Fast Lane

by Kristen Ashley

  We all knew who he was, and not only because all of us but Preacher had dated models he’d shot, so that agenda item at a band meeting took us about thirty seconds to discuss before we said yes.

  Deal was, for the first time for anyone outside our inner circle, Trelane had all access all the time except when a member of the band was in their own space, say in their suite. He couldn’t invade that unless he had permission.

  And Preacher wanted right of refusal on whether or not he published images he’d taken of Lyla.

  We thought that last would blow the deal.

  But Trelane agreed.

  The man even walked out onstage to take pictures of us while we were playing, with Preacher saying shit into the mic like, “That’s Cat Trelane, and the man’s got talent, so if you don’t know who he is, find out. He’s thinkin’ of putting together a book with pictures of the Roadmasters on tour. So, he decides we’re worthy of that, you better fuckin’ buy it.”

  And man, when that book came out, I’ll tell you what.

  [Lengthy pause]

  They bought it.

  But Trelane dipped in and out of the tour. He wasn’t with us the whole time.

  When he was, he was everywhere.

  Sound check. Backstage. Dressing room. When we were partying. On the plane with us.

  And true to form with him, we watch, and his favorite subject, bar none, is Lyla.

  But also, he’s all about Leeanne.

  Not with pictures so much.

  But he had a fascination with her he didn’t hide.

  The band caught it, and I can’t say any of us got it.

  She definitely caught it, and she came in thinking her shit didn’t stink, but that made her think it smelled like roses.

  I don’t think Tim noticed.

  [Off tape]

  I see your theme continues, dark and light.

  Yeah.

  And not only because Lyla is blonde and Leeanne was a brunette.

  Because one woman had a soul of gold and one had a black heart.

  We really had it good.

  We really did.

  It’s one of those things you don’t understand until it’s over. You don’t understand and so you don’t celebrate it, cherish it while you have it.

  Keep it safe.

  But we got along.

  We all got along with each other and collectively.

  Until we didn’t.

  That first breakfast after there was a couple of days Preacher seemed off—when Tom and Shawn came down pissed right the hell off, and Preach looks like he’s been whipped, and Lyla’s not even fuckin’ there, and Tom shares he almost called an ambulance because he couldn’t wake up Dave, and Dave loses his mind Tommy’s tellin’ us that—things that were already on edge and we didn’t really get it, probably thought it’d just go away, got razor sharp.

  Tom wants a clean tour, no booze, no drugs, cold turkey, and DuShawn is backing that and doing it hard.

  Dave is ready to get up and walk away.

  Tim’s high on something. We’re talkin’ about a clean tour and he’s wasted.

  I don’t give a fuck, but to be honest, I could use a break and I tell the guys that.

  Preacher refuses to weigh in, but he does this watching Timmy real close and I can tell something is turning over in his head, so I figure he’s eventually gonna back going sober. And I’m hopin’ he does ’cause if Preacher says it, even Dave is gonna pull his shit together.

  Then, before we can lock that down however it’s gonna get locked down, Trelane strolls up and says he’s with us for the next coupla gigs.

  We’re to the point in our careers…

  And this isn’t the first time, Tommy worked hard at keeping the band’s reputation what it was back when we were on the road, playing bars in the Midwest.

  So, it wasn’t about three pages of riders and some lackey picking out the green M&Ms in the bowls in our dressing room, or whatever the fuck.

  Though we definitely had M&Ms [chuckles] and Snickers. Dave had a sweet tooth.

  [Smiles]

  And, you know, Van Halen pulled that shit as an easy way to know if the more important riders on their contract were seen to. You know, like reinforced stages so they didn’t fall through and break their necks while playin’, [grins in a manner that’s more a grimace] shit like that.

  There’s a lot to be said about the life and times of the band Van Halen, but they got a bad rap with that M&M thing.

  Just sayin’.

  [Shifts in chair and settles]

  We might not hit the stage on time, but we showed on time ready to do our thing.

  But we didn’t slum it, flying first class.

  Yeah, I said slum it, flying first class.

  But there it was.

  That was who we became.

  That was what we worked for.

  And that was what Tommy got us.

  So, we got our own jet.

  From Like a Desperation, we had our own jet.

  I can tell straight off when we get on the plane that something’s not right with Lyla, but I think it’s Leeanne, and I’m pleased as fuck because if she’s homing in on Leeanne, that means Leeanne is soon gonna be history.

  That might sound weak, but guy code, for sure.

  You don’t wade in with that shit.

  A woman?

  One of the guys’ women?

  [Shakes head]

  Nah.

  No way.

  But Lyla would lay waste to her.

  A genuine groupie who loves music and fucking rock stars and gets off on her brand of the “I’m with the band” gig, they’d be fast friends.

  A situation where, on both sides, there’s a genuine attempt to make a go at a relationship, she’s hands off.

  A vampire who’s out for blood, Lyla could sniff that out in a snap.

  And Lyla would not mess around with garlic.

  She’d get some wooden stakes and hone them to a fine point.

  At least I thought so, at the time.

