Cruise Control: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 11)

by A. R. Winters

  I swiftly stepped in front of him.

  His brows drew slightly closer. “What? Now you are trying to kidnap me?”

  “Why do you always instantly jump to kidnapping when someone inconveniences you?”

  “You are holding me somewhere against my will, no?”

  “It’s nothing that dramatic.”

  He nodded. “Then that is kidnapping.”

  I let out a long, annoyed breath. “Look, just answer some of my questions. I’m trying to figure something out and all that.”

  He grunted. “It is not like I have anywhere else to be.”

  “Being on a cruise ship tends to mean a simpler plan for the day yes.” I crossed my arms, building the courage to ask questions where I may not well like the answers. “Have you ever been to Arizona?”

  Herman’s expression didn’t change. “Ari Roma?”

  “Arizona. Zona,” I emphasized.

  He paused to think. “Oh, you mean the tea brand! No. I’ve never had Arizona tea.”

  “No, not the tea brand, I mean the US state. Famous for having a giant hole in the ground that people like to visit for some reason.”

  “I’m sure there are many giant holes throughout America. But I have not visited any. My time in America has been short. Usually only to board one of these ships for one reason or another. The place this ship left from, it wasn’t Arizona, no?”

  “No. Louisiana.”

  “If a Swan ship didn’t leave from there I’ve definitely never been there.”

  In that case, he was claiming to have never been to Arizona. It was a land-locked state, which made it hard for the Swan of the Seas to ever depart from there.

  I was growing increasingly doubtful that this guy had anything to do with the event all those years ago. He was such a rule-stickler that I couldn’t imagine him doing anything slightly untoward, let alone illegal and immoral. Besides, his accent was obviously German, and my kidnappers had spoken in Russian during that conversation with their boss. I couldn’t imagine Herman Graaf being connected to those two men.

  “Never mind then. Forget I said anything about Arizona.”

  “Good, because I already have. Are you done?”

  “No. One more question. The cameras. Were you the one who disconnected them?”

  He nodded. “HQ ordered me to do so. A request from the CEO.”

  “And you did that? I thought there were legal or security reasons that would have prevented that.”

  “The contract was a lucrative one. Disabling the cameras on this floor was a specific condition of it going through or not, and corporate viewed any potential legal troubles as worth the money that LightningBlossom was paying. More profitable than a typical trip. Requires less supplies and staff.”

  Vernon was probably the stickler on this. Hadn’t he said something about cameras slowly sucking out a person’s soul?

  “And you just… did it?”

  “I did as I was ordered to. Nothing more, nothing less. I followed the request to the letter. If you have a problem with it, you should speak to corporate about it.”

  All of this proved mostly fruitless. Oh well. “Right. Fine. I don’t have anything else to ask. You’re free to go.”

  “Thank you for not kidnapping me anymore.”

  “It’s not kidnapping.”

  “Yes, it is,” he said as he passed, clearly unaware of what the word ‘kidnapping’ meant.

  The only remaining thing that could tie him to any wrongdoing was his access to zip ties, but it wasn’t hard to get a hold of those things.

  However, after my conversation with Herman, there was one thing that still bothered me. Turning off all the cameras did seem like something Vernon would request, but whoever had killed him had picked a particularly opportune time to do so—where else would the killer have had such easy, security-free access to Vernon? Could the killer have even planted the idea in Vernon’s mind, that it would be a good idea to turn off the security cameras?

  “There you are, girl.” Cece had made her way down to the VIP suites. “It’s a pain that I can’t just text you. I went looking all over and it turns out you’re still down here pacing outside your room. Come on. Let’s go do something.”

  “Making sure I don’t spend all my time working, huh?”

  “There shouldn’t be as much work to do. There are fewer passengers to pick up after so we should be able to actually enjoy the cruise this time.”

  “I had been looking forward to this trip for that reason, yes. Before the whole murder thing happened and ruined everything, as usual.”

