by Robin Falcon
I was standing by my locker on the first day of school and I saw Ryder walking down the sophomore hall, clearly looking for me.
I smiled at her.
She made eye contact with me and grinned before starting her way towards me. However, when she was only about ten feet away, she noticed the two girls standing with me, and walked right passed me instead.
I knew that look in her eyes, as she avoided my gaze and walked by. It was the same look she gave me when my parents bought me my BMX bike for my twelfth birthday, the one she’d been begging for.
She was jealous, but why?
I didn’t get a chance to chase her down, or set things straight, before the bell rang. So, instead I met up with her after class when I saw her by Tyson’s locker.
She ignored me as I walked up, talking to our friend Tyson about some tool in her last class like she didn’t even notice me yet.
It was obvious she was hesitant in accepting the growth of our social circle. Most of the guys still had girlfriend's from last year and, even though I wasn’t dating anyone, there were still girls that tried to hangout.
I couldn’t really blame Ryder for being uncomfortable with them. They sure didn’t waste time questioning my friendship with Ryder.
Plus, any of them that had interest in me weren't shy about letting me know they didn't like how close Ryder and I were. Not that I cared about what they thought.
In fact, right now, I didn’t care about much of anything. Not when I was too preoccupied with what I was overhearing Ryder mentioning to Tyson, and the other guys.
Apparently, some guy caught her attention in English literature class, and I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of her dating yet.
She was only a freshman, and I knew what went on in the minds of my male peers. I didn’t want her to get wrapped up in a relationship. Especially, one that would only hurt her in the end.
It was my job, as her friend, to protect her from the regret of a meaningless relationship. She deserved better than the tools our high school had to offer.
After fifth period, I finally caught up with Ryder while she was alone and we headed to meet up with the guys for lunch.
She blew off my attempt to find out what was bothering her and, like clockwork, I saw my friend Kara coming down the hall towards Ryder and I.
I swear, girls had to have some kind of sixth sense about when the guy they liked was around another girl.
As Kara passed, she grazed my arm and smiled.
I felt Ryder's eyes dart to me instantly.
“Who’s that?” She asked, and we kept walking.
“Kara, she’s one of the cheerleaders for our varsity team.”
Ryder only nodded.
I nudged her playfully. “Is my best friend jealous?” I grinned.
She rolled her eyes. “Unlikely, I pity her actually. She obviously has yet to endure a night of your obnoxious snoring.”
“You love when I snore. It helps you sleep.” I teased. “Plus, I could always have her sleepover and test out her true potential. You know, to see if she can handle it.” I laughed, but Ryder didn’t this time.
A few more girls offered me a smile as we rounded the corner to the cafeteria, then looked at Ryder in annoyance.
“You seem to have a lot of admirers, and it seems to be making me a lot of enemies.”
I laughed. “Any enemy of yours, is an enemy of mine.”
She smiled. “Am I supposed to feel honored?”
I stopped at the doors to the cafeteria, pulling Ryder off to the side with me, letting the busy traffic of students pass by us.
I wasn’t oblivious to all the eyes being cast towards us, and they weren’t all for me either. I wasn’t stupid, I'd heard the guys talking about her in class. Some making crude comments about her, and how they’d love to taste if she was as innocent as she looked.
I shut it down pretty quickly, at least with the guys in my grade, but I knew my pull didn’t reach the upper classmen. That’s what concerned me.
“What?” she questioned, letting me drag her away from the moving crowd.
“Are you going to be bothered by me dating?”
I’d been putting the question off all summer, and for the last few days. It was an awkward question, considering we were best friends, because it shouldn’t bother either of us if the other dated. Yet, jealousy was a well-kept secret between us.
We’d never been great about sharing the others time with anyone else. It was just newer to me since she’d been home schooled for so long.
She laughed. “I mean as long as she doesn’t try to give me a make over or demand we stop being friends, I’ll survive.”
I grinned. “Deal. I think I’m going to ask Kara out after school, but I wanted to make sure it wasn’t weird for you.”
Her smile faded. “Oh.”
“What?” I eyed her. “Do you not like her?”
“I don’t even know her, I’m sure she’s great.” She spoke softly, looking down at the ground.
I used my finger to nudge her chin up to look at me. “Don't make me embarrass you,” I warned. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She shot me a glare. “Don’t you dare, I’m fine.”
I leaned in and nudged her ear with my lips. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I whispered, pulling her up against me.
Everyone turned to look at us as they walked by, and I was very aware of the tinted blush on Ryder's cheeks. It was so easy to embarrass her, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was enjoying my little display of ownership.
The thought made me feel guilty.
My intentions were only to embarrass her a little, and maybe encourage the older guys to stay away from her.
After fourteen years of friendship, we’d reached a point where we found amusement out of pushing each other’s buttons, and even more so by toying with each other’s comfort zone.
Maybe, this time, I took it too far?
“Ty,” she whispered.
The sound of her voice lingered on me in a way I wasn’t use too. What the fuck, Tyler. I scolded myself for taking enjoyment out of the way my name sounded on her lips.
