We Have Till Dawn

by Cara Dee

  His mouth twitched a little.

  “I’ll talk to her too.” I bumped my forehead gently against his. “And let’s make one thing clear. The first and the second, maybe even the third time you and I go over to hers for dinner, we’ll both be nervous. You’ll worry about stepping on any toes and saying the wrong thing, and I’ll worry about not being able to calm you down enough. But at the end of the day, if my family sees that I’m happy, they’re happy.” What was next? Oh, the social life crap. “Now. Going out on the weekends and whatever. You’re obviously gonna meet Ruby and Chris, and I’ll be stoked whenever you come with us to a bar. But I will totally understand when you don’t feel up to it—hell, sometimes I don’t either. It’s unfair to compare how often I go out when I’m single to how I wanna spend my time with you. I’m not as social as you think.”

  He cleared his throat and raised a brow, and the seconds-long look he gave me made me grin.

  “Fine, by your standards, maybe I am social,” I chuckled. “My point is, I love staying at home. It’s what I prefer. I wanna have movie nights and make dinner together and just be with you.” I eased the pad of my thumb over the worry lines between his eyebrows. “We also never stay out very long, my friends and I. We’re busy with our own lives. Most of the time, it’s a couple drinks, and then someone’s yawning because they’ve had a long day.”

  Some of the tension left his shoulders, and he leaned forward to drop his forehead to my shoulder.

  “I already know you’re picky and not flexible.” I kissed the side of his head. “I’m the opposite, so chances are I won’t fight you if you have a strong preference. And sometimes we’ll compromise. Sometimes I’ll push. We’ll talk, we’ll make mistakes, we’ll even fight, but as long as we have each other’s backs and wanna be together, we’ll work things out.”

  He hummed. “You make it sound easy. I hate embarrassing myself, not to mention others. What if I embarrass you? I need breaks sometimes, you know. If it’s too loud in a restaurant, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, but…and please don’t take offense, but if the display between you and your father after the concert is any indication of what a Sunday dinner is like, what if—I mean—how—” He cursed and stumbled over his words.

  “Hey. Look at me, honey.” I cupped his cheeks and got him to stop hiding against my neck. “First of all, it’s impossible to embarrass me. Second of all, I want us to be a team. If it’s that important to you to be discreet about wanting a breather, we’ll come up with a system. You can signal to me whenever you need to duck out for a moment, and we’ll take turns coming up with excuses. Maybe I’ll send you down to the car to get something, or maybe you can step outside with Anthony when he takes a smoke. Or, if you want Nonna to fuss over you and give you extra dessert, you pretend to take a work call in the stairway, and when you come back, she’ll express her worry about you working too much by filling your plate.”

  There were countless options. It wasn’t an issue.

  It seemed to be a big deal to Gideon, however. His eyes became misty, and he managed a wobbly smile. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course.” I rested my forehead against his and wiped my fingers under his eyes. “Just be patient with me. I fucked up badly today, and I need time to learn your cues and recognize your needs better. I shouldn’t have just shown up like that.”

  He shook his head and closed his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. “You don’t understand the impact you’ve had on me. I feel more alive now than I ever have, and I welcome the moments of discomfort if it means I’m making strides forward with you. For goodness’ sake, you give me memories worth remembering.” When he opened his eyes again, they were clearer and more beautiful than ever. There was a spark of hunger, of determination. “I foolishly thought you’d be another temporary obsession at first, but I could not have been more wrong.”

  Oof, serious case of nerves suddenly wreaked havoc in my stomach.

  He inched back slightly and didn’t waver. “I don’t know the exact moment I chose you, Nicky, but I knew there was no going back when I saw you with that little girl at the recital. She sat on your lap and gave you the biggest hug when her mother showed up.” He paused. “I practiced those words on the way over here.”

  I grinned widely and became all mushy again.

  We were fucking happening.

  “Good emotions?” he asked, to make sure.

