by Posey Parks
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
NADINE
Back and forth, Fran paced in the living room burning a hole in my expensive blue, gray Persian rug. She bit her nails as she damn near hyperventilated.
Legs crossed on the new light blue sofa, I glared at her. “Fran, you have to calm down. I will pour us each a glass of red wine.”
She nodded continuing to pace in her red bottoms.
I kept my eye on Fran from the open kitchen. Fran came over mid-morning because she knew Anthony was in school. Chloe is no longer employed by me. Cruz works for me part-time. He sees Anthony off to school in the morning and when he returns home. My neighbors think Cruz is my husband. I let them think what they want. I neither confirm nor deny. Cruz has kept Anthony and I safe for fourteen years. I can’t believe it’s been that long. Cruz and I taught Anthony how to defend himself and how to use a gun. We can never be too careful. My son is a natural when it comes to shooting a gun. What can I say, Tony Magarelli’s blood is pumping through his veins.
My family love’s Anthony. They enjoy having him over for the weekend. If it were up to my dad, he would have Anthony and I live with him and my mom.
I turned my attention to the beautiful, fluffy snow falling from the sky, piling high in my front yard. I love the snow. I blushed as I poured Fran and I a large glass of red wine. That beautiful December Tony and I made Anthony, played on repeat every year around the holidays. The best fucking Christmas holiday ever. There hasn’t been a man to hold a candle to Tony.
Nathan tried. Two years later, I had to let him go. I told him I wasn’t ready. He fell in love with me, anyway. I crushed that man’s heart. I probably damaged him. He may not be any good to other women. Any time our eyes met before or after I went into surgery, he gave me the puppy dog stare. I’ve given in to him a few times since then. However, for the past couple of years I’ve steered clear. I had to admit to myself; I was doing more of a disservice than a service to Nathan. Luckily, he’s not attending the medical conference in L.A. next month. He would be banging on my hotel door every night. I’ve only had sex with three men in my life. Wait, four if you count Mr. Big. I haven’t had sex with anyone in two years, except Mr. Big. The best vibrator a woman can buy. I’ll need to upgrade Mr. Big soon. I’ve been wearing him out lately. Mr. Big gets me off without all the relationship, marriage talk. He works his magic, then I’m sleeping like a baby. My lip curled as I sipped the delicious glass of wine.
“Nadine! Nadine!” Fran slammed her palm against the counter.
My wide eyes met her glaring ones.
“Yes, Fran!”
“We need to talk this out.”
I pushed the wine glass in her direction. She brought the glass to her lips, gulping down half the contents.
Sitting the glass on the counter, she hovered. “Sergio is on a war path. He will not rest until he murders anyone he thinks killed his brother,” she stated through clenched teeth.
“I believe it. Your husband is ruthless. I don’t think he would hurt you, Fran.”
“Oh no?” she snarled. “I took his precious son away from him. He won’t forgive me.”
I threw my hands up. “Fran, I think you are jumping the gun right now. It is apparent there were no witnesses because if there was, someone would have come forward by now.”
She paced again. “I don’t know. Sergio is tossing a lot of money at the problem. Someone is bound to talk.”
I stepped around the counter, placing my hands on her arms. “Fran, Tony and Dillon are dead. Even if Sergio figures out who killed Mickey, it won’t bring Tony and Dillon back.”
She sighed, dropping her head. “You’re right.”
“If he finds out who committed the murder and Dillon witnessed it, doesn’t change the fact that Dillon isn’t here anymore. Unfortunately, once he finds out who murdered his brother, war is coming.” My brows rustled together.
“Yeah, it is.” Fran sat on the sofa.
I sat at her side. “Don’t crack Fran. Whatever you do. You are protecting Dillon.”
“I won’t.” She rubbed her hands. “I never mentioned I flew to Portland a couple of times. I watched Dillon from afar.” She smiled bright. “He turned into a wonderful man. I hate I can’t touch him, hold him, tell him I love him.”
