by Baron Sord
“A mule?” I snickered.
“An old mule. One with arthritis and bad hips who doesn’t want to do it anymore. She’ll be like,” Arnold switched to a grating female donkey voice, “Not tonight, Arn-o-o-o-o-o-ld! My hips hu-u-u-u-u-u-rt!” While saying it, he shook his head and waggled his lips and tongue loosely. Then he honked, “Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!”
I chuckled, “You won’t marry a mule. You’ll find someone. Someone human. And female. And you’re not that fat. How much weight have you lost since going out on distress calls with me?”
“Distress missions. Calls sounds like we’re on-call plumbers or something.”
“Either way, how much weight have you lost?”
“Twenty pounds,” he said with a hint of pride.
“See? That’s awesome, Arnold. If you keep it up, you’ll be thin in what, four months? Five?”
“But I’ll still be short.”
“Hey, you know as well as I do, there’s some cute short girls out there who only date short guys.”
“The cute ones won’t date ugly guys,” he grumbled. Shook his head and whined, “Why did you have to get super powers? Why not me?”
I sighed, “Arn, if I could give you half my powers and super-looks, I would.”
“Not all of them?” he sneered.
“No way,” I chuckled. “You get half and I lose half. That’s the deal.”
Grinning, he rolled his eyes, “Okay, half. When do I get ’em?”
I said seriously, “I don’t have any control over it, Arn. I wish I did.”
He heaved a sigh, “With your looks, you don’t have to say anything and chicks lose their shit. Me? The only thing I have going for me is our stories.”
“What stories?”
“You know, our distress mission stories. When I was telling Kristy about them, she thought they were hilarious. Remember Cerberus, the three-headed raccoon?”
“Yeah,” I smiled. “The ones who got high on pot brownies from those SDSU students we found in Mission Gorge.”
“Totally,” Arnold nodded. “Kristy loved that story! She thought it was hilarious! I bet I could get tons of chicks if I told them what we do. Tons!”
“Don’t do it, Arn,” I warned. “You can’t go around telling people about us. Even if you did, who would believe you?”
“I know, I know,” he grumbled. “But if I told them everything…”
“What everything?”
“You know, about you. Me. Your powers. Us being roommates. You being the Masked Jumper and Wildfire. Me being the Machinist. Then they’d believe me. Especially if they met you.”
“No way,” I shook my head. “Uh uh. Unless you want Gray Eyes finding you and killing you, and possibly your parents too. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
“No,” he sighed.
“Believe me, Arn, if you go around flapping your gums to every woman you meet, it’s going to make its way back to Gray Eyes eventually.”
“That’s why we need to kill him,” he scowled. “The sooner the better.”
—: Chapter 63 :—
“Let me get just one lap dance,” Arnold begged me inside Flashbacks six days later. We had just walked in and stood near the pink entrance curtains. Arnold wore a fake mustache, fake sideburns, and comical afro wig he’d bought at a costume shop. He also wore a paisley-print rayon shirt that had an immense collar, velvet bell-bottoms and matching suit-vest, and a gold peace-symbol medallion around his neck. “Please,” he said, “I promise I won’t ask Lace for one.”
When we’d planned out this evening, I had told him Kristy’s stage name and insisted he use it.
Now, Arnold said, “I’ll ask one of the other strippers. What about her?” Arnold pointed at a familiar and sexy redhead strutting by.
Wet & Ready, the Sensual Cowgirl. Her eyes lit up when she saw me and she thought, I knew he’d come back for me. I’ll let him stew until he’s good and ready. She gave me the cold shoulder and kept going.
“Oh, man! Look at that ass!” Arnold said as Wet & Ready walked away. “She is totally hot, and she’s not Lace. How about her? Can I? Please?”
I sighed, “No, Arn. No lap dances. We’re here for a reason.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. “Pussy pooper.”
“Wait, did you just say…”
“Pussy pooper? Yes, I said pussy—”
“Never mind! I heard what you said. In case no one ever told you, those two words should never be placed next to each other. Ever.”
