Stripped

by Mia Archer

  Everything was changing, not always for the better, but this was one change I could get used to.

  “So what’s on your mind?” I asked.

  “I think you’re making a mistake,” she said.

  I rolled my eyes. Here we go again. More talk about how my lifestyle was an abomination. More talk about how I was a horrible pervert.

  “Look Tara, I was serious when I said I don’t have time for more of your bullshit right now. I have to get ready to go out there and…”

  She surprised me by reaching out and putting a hand on mine. I looked down and regarded it like I might look at a vicious dog that had clamped down on my hand. Sure it didn’t hurt as much, but it was just as surprising and unwelcome.

  “Would you just listen to me? Please?” she hissed, and there was something of the old Tara there for that moment.

  But I decided to hear her out. She’d come over here to talk to me and obviously something was bothering her. I figured the least I could do is listen to whatever she had to say. If I didn’t like it I could always tell her to fuck off.

  After all, she was so afraid of me these days that all I had to do was say “boo” and she’d scurry for the other side of the dressing room.

  “Look, I never told you why I was so angry at you for so long,” she said. “I guess I didn’t want to think about it because I’m sort of ashamed of something that happened a long time ago.”

  She paused. Stared off into the distance. Off into the past. It was a look that I recognized all too well. I’d had that look on more than one occasion when I thought back to my own mean girl days.

  “It’s stupid. You wouldn’t understand,” she said.

  I thought back to the bad old days. To when I externalized all the worries in my life, particularly the worry that someone would figure out I was a lesbian. When I took out that frustration on other people who didn’t deserve it.

  I was basically a walking talking poster child for what not to do when you’re a closet case in high school. The kind of person people look back on and think “I always knew they were gay.”

  Not that I could help it entirely. I was from a small town where being gay was pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen to you. That didn’t excuse what I did at all, but it was how I was able to live with myself now.

  “I think I might know more about that sort of thing than you think,” I said. “So why don’t you tell me?”

  This felt even weirder than when I was standing up to her and she was backing down. Now that I’d showed her I wasn’t going to be pushed around she’d turned around and was using me as a shoulder to cry on?

  It was weird, but if that’s what she needed I suppose I could do it.

  “It all started with one of my best friends back in school,” she said. “We knew each other from elementary school through high school and we were inseparable.”

  I frowned and thought back to a couple of “friends” I’d had growing up. Friends who were really more like relationships I wanted to have but couldn’t because I was afraid of making a move and outing myself. I thought about the longing and the pain and how difficult it was to have feelings for someone like that and keep it hidden.

  Again, another one of your stereotypical experiences for a gay kid growing up in a small town. Was Tara about to tell me that she had a crush on one of her friends or something?

  “Well I thought we were friends, at least, until one night at a skate party for the school,” she said.

  “A skate party? They still had those where you lived?”

  “Well yeah. Small town. Not like there’s much else to do but bowl, skate, drink, or fuck,” she said. “You should know that if what you said about where you grew up is true.”

  I laughed at that. The girl had a point. There really wasn’t much to do. Unless you wanted to have fun with some city folks and take them out cow tipping which totally wasn’t a real thing. I’d like to see someone try to push over a dangerous animal that weighed that much, but whatever.

  “So what happened with your friend?”

  “She hit on me,” Tara said, her eyes still getting that faraway look, but now she frowned. “She took me out back and said she had something to tell me and the next thing I know she’s trying to make out with me.”

  I blinked. Okay then. I’d had a couple of awkward experiences where I confessed my feelings to a girl after I decided to come out of the closet. Experiences that didn’t go very well at all, but I didn’t lead with trying to kiss them or make out with them.

  “Huh. That had to be a little weird,” I said.

  “It was!” Tara said. “It’s like I think this is my best friend and then she’s trying to make out with me and I wasn’t like that at all and I was afraid someone might see us and think I was like that which was like a social death sentence…”

  I snorted. What she said was harsh, but it was also the truth. Again, I was more than familiar with what it meant to grow up in a small town where being gay was considered about the worst thing you could do aside from not going to church on Sunday.

  Not that I’d been to church since coming out. I didn’t have time for people who didn’t have time for me, thank you very much.

  “So what happened then?” I asked, sensing that there was more to this story. More that Tara wanted to get out.

  She sighed and if anything that frown that had been threatening on her pretty face deepened. I got the feeling we were about to get down to the really bad part of this sob story.

  “I pushed her away and told her to get the fuck away from me. That I didn’t want anything to do with her. It felt wrong, but I also felt so betrayed. Like you think you know someone, you think your relationship is one thing, and then you find out it was completely different. I thought of all the sleepovers, all the…”

  Her voice caught and there were actually tears threatening at the corner of her eyes. Damn. Tara was so upset about this that she was about to cry. I couldn’t believe it. The ice queen did have the ability to show emotion.

