Quo Vadis: A Narrative of the Time of Nero

by Henryk Sienkiewicz

  Chapter XVIII

  PETRONIUS to VINICIUS:

  "Thy case is a bad one, carissime. It is clear that Venus has disturbedthy mind, deprived thee of reason and memory, as well as the power tothink of aught else except love. Read some time thy answer to my letter,and thou wilt see how indifferent thy mind is to all except Lygia; howexclusively it is occupied with her, how it returns to her always, andcircles above her, as a falcon above chosen prey. By Pollux! find herquickly, or that of thee which fire has not turned into ashes willbecome an Egyptian sphinx, which, enamored, as 'tis said, of pale Isis,grew deaf and indifferent to all things, waiting only for night, so asto gaze with stony eyes at the loved one.

  "Run disguised through the city in the evening, even honor Christianhouses of prayer in thy philosopher's company. Whatever excites hopeand kills time is praiseworthy. But for my friendship's sake do this onething: Ursus, Lygia's slave, is a man of uncommon strength very likely;hire Croton, and go out three together; that will be safer and wiser.The Christians, since Pomponia and Lygia belong to them, are surely notsuch scoundrels as most people imagine. But when a lamb of their flockis in question they are no triflers, as they have shown by carrying awayLygia. When thou seest Lygia thou wilt not restrain thyself, I amsure, and wilt try to bear her away on the spot. But how wilt thou andChilonides do it? Croton would take care of himself, even though tenlike Ursus defended the maiden. Be not plundered by Chilo, but be notsparing of money on Croton. Of all counsels which I can give this is thebest one.

  "Here they have ceased to speak of the infant Augusta, or to say thatshe perished through witchcraft. Poppaea mentions her at times yet; butCaesar's mind is stuffed with something else. Moreover, if it be truethat the divine Augusta is in a changed state again, the memory of thatchild will be blown away without trace. We have been in Naples for somedays, or rather in Baiae. If thou art capable of any thought, echoes ofour life must strike thy ear, for surely Rome talks of naught else. Wewent directly to Baiae, where at first memories of the mother attackedus, and reproaches of conscience. But dost thou know to what Ahenobarbushas gone already? To this, that for him even the murder of his mother isa mere theme for verses, and a reason for buffoonish tragic scenes.

  "Formerly he felt real reproaches only in so far as he was a coward;now, when he is convinced that the earth is under his feet as before,and that no god is taking vengeance, he feigns them only to move peopleby his fate. He springs up at night sometimes declaring that the Furiesare hunting him; he rouses us, looks around, assumes the posture of anactor playing the role of Orestes, and the posture of a bad actor too;he declaims Greek verses, and looks to see if we are admiring him. Weadmire him apparently; and instead of saying to him, Go to sleep, thoubuffoon! we bring ourselves also to the tone of tragedy, and protect thegreat artist from the Furies. By Castor! this news at least must havereached thee, that he has appeared in public at Naples. They drove infrom the city and the surrounding towns all the Greek ruffians, whofilled the arena with such a vile odor of sweat and garlic that I thankthe gods that, instead of sitting in the first rows with the Augustians,I was behind the scenes with Ahenobarbus. And wilt thou believe it, hewas afraid really! He took my hand and put it to his heart, which wasbeating with increased pulsation; his breath was short; and at themoment when he had to appear he grew as pale as a parchment, and hisforehead was covered with drops of sweat. Still he saw that in every rowof seats were pretorians, armed with clubs, to rouse enthusiasm if theneed came. But there was no need. No herd of monkeys from the environsof Carthage could howl as did this rabble. I tell thee that the smell ofgarlic came to the stage; but Nero bowed, pressed his hand to his heart,sent kisses from his lips, and shed tears. Then he rushed in among us,who were waiting behind the scenes, like a drunken man, crying, 'Whatwere the triumphs of Julius compared with this triumph of mine?' But therabble was howling yet and applauding, knowing that it would applaud toitself favors, gifts, banquets, lottery tickets, and a fresh exhibitionby the Imperial buffoon. I do not wonder that they applauded, for such asight had not been seen till that evening. And every moment he repeated:'See what the Greeks are! see what the Greeks are!' From that eveningit has seemed to me that his hatred for Rome is increasing. Meanwhilespecial couriers were hurried to Rome announcing the triumph, and weexpect thanks from the Senate one of these days. Immediately afterNero's first exhibition, a strange event happened here. The theatre fellin on a sudden, but just after the audience had gone. I was there, anddid not see even one corpse taken from the ruins. Many, even among theGreeks, see in this event the anger of the gods, because the dignity ofCaesar was disgraced; he, on the contrary, finds in it favor of thegods, who have his song, and those who listen to it, under their evidentprotection. Hence there are offerings in all the temples, and greatthanks. For Nero it is a great encouragement to make the journey toAchaea. A few days since he told me, however, that he had doubts as towhat the Roman people might say; that they might revolt out of love forhim, and fear touching the distribution of grain and touching the games,which might fail them in case of his prolonged absence.

