Molly's Journey

by Sheila Newberry

  ‘Rory, I – I’ve had some bad news. From home. I don’t want to talk about it, not now.’ She gave a little nod at Almond. ‘Where’s the bathroom? We both need a good wash and brush up!’

  *

  They sat for a while in Rory’s room, talking, after Almond was at last in bed and asleep. A firm tucking in by Rory seemed to do the trick.

  Molly told him about the letter, and finally the tears gushed forth. He reached out across the table, at which she had elected to sit instead of the sofa, and clasped her hand.

  ‘I’m here for you now, Molly,’ was all he said.

  When she had composed herself, she asked: ‘Are you sure Sarah is happy about you being here with us?’

  ‘No, she isn’t happy – how could she be? But, actually, it was her idea.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Molly faltered.

  ‘Don’t attempt to, not tonight. Why not go to bed now, get some sleep? We’ll sort things out properly tomorrow.’ He released her hand, stood up. ‘Goodnight, Molly.’

  She pushed back her chair. ‘Goodnight, Rory. And thank you for all this.’

  *

  Surprisingly, she fell asleep almost immediately, but she awoke in the early hours when her mind began to work feverishly. Almond already loved her father; he would shortly be married to Sarah. Together, they could surely provide a good and stable background. Could she make the ultimate sacrifice: give her beloved little girl up, in order that she could have two parents?

  ‘I can’t,’ she said aloud. ‘I can’t . . . ’

  She found herself out of bed, feeling her way across the room to the connecting door. ‘I’m here for you, now, Molly,’ he’d said, just a few hours ago.

  The handle turned, but the door would not open. Rory had locked it, on his side.

  *

  She dreamed that she was being kissed, lying back on her pillow; her face cupped by warm hands. She opened her eyes to blink at the brightness of late morning, catching her breath as she realised Rory was there, sitting on the edge of the bed. He leaned towards her, not touching, regarding her solemnly. His breath gently fanned her hair.

  ‘Did you kiss me?’ she asked. She pulled at the sheet, to cover her bare shoulders, her confusion. She had slid under the covers last night in her cotton petticoat, feeling too weary to rummage for her nightdress in the case.

  He straightened up. ‘Yes,’ he said simply. Then: ‘Almond woke much earlier. We had breakfast together, then my cousin’s wife took her off to give her a bath – at Almond’s insistence, by the way! You were really exhausted, weren’t you, after all that travelling? Changing trains, and trying to be cheerful after the shocking news you’d received, for Almond’s sake. You’ve had a good sleep?’

  ‘Hardly. I was awake most of the night. I don’t usually sleep through Almond’s alarm call! Did she knock you up?’

  ‘I heard movements from your room, so I opened my door to enquire if you were ready for breakfast when she burst in on me, all smiles, and said she was awfully hungry and Mummy wasn’t taking any notice so . . . ’

  ‘You decided to let me sleep on. I wanted to talk to you in the early hours, Rory. I tried your door, but you’d locked it.’ Whatever would he think of her now? she wondered.

  ‘Only because I wasn’t sure I could trust myself,’ he admitted. ‘I didn’t want to jump the gun again. What about you?’ he suddenly challenged her.

  ‘Me?’

  ‘When we last met, you told me you were sure I was still in love with you. Well, unless I read the signals wrongly, it’s the same for you, isn’t it?’

  ‘Oh, Rory.’ She sat up abruptly, revealing what had been concealed; the taut swell of her bosom visible through fine cotton, as she endeavoured to control her agitated breathing.

  ‘I had it all planned. The licence for the wedding – our wedding, Molly, arranged for three days’ time. Sarah told me plainly that was what I should do. Giving me up gracefully, she said, but she wasn’t going to give up caring for my mother. As for caring, she felt she must break Nancy’s confidence, make me really aware of all you had to go through when Almond was born; how you were determined to make out on the stage by yourself and succeeded until you decided that Almond and Alexa needed you more.

  ‘This won’t be a shot-gun affair as it would have been the last time I urged you to marry me – we were both too immature then, weren’t we? It would never have worked. But after the shock of hearing about Alexa, well, naturally I’ll understand if you want to wait a while.’

