“Jace…”
He bit his bottom lip and turned away from me. He rested his forearms on the top of his head and clasped his hands together. “Red wants me to pass some of his products to people. It’s easy enough. The clients are easy targets.”
“Clients? What clients?”
He turned back toward me. “Listen, Danny. I just need a little help. There’s a few kids at your school who—”
“You’re selling to kids? You’re selling to my students?” My eyes widened in horror. I stepped backwards.
“It’s not me, Danny. It’s Red. He’s testing me. He’s seeing if he can fully trust me. And if I can get these things out to a few of them, he said he’ll let me get my revenge. Mom’s revenge. He’ll tell me the guy’s name who killed her. With you being a teacher at Edgewood, maybe…maybe you can help get me a few names of the kids who use.”
“You’re fucking crazy. Do you hear yourself? He’s using you, Jace! He’s mocking you, dragging you back and forth like some toy. You think he didn’t know that I was a teacher there? You think he didn’t know that it would fuck up my life, too?”
“It won’t!” he promised and lied at the same time.
“It already has.” I paused. “I won’t help. And if I see you anywhere near my school, I will have you locked up again.”
He laughed uncomfortably. “Just like that, huh?”
I said nothing.
“You’ll have me locked up again for trying to find out who murdered our mother?” He paused and kicked around invisible rocks. “Okay. I don’t need your help. But if you get in my way, I will put you down.”
“You’re the one trying to sell drugs to students, Jace. Not me.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” he said, “But you’re the one fucking your students, not me. What was it? Ashlyn?” My fists tightened and I could feel my heart rate increase. He must have noticed too. “Ohh, is that a touchy subject? You’re all red in the face and shit.”
“Jace,” I said coldly, but I couldn’t say any more.
“You were right about one thing, Danny.” He pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. The cigarette rested between his lips and he lit it. His fingers moved to the side of his head and he tapped it. “I am fucking crazy. So don’t cross me. Or I’ll destroy you and your little student. I wonder what kind of things the other kids would say about her. As we both know, high school can be a real bitch.”
“Jace, if this is about Sarah—” I started to warn him, but he cut me off.
“Don’t!” His words grew darker. “Don’t bring her into this. I’m not kidding. I will fucking ruin your girlfriend’s life.”
He started to leave, and I sighed heavily. “What would Mom and Dad think? Of what you’re doing?”
“Well”—he didn’t look back—“I think they would be proud of me for actually following through with something. For bringing Mom’s death to justice.”
And like an infectious disease, Jace was spreading his way back into my life—again. I’d got away from his trouble. I’d focused on my music. I’d focused on teaching.
Yet somehow, someway, here we were again.
I marched back into the house and heard guitar strings being played. In the living room, Randy was sitting up on the couch, working on some new song lyrics. He looked up at me. “When did Jace get out?” he asked, playing his new tune.
“Don’t know, but he’s here.” I plopped down on the sofa. My hands ran across my face.
“He looked good though. Clean.”
I had to agree with that. I could always tell when Jace was using—he became jittery, nervous. But when I’d seen him at the cemetery and the school, he’d seemed strong. He’d looked like he had before he’d started using.
His hair was buzzed and he stood in business attire—probably something that Red guy had set up. But I knew Jace. I knew deep down how emotional he was, how broken he was. So if the temptation of the drugs was there, it wouldn’t be long before he welcomed them back into his life.
“What are ya working on?” I asked, changing the subject.
Randy picked up a book and tossed it to me. “Othello. I was trying to come up with some new material. I thought we could maybe open up with it on Friday for our show at The Upper Level. I know it’s a bit last minute but…”
“Let me see the lyrics.”
He handed me the paper and my eyes darted back and forth. Randy was a brilliant musician and storyteller, so I had no doubt the lyrics would be good. Yet these were better than good. These were mind-blowing.
Silent whispers of darkened souls.
My human side is now uncontrolled.
I see colors that make no sense,
But in your eyes, I know the truth exists.
Kidnapped, deranged, untamed.
Come back to me. Take my hand.
Dance. Dance to forbidden lands.
“I wanted something a bit darker. A bit grittier. Shakespeare had all kinds of sides, ya know?”
“Pass me the guitar,” I said. My fingers started strumming the guitar, feeling the strings move between my fingertips. I closed my eyes as I played, and like always, there Ashlyn was. The music only brought her closer to me, the sounds bringing my imagination to life.
I couldn’t let Jace ruin her life. And I couldn’t let her think that I didn’t care either. But what could I do?
Air is thick.
My mind is fogged.
Tell me we’re not about to lose it all.
~ Romeo’s Quest
The next few days of school were tough. I was stuck in a clouded, jaded mood. I’d hardly had any sleep because when I wasn’t thinking about Ashlyn, I was worrying about Jace. He could hurt someone. He could hurt himself. He could hurt my students. He could hurt Ashlyn.