  “Ah, I see,” she said as she urged me to follow her. “Pesky, inconvenient murders. Some of our passengers are just so inconsiderate of our free time.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cece looked relaxed and carefree as we made our way through the hallways and up to the deck. “Brock has basically been doing my job for me at this point. How’s your intern doing?”

  “Holly? Oh, she’s just a murder suspect. No big deal.”

  Sam was waiting for us on the deck, and right now, I could use a little bit of baking under the sun. Something calm instead of the storm that had been raging since I woke up today.

  “You. Girl!” someone called out down the hall.

  “Since I have no idea who he is, I’m guessing he’s after you?” Cece said.

  “Yeah.” I looked back. Benedict was storming up to me. “You can go ahead. I’ll head up after I deal with him.”

  “Sure, I’m not hurting to have some old white guy drone on and on at me.” Cece patted me on the shoulder. “Strength, sister. You can make it through this.”

  Ah, Cece, always there to give me words of inspiration in trying times. Like when I had to deal with angry business executives.

  She was gone just as he arrived. “You. Girl.”

  I forced my lips into a polite smile. “Hi. I do have a name, you know. I’m Adrienne.”

  “Sure, whatever.” He waved my way. “Come. We need to talk.”

  “Uh, okay.” I followed him into his cabin, being as guarded as I usually was around suspected murderers.

  “I know you’re the one asking around and being nosey about us. Being some sort of amateur acting out your Nancy Drew fantasies.”

  My eyes narrowed slightly. “I didn’t go looking for this. It found me. What did you want to tell me?”

  “I wanted to give you my perspective and statement, just so I can quietly exclude myself from this nonsense.”

  “Huh?”

  He spoke slowly. “I want to explain why I could never have killed Vernon.”

  I tried to hide my skepticism. “And your excuse that you couldn’t have killed Vernon is…?”

  He pointed to two things lying on his bed. A tablet, and a satellite phone.

  I shrugged, not really understanding what he was trying to tell me.

  “You see, I could not have killed Vernon despite my disagreements with him. I spent all of last night talking on the phone with my beloved in Paris.”

  “Six or eight hours of just talking on the phone? I like to chat, but even I think that’s a tad extreme.”

  “We were watching a few hour-long dramas together.”

  “Over satellite internet?”

  “Yes. It’s good enough for that.” He picked up the tablet. “I can give you the logs of our time together if you don’t believe me. My girlfriend has all of the evidence as well. There are video recordings if you require further proof.”

  My eyebrows were involuntarily shooting up into my forehead.

  In all of my time dealing with this sort of thing, the suspects didn’t usually come to me on their own volition and spill out a long and specific alibi to try and clear their names. If anything, the fact that he came at me with piles of evidence made me more suspicious of him.

  Benedict didn’t seem to understand my hesitation. “Here. Take this card. It has my girlfriend's number so you can verify my alibi.”

  It was on a
business card. For some reason, he kept his girlfriend’s number printed on a separate card from his own, with the only text being ‘Benedict’s Girlfriend’ and the phone number. The text was a little bit fancy, though. No one could say romance was dead.

  “I’ll pass this along to First Officer Lee. He’s the one in charge of all this. I’m just trying to help him where I can.”

  “Good. I’m willing to do whatever I can to help. I just want to make it known that this was not my doing. I had my conflicts with Vernon, but I would never harm another human being.”

  “Uh-huh. So you brought me in to tell me it’s not you. Do you have any idea of what might have happened to him?”

  “I can’t say. I don’t trust the others. They’re all incredibly greedy. More so than I would ever be.”

  The chief financial officer wasn’t the greediest one. Right.

  “I think they all might have done it,” he went on. “Maybe it’s a vast conspiracy. They all wanted him to push the IPO already.”

  “Except you? You didn’t want that?”