Sadie saved my sanity when she pounced on Ryder, breaking the moment. “Hey, bestie!”
Sadie was a friend Ryder made last year when she was forced to linger in junior high without us for a year. Sadie was extremely social, loud, artsy, and enjoyed dating… a lot. Nearly the exact opposite of Ryder. Yet, they clicked instantly somehow.
“What’re you weirdos doing?” She asked, very aware of our platonic friendship.
“Making a scene so guys stay away from Ryder. She doesn’t need any losers trying to take advantage of her.” I clarified.
They both shot me a glare.
“You’re such an asshole.” Ryder spat out and looked hurt.
Fuck, what did I do now?
“She can take care of herself, you nitwit. So, stop peeing on her like some kind of dog marking his territory.” Sadie chimed it, looping her arm with Ryder.
I made a mocking barking noise at her before they stormed off together. Suddenly, I was wondering how long I'd have to endure Sadie hanging around with us this year. I liked the way she stood up for Ryder, but I didn’t like that she was a complete bitch to me.
*************************
As I recalled the old memory, I also realized that was the year Ryder and I became more flirtatious.
It started out as a ploy to keep guys at a distance, but then it became an addiction to watch her reactions and feed off the energy that seemed to linger between us.
We weren't great at understanding the boundaries of a normal friendship. Perhaps if we had been, she’d still be in my life today.
Maybe I would have even been more prepared for the day Ryder started dating.
Chapter 4
Tyler
*************************
I hadn’t seen Ryder for most of the summer after my sophomore year, which was unusual fo
r us. I even missed her fifteenth birthday, the first of all of them that I hadn’t attended.
Her parents had taken her to the east coast to visit family and she stayed there until a week prior to starting her sophomore year.
We kept in touch on the phone, but it wasn’t the same. I missed having my best friend with me and I was excited she was going to be home today.
I kept checking the driveway for her parent’s car and texting her for updates. Then, finally, around five o’clock I heard her parents pulling in.
I didn’t waste anytime making my way outside and towards the trunk of the car to help grab her stuff.
“You guys need help with bags?” I asked, already pulling things out of the trunk.
“Sure, thanks Tyler.” Her mom smiled at me before shutting her door and walking over to chat with my mom.
“Ty!”
I heard the familiar shriek coming from around the car, before snapping my eyes up from the trunk. The familiar sound came from an unfamiliar hot blonde rushing towards me.
Wait, no, not a hot blonde. Ryder.
I dropped the bags and caught her in my arms, twirling her once before setting her back down.
“Ry?” I questioned, looking her over to be certain I wasn’t crazy.
Her glasses were gone, and her once comfortable fitting jeans were now tight and snug in all the right places.
Wait, no. All the wrong places.
My eyes traveled to the curve of her ass, where her jeans hugged tightly, complementing her narrow waist. I fought like hell to look away, but my eyes only found a new sight, some skin peeking out over her stomach as she lifted her arms to hug me again.
I couldn’t stop myself from eyeing my best friends’ body greedily, and I didn’t like the way seeing her like that made me feel.
“Damn, Ry. Cover up.” I swallowed, pushing her away finally and trying to pull my eyes from her body.
“What?” Her voice sounded wounded. “Don’t be a jerk, Ty. My cousins took me shopping for school, you don’t like the new me?”
I caught her gaze, only to be reminded she was no longer wearing glasses. She must’ve gotten contacts, and I already found myself missing the cute way she would push them up the bridge of her nose.
“I liked the old you.” I gritted out.
“Well I’m still me,” she grinned, before flashing me her new converse sneakers.
I laughed. At least some things remained the same.
To make matters worse, when school started back up, everyone else noticed the changes too. Guys were eyeing her more intently and I didn’t like the new attention she was getting.
It made me feel even more protective of her.
I knew it was selfish of me to take such an active role in deciding what was right for Ryder. Hell, Sadie was never afraid to remind me I was a ‘controlling psycho’. Yet, nothing would change my life goal of making sure Ryder never settled.
I’d broken up with Kara over the summer, and I was dating Katie now. So, I should’ve had less time on my hands to worry about Ryder. However, it was my job to look out for her. After all, that’d been my job since the day she was born, and nothing came before it.
Of course, none of that stopped our friend Joey from asking her out...
“Please, Ty!” She whined as we sat in the treehouse in her backyard.
“No, I'm dating Katie. She'd kill me.”
“Come on, it's us. No one would even give it a second thought.” She argued.
“I'm not teaching you to kiss, Ry!” I argued.
There were so many reasons I refused to kiss Ryder. First off, I was dating Katie. Secondly, she was my best friend. Most importantly though, I didn't want her kissing anyone. Period.
“Come on, you're my best friend. I’d rather have my first awkward kiss with you. That way when I kiss someone I actually like; I won't be horrible at it.”
Her words bothered me, more then I wanted to admit. Yet, I was to distracted to dwell on it.
How was I supposed to protect her when she was going out tonight, without me? Plus, what if he did end up being her first real kiss, and then he ended up hurting her? I’d have to kill him and, up until now, I liked Joey.