I folded my arms staring at her in disbelief. “You knew where they were this whole time, Fran?!”
“No, I only know where Dillon is because of the family I paid to take care of him. Tony will not tell me where he lives. He said it is better that way. I wire his money to an offshore account every month. He is still making the withdrawals. Which means he is still watching out for my son.
“You talked to him?” I grimaced.
“Only after he arrived in Portland. He only keeps in contact with Dillon. That is the way it is meant to be.”
What was I going to do if she did have contact with Tony? Call him up and talk to him on the phone. It doesn’t matter anymore. It is over. In the back of my mind I think about him telling me he wanted to live in L.A. Part of me wants to search the entire town upon arrival until I find him. Nadine, get it together. You will never see Tony again. I pushed the thought from my mind.
“Fran, you need another glass of wine.” I ran into the kitchen.
TONY
The hotel lobby was filled with distinguished doctors. Doctors were huddled in corners throughout the large lobby, accompanied by reporters jamming mini recorders in their faces holding interviews. Sitting in the mustard colored tall back chair, I glanced down at my black Oxfords resting on the royal blue and mustard swirled carpet.
I never get nervous but this time I was nervous. I kept my favorite picture of Nadine in my wallet. Every chance I get, I steal a glimpse of her on social media. Why am I holding a torch for the one woman I can’t be with? I’m dead. We could never be seen together in public or I’d risk all the hard work Francine, Dillon, and I worked for. So why the fuck was I here? It was nothing like seeing her face in person. All I need was one glimpse of her strutting across the lobby, then I’d leave. Give it up, Tone. Shut this fourteen-year fantasy down.
I emerged from the chair. I’m out of here. This wasn’t a good idea. Sweat dripped from my brow as I strolled across the air-conditioned lobby toward the door. My thick fingers smoothed my slender brown brows as my eyes closed briefly. My body collided with a smaller soft frame. My eyes popped open.
“Excuse you…” Her angry eyes turned sad in less than a second.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I bent down, retrieving her cell phone off the floor, placing it within her soft grip.
A smile curled my lips. “It’s good to see you, Nadine.”
She folded her arms, still shooting daggers in my direction. We didn’t move. I stood there letting her angry eyes rake over me. The hotel guests bustled around us.
“You look amazing in person!” My eyebrows rose. “I didn’t mean to say that.” I ran my hand along the back of my neck. What the fuck is wrong with me today?
A tiny smile formed across her lips. “You’ve been stalking me on social media?” Her hand fell against her hip. “What’s your user name?”
“I ain’t telling.”
Laughter erupted from her petite frame. “So not only did you pay for my tuition while I was in college, you stalked me online.”
“Hey, I enjoy seeing you do well in your life Dr. Barlow.” I grinned.
Her jet-black hair swayed against her shoulders when she laughed.
She was still as beautiful as the day I met her. Thirty-three looked damn good on her. She looked about twenty-five.
“Thank you, Anthony. I mean it. Thank you for everything. I hated not being able to see you again. I should have known you would move to California. You always talked about it. Wait, you do live here, right?” Her eyes widened.
“Yes.”
“I doubt you intended to bump into me. Did you plan to talk to me?”
I ran my hand over my
full brown beard. “No.” Our sad eyes met.
Her eyebrows rustled together. She smoothed her free hand over her short green skirt.
“It was good seeing you, Tony.” Nadine began walking past me. I grabbed her arm, gaining her attention.
“Why aren’t you married with a family?”
She shrugged her arm out of my grasp. Her eyes closed momentarily. Those dark oval eyes gazed back into my blue eyes. “I couldn’t move on.” She pointed her finger at her chest. “The love of my life died. I was a little too fucked up. I buried my sappy thoughts into my medical books.”
“Hey, come here.” I pulled her into my arms.
Nadine’s petite body shivered against my hard frame. “That postcard sent me over the edge, Tony.”