  The only problem? I had no fucking clue why she was showing all this emotion with me. It made absolutely zero sense.

  “So is there a point to this story or…”

  “The point is that was why I was so mean to you. Every time I see… someone like you I think about my friend. I think about how she was something other than what she always claimed and it made me mad. It was like seeing you brought all of that back up. It’s stupid, but…”

  I reached out and put a hand on hers. I wasn’t sure how she would take that considering our adversarial relationship, but for a wonder she merely smiled. Maybe things really were changing for the better between us.

  Or maybe she was trying to get me to let my guard down, but I figured the least I could give her was the benefit of the doubt after that sad story.

  “I was more mad at myself than anything, I guess,” she said. “I threw away a friendship because I didn’t know how to deal with her acting like that.”

  Now there was something that sounded familiar. I thought of a few friendships of my own that had ended because my friends didn’t know how to deal with me being a lesbian. I thought of a relationship that had ended more recently because I didn’t know how to deal with Taylor freaking out about what I did for a living.

  And suddenly some things were starting to look at lot clearer than they did just a few minutes ago. Funny that it would be Tara of all people who would cause me to have that epiphany, but here we were.

  “Look, maybe you should look up your friend or something?” I asked. “Obviously this has been bothering you for awhile, and obviously it’s turned you into someone who’s not exactly pleasant to be around all the time…”

  I waited to see if she’d react to that. It was one thing to realize you’d been a beast to the people around you, and it was another thing entirely to get called out on it.

  “Maybe you’re right,” she said. “And maybe I’m not the only one who should be giving someone a c
all just because they didn’t turn out to be exactly who you thought they were.”

  And with that she stood and walked off, leaving me with my thoughts. I never thought I’d be getting good relationship advice from Tara of all people, but the crazy bitch did have a point.

  21

  Taylor

  I stopped outside the Lacy Garter and had to take a moment to really compose myself.

  “I’m not sure this was such a good idea guys,” I said. “I mean I don’t even know if she’s in there tonight, and after everything that happened the last time I was in there she really might not want to see me.”

  I was unceremoniously picked up by Stephen and Dan and escorted up to the front door. Damn.

  And there we reached what I figured would be the first stumbling block of the evening. None other than the bouncer who’d been there the day I got into that fight with Tara. He looked me over and from the way his eyes went wide it was pretty obvious that he recognized me right off.

  “Um, hi,” I said, trailing off and suddenly unsure of myself.

  A part of me hoped that he might decide I wasn’t worth the trouble. That just the risk of another fight would be enough reason to send me packing. Unfortunately for me he grinned instead.

  “Back for more trouble?” he asked.

  “Something like that,” I muttered. “I just want to have a nice quiet night at the club with my friends.”

  “Quiet like the last time you were here? Y’know Tara hasn’t been the same since that night.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered again, not sure what I was supposed to say to that.

  “Oh no need to be sorry at all,” the guy said, still all grins. “If anything Tara’s been great since that night. Not nearly as mean to people. She even agreed to go on an actual date with me sometime!”

  “Um, good?” I said.

  This conversation was making me more and more uncomfortable by the minute. It didn’t help that everyone else was standing around staring at me with the gears obviously turning in their heads. Dan and Stephen were the only ones who really knew what happened here and why I was so reluctant to return.

  I had a feeling after this conversation with the bouncer they weren’t going to be the only ones who knew what was going on by the end of the night. Damn it.

  “So I can go in?” I asked, still half expecting him to tell me to fuck off.

  “Oh sure,” he said, gesturing in. “I got no problem with you, but you might have a bit of trouble when you get in there.”

  “Thanks,” I said, any semblance of a good mood that might’ve been developing disappearing at his words.

  Damn. That was just a reminder that there was someone out there who wasn’t going to be too happy to see me. Someone who had good reason to not be happy to see me after everything that happened.

  Even if it wasn’t really fair. So I made a mistake. It’s not like I was the first person to ever make a mistake in a relationship. To royally screw things up.

  Then again I had royally screwed things up pretty early on in the relationship even if we had been having a pretty good time together. I suppose that more than anything was why Jasmine decided to disqualify me.

  Well I was going to try and fix that tonight. Maybe I’d get in there and she’d tell me to fuck right off. Maybe she wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

  Maybe that was the case, but I was going to go in there and I was going to stand up for myself. I was going to let her know that I still wanted her. That I still wanted to be with her. That I still thought we had a chance and what we had together before everything got fucked up was pretty damn good thank you very much.

  And if she decided she still wanted to throw everything away after I said my piece? Well then I was probably going to go to the grocery store later and get some late night drinking supplies that would be a hell of a lot cheaper than getting drunk at the strip club and some pints of ice cream to go along with it.

  I had the whole weekend to drown my sorrows, after all. Might as well make use of the whole thing.