After class with Ashlyn never looking up from her desk, I knew I should talk to her. Try to explain the situation. Right before lunch, I saw her walking with that Jake kid. He had been by her side each and every day, trying to ease his way into her heart. Trying to steal my placement. He didn’t have to try too hard though. I was merely handing it to him. I wasn’t even fighting for her…
She looked my way for a split second before she turned back to him and laughed loudly. Her hand landed on his chest, and he smirked wide. The way she flipped her hair over her shoulder and giggled for him made me sick. The way he moved in close and amused her made me pissed.
He was flirting with her, and she was flirting back.
But I knew her.
She was only flirting to make me jealous.
It was working.
Even though it was only to piss me off, I knew she liked the idea of it. Touching in public. Something I couldn’t give her. What kind of man couldn’t give his woman the love she longed for, she needed?
My fists balled up and I stepped forward, rage filling my body. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I had to do something. I couldn’t just give her up, let him have her. She might not have been mine. She might have rejected the idea of us ever being us after I’d fucked up and ignored her in some weird attempt to protect her, but…
I was hers.
Every part of me.
Every inch of my being belonged to Ashlyn Jennings.
And every time she laughed at something Jake said, every time she touched his arm and not mine, a part of me faded away. A part of me vanished.
“Ashlyn!” I called after her. She looked at me as if I were crazy, narrowing her eyes. “Can I speak to you about your paper?”
She told Jake that she would see him in class and came over to me. “What is it?”
I led her into my classroom and closed the door behind me. My fists remained and I leaned in a bit, whispering, “Why are you all over him like that?”
She crossed her arms. “None of your business,” she remarked, attitude in her tone.
I growled, running my hands through my hair. “You’re doing it to make me jealous.”
“I’
m not doing anything,” she said with a sly smirk, loving the fact that she was getting under my skin.
“Yes you—” I took a breath. I lowered my voice. “Ashlyn… Now is not the time to start acting your age.”
“Are you calling me childish? Me?! The only one who seems to know that communication makes things work?” Her eyes widened at my comment and she parted her lips. “Fuck you, Mr. Daniels.”
My hands landed on her shoulders, my eyes pleading for just a moment for us to be us. “Ashlyn, it’s me. Daniel. I’m still me.”
I saw her eyes soften. She looked to the ground, and when she looked up, she was on the edge of tears. “I miss you.”
Without thinking, I crashed my mouth against hers, wrapping my hand around her neck. She kissed me back, slamming her hands against my chest. I lifted her up and pinned her against my storage closet. My hands cupped her breasts through her shirt and I heard a moan escape from her and into my mouth as I circled my thumbs over her hardened nipples. My hand wrapped against the edge of her shirt and I slid it up as she dug her fingers into my back, pushing her hips against mine.
I stopped myself when there was a pounding on my classroom door. Without thinking, I opened my storage closet and shoved Ashlyn into it.
My door opened and I saw Henry peeking his head inside. He was smiling my way. My heart landed in my throat. Had he seen me shove his daughter?
Holy shit, I shoved Ashlyn into a closet.
“Hey, Dan.”
I gave him a strained smile. “Henry, how are you?”
“Good, good. I was just wondering… Can I see you in my office real fast? About Ashlyn?”
About Ashlyn. Those words echoed in my head. The accelerated beat of my thoughts was terrifying. Everything in my body tightened. He knows. I wondered if Jace had told him, if he had really stooped to that level. Clearing my throat, I spoke. “I’m on lunch duty.”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It will be fast.” A loud noise was heard from the closet and Henry raised an eyebrow. “Did you hear that?”
I started coughing harshly, trying my best to cover up the noise Ashlyn was making. “Hear something? Yeah, one of my lights needs to be changed. It’s been making a weird buzzing noise lately. Anyway, I’ll meet you down in your office in a second.”
He frowned, staring at my ceiling before he thanked me and walked away. My hands ran over my face, trying to shake myself from my own nerves. I opened the closet and Ashlyn stepped out. I slid my hands into my pockets.
“He knows?” she whispered.
I shrugged. “It’s okay.” Her green eyes relaxed a bit. I gave her a sad grin. “We’re okay.”
“No. We’re not. You know, I imagined this before…” She shook her head. “Almost being caught in school. I thought it would be sexy and adventurous. But in all reality, you just shoved me into a closet.”
My mind was racing, trying to figure out a way to explain it to her. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just—”
“If you were caught in a relationship with a student, there might be trouble,” she muttered. “I’m so stupid.”
“Ashlyn—”
“It’s my fault, really. I live in my books. I romanticized this whole thing. But the truth is, it’s not romantic—being someone’s secret.” Her long eyelashes blinked and she shifted her weight around. “You can’t do this. You can’t pull me into your classroom again.”
“I know!” I shouted a hair too loud, but my heart was pounding aggressively in my chest. I wanted to punch something because I was so damn confused. I hated how I couldn’t be seen with her. I hated how, when we were together, she would look at the other couples holding hands with a twitch of envy in her lips. I hated everything about our situation.
I walked to Henry’s office, where he already was, and I closed the door behind me. He took a seat behind his desk and cleared his throat. The first thing I noticed was the picture of Ryan and his sister sitting on his desk. Ashlyn and Gabby were nowhere to be found.