“What? It’s a figure of speech, and they are right next to each other, in case you haven’t noticed.”
I grimaced, “Just don’t ever say it again. Trust me.”
“Okay, Dr. Downer.”
Flashbacks was as busy tonight as it had been the last time. The men jeered and cheered while the gorgeous strippers danced in their neon bikinis or circulated on the floor, taking willing men into the pink neon tunnel for pricey private dances in back.
I sent a loud thought to Kristy, HEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Loud music blasted through the sound system. A topless stripper on the stage near me and Arnold kicked off her minuscule thong and spread her legs gracefully, showing everything.
Arnold nudged me, “I bet that pussy never gets pooped.”
“Would you stop?!”
“Why? What’s not to appreciate about a tireless pussy? It’s inspirational, if you ask me.”
“I didn’t, so shut up. Please. I’m begging you.”
“You’re such a baby, Doug. Do you need me to change your diaper?”
“Shut it, Arnold!”
He chuckled, “Just let me know if you need to poop. I’ll be right here, waiting with the baby wipes.”
I ignored him while the men watching the strippers on stage went wild.
KRISTY? I thought, trying to get her attention over the continuous din. ARE YOU THERE?
She thought somewhat faintly, What did you say?! I can barely hear you!
JUST CHECKING TO SEE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.
What?!
NEVER MIND.
Arnold and I found a small table away from the stages and sat down. A waitress took our drink tickets and brought us watered down Cokes. Definitely not worth 10 bucks a glass.
While we sipped our drinks, a number of strippers came up to me and flirted shamelessly, offering me free private dances like last time. Wet & Ready was one of them. When I told her and the rest of them no, they would flirt with Arnold, hanging on him like he was the stud he wished he was. Each time they did, I told them Arnold was broke, which prompted them to make a quick exit.
“Would you stop doing that?” Arnold barked at me after the fourth one left. “She was all over me!”
“No, Arnold. We’re here for a reason.”
“Yeah but we’re waiting. No reason not to kill time.”
“No, Arnold. We both need to focus. This is serious.”
“Fine!”
At one point, Kristy wandered over and sat down in a chair next to mine.
“Look at you, Lace,” Arnold said, eyes all over Kristy and her bikini.
“Eyes up, Arnold,” I warned.
“You don’t own her,” Arnold said.
I turned to Kristy, expecting her to back me up on this.
She smirked at me, “You don’t either. Neither of you do.” She glared at Arnold, “So don’t look at my boobs, Arnold.”
“Can I look if I tip?” He smiled endearingly.
“No,” she shook her head then laughed, “What’s with the disguise? You look like you’re trying to get into porn.”
Arnold chuckled, “Do you know anyone who could get me any work?”
“In porn?”
He nodded.
She said, “Actually, yeah.”
“Wait, seriously?”
She nodded.
“You could get me into porn?” Arnold gasped.
“I didn’t say I could. I said I know people. But trust me, you don’t want an
ything to do with it. It’s really sleazy.”
“That’s perfect!” Arnold laughed. “I love sleazy!”
She shook her head, “Trust me, it’s not what you think.”
Changing the subject, I said, “When do you think Gray Eyes will get here?”
“Who knows,” Kristy said. “I’m hoping he doesn’t show.”
The three of us chatted about nothing for two more minutes before Kristy said it was time for her to go.
When she stood up, Arnold asked, “Lace, are you gonna dance tonight?”
“Not while you’re here,” she snorted. “I need to keep working the crowd.”
“What does that mean?” Arnold asked.
“I’m sure you can figure it out.” Kristy suddenly looked uncomfortable. She said goodbye and disappeared.
Arnold said to me, “I bet she gives guys private dances.”
I glared at him, “Don’t remind me.”
“Just sayin’.” He sucked on ice cubes from his empty glass while looking around the club. “How long do we have to wait for Gray Ass to show? Oh, shit! That’s him!”
I turned toward the pink curtained entrance and sure enough, Gray Eyes stood there in a slick black suit, flanked by four men in black leather jackets. The same four as last time.