My big arms shielded her from the wavering eyes around us. It was like we blinked and we’re in love again.
She pulled her wet face from my blue dress shirt, staring up at me. My thick padded thumbs stroked the wet tears from her beautiful chocolate face. “You waited until you left to tell me you loved me.” Her fingers dug into my abs.
“I have to go. I need to clean myself up before my speech on premature births.”
Nadine walked away, disappearing into a sea of doctors headed toward the conference rooms.
The corner of my mouth turned up a bit. She’s been in love with me all these years.
NADINE
I’ve practiced my speech on premature birth’s a thousand times before arriving in L.A. Anthony is staying with my parents while I’m out of town. The car service halted outside the beautiful glass front hotel.
“We are here. I will grab your luggage.”
“Thank you.”
The chauffer hopped out of the car, walking to the trunk.
Climbing out of the car, I took in my surroundings. The tree-lined streets bustled with people walking, riding bikes, and driving expensive cars.
“Ms. Barlow, enjoy your stay in L.A.” The chauffer smiled.
“Thank you. I will.” I grabbed the handle of my suitcase walking toward the building.
A hotel employee approached. “I can take your luggage. I will leave it at the front desk. Once you’ve checked in, we will take your luggage to your room.”
I smiled bright. “Thank you.” I handed off my luggage to the hotel attendant.
My cell buzzed as I pushed my way through the revolving door. I glanced down at the message from a nurse at my practice.
Baby Abigail isn’t keeping down any food. Do you think we should run additional tests?
I typed and walking, coming to an abrupt halt.
“Excuse you…” My angry eyes turned sad in less than a second.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He bent down, retrieving my cell phone off the floor, placing it in my hand.
A smile curled the sexiest lips I ever seen in my existence.
“It’s good to see you Nadine.”
I couldn’t believe it was him. After all these years. I didn’t know how to feel. Butterflies fluttered in my tummy. I was curious. Why was he here? Nothing is a coincidence when it comes to Anthony Magarelli.
I folded my arms, shooting spears in his direction. We didn’t move. My angry eyes raked over his sexy body. Not sure how a man like Tony could get even sexier over time. I mean shit, the muscles are rippling under his blue dress shirt that is folded right under his elbow. Those forearms, I remember gripping them tight when I rode his large cock to ecstasy. Tony’s face is chiseled out of stone. His eyebrows are thicker yet defined. He’s still rocking that sexy full beard and spiked hair. I’m sure he dyed his hair brown to keep a low profile. Those gorgeous sea-like blue eyes are full of darkness and sadness.
Fuck, I can’t do this. The hotel guests bustled around us.
“You look amazing in person!” His eyebrows rose. “I didn’t mean to say that.” He ran his hand along the back of his neck.
A tiny smile formed across my lips. He still loves me. “You’ve been stalking me on social media?” My hand fell against my hip. “What’s your user name?”
“I ain’t telling.”
Laughter erupted from deep within. “So not only did you pay my tuition while I was in college, you stalked me online.”
“Hey, I enjoy seeing you do well in your life, Dr. Barlow.” He grinned.
That grin is drenching my panties.
“Thank you, Anthony. I mean it. Thank you for everything. I hated not being able to see you again. I should have known you would move to California. You always talked about it. Wait, you do live here, right?” My eyes widened.
“Yes.”
What if he only planned to see me from a distance?
“I doubt you intended to bump into me. Did you plan to talk to me?”
His smile dropped. He ran his large hand over his full brown beard. “No.”
Our sad eyes met.
My jet-black eyebrows rustled together. I smoothed my free hand over my short green skirt.
Fuck, he really never planned to talk to me.
“It was good seeing you, Tony.” I began walking past him. He grabbed my arm, gaining my attention.
“Why aren’t you married with a family?”