  So we get on that plane and Preacher is fused to Lyla, Lyla is subdued, Tom is watchful, Dave and Shawn are pissed, Tim is out of it, Leeanne is whatever Leeanne was, and I’m tryin’ to figure out what’s going on and what I should do about it since it seems clear at this point that Preacher is not gonna wade in and Tommy for once isn’t bulldogging us, so someone’s gotta do something.

  We get to the hotel, everyone disappears behind closed doors.

  We don’t do what we’ve always have done.

  That being drop our shit, do the interviews or whatever, then meander to someone’s suite, throw some back, rapping and deciding on a setlist.

  Then that night, we play “Maybe I’m Amazed.”

  We do our thing in the dressing room after with local bigwigs and celebrities who pull strings for the privilege, backstage passers, but there’s no other after party ’cause Preacher is all about Lyla, Shawn’s not in the party mood, Leeanne has sensed it’s time to strike and is screwing up to do that, and by that I mean she’s screwing Tim’s brains out, and I’m truly seeing the wisdom of taking a break from the garbage for a while.

  So…

  Yeah.

  Trelane senses all this shit is goin’ down.

  Which means, unless he’s got a previous engagement, Trelane is with us for the rest of the tour.

  [Off tape]

  If I recall, and I’ve studied that book thoroughly, there isn’t a picture in it full-face or solo of Leeanne Brewster. Only shots of her in the background or partly hidden by someone or in profile and out of focus.

  Yeah, all I can say about that is, Trelane had her number.

  I think the only one who didn’t was Tim.

  I’m not ever sure he really saw it.

  In the end, Tim just picked the band.

  Gig after that, I remember it was Houston, we get to the hotel and, since no one is doing anything, I figure I gotta man up and not wait for Preacher or Tom to take care of bus
iness.

  So, I go to Dave’s room and knock on the door and we haven’t been there an hour and he’s already cleaned out the tequila in his minibar and had more brought up.

  I’m all “Dave, Tommy can’t wake you up? Dude.”

  I’m also braced for him to get pissed and for there to be a fight.

  But he just goes to the couch, sits down, all folded into himself.

  [Grimaces]

  This does not fill me with happy feelings and now I’m wishing he’d fight ’cause this is worse.

  I sit with him and I’m all “What the fuck, man?”

  He stays folded, but turns his head to look at me, and he says, “I can’t do it anymore.”

  Now, this tweaks me because never, not ever, have any of us said shit like this.

  I don’t know if any of us have even thought shit like this.

  I ask, “Can’t do what anymore?”

  He says, “I’m in love with her.”

  I say, “In love with who?”

  Then he says, “Lyla.”

  Now…

  [Draws word out] Shit.

  I feel his pain.

  You know I feel his pain.

  Trying to find what Preach had with Lyla led me to Cynthia and then Tiffany and after her Miranda.

  And it wasn’t that none of those women were Lyla.

  It was that I was looking for my Lyla, when I should have just been looking for what was mine.

  But at this point, or any point, for Dave, that’s just not gonna happen.

  But what do I say to the guy?

  And remember, I got a sister who’s a functioning alcoholic.

  Good thing, by this time, she scraped off her first husband.

  Bad thing, she’s now with a guy who has the personality of a wet dishrag.

  Can’t have someone in her life who actually gives a shit and has a backbone, because if she does, he might want her to lose the booze and face her demons.

  [Takes deep breath]

  I blew it with her, repeatedly, and would continue doing it.

  With Davey, I gotta find my way to sort his shit.

  Yeah, that was about me. About my livelihood. About our music and our earning and our legacy.

  It was also that I just couldn’t do it again with someone I loved going down that road, no matter there’s no control over what’s pushing you to that path.

  So, I just say, “I hear you, I feel you, but going so far Tom’s gotta throw water in your face to rouse you, man, that’s not the answer to anything. Do you need rehab?”

  He sits back at that, and I know why. He wonders if Lyla will think he’s weak ’cause he’s gotta go to rehab.

  And he says, “No way.”

  So, I push, “Clean tour. Lose the tequila and flush any shit you absolutely don’t need, brother.”

  No fight, another surprise, but this time it’s a relief, he nods, and we do it together.

  Probably hundreds of dollars of coke and hundreds more of uppers and downers down the toilet.

  We sit down again, and he asks, “You think Preach and Lyla will do a clean tour?”

  I tell him I don’t know.

  He says, “I gave her her first toke, Jess. I gave her her first snort. She’s deep into that shit and it was me who fed it to her.”

  I got an answer for that.

  I tell him, “That’s bullshit and the first person who would tell you that is Lyla. She makes her own choices and she owns them, good or bad.”

  It’s gonna be an eventful day at the hotel, because we decide to get away from the minibar and go find something to eat, we’re walking to the elevators, and we hear coming from down the other end of the hall one fuckuva racket.

  Leeanne is screeching.

  We jog down there, sounds like they’re not only fighting, but tearing up the room.

  First cell phones out that don’t look like a brick, Tommy makes sure we all got one.

  Though, just sayin’, he had one from the time they looked like a brick.

