Cruise Control: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 11)

by A. R. Winters

  On top of the obvious hot dogs and hamburgers, there were also steaks, lamb chops, chicken in various forms, sausages, and so much more. I could feel my arteries joyfully clogging just looking at all of it.

  Of course, there were veggie burgers and vegetable skewers available for vegetarians and vegans, as well as salad stations for those who wanted to keep their diet healthier.

  As a good Nebraskan girl, my mother raised me to appreciate the deliciousness of all food equally. I would be sampling a good bit of everything. Probably even the vegetarian options too, because those looked really, really good as well.

  “You okay there, Addy?” Cece waved a hand in front of my face to get my attention. “You were daydreaming looking at Greg grilling.”

  I snapped out of my delectable dream and pulled myself back to reality. I had found a table in the corner of the picnic area. Cece already made her way over to me, stuck with the unfortunate duty of cleaning up as the games happened.

  Although with how things had been going, this mostly consisted of her watching Brock do everything again.

  “Sorry. I guess with all the nonsense that keeps waking me up I’ve been skipping breakfast, so the mere scent of food is enough to get me floating toward the grills like I was a cartoon character.”

  “There’s plenty. I checked with Greg for you. There’s no rationing going on. Everyone is free to seconds, thirds, fourths, thirty-sevenths, whatever.”

  I patted Cece on the shoulder. “Thank you. I know I can always count on you to look out for what’s really important.”

  She looked concerned about something as she stared off into the crowd of LightningBlossom employees. “Man, these tech guys are really a type, aren’t they?”

  “What? You don’t think jorts are still in fashion this year, and year-round?”

  “Fashion is the furthest thing from any of their minds. I’m almost jealous. I wish I could wear blue jeans and a bright orange shirt and not have a care in the world.”

  “I read somewhere that big thinkers tend not to put a whole of thought into their appearances. It’s why all the photos of Einstein look like he just got electrocuted.”

  A thud of a big bottle of water hitting the table followed. Sam pulled up her chair next to us and proceeded to chug a whole lot of it.

  There was no visible label, but it had to be almost a gallon of ice water.

  “Never expected to see you this thirsty,” Cece said, leaning forward with her chin on her hand.

  “Being an announcer is a lot of talking. A lot of talking, like, way too much.” She sounded slightly hoarse. “Especially when they want me to show any enthusiasm for it. I had to make it up and everything. Did you see how those guys played? It was awful.”

  “You did fine though, Sam,” I said, trying to comfort her. “You have a future in broadcasting if you want it.”

  “I don’t want it.” She chugged more water. “I really don’t want it.”

  “Are you just going to be running around taking care of cruise ship passengers forever?”

  “I’m not sure. But I do know I’m fine with that for now, and anything that requires talking for two straight hours is off the list.”

  “Slowly eliminate every job in the world and you’ll find the one.” I turned to Cece. “So, what about your ambitions?”

  “What ambitions?”

  I shoved her shoulder. “You know what I’m talking about. I thought you wanted to try to get a tech degree. That you wanted to take distance ed courses and work toward an online degree?”

  “Uh,” she sucked in her lips, trying to buy time to think, “I’m not so sure about that now. I think I could do it, sure, but I don’t know if I would fit in with the culture…”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  Cece gestured at the crowd surrounding us. “Nerds. All of them. I mean that in a nice way. They’re free to be nerds, of course, but I’m not a nerd. Is this really the field I wanna get into?”

  “That’s why you can’t see yourself doing it?” Sam paused to take another drink of water. “Because you don’t fit in with the nerd culture?”

  “Well, yeah. I don’t want to be shunned like a weirdo too.”

  “Cece, really.” I stroked her hand. “You probably have more in common with them than you realize. You can’t judge everyone just by looking at them. People will surprise you sometimes. You know all the LightningBlossom people I’ve been seeing reading romance novels on deck?”

  “I assumed that was because that’s all the ship’s library has outside of self-help stuff.”

  “Yeah, well, they’re still reading it. They found something in those books, totally not meant for them, and still connect with it. People are more alike than you know, Cece. You need to give them a chance.”

  “Besides,” Sam said after chugging more water, “it’s not like you’d be entering the tech world tomorrow. It would take years. More and more girls are breaking into the field. More and more nerd stuff is mainstream. You’re probably a bigger nerd than you think.”

  “Me? A nerd? Let’s not go nuts here.”

  “What about that game on your phone? The one you’ve been playing nonstop and telling me how much progress you’ve been making since Brock has taken so much initiative? How epic it is, with like a hundred hours of gameplay?”

  I grinned at Cece, ready to poke her in a spot I knew was soft. “Symphonic Fantasy XVI, I think it was? Incredibly nerdy and niche?”

  “Because I play one nerdy game doesn’t make me a nerd.”

  “Yes. You haven’t played XIV. Or XV. Or XIII. Nope. None of those things that are so nerdy they use roman numerals instead of actual numbers.”

  A blush crept into her cheeks. “Okay, so I have a nerdy hobby.”

  “Then I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Cece. I mean it’s not like you’ll be the only girl in tech, even now.”

