The Bullet

by Iris Johansen

  “Michael!” She yanked the wheel and pulled the Toyota to the side of the road. The next instant, she’d jumped out of the driver’s seat and run around to jerk open the passenger’s door. He was still having those horrible jerking spasms. “What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong.” She gathered him in her arms and pulled him out onto the side of the road. She sat there on the rocks and grass, rocking him. Was she even doing the right thing? She didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. “Where does it hurt? Is it your stomach?”

  “Yes.” He whispered. “No. It’s … all over.” The jerking was going on and on. “Sorry…”

  “What are you talking about?” She held him passionately close. “You’re sick. Stop apologizing. You can’t help this.”

  “Scared … you.” His hands clutched at her as he gave another convulsive jerk. “But I think it’s—done. He’s not feeling it anymore … so they’re stopping.” He buried his face in her shoulder. “I stayed with him this time, but I don’t—think that—he knew it. It was too—bad for him.”

  “Him?” She froze as she began to understand. “Your dad?”

  He nodded. His hands still clutching at her. “Hurt. They hurt him, Mom.”

  Joe. Svardak had hurt Joe? The thought sent the agony spiraling through her. Her arms tightened around Michael. “Are you sure? You were sleeping