  ‘Alexa wouldn’t agree, Rory. I’m sure this is what she was hoping for: that you would still be free to marry me; why she insisted I should return here. She’d tell me to stop prevaricating, if I loved you, and—’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I wasn’t sure, you know, when I said I was, in Madrid, when we made love when we were both so upset.’

  ‘You are prevaricating!’

  ‘Well, I am sure now. I love you, Rory Kelly, and I’ve been in turmoil ever since I realised that, believing it was too late. But now it’s amazing – and three days will seem an eternity, so kiss me properly this time, even though I’m not decently clad, then I’ll know I’m not dreaming.’

  ‘Well, I suppose if it stops you babbling and getting all overexcited,’ he said firmly, proving the point in a most satisfactory manner.

  ‘Jumping the gun,’ she murmured at last, arms still tight around his neck. ‘More like launching myself off a trapeze, whizzing through space and trusting you to catch me by my toes!’

  ‘Strange you should say that – since you came back into my life again, I keep thinking constantly about the circus, remembering what a great time we had . . . ’

  ‘I’ve still got my pink tights, holes and all,’ she said.

  NINE

  ‘Telegraph came through for you,’ Mrs Mac told Nancy. ‘From your friend. Like you, my dear, she hasn’t wasted any time since she came back here.’

  Nancy, pale and puffy-eyed, having shed many tears for Alexa, read the message there and then, thinking wryly there wasn’t much point in finding somewhere more private, if Mrs Mac already knew the content.

  MR & MRS ARTHUR GRAY.

  HAPPIER NEWS. MARRY RORY

  THURSDAY

  LETTER FOLLOWS. LOVE WE THREE.

  MOLLY.

  ‘Don’t forget your groceries,’ Mrs Mac reminded her, as Nancy turned to go. The stores door had hardly closed behind her, when the shopkeeper confided in the next lady customer: ‘And that won’t be the last of the surprises, I reckon . . . ’

  Art popped in at the house each lunchtime to make sure she was all right, following the distressing news from England. Nancy found him rummaging in the cupboard for something to eat.

  ‘Sorry, Art,’ she said breathlessly, ‘but I remembered we had run out of sugar and were almost out of tea, so I ran down to the stores, and Mrs Mac had just received this along the wires – look!’

  ‘Now you can manage a smile again, can’t you?’ he said. ‘That’s really good news.’

  ‘Alexa would have been so pleased; I just feel, she knows.’ said Nancy. ‘And, Art, I’m almost sure – well, I am ’cause I’ve never been this late before – but I hope it’s not too much of a shock, and I’m still going to study and be a teacher some day, I’ve made my mind up on that . . . and we’re going to have a baby, Art. Isn’t that the best news of all?’ Wasn’t that just what Alexa had hoped for her? And they wouldn’t need to worry whether they could afford it, for she had made that possible, too, with her legacy. As one soul departs, a new one takes its place, Nancy thought.

  Then he was whooping just like the old full-of-fun Art she’d fallen for in London; lifting her off her feet and whirling her round and kissing her all at the same time. ‘Now, you’ll have to make me a meat pud, to celebrate, eh?’

  *

  Molly couldn’t help feeling nervous later that day as Rory opened the door of his mother’s house and ushered them in. ‘Sarah, we’re here!’ he
called out.

  She appeared instantly from the kitchen, and Molly’s fears evaporated: Sarah’s arms went round her and hugged her warmly. ‘Molly dear – Almond – I’m so glad to see you both again; Serena is waiting in the sitting room, all dressed up for the occasion. Go straight in there! I’ll bring the tea.’

  She’s keeping busy, Molly thought, her heart going out to her. She’s determined not to show how she really feels. It’s thanks to Sarah, her generous spirit, that Rory and Almond and I are about to become a real family.

  ‘Here they are, Mum,’ Rory said proudly.

  ‘You’ve got the ring on the right finger at last,’ Serena observed. ‘It’s all turned out for the best: you’ve got each other, and about time, too. And Sarah, dear girl, has promised not to desert me.’

  Sitting beside Serena on the sofa, and squeezing her hand, Molly said quietly: ‘We owe her a lot, Serena.’