  Cece looked over at the few lady LightningBlossom employees. “Yeah, but they’re as socially inept as the guys are.”

  “Then go, my sister,” I said, adopting a loud, proud tone. “Go into the tech field and become the fashion leader to aspire to. The queen of the nerds.”

  “You aren’t going to let up, are you?”

  “Not unless you give me an actually good reason you don’t want to start studying for your future.”

  “You drive a hard bargain, Addy. Fine. When this trip is over, I’ll get the whole process started. Besides, just think of how much studying I can get done if Brock gets hired properly.”

  I couldn’t decide if I felt sorry for that man.

  “Am I cool enough to sit with you guys yet?” All three of us looked up and saw Holly there, a large notepad in hand.

  “Holly, sit down,” I said, pulling out a chair.

  “Yay!” She did just that, planting her notepad on the table. “I did it. I gathered all the information about the Company World Championships. The teams, who won, the scores, and everything else.”

  I looked at her work. “This is all really thorough.”

  “Well, it has to be, right? We’re using it for research.”

  Sam’s bottle hit the table again before she spoke. “What’s this now? What are you researching?”

  “Well,” I said, “my original plan was for Holly to shadow Vernon and write an article about him, but that would be in poor taste now.”

  “Plus, he’s dead, so I can’t properly profile him,” Holly said with entirely too much cheer for the content of her words.

  “Right. So if she wants to make a good first impression, she needs something else. This Company World Championships thing might work and look good to Kelly.”

  “Addy is such a good boss, you guys.”

  Sam and Cece exchanged confused glances.

  Life goes on. If, like I was suspecting, Holly wasn’t a murderer, she was still an intern trying out a job here. Even if she didn’t need the job. I figured I’d give her a fair shake just like anyone else and gave her a new project.
<
br />   That it kept her busy and out of my hair was merely a bonus.

  The girl had pep. Too much of it. She still looked cheery and ready to take on the world despite all the running around asked of her.

  “We’ll turn this into something soon. Good work, Holly.”

  The world around us turned a brilliant orange, the sun touching the horizon as it set in the distance.

  I was itching for the food, waiting to pounce at any moment, but in the center of the picnic area on a raised platform, Sebastian Hawk stepped up and spoke loud enough that the whole picnic area could hear him over the sizzling meat.

  “Those were some games, ladies and gentlemen! You all played hard. Not too well, granted, but the passion, the drive was there. That’s the sort of thing that I wanted to see. This trip began with a tragedy, but it will conclude with a rebirth. Like a phoenix from the ashes, our LightningBlossom will be born anew, our flames burning stronger and brighter than ever before. Except with lightning instead of fire. You know what I mean.”

  Awkward chuckles from the crowd.

  “When we go back home, to our offices, we’ll be there, going harder and faster than ever before. We’ll emerge as a public entity, ready to take on the world, with a huge IPO bonus for all!”

  This news received solid cheers.

  “A new chapter, where we will truly realize our full potential, to work full-time once more!”

  This received cheers from the executives. The workers, though, were confused for a moment before they started to boo, finally figuring out exactly what Sebastian meant by all of this.

  “Oh, folks, you’re all such kidders. I know you’ll give it your all and help make this company the best it can be! This tragedy will become our greatest triumph!”

  “Man, this guy sure seems stoked about Vernon kicking it,” Cece said, nudging me with her elbow. “That’s not suspicious at all when there’s an unsolved murder investigation going on. Not at all.”

  Cece’s suggestion made my brow rise slowly. I didn’t really consider Sebastian a suspect. He wasn’t on the ship when the event happened, but despite that, he was the one who apparently benefited from it the most.

  “And with that said, I know you’re all waiting for me to finish up. All of that wonderful smelling food assaulting our noses and driving us a bit crazy… I say let’s eat! And drink! Be merry! Because tomorrow we get back to work!”

  His declaration stumbled again with confusion.

  “Tomorrow in this case means when our vacation is over and we’re back in the office. It’s a turn of phrase.”

  I wasn’t bothered by the bad jokes because I knew what truly mattered. That there was food available in great amounts and in great variety, and on top of that, for free. Or at least a perk for working on what seemed to be the most murder-prone cruise ship in the world.

  For me, that could make up for a whole lot of things going wrong.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I was stuffed full of meat, vegetarian substitutes for meat, and just plain vegetables.

  The only thing that could make it more blissful would be face planting in that bed. Alas, that would have to wait.

  The sunset had given way to night, and various crewmembers were fiddling with fireworks, ready to paint the night sky with pretty explosions and lights.

  I decided to take a short walk to check on how everything else was doing, and maybe shake off some of the bloat.

  Sitting at a table alone were Captain Ellman and Kelly. They had claimed one of the tables near a torch, many of which were spread through what the Swan crew constructed and were the primary light source for everyone.

  Initially oblivious to my presence, the captain was leaning in close to talk to Kelly, but still loud enough that I could overhear a little before they noticed me. “And there’s this place in New Orleans where…”

  It was then they noticed me, Kelly promptly clearing her throat and pulling away from the captain as if they were not getting too close for simple business chat.