  I nodded and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “Overwhelmingly good. A future with you is all I want.”

  His expression softened. “Me too.” Then he leaned in and kissed me gently, and it was the perfect way to continue after our tumultuous beginning. I wanted heaps of comfort. My body screamed to be held and, fuck, I wanted to sleep. Believing I’d lost the man of my dreams for even a day had drained me completely.

  “Let’s get under the covers,” I mumbled against his lips. “I wanna make out and cuddle. And sleep without setting the alarm for dawn.”

  Because we finally had longer than that.

  “Sounds perfect to me.” He grasped the bottom of my tee and pulled it over my head. “I missed you.”

  God. Those words…

  “I missed you too.”

  Epilogue

  A few hours later

  I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard rustling beside me. It sounded like I did when I tore out lyrics from my notebook in frustration.

  Squinting at Gideon, who was more of a black silhouette in front of the lamp on the nightstand, I saw he was jotting something down on a notepad.

  “Papi, get back to sleep…”

  “In a moment.” He raked his teeth over his bottom lip and kept writing. “Sorry if I woke you.”

  “It’s okay. What’re you doing?” I yawned and stretched out next to him.

  “Making lists,” he replied. “I don’t want to miss any important steps in our relationship.”

  I grinned sleepily and hugged his thigh under the duvet, and I brushed my hand over his cock.

  “I’ve also narrowed it down to two terms of endearment I’d like to use for you,” he added.

  “Oh yeah? What are they?” I dropped a kiss to his thigh as I stroked his cock absently. He was a shower and had a fairly large dick even when he was soft, and I wanted it in my mouth but figured he was busy doing his thing now. It was possible I had a one-track mind, but in my defense, he’d spoiled me with a shitload of sex. He was the one who’d made me obsessed with his body.

  “You know I’m not going to get hard, right?” he asked carefully.

  “Yeah—and? Your cock is snuggly.”

  He snorted and relaxed. “By the way, you have a couple text messages.”

  I hummed. They were probably from Anthony and Ruby. I’d texted them both before we crashed last night.

  “The terms of endearment,” I reminded.

  “Right. Question. Can I also call you baby, or is that taken? Because I like it, especially when we’re in bed.”

  He could definitely call me baby.

  “It’s not taken. I’ll be your perfect baby boy whenever you want it.” Needing more, I crawled under the covers and between his legs, where I sucked his cock into my mouth.

  His breath hitched a little, and he set down the notepad. “You do look perfect when you suck on me.” He wove his fingers into my hair and sighed contentedly. “I want to call you sweetheart too. When you’re sweet, anyway. Not when you’re a desperate little slut.”

  Fuuuck.

  Safe to say, I was getting hard fast.

  “Do you want me to take care of you?” he murmured.

  I nodded, and my body took over. Or the desperation did. “Yes, please.”

  “Okay. I want to try a toy on you. Lie on your back and spread your legs for me.”

  Yes, sir.

  As I obeyed and got into position, I asked if he could tell me what else was on his lists. Because no matter how horny I was, I was more hooked on us finally being together, and I wanted to s
ee if there was anything else that melted my damn heart. He had his way of doing that.

  “It’s mostly milestones and things I’ve wanted to do during these past two months that have been too…you know, relationship-themed.” He was slipping into his role of frank, factual, and almost detached Dominant, and it was as sexy as ever. It was the combination of hot and cold that did it for me, the mixing of sweet, nurturing Daddy and impersonal filth.

  “Like what?” I bit my lip and watched as he poured lube over the dildo I’d gotten that resembled his cock.

  “Dates, for instance,” he said. “I want to take you out for breakfast in the morning, if you don’t mind. I’ve never been on a date like that, and I like breakfast. Breakfast is the coziest of meals. I picture us sitting close together and eating bagels and watching people walk by.”

  I smiled like the love-sick idiot I was. “It’s a date.”