  ‘You do indeed. But I’m not averse to matchmaking, as you know. Remember I’ve another unmarried son, even if he’s mostly burrowing into dark places searching for all that glitters – I tell myself Sam’ll have to come up for air one day, eh? Now, Almond, are you going to sit without too much fidgetting on my lap? I wonder, I just might have a surprise for you, in my pocket . . . ’

  As they drank their tea and ate slices of soft lemon sponge oozing with sweet, buttery fresh-made curd, Sarah asked Molly: ‘Will you allow us to have Almond for a couple of days – Thursday and Friday? I promise we’ll take great care of her. She could sleep in my room with me. You’ll want a little time to yourselves, that’s for sure.’

  Molly’s eyes were misting again. What could she say except a heartfelt: ‘Thank you, Sarah.’

  *

  It was a civil ceremony, but they both wanted a church blessing later. Molly wore her blue outfit, because Alexa had chosen it with her, and Almond was in the gingham she had worn for Nancy’s wedding just a short while before. Sarah had washed and ironed both sets of clothes for them.

  Sarah and Serena, who had been determined to make the effort to be there, despite her disabilities, were the witnesses.

  Rory’s hair was newly cut; he wore a smart, unfamiliar suit. The wedding ring he slid on Molly’s finger was fashioned from Kimberley gold. There was no music, no singing, but plenty of flowers and smiling faces.

  Back at the hotel, Rory’s relatives laid on a special lunch of several courses, but Molly couldn’t have said afterwards what she had eaten, if anything, apart from a sweet meringue filled with fresh cream, which she shared with Almond. It all seemed surreal, as if she was drifting in one of her dreams.

  She hugged and kissed her daughter and told her to be good for her grandma and Sarah. Almond was impatient to be gone now. She had been promised some surprises back at Serena’s. She couldn’t understand why her mother was blubbing when it was supposed to be a happy day.

  ‘ ’Bye, Mummy!’ she said. ‘See you Saturday!’

  ‘It’s all right, Molly, really it is,’ Sarah whispered, for her ears only. ‘Don’t worry about Almond – we’ll spoil her between us, of course.’

  ‘Thank you, Sarah, for everything,’ Molly whispered back.

  ‘Serena’s flagging a bit, bless her, better go,’ the other girl said, and turned quickly before Molly could tell from her eyes how she really felt.

  *

  The maid had turned down the double bed. Molly undressed in the room she had shared with Almond, gave her hair a perfunctory brush, slipped into the exotically embroidered silk wrapper which was Rory’s wedding gift to her.

  She rattled the knob on the connecting door.

  ‘It’s open tonight!’ he called.

  ‘Do I meet with your approval?’ she asked, indicating the wrapper. ‘It’s lovely, Rory, you couldn’t have chosen anything nicer.’

  ‘I do approve – though I see you’ve had to roll the sleeves up. And I’m really pleased with my slippers, too.’

  ‘I bought them at Alexa’s shop, before it closed. I wondered why afterwards.’ They were too small for Matthew, she thought, blushing, so I tucked them away, ‘just in case’. She concluded lamely: ‘But I suppose I kept them for you. Rory—’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘Turn your back for a moment, will you? Don’t ask why!’

  ‘Can Molly Sparkes-as-was actually be feeling shy?’ he mocked fondly, as she checked that the edges of the silk had not parted. But he turned tactfully as she requested. Quickly, she draped the silk wrapper over the back of a chair, then almost leapt into the high bed.

  Rory regarded her; just her face visible over the fold of the linen sheet. ‘You look as if you’re ready to go to sleep,’ he joked. ‘Would you like me to turn out the light?’ he added.

  ‘Please,’ she said demurely. Then she giggled. ‘I didn’t know you wore nightshirts – ‘specially red and white stripes.’

  ‘There’s a great deal you’ll find out shortly, no doubt.’

  ‘Nothing to what you’ll discover about me,’ Molly said airily, anticipating his reaction, but wondering belatedly if she’d been too rash.

  They were both under the covers now, the curtains at the window effectively shutting out any vestige of light.

  Molly touched his shoulder. ‘You’re all trembly,’ she said softly. ‘But then, so am I. Put your arms round me, Rory, so I know I’m here, and you’re here. Besides, I’m cold – I need warming up.’