“Remember, Arnold,” I hissed. “Stay here. Do not engage. You’re just here to warn us if anything weird happens.”
“Right. I’ll keep my eyes out for more of those dudes. If I see any, I’ll text you.”
“Perfect,” I nodded. This time, I had brought my phone for this exact reason. “Now stay here. Do not move a muscle.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I stood up and made my way toward the entrance.
KRISTY! I thought loudly. THEY’RE HERE!
Yeah, I see them!
TIME FOR THE PRIVATE ROOM?
Yeah! I’ll meet you back there!
OKAY. I’LL GO SAY HELLO AND TAKE THEM BACK.
On my way to the front, I squeezed through the ocean of tables and men packing the club. Bumped into more than a few.
“Watch it buddy!”
“Sorry.”
“Hey! That’s my foot!”
“Sorry.”
“You’re blocking my view!”
“Sorry.”
Eventually, I made it over to Gray Eyes and his men.
Gray Eyes smiled at me, “Look at you, coming over here all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I like that.”
“We can talk in the back,” I said. “This way.”
“Oh no, we’ll talk right here. No need to draw things out.”
“Are you sure?” This wasn’t the plan. “I mean, don’t you want to do this where no one will see?”
He narrowed his eyes, “You sound suspicious. And that makes me suspicious. Why don’t you just hand me the envelope so I can take it and go.”
“Envelope? Oh, uh, it’s in the back.”
“That’s very odd, son. I would imagine if you were carrying around $25,000 in cash, you would want to keep it on your person at all times. I certainly would.”
“Oh, uh, it was too big to carry around.”
“Too big? Did you get nothing but ones from your dancer friends and put the entire wad in a bulging briefcase?” He chuckled.
“No,” I said snidely. “It’s not in a briefcase. It’s in a knapsack,” I lied. Since killing Ice Statue Sully, I had been lying daily, and getting better and better with practice.
Gray Eyes chuckled, “I thought you were going to tell me it was sewn into the lining of a fur coat. Knapsack, huh?” He stared at me for a long time. “Either you’re too dumb to know any better, or you’re lying to me, son. Or both. I can’t decide which.” He smiled and looked around the club.
For a second, I worried he’d spot Arnold. If Gray Eyes did, he’d realize something was amiss. Thankfully, Arnold was wearing his porn disguise.
Still scanning the club, Gray Eyes said, “Where’s your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I grumbled.
Gray Eyes pinned me with a grin, “You really oughta fuck her, son. I would.”
Kristy thought, Where are you, Doug?!
STILL OUT FRONT. HE DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO THE BACK.
Ugh. What’s his problem?!
I DON’T KNOW. HE THINKS I’M LYING.
Do you want me to come out there?!
NO, I’LL HANDLE IT.
Snap! Snap! Snap!
Gray Eyes was snapping his fingers in my face. “Son? You still there? Where’d you go?”
“Sorry. Look, the money is in back. In a private room. I told you we didn’t want to do this where everyone was watching.”
“Fair enough. If we have privacy, I will be more than happy to shoot you and your girlfriend dead. You have been warned.”
“What?!”
He smiled, “I suggest you not try and pull a fast one on me, son. I can smell one coming a mile away.” He growled out his last words with delicious glee, his gray eyes flashing with animalistic fury. “Lead the way. I haven’t got all night.”
I walked down the hallway with the pink neon waves and went past the pink couches and the private dance booths to another hallway and opened a door at the end.
Inside was a circular room with leather seating around the perimeter. Mirrors covered the ceiling and the wall space above the leather seat backs that circled the wall. In the center of the room was a round cushioned platform stage. Kristy sat on the edge of it in her bikini. Unlike last time, instead of wearing high heels, she was barefoot.
Gray Eyes stood in the doorway, surveying the room. To his goons he said, “You two wait outside and watch the door. You two come inside.” They did as instructed. With the door closed, the walls muffled out the loud PA outside.