  [Half-grin]

  I tell Dave to call Tom, and if he doesn’t answer, page the motherfucker, ’cause Tom was all about his beeper, and I hammer on the door.

  Timmy answers and he looks relieved, which does not give me a good feeling, but Leeanne’s shrieking inside the room, “Whoever it is, get rid of them!”

  I push in.

  Dave pushes in with me.

  Tim’s clothes and shoes are everywhere, not Leeanne’s, Tim’s and some of them are shredded like someone’s taken scissors to them.

  Now, she’s beautiful. If you don’t know her, man, she’s beautiful. You know her, that’s a different story but good looks are good looks.

  Swear to fuck, sister, I take one look at that woman and I get a chill.

  That look on her face and in her eyes?

  [Shakes head]

  That was what Trelane saw before all of us.

  That was why he didn’t feature her in any way in that book.

  I cannot say that woman was pure evil.

  I just know, in that moment, she was.

  So, I can say she had that in her.

  And Trelane saw before any of us that she had that in her, and he was about capturing beauty or something interesting or making you think or taking you out of your world and exposing you to another, even if that other made you uncomfortable or even squirm.

  Her?

  He had no interest in her.

  I’m all “What’s goin’ on here?”

  And she shouts, “None of your fuckin’ business.”

  And I say, “It’s my business, my boy’s clothes all over the place, and they’re fucked up and you’re screaming the roof down.”

  “If Lyla was fighting with Preacher, you wouldn’t come knocking on the door,” she says.

  “Lyla wouldn’t scream at him and cut up his clothes,” Dave says.

  Leeanne knows that’s the truth, and she’s smart enough to know she doesn’t get down and dirty about Lyla with any of the band, so she doesn’t continue down that road.

  “What I’m sayin’ again is,” she goes on, “it’s none of your goddamn business.”

  And I just brave the beast, look right into her eyes and say, “Tim’s my brother. So, he’s my business.”

  She looks at Tim and demands, “Tim, get rid of them.”

  Now this is not a good situation for a brother to be in.

  Somehow, she’s got him whipped but his two boys are standing there.

  No man should let a woman, and just sayin’, that shit is vice versa, pull his leash ever, but definitely not in front of his boys.

  Shades of the real Dave shine through and he says to Timmy, “I get it. She ain’t hard to look at. But you can get any pussy you want, dude. Lose this chick. She ain’t worth it.”

  [Smiles]

  Well…

  [Starts laughing]

  Needless to say, this does not make Leeanne happy and she loses it.

  I mean she…fuckin’…loses it.

  She’s in the middle of aiming her shit at Dave with Tim holding her back from goin’ at him when Tom shows.

  And me and Dave are about looking out for our brother.

  Tom’s about looking out for the band.

  He sees the state of the place and gets a load of Leeanne and he says to Tim, “She goes or you’re on a break and you go with her. You need to snap out of it and take a look around you. A lot is at stake right now, Tim. And I don’t got time to be pissing around with the likes of her.”

  Now I cannot say I’m totally down with Tommy laying it out like that.

  And I get the vibe Dave isn’t either.

  That said, it mighta been harsh, but he wasn’t wrong.

  But Leeanne tips it by flying totally off the handle, screeching at Tommy that he’s not important. He’s not in the band. He doesn’t get to make decisions like that. He can’t tell Tim what to do. Tim’s actually the star of the Roadmasters, everyone knows that, and it’s about time he gets
his due, whatever she thinks that is.

  And a bunch of other shit.

  [Lifts one shoulder in a shrug]

  Whatever.

  One thing we had that was solid, we all knew none of us would be where we were without the rest of us.

  And that includes Tom.

  And you know what, maybe that especially includes Tommy.

  So, that shit spews from her mouth, whatever hold she has on Tim disintegrates, and he says, “Pack your shit.”

  In the end, security had to escort her out.

  Tom stayed and sorted it while Tim went with Dave and me to go get something to eat.

  But when we get back, they take off and I go right to Preacher and Lyla’s room.

  Because, you see, now I’ve had a few days to think on things and I haven’t had the most pleasant afternoon.

  [Laughs harshly]

  And he took my band.

  It’s his band.

  We all get along and we all do our jobs and it’s okay for you to have your own thing when it’s working.

  But when you got something good, something worth it, you take care of it.

  In other words, when it’s not working, you get stuck in and sort shit out.

  And it did not escape me, and just sayin’, it didn’t escape Shawn, Tim or Dave either, that in the last few days, we were all in different ways in the mix to take care of it.

  And Preacher was not.

  I knock.

  Preach answers and says, “Not a good time, brother.”

  “Shit is goin’ down with the band,” I reply. “And you need to engage.”

  He says, “I got my own shit.”

  And I say, “Well, that’s a problem, Preach. That’s a big fuckin’ problem.”

  Preacher says, “It’s gonna be all right.”

  So, I say, “The rest of the tour is clean and Leeanne’s gone, security had to escort her out, but that’s the least of our shit and you know it.”

  I can tell by the look on his face when I mention the tour being clean he’s not down with that and when I said the word “security” he did not like that happened, he did not like that he didn’t know, and he hadn’t been there to see to Timmy.