  “Uh, so fuel expenditures on this trip are only down forty-two percent compared to the fifty-one percent that was anticipated.” She fluttered her eyelashes, trying to look innocent. “Ah, Adrienne, how have you been?”

  “Yes, everything been going well, I take it?” the captain echoed, trying to aid in the illusion.

  I smiled. “Oh, good food, good drink. Everything is peachy for me. How about you two?”

  “We’re making sure everything is up to code and regulations,” Kelly said, looking around for papers to enhance her lie. There were no papers. She turned red. “It’s just business. Business, you see. I should get moving. I need to in and make sure everything is going well, and that no one needs anything. Then go back to the ship and make sure everyone there is ready for the passengers to return.”

  Kelly stood up and unhooked a tiki torch from nearby to light her way, passing it to her other hand.

  “Ah, me too. I need to go… uh… make sure the ship is docked properly.”

  The captain stood up, unaware that the hand Kelly had shifted the torch to was the one closest to him.

  The arm of his captain’s jacket met the flame, and whatever material it was made out of turned out to be remarkably flammable.

  “Captain!” Kelly yelled.

  The fire spread, and he gasped and turned to run through the crowd. A man with a flaming arm is surprisingly good at clearing a path.

  He made a beeline right for the ocean, Kelly chasing him as he fled. Sam had taken off after him as well, still carrying her mostly full giant water bottle and seeking to put it to good use.

  Fortunately, the captain made it to the water and flung his jacket into it, the waves smothering the flames as soon as they started to spread. Sam poured some of her water on top of it for good measure. At this point, I think she was more than hydrated enough and wanted to be done with the bottle.

  I followed them down to the beach with much less haste than everyone else. When I got there, Kelly was checking the captain’s bare arm.

  “Everything okay?” I asked. “No burns?”

  “No,” Kelly replied. “Doesn’t look like it. Nothing worth worrying about, thankfully.”

  “Okay then.” I chuckled, now certain I wasn’t laughing at something that was a serious issue.

  “Captain!” Ethan yelled from afar as he ran up to us. “Are you all right? What happened?”

  “Just some misadventure,” the captain said with a forced smile. “Don’t worry about it really.”

  “Kelly and the captain were heading back to the ship and, uh, Kelly set the captain on fire.”

  “That’s what happened?”

  Kelly and the captain gave us blank stares.

  “It was an accident!” Kelly explained, a million words following, and I knew there was not a single bit of honesty in any of them. “We were going to go back, and uh… And uh…”

  Sam slipped away, picking up her water bottle off the ground, seeing that Ethan and I were reunited by fate. She knew when it was time to see herself out and let me have some alone time with Ethan.

  “Well, Ethan,” I said, scooting closer to him, “how about we go off and enjoy some time together in our forbidden workplace relationship?”

  “We’re not in a relationship!” Kelly was swinging around the torch she was carrying, and part of the reason to get away from her was so we didn’t end up like the captain. “We need to go back to the ship. For business. Yes. Business. Isn’t that right, Jonathan? I mean, Captain Ellman.”

  “Yes. Business. Exactly.” He nodded, knowing where this was going.

  “Let’s let them have their business then.” Ethan guided me off to the side, away from the accidental pyro and her crush. They blushed as we passed, but they were glad we were done playing with them.

  On the sands of the beach, we walked together for a time, putting some distance between us and everyone else. “No night duties are keeping you busy?”

  “Nope. Was literally
looking for you when I saw that the captain was on fire.”

  “Ah, so we can enjoy a nice long walk on the beach together. How cliché.”

  His embrace tightened. “What? Are saying you don’t like this, Addy?”

  “No, no. Just because it’s a cliché doesn’t mean it’s bad. Things become clichés for a reason, and it’s usually because whatever it is actually works for a lot of people.”

  “Should I take you through a gauntlet of romantic clichés then? Maybe kiss you at the top of the Eiffel tower?”

  “I don’t think Swan of the Seas will be going to Paris anytime soon. Does Paris even have a port?”

  He scratched his head. “I don’t know. And I can’t even check when we get back because the internet is still out. Although…”

  Our walk suddenly stopped as I heard something unusual in the distance. Not the incomprehensible chatter of the company barbecue roaring into the night, but the sounds of two people.

  Two familiar people.

  Together, Ethan and I approached quietly, and I spotted them on the other side of a rock, obviously trying to hide from everyone else. I usually tried to ignore my nosy tendencies, but with the craziness around me, I figured a little casual overhearing was called for. Ethan and I knew to stay silent.

  “You don’t have to keep slaving away in this dead-end internship. I can get you a nicer one.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to work at a tech company?”

  “But a cruise ship? That’s beneath someone with your pedigree.”

  “That’s ridiculous. The people on the ship work hard and deal with a lot. They seem nice, too. It’s why I’m second-guessing pursuing this further.”

  It was Holly, and the other voice was John Heaven. For a moment, I believed I had stumbled into overhearing a lover’s spat. They were both still suspects for what Ethan and I were investigating, so we continued to listen in.

  “You’ve been doing great at this. It’s why it’s beneath you.”

  “I haven’t even been doing what I signed up to do. I’ve mostly been a servant.”