  “Me? Oh, goodness no. Besides, I’m a coward by nature. I run at the first sign of physical danger. Plus, I faint at the sight of blood. That would make me horrible at murder. And I am absolutely terrified of going to prison. I always return my library books on time, because even that crime is too much to have on my conscience.”

  I had empathy with him for that last part, personally. Those late fees could quickly turn killer. Besides, what if someone else wanted to borrow the book?

  At this rate, I was expecting him to bring out character witnesses about how good of a person he was and show me his good samaritan merit badges from back when he was a Boy Scout.

  “Fine. I’ll tell Ethan all of this. Thank you.”

  “Remember, I didn’t do it.”

  I nodded at him, seeing myself out of the room. All these tech guys were kind of nerds, so perhaps Benedict was just socially awkward. Being accused of a crime for the first time, especially when you’ve always gone out of your way to avoid trouble, can mess with your head sometimes.

  What I did know is that I had agreed to meet Cece and Sam five minutes ago, and I could definitely use some downtime after an onslaught of eccentric techies.

  Chapter Fourteen

  On most cruises, what I usually saw on the decks was a lot of passengers trying to get some sun, usually sipping an alcoholic beverage, or talking away the day with endless laughter.

  A LightningBlossom cruise wasn’t that.

  Instead, it was a bunch of guys still wearing jeans and T-shirts, except for one or two with the confidence to actually be in a bathing suit. It wasn’t as if you needed a good body to enjoy the sun and water, but these guys seemed to be terrified of any social contact that was outside of an office.

  Some of them had gotten books from the ship’s library, which unfortunately did not match the computer nerd mindset. The ship’s library carried a lot of genre romances, self-help books, and some biographies. With software people, I expected to see Lord of the Rings or some Star Wars extended universe books in their hands. Not Danielle Steele.

  Others were scribbling things down on paper, or were chatting and rolling dice with one another. Someone shouted something about a magic missile, and another about a critical hit. Whatever you found fun, I supposed.

  The ennui of what to do without your phones. It was a problem I sympathized with, even though I hardly considered myself the alpha nerdette type.

  Cece had none of this ennui.

  “Man, we need more cruises like this. I’m done in half the time with fewer people.”

  “You know you could be done faster if you helped Brock clean.”

  “If I do it too fast, the bosses might think I’m not doing a good job.” Yes. She had to present the illusion of Cece Blake, the woman who worked her fingers to the bone.

  “Cece, sometimes I don’t know if I should tell you to stop or not. Taking advantage of your intern like that.”

  “See, that’s the thing, Addy. He just loves cleaning. I tell him to do it, and he does it. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t grimace. He finishes the job, and then looks over it. The guy shows pride in what he just did.”

  “Are you lying to make me feel better?”

  “No, I’m not. I didn’t believe it at first either, but this behemoth ex-football player? His calling is housework.”

  Sam came back with a tray of drinks for us. “Hey, Addy finally joined us. Took you long enough.”

  “I keep getting caught up with things. You know how it is. There’s no photos to take, but these people have other issues.”

  Sam plopped down in the poolside chair, her gaze fixed on what was directly across from her. She grumbled a bit under her breath.

  She was staring at Shaun, a lifeguard who’d been working on the Swan of the Seas for as long as we had. Of course, we usually just referred to him as a pool boy, since he literally seemed to always be around the pool—wearing a lifeguard’s uniform and looking rather nice, of course.

  Ever since he laid eyes on her, Shaun had been particularly enamored with Sam; something that Sam did not appreciate. According to her, Shaun was boring and needy. To some extent, I agreed with her.

  Thankfully, Shaun had recently gotten over Sam and developed feelings for another woman. And unlike Sam, his new crush reciprocated those feelings.

  Shaun and his new girlfriend were gazing at each other with stars in their eyes, making lovey-dovey faces at one another.

  It was kind of cute, but I knew not to say that out loud. Instead, I had to be the good friend and try to get her mind off the terrible tragedy of other people having a good time.

  I nudged Sam gently. “So, where’s that water aerobics instructor guy you had ice cream with?”