  But as we stepped into the club I couldn’t help but feel a bit of excitement. Being in the club meant I was close to her. It meant I was going to see her again, and the thought of seeing her again, even if there was a good possibility seeing her again wouldn’t go as well as it went in my imagination, was enough to get me good and excited.

  “You doing okay so far?” Stephen asked.

  He came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. If any other man ever did that, Dan included, I would’ve tried to throw them over my shoulder. With Stephen it was innocent enough though, and so I leaned back and let the back rub relieve some of my tension.

  “I suppose I’m about as good as I’m going to be,” I said. “There’s nothing for it but to go up there and see if she wants to talk.”

  The only problem? I didn’t see her anywhere. It was funny. I was doing my best to avoid her the last time I was down here and now all I wanted was to see Jasmine and she was nowhere to be found.

  That made sense, I suppose. After all, she wasn’t a fan of coming out on the floor. It’s not like she’d be out here doing lap dances or anything like that, and I doubted she’d be in the back room unless one of those couples came through.

  I felt a stab of jealousy thinking of her being in one of the back rooms with a couple, and I stomped down on that stab of jealousy as soon as it hit me.

  I wasn’t going to think like that anymore. Thinking like that is what got me in this situation in the first place, and I wasn’t going to let jealousy get the best of me. I had no reason to be jealous. She had a perfectly good reason for not wanting me to come out here.

  I just really hoped I didn’t see the reason Jasmine didn’t want me coming out here. Last time around Jasmine leapt to my defense when that Tara girl came out with fists flying, but I didn’t think there was going to be a rescue like that again.

  Damn. I’d been so preoccupied worrying about what Jasmine would say when she saw me that I never stopped to think about what might happen if I ran into that crazy bitch. What if she was on the warpath? What if she decided to get in a fight with me again?

  Sure the bouncer said she was much nicer now, but that was with a guy she had the hots for. Something told me the situation would be a little different for me considering what I’d done to her.

  “Well look who it is,” I heard someone say from behind me.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. Speak of the crazy bitch and she shall appear. This was not what I needed right now. I needed to find Jasmine and say my piece and get out of here. I didn’t need another fight with crazy bitch.

  I turned around and I was halfway to raising my fist when she held a hand up to stop me. It was clear from the way she looked me up and down that she wasn’t happy to see me here, though I guess I couldn’t blame her considering how she got her ass handed to her the last time around, but she didn’t look like she was spoiling for a fight or anything.

  “Calm your tits,” she said. “I’m not here to fight you. I’m here to talk to you.”

  I looked down at my fist which was still half raised. I’d been on the verge of using that thing. I blushed and put it down, and I was glad she couldn’t see that blush in the darkness.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  I couldn’t quite believe that all she wanted was to chat. No, after everything that happened the last time around I figured she was still out here spoiling for a fight even if she was playing nice right now. The only thing I could think was she was trying to get me to let my guard down or something.

  “You know Jasmine really misses you,” she said.

  My heart leapt at that admission. It was everything I’d hoped for these past couple of weeks when I was separated from her, but it seemed too good to be true. And it also seemed odd to hear that coming from this girl. It made me wonder if she was up to something.

  “What’s your angle telling me this? Are you trying to make me look bad or something?”

  I
realized the guys I came in with weren’t anywhere in evidence. I glanced across the room and saw them settle into a booth. Dan gave me a thumbs up. Did he not realize this wasn’t Jasmine?

  I sighed. It looked like I was on my own. Maybe that was for the best though. It meant my coworkers wouldn’t be up close if I ended up getting into another fight.

  The girl, Tara, took in a deep breath and sighed. I noticed how that deep breath accentuated her tits and tried to ignore it. She might be a raging bitch, but the girl was also hot. She’d have to be to work in this club where the girls seemed hotter than usual.

  Not that I had a huge basis of comparison. It’s not like I spent all my time hanging out in strip clubs.

  “Would you shut up and listen to me?” she said. “So I was wrong the last time you were here. I can admit that. Now will you listen to me before you do something stupid again?”

  I blinked as though I’d been slapped. She was being forceful, but not in a bitchy way this time around. No, she was all business and it felt like she actually was trying to help me. The girl wasn’t trying to punch me or anything, at least, and I figured that was a hell of an improvement.

  “So you say Jasmine misses me,” I said. “Why would you care how Jasmine feels? The last time I was here you were doing a pretty good job of threatening me.”

  The girl sighed again. Again I found myself distracted by how good she looked when she sighed. Again I forced my eyes to go up to her eyes rather than concentrating on the more interesting parts of her outfit.

  There was only one girl for me in this club, and it wasn’t this crazy bitch who’d done her best to get in a fight with me the last time I came out here.

  “I probably deserved that,” she said. “I don’t know if things are ever going to be totally cool with me and Jasmine, or with you for that matter, but I do know that I can try to do some things that will make up for the way I acted, and this is it. She misses you. She probably wants to see you again. If she acts like she’s not happy to see you it’s an act. Remember that.”