  "We are going, however, to Beneventum to look at the cobblermagnificence which Vatinius will exhibit, and thence to Greece, underthe protection of the divine brothers of Helen. As to me, I have notedone thing, that when a man is among the mad he grows mad himself,and, what is more, finds a certain charm in mad pranks. Greece and thejourney in a thousand ships; a kind of triumphal advance of Bacchusamong nymphs and bacchantes crowned with myrtle, vine, and honeysuckle;there will be women in tiger skins harnessed to chariots; flowers,thyrses, garlands, shouts of 'Evoe!' music, poetry, and applaudingHellas. All this is well; but we cherish besides more daring projects.We wish to create a species of Oriental Imperium,--an empire ofpalm-trees, sunshine, poetry, and reality turned into a dream, realityturned into the delight of life only. We want to forget Rome; to fix thebalancing point of the world somewhere between Greece, Asia, and Egypt;to live the life not of men but of gods; not to know what commonness is;to wander in golden galleys under the shadow of purple sails along theArchipelago; to be Apollo, Osiris, and Baal in one person; to be rosywith the dawn, golden with the sun, silver with the moon; to command,to sing, to dream. And wilt thou believe that I, who have still soundjudgment to the value of a sestertium, and sense to the value of anas, let myself be borne away by these fantasies, and I do this for thereason that, if they are not possible, they are at least grandiose anduncommon? Such a fabulous empire would be a thing which, some time orother, after long ages, would seem a dream to mankind. Except whenVenus takes the form of Lygia, or even of a slave Eunice, or when artbeautifies it, life itself is empty, and many a time it has the faceof a monkey. But Bronzebeard will not realize his plans, even for thiscause, that in his fabulous kingdom of poetry and the Orient no place isgiven to treason, meanness, and death; and that in him with the posesof a poet sits a wretched comedian, a dull charioteer, and a frivoloustyrant. Meanwhile we are killing people whenever they displease us inany way. Poor Torquatus Silanus is now a shade; he opened his veins afew days since. Lecanius and Licinus will enter on the consulate withterror. Old Thrasea will not escape death, for he dares to be honest.Tigellinus is not able yet to frame a command for me to open my veins.I am still needed not only as elegantiae arbiter, but as a man withoutwhose counsel and taste the expedition to Achaea might fail. More thanonce, however, I think that sooner or later it must end in opening myveins; and knowest thou what the question will be then with me?--thatBronzebeard should not get my goblet, which thou knowest and admirest.Shouldst thou be near at the moment of my death, I will give it to thee;shouldst thou be at a distance, I will break it. But meanwhile I havebefore me yet Beneventum of the cobblers and Olympian Greece; I haveFate too, which, unknown and unforeseen, points out the road to everyone.

  "Be well, and engage Croton; otherwise they will snatch Lygia from theea second time. When Chilonides ceases to be needful, send him to mewherever I may be. Perhaps I shall make him a second Vatinius, andconsuls an
d senators may tremble before him yet, as they trembled beforethat knight Dratevka. It would be worth while to live to see such aspectacle. When thou hast found Lygia, let me know, so that I may offerfor you both a pair of swans and a pair of doves in the round temple ofVenus here. Once I saw Lygia in a dream, sitting on thy knee, seekingthy kisses. Try to make that dream prophetic. May there be no clouds onthy sky; or if there be, let them have the color and the odor of roses!Be in good health; and farewell!"