“I was already your first kiss,” I reminded her. Partly to change the subject, but mostly to remind her that I’d already claimed that first kiss for myself. “You were fourteen, remember?”
She rolled her eyes. “That wasn't a real kiss, and you know it.”
I grinned when an idea swept over me, and I turned towards her. “Fine, I'll kiss you.”
She grinned back at me before gathering herself up on her knees and turning so she was sitting on her legs next to me.
I chuckled before I twisted to face her.
I slowly moved my hand to rest on her cheek, brushing my thumb over it gently as I nestled it into place behind her ear. I saw her take a nervous breath and for the first time in three years, I actually wanted to kiss her again.
The feeling scared me.
I quickly inched towards her until she shut her eyes. Then, I pressed my cheek up against hers and gave her a familiar kiss, a butterfly kiss.
She instantly moved her hands to my chest and shoved me backwards. “Why are you such an asshole?” she asked, and I laughed.
“I don't know.” I shrugged, “why are you so annoying?” I shot back with a grin, and she just glared at me. “You once told me that was a real kiss.” I argued.
“Whatever, I'll just kiss Joey and make a fool of myself.”
The second she said it, the image of the two of them instantly planted itself in my brain.
“Gross,” I said out loud.
“Not everyone thinks I'm gross, Ty!” She grumbled, defensively.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” I sighed when I saw a hurt expression wash over her. “You aren't gross, it’s just, you're Ryder.”
“Yeah, I get it. Kissing me is gross, like kissing one of the guys.”
I watched her slump in defeat and I hated seeing her feel so self conscious. Especially, when she was wrong. I didn't see her like one of the guys, and she was far from gross.
Hell, I wished I could just see her as one of the guys. Maybe then I wouldn't have to feel so damn protective all the time.
However, I did see her as Ryder and Ryder would forever be off limits. For everyone.
“I hope I don't make a fool of myself tonight.” She mumbled as she sat perched next to me still.
I realized, in that moment, I was willingly sending her off to share her first kiss with our friend Joey. I was already pissed he’d agreed to go out with her. Now, the thought of him kissing her infuriated me.
It wasn't that Joey was a terrible guy, he was just a guy. He often swapped stories, with the rest of us, in the locker room about our hook ups and I'd be damned if tomorrow he was going to tell us one about Ryder.
I didn’t give myself a chance to change my mind, instead, I moved my hand to the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to mine.
I caught her off guard, her mouth still partly open. My lips brushed hers lightly and my tongue instantly took advantage of her parted lips and found hers. I wasn’t expecting her to taste so good. Sweet, and pure. Like biting into a strawberry. Fuck, she tasted good.
Her lips were soft, and she wasn’t wearing that annoying lip gloss most girls our age always wore. Instead, I could actually feel the softness of her lips brushing against mine as we kissed.
She responded to me timidly at first, her inexperience only adding to the sweetness of the way she tasted. At first her lips just rested against mine and she let me take control, but then something shifted. I felt her hand grip my shirt and pull me closer, as she pressed her lips more firmly against mine.
I felt her tongue swirl back against mine and I swore I felt her whimper into my mouth. What started as an innocent first kiss between friends, suddenly felt fueled by emotions. Emotions that I hadn't even acknowledged to exist between us.
I thought
back to all the times I’d threatened the life of any guy that showed interest in being in the exact position I’d found myself in now. I always told myself it was to protect her, but now I wondered if it was to selfishly keep her to myself.
The second I heard her whimper against my mouth again, I groaned and pulled her into my lap. I refused to acknowledge the barriers that we were crossing. All I could focus on was the way it felt to kiss my best friend, to kiss Ryder.
My free hand slipped around her back and I pulled her up against me as I deepened our kiss. For the life of me I couldn't recall ever feeling this consumed by anyone before.
Sure, I’d imagined hooking up with lots of girls from school, but never did Ryder exist in those fantasies. She was off limits; she wasn't like most girls. She was Ryder.
God, this was Ryder.
I snapped back into reality when I was reminded that it was her in my arms, not just some random girl. I pushed her off of me, breaking our kiss. We both looked at each other the moment we were a safe distance away. She was panting, and I was trying to my best to hide any clue that the kiss had affected me in any way.
“There, now stop bugging me.” I said, trying to regroup from the confusion the kiss had stirred up in me head.
Her tongue came out and swept over her reddened lips, a redness I’d caused.
I ignored my urge to kiss her again. Suddenly very aware of her mouth and body, in a way I wasn’t used to.
“Was I any good?” She asked innocently, reminding me that we’d just shared her first kiss and as amazing as it was, she’d only get better.
Fuck.
“It was alright.” I lied, and I saw sadness hit her eyes.
I realized I’d hurt my best friend for the second time. Perhaps it was better this way if I hurt her instead of a loser like Joey. At least I’d be around forever, to pick up the pieces.
“Oh…,” was all she said at first. “Well, I guess I better go get ready to meet up with Joey.”
“Go ahead. I’m going to stay here for a bit.” I explained, still unwilling to admit that I’d just felt anything.