  ‘What are you wearing, Molly?’ he asked as he obediently cuddled her close. She could picture his look of incredulity as the truth dawned.

  ‘Not much,’ she admitted. ‘Well, actually, nothing at all. Sorry! As always I acted on impulse. I hope you don’t mind, as you’re covered in that thick flannel?’

  ‘I didn’t—’

  ‘Want to jump the gun?’

  ‘Want to take too much for granted. I suppose I didn’t give you a chance to think twice about marrying me, after all.’

  ‘You’re not going to worry about that all night, are you, Rory Kelly? D’you want me as I am, or what?’

  ‘As you are now,’ he said simply.

  *

  ‘What fools we were, parting like that,’ he said, next morning. He very gently traced the outline of the scar on her stomach. ‘Remember what one night of passion can do.’

  ‘I don’t care, I love you! If it happens, well, it happens, Rory Kelly.’

  ‘Sarah would advise you, I know. Not from experience, of course, but because she’s a nurse. Will you talk to her, Molly?’ he suggested diffidently.

  ‘I might. Nothing – happened between you two, then? Oh, I wouldn’t blame you, darling Rory, if it had. I’ve no right to do that.’

  ‘Nothing happened. I’m not saying I wasn’t tempted but I channelled all my energy into digging pits and gem seeking,’ he said ruefully. ‘Which reminds me, I can’t expect you and Almond to join me in that way of life. And I can’t expect you to stay here, living with my mother and Sarah, waiting for me to come back, now and then; it just wouldn’t be fair. This is one thing we haven’t discussed, isn’t it? Suppose you had been thinking I would come back with you to the old country—’

  ‘Suppose I did want that: would you agree?’

  ‘Yes, if it made you happy. That’s all that matters to me now.’

  ‘Well, I feel exactly the same. Being with you, sharing Almond with you, is all I want. Now that Alexa has gone, I am in no hurry to go back. Let’s go and see Cora and Thom – find out if there is any possibility of us teaming up with them again.’

  ‘What about Almond?’ he reminded her.

  ‘She’ll take to it like a duck to water – look who her parents are!’

  ‘Well, as long as you don’t get pregnant again too quickly.’

  ‘Rory, Alexa gave me a bit of advice after Almond, in case I ever, you know, needed it in the future. Not that I ever put it into practice; after what you said about you and Sarah, I want you to know that – I wasn’t going to say – but I did remember it last night.’
/>
  ‘Just one thing,’ he said, lifting the strands of hair clinging round her neck. ‘No short haircuts, no more Monty.’

  ‘Just Kelly and Sparkes,’ she said happily.

  *

  ‘I must write to Matthew,’ she told Rory, before they left for Adelaide, to meet up with Thom and Cora. ‘He must wonder why he hasn’t heard from me, after all.’

  He looked at her in a speculative way. ‘I know you grew fond of him, having cared for his daughter – as I did of Sarah who cared for my mother. You had so much in common – did he hope for more, d’you think?’

  ‘Yes, I know he did. Alexa would have liked that, too, but she also knew, better than I did, where I would eventually find fulfilment and contentment. He’s so nice, Rory, I hope he doesn’t feel I’ve let him down.’

  ‘It seems to me from his letter that what he most wanted for you was your happiness, Molly. Yes, write to him, you owe him that. Do it now, while you think of it.’

  ‘I’ll show you the letter,’ she offered.

  ‘I trust you, Molly, no need for that,’ he said. ‘I’d better go and relieve poor Mother of entertaining our little Almond.’

  Dear Matthew,

  The news from you came as a great shock, as you can imagine. The letter from Alexa meant so much in those sad circumstances. I will never, ever forget her and all she did for me over the years. I was privileged to know her and will miss her so much.

  Your letter, too, is one I shall always treasure. You and Fay are very special to me, and to Almond. I believe you will understand and be happy for us when you hear that Rory and I have married; I really know my own mind at long last.

  We are staying out here in Australia: rejoining the circus – it is all such a challenge, and so exciting. One day, dear Matthew, I know we will see each other again. Wherever I am, I promise I will always keep in touch – you will certainly add to your postcard collection!