“Thanks for meeting with me…” He sounded nervous. A lot more nervous than a father would sound if he knew his daughter was involved with a teacher. He didn’t know. Holy shit, he didn’t know. “I wanted to ask you for a favor.”
I arched an eyebrow and sat back in my chair. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, as you know…” He lifted a picture frame that was facing him and stared at it. When he sat it back down, I got a glimpse of it—the twins. They’d been there all along, facing toward Henry. “Ashlyn is my daughter. She’s been going through a lot with the loss of her sister…”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered and meant it.
He cleared his voice and strained to get his words out. “Thank you. But the thing is, Ashlyn’s mom is dealing with some personal issues and needed space. So Ashlyn came to stay with me. Her mom, Kim, just called me and told me that a letter came from Ashlyn’s dream college in California. They are asking for one more letter of recommendation. She’s just been through so much...”
California.
The word played over and over in my head. It ran across my skin, trampling me with the truth behind it.
I nodded slowly, wanting to rush out of his office to find Ashlyn and hold her. I wanted to tell her that she couldn’t go. That she could stay with me. That after the school year, we could be together. But I couldn’t. Henry continued.
“And I know this may be out of line but…I don’t think she can handle another letdown. It’s too much. I plan to tell her about the letter later this week. But do you think—only if you feel like you can—do you think you could write her a letter of recommendation? Again, you do not have to. I just need her to have more ups than downs.”
I placed my hands on the edge of his desk. Could I write her a letter to help her get into her dream college in California? My throat dried and a sharp sting hit my eyes. I blinked repeatedly, wanting to scream, “No! She can’t go! She can’t leave me!”
My eyes shut again. And when they reopened, I said okay. I agreed to help send Ashlyn away to live her own life.
“It would be my honor.”
When I turned toward Ashlyn’s lunch table, she was looking my way. A sigh of relief left her lips as she realized that everything would be fine with Henry. My feet led me to her table, where Ryan and Hailey were eating with her.
“Hey, Mr. D, you joining us for lunch?” Ryan joked.
I smiled and shook my head. “Ah, no. On a scale of one to inappropriate…that would be at the top of the charts.” I saw Ashlyn lightly laugh at my comment, which made everything feel right. I missed that sound so fucking much. “Ashlyn, I’m supposed to take you to the assistant principal’s office.” Hailey asked why. I appeared stumped. “Don’t know. He just asked for her.”
“Maybe Henry saw the hickey,” Ryan smirked.
I watched as Ashlyn’s cheeks blushed over and she combed her hair down against her neck. She stood up from her seat, grabbed her backpack, and followed me out of the lunchroom.
“Follow me,” I whispered to her.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
I turned and saw the confusion in her eyes. A sad inquiry dwelled in her gaze. “Do you trust me?”
She released a breath. Her beautiful full lips turned up.
Yet she didn’t follow me.
She walked beside me, our footsteps in perfect sync.
We traveled down a stairway, which led us to another staircase, leading to the basement. The space was completely silent, minus the pipes and storage closest that held all the power switches inside. We walked to a dark corner where a few unhinged doors lay against a gated area.
I lifted the door that was blocking the entrance to the gated area and moved it out of the way. Ashlyn lowered the book that was held to her chest and we stepped into the area.
“What did Henry want?” she wondered out loud.
I hesitated to tell her. I didn’t want to say the words, because if I did, that would mean that California was
actually a choice.
“You um…” Shit. “You applied to a school in California?” I posed as a question.
Her eyes widened and she turned quickly away from me. Jittery, her body shook. “University of Southern California. Gabby made me apply. I didn’t think I would get in.” She whipped back around, her long blond hair flying across her face. “I got in?”
I saw it—the look of pure joy in her face. Her jade eyes smiled so deep.
Gabby might have had Ashlyn apply, but it was her dream.
“They need one more letter of recommendation,” I choked out. Her expression shifted to disappointment. “Ashlyn, that’s amazing. They’re interested!” I wanted her to be happy about it again. I liked it best when she was smiling. “This is huge!”
Her lips turned up. She was unable to hold her joy. “It is huge, isn’t it? So what do you have to do with this?”
“He wants me to write it.”
“And you’ll do that?” she questioned nervously.
“Of course I will.”
“Don’t do it because of…this…” She gestured between her and me. “Don’t do it because of whatever this is. Only do it if you think I deserve it.”
I crossed my arms and shook my head back and forth. “All feelings aside, our situation out of the picture…you deserve it. You work hard, and you’re beyond gifted. You deserve it.”
Her face dropped. “What’s going on with you, Daniel? With us?”
She deserved an answer to that, yet I wasn’t sure I had a good one. “After I found out that you were my student…my mind went crazy.” I sighed. “Then my brother Jace showed up and fucked up my world…and now I see you with other guys and it kills me, Ashlyn. It kills me that you’ve been through so much and I can’t comfort you, can’t hold you. It kills me that there are other people who can comfort you and hold you.”
She listened calmly as she placed her backpack and her book on the ground. She walked over to me and took my hands into hers. My arms wrapped around her small body and I pulled her close, breathing in her smells, her strawberry shampoo, her perfume. Her.
Loving Mr. Daniels Page 17