  He flashed me a quick smile in return but was full steam ahead mentally and had already moved on to the next topic. It was easily noticeable when he forgot to react to something.

  “I’ve also been looking at real estate in Brooklyn,” he said frankly. “Your brother chose well. Park Slope is lovely and has great schools.”

  He didn’t understand the magnitude of what he was saying. To me, it was the most reassuring thing in the world. This was legit. He was serious about us. And Brooklyn? Fuck me twice, just that he was considering living there… I had no words for it. He could pick whatever neighborhood he wanted.

  “You realize Park Slope has nothing I can afford, right?” I had to throw that out there.

  He furrowed his brow and wiped his hand on a tissue. “I do realize that. It’s on my list of things I’d like to have a veto on. Or rather, things I’d like to be in charge of completely.”

  This oughta be good…

  “How long is this list?”

  “Only three items, so far,” he assured. “One, I don’t want any money talk. The life you’re giving me—and the life I want us to give each other—can’t be quantified and price-tagged. I’d rather we toss all our strengths and weaknesses, assets and so on, and just mix it all together and call it ours.” He paused and leveled me with a serious look. All while holding a lubed-up dildo in his hand. “I genuinely believe this will cause the least amount of arguments.”

  There would be some arguments about it, ’cause two months weren’t enough to build a foundation on, in which I suddenly possessed half of his wealth. Life didn’t work that way.

  “We can negotiate the terms,” I bargained, “but you can decide where we live when that day comes.”

  “I’d really prefer if you just agreed with me.”

  I let out a loud laugh and scratched my stomach. “I’m sure you would, papito. But that’s not why you’re dating me. As much as it’ll frustrate you, you know I’ll do the right thing and slow us down a little so we can enjoy dating properly, meeting up frequently and fucking our way through our most intense honeymoon phase, spoiling each other rotten with thoughtful little gifts, and texting too much how we miss each other when we’re at work. No one’s getting unnecessarily overwhelmed on my watch.”

  He opened his mouth to respond, only to close it again and smile softly. “I like that vision.”

  “So do I.” I extended a hand to him, wanting him close, wanting…fuck. Everything. I had to let him know that I was serious too. Taking things slowly in the beginning was good, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want everything he’d talked about, including a home together and a good school district. “Come kiss me.”

  He grinned and crawled over to me, and I pushed myself up on my elbows and met him in a deep, languid kiss.

  I didn’t even know where he’d gotten the chocolate from this time, but he definitely tasted of it.

  “I love you, Gideon.”

  He broke away from the kiss and flicked his gaze to meet mine.

  I stroked his cheek.

  “Are you certain?” he asked.

  I chuckled. “I’ve never been more sure.”

  He kissed me again, harder this time, and it wasn’t an awesome kiss, because he couldn’t keep from smiling, which sort of made it the perfect kiss instead.

  “I love you too,” he said and backed away. “I didn’t think you were there yet, but it’s on the list.” He reached for the nightstand and plopped down on his stomach, dildo still in hand, and he flipped through the pages of the notepad. “Now I can cross it off. That’s always satisfying.”

  I rubbed a hand over my mouth and tried to withhold the laughter, but I fucking couldn’t. He was too much sometimes, in the best ways; there was an innocence in his behavior that I loved more than anything. It was reassuring and comforting, to be honest. He wasn’t the kind of man to play games or have hidden agendas.

  But yeah, I’d totally lost my hard-on.

  “Hon, I think we’re gonna have to get dirty another time.” I smirked and smacked him on his ass.

  “Nonsense. I’ll get you hard in a minute,” he said dismissively, returning the notepad to the nightstand. “You just need some Daddy-time and a big cock.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  Okay, that would work.

  A few weeks later

  I took a sip of my coffee and threw a cursory glance at Gideon’s phone, and I couldn’t believe it. I almost choked on my beverage.

  “How the fuck have you passed me already?” I asked incredulously.

  He raised a brow but never actually looked away from his screen. “Presumably because I’m better at this game than you are. It’s very easy.”