  “He’s not on this cruise. He was one of the people given the week off. I suppose tech people aren’t very interested in fitness.”

  “Oh, he’ll be back next trip. You can spend more time with him then.”

  “Yeah. If he doesn’t find someone at home and dedicate those sweet abs of his to another woman.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “How could anyone resist that guy? He’s a personal trainer too. I really want him to personally train me.”

  “Never thought you were much of a gym rat.”

  “You know exactly what I mean, Adrienne. My enthusiasm for the gym matches yours, but with a guy like that? I’ll be the fittest woman on the planet.”

  A shadow passed over us, a pounding sound from above. I shot up, looking into the air. Like thunder, it couldn’t be ignored, but it soon became obvious what it was.

  A helicopter.

  Its shadow cast over the ship as it flew over, and pretty much everyone on deck was watching it pass.

  My curiosity was always one that demanded more than just looking from afar. “Let’s go.”

  “I guess we’re following the whirlybird then,” Sam said, calling for Cece, who desired to do nothing for a little bit longer.

  We rushed across the deck and over to the other side of the ship. The chopper stopped to hover over a mostly clear space, usually used for dances or other events. Little bits of paper and dust were being blown about, and my hair was going to have the windswept look for the rest of the day.

  Ethan had beaten us there and, out of safety, stopped us from proceeding any further. “We’re getting a new guest to replace the old one, I’m told.”

  Joining a cruise after it already started was unusual, but I supposed when you had the money to own your own personal helicopter, most rules didn’t apply to you.

  It landed gently on the deck, and the side door opened.

  Out hopped a man in a suit, sunglasses, sandy blond hair and a power walk. He got far enough away from the improvised helicopter pad and shot the pilot a thumbs up. Just as swiftly as it arrived, it took off, charging toward the horizon.

  “Ethan Lee, I believe?” The man did a little bow before Ethan before going
for a more traditional handshake. The gesture seemed oddly familiar to me. “Sebastian Hawk, Deputy CEO of LightningBlossom. Or I guess the CEO of LightningBlossom now.”

  “Good to meet you, and yes, that’s me. Behind me is our social media director…”

  “Social media director?” His eyes narrowed on me.

  I crossed my arms. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ve already been told to not put everything on Twitter. I got other things I do too.”

  Ethan pointed to Sam. “That’s our customer liaison who will get you anything in settling in here, and finally… uh… one of our housekeepers.”

  Cece shoved him from the side. “I’m really feeling dignified about my job right now, Ethan.”

  “Sorry. What am I supposed to call you, then?”

  Sebastian nodded and smiled almost maniacally. “That’s great, great—wonderful staff and all—but I’m not here to hobnob with the common folk. I’m here to talk to my people.” He took out his phone and poked at it. “It’s rather strange. I was going to send them a text about a meeting, but I still can’t get in contact with any of them.”

  “Vernon’s orders,” Ethan said. “And yes, he is unfortunately no longer with us. We’re aware of that. However, since the orders ostensibly came from Corporate, we still have no internet or coverage.”

  Sebastian ran his hand through his hair. “Vernon, you fool. Fine. As the new CEO, I want to make it clear: I want the internet on ASAP. Tell your corporate drones. Do whatever is needed, bribe whoever, and make it happen. We’re a tech company and we need tech.”

  “We will get onto that right away,” Ethan said stiffly.

  “You’re gonna turn the internet back on?” A few of the nerds had followed us, apparently also curious about the helicopter. “Oh yes! Spread the good word, boys!”

  One of the men ran off, yelling about the soon-to-be-restored internet. He apparently hadn’t picked up the bit about Vernon being dead, though.

  I grimaced. “It’s still going to take time, and I think most of their gadgets are still back in New Orleans.”

  “We have a business section with about a half-dozen computers for public use.” Ethan looked back at the rampaging technophiles. “They’re going to need to share. Maybe I should put some extra security there?”