I shrugged my arm out of his grasp. My eyes closed momentarily. I then gazed into his blue eyes. “I couldn’t move on.” I pointed my finger at my chest.
Fourteen years of hurt hung like a two-hundred-pound weight between us. “The love of my life died. I was a little too fucked up. I buried my sappy thoughts into my medical books.”
“Hey, come here.” He pulled me into his arms.
The arms I longed to hold me every night, now surrounded me. I felt safe and protected like so many times before.
My petite body shivered against his huge hard frame. “That postcard sent me over the edge Tony.”
My heart aches for him. As much as I need him, I realize we can’t move forward. He’s dead.
I pulled my wet face from his blue dress shirt staring up at him. His thick padded thumbs stroked the wet tears from my face.
His touch sent shivers down my spine. I am still broken. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, I will never heal. “You waited until you left to tell me you loved me.” My fingers dug into his tight, rigid abs.
“I have to go. I need to clean myself up before my speech on premature births.”
I walked away, never looking back. Maybe this was the closure we needed. Swallowed into a sea of doctors, I disappeared into the crowded restroom. I grabbed a handful of paper towels before dipping into a stall. I sobbed for about fifteen minutes. I needed to pull myself together. I have to check in, then make my speech.
Nadine you can do this. You have to move on with your life. I broke down crying two more times before touching up my makeup and vacating the restroom.
~
Standing at the podium, I uploaded my presentation on my laptop, then checked the projector screen to make sure my information was visible. Doctors spilled into the medium sized conference room.
“Nadine, are you ready?” The tall, stalky doctor strolled over.
I smiled. “Yes, Stephen, I am.” His gray eyes smiled back. His short blond hair was perfectly cut. He has a nice build. Stephen transferred from Chicago Lakeside Hospital to St. Michaels in Newark. Dr. Stephen Rackshaw works with critically ill children in a special wing of the hospital where we met. I was making rounds visiting two premature babies I recently delivered. He was monitoring one of his patients, then we began chatting. Sometimes we have lunch together at the hospital. We have a professional relationship. I get the sense he is interested but he’s never asked for my phone number. I steer our conversations in the medical direction when he ventures off into personal questions, like what do I like to do outside of work? I smile then talk about my practice. He’s handsome but I’ve been keeping him at a distance.
“Nadine, a bunch of us are going to dinner later. Would you like to join us?” He ran his hand over his expensive
gray tie.
I need to get my mind off of Tony. “Yes, sure.”
“Great! I will settle everyone down so you can begin your presentation.” He flashed a sexy grin.
“Thank you.”
After the long presentation, I looked forward to a drink. Stephen and I talked about our recent patients while we gathered my belongings. The room fell quiet. I noticed we were the last doctors in the room. I laughed at Stephen’s story as we stepped into the hall. Immediately my eyes met Tony’s. This can’t happen again. I have nothing more to say to him.
TONY
I sat outside the conference room scrolling through potential vintage cars I might buy and restore. I couldn’t leave. I needed to be in her presence.
Laughter and chatter spilled through the doors into the long natural hallway. Nadine and a stocky blond-haired male were the last to leave the room. They were in the midst of a conversation. Rising to my feet, I stepped in their direction.
Nadine’s wide eyes met mine. “Tony, you’re still here.”
I glanced at her, then at the man standing next to her. “Yes.”
My hand extended in his direction. “Hello. My name is Tony DeRosa.” I smiled.
“Dr. Stephen Rackshaw.” His cocky smile told me he wasn’t threatened.
“How is the conference going so far?” I asked.
“Very well. We have a few more meetings over the next few days.” He stole a glance at Nadine.
“Are you in the medical field?” Stephen asked.
“No, I work for celebrities. You know, keeping them safe.”
He chuckled. “Which celebrities do you protect?”
“Jacob and Samantha Latters’.” I glanced at Nadine’s worried face then back at Stephens perfectly symmetrical face.
“Is Jacob Latters difficult to work for?”