Gray Eyes said to Kristy, “Is this where the fucking happens?”
“I wouldn’t know,” she scowled.
“I would sure love to see you get fucked but good, Legs. Right here on this round couch.” His eyes flashed with predatory hunger. “Maybe I can do the honors.”
She smirked at him, “I’d be happy to fist you, if you’re into that.”
Gray Eyes laughed, “Oh really? Use a little lube, ease it in, maybe tickle my prostate a bit while giving me a hand job?”
“No, I meant I’d be happy to put a fist in your face.”
“Oh ho ho! I like this girl.” He grinned at his two men. “She’s a wild one, I can tell. But, as much as I’d like to stand here and chew the fat…” his tone went from amused to icy, “…I’d rather have my money.”
“Yeah,” Kristy said. “About that…”
“Where’s the knapsack?” Gray Eyes asked, looking around. “It is in here, isn’t it?”
Doug, did you tell him we had a backpack?
Yeah, he asked a bunch of questions. I said we had the money in a knapsack.
Okay. I’ll take it from here.
She stood up from the round couch and ran her fingernail down the lapel of Gray Eyes’ black suit jacket with sensual skill. “Here’s the thing,” she said coyly, biting her luscious lower lip. She stood tall on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “We’re not paying you. Ev-er.”
“Come again? I don’t think I heard you right, Legs.”
“You heard me.” She patted his lapel with finality and backed up a step, lowering herself back down to her heels so she was standing flat on the floor.
Gray Eyes stared at her, his face motionless. His skin went bright red. “No, I don’t think I did. Would you mind repeating yourself?”
“Sure. I said, we’re not—”
CRACK!
Gray Eyes slapped her across the face. Hard.
I lunged forward, but Kristy was quicker.
She punched Gray Eyes in the gut so forcefully, he folded around her fist with an “Oof!” Then he fell backward into his two goons who caught him before his ass hit the floor.
I stood in a fighting crouch at Kristy’s side.
“Get the fuck off me!” Gray Eyes grumbled and wheezed in a hoarse voice as he tried to untangle himself from his goons. His dark hair was a mess dangling in his face. Using his fingers, he swept it back over his brow and straightened his suit jacket like nothing had happened. It was a long time before he said anything. He was pretending he hadn’t just had the shit punched out of him by a girl. “You’ve got quite a jab, young lady,” he whispered hoarsely, trying to present a cocky smile that wasn’t selling itself.
Kristy grinned, “Wait’ll you see my right hook. We’re not paying. So don’t come back.”
For the first time since I’d met him, Gray Eyes looked completely confused. He didn’t know what to do. So he turned to me and said, “Does she do all your fighting for you?”
I wasn’t falling for it. He was trying to rile me up until I did something stupid. I folded my muscled arms across my huge chest. I looked every bit the 330 pounds I weighed as of today. I grinned at him, “You don’t want me to punch you. It wouldn’t end well.”
Gray Eyes forced a smile. “Are you sure — cough!” He cleared his throat and shrugged his shoulders in irritation before continuing, “Are you sure this is how you want to play it?”
“We’re not playing,” Kristy said. “If you come back here, I’ll hit you were it hurts the most. You’ve seen what I can do. Just think what he can do.” She nodded at me.
Gray Eyes searched her eyes, then searched mine.
His bright gray irises were like mirrors.
I tried to read his thoughts, but I couldn’t get anything except restrained rage.
“Okay,” he sighed calmly. “Okay. Have it your way. Perhaps I was a bit too hasty. Perhaps I overstepped.” He gestured with one hand as he spoke.
I watched it closely, expecting him to shoot it into his black suit jacket and pull out a gun.
He continued, “The two of you couldn’t have known that warehouse was mine. How could you? I now see the error of my ways. It was all a misunderstanding. A bit of confusion on my part. Why don’t we let bygones be bygones and call it even?” He offered his hand to shake.
Kristy snarled, “I’m not touching you.”
He offered his hand to me. “How about you, son? Shall we shake on it like men?”