  The man did not know how to sugarcoat.

  He sniffled and kept playing, and I had to remind him to drink his coffee and eat his pastry. New York was covered in snow, and we’d taken shelter from the cold in a French pastry shop near Macy’s. Gideon had just survived a four-day man cold and didn’t need to get sick again. But since we were going to Nonna’s for Thanksgiving tomorrow—his first time meeting my whole family—he’d insisted we go out and buy something to bring them.

  “I struggled forever with that level.” I side-eyed him and his damn phone.

  “We all have our strengths and weaknesses, sweetheart.”

  I snorted and shook my head in amusement.

  All banter aside, downloading that game had helped him immensely. It’d started with his curiosity when I had bitched at a difficult level, and I’d ended up asking him for help. He’d crushed it in two minutes and then started playing too. And he said it was a perfect distraction for when his mind was too chaotic. He’d also come home to the apartment one day, sheepish as hell, and admitted that he’d lost track of time at lunch and played in his office when he was supposed to have been in a meeting.

  “Nailed it. Again.” He shut his phone and pocketed it with a satisfied smile. “When is Anthony due?”

  “Any minute, I guess.” My brother had texted when he’d gotten on the subway. He was the one with the original errand at Macy’s. Every Christmas, he gave Nonna her favorite perfume that could only be bought there, and he hated shopping closer to the holiday. He also didn’t have the patience for online shopping, which was a dumb excuse for the fact that he was bad with computers.

  Gideon had picked Macy’s and asked me to ask Anthony if we could meet up for coffee.

  My man wanted to make new friends, and he was so sweet about it. It was also possible he was still shell-shocked from meeting Ruby that he planned on latching on to the first option that wasn’t as wild as… Well, I couldn’t say it was just Ruby. It was more a combination of her and me together. Gideon was fascinated by her and found her “lovely,” but he couldn’t keep up.

  Either way, Anthony was a perfect candidate.

  “Can I try yours, please?” Gideon pointed his fork at my raspberry mousse pastry.

  “It wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be.” I slid the plate closer to him.

  He made a grimace when he tried it. “No. Too tart.”

  I ch
uckled.

  He held up a forkful of chocolate cake for me to try, and I closed my mouth around it.

  “Damn.” I chewed slowly, a bit overwhelmed by the sugar explosion. “Here, lemme try something.” With a little bit of mine and a little bit of his on the same fork, I fed him the combination, and his eyes lit up in approval. “Yeah?”

  He nodded. “Definitely.”

  “Oi, lovebirds.” Anthony appeared between the tables, looking sufficiently frazzled after a ride on the subway to the borough he hated.

  “Hey!” I grinned and kicked out his chair. “You ready for a day of shopping?”

  He raised his brows and shrugged out of his jacket. “Day? I’ll be in and out in ten minutes.”

  Kinda like Gideon this morning. He’d been feeling “too sick” to come with me for my walk, but joining me in the shower for a quickie was no problem. So, I had walked Chester, something I’d started doing the other week when we spent the night at Gideon’s place the first time.

  We were both in agreement that the studio was more for us; it was ours, in a sense, and he was ready to start fresh elsewhere. But when he had to work from home, I brought my ass up to the Upper East Side. Most of the time anyway. I spent the night at Anthony’s quite a bit too, ’cause work was busy right before the break, with all the recitals and so on.

  Anthony went up to the register and ordered coffee, and I leaned over and kissed Gideon’s cheek.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay. Anthony doesn’t make me nervous.”

  That wasn’t what I’d been referring to—I was thinking about his cold—but that was good. Our first “official” get-together had involved Anthony inviting us over for pizza and beer, and we’d ended up having a great time. We’d even spent the night there because we’d been buzzed.

  “Neither will Pop and Nonna after tomorrow,” I promised. Because I’d had a chat with both of them. Nothing big, I just wanted to make sure they’d go easy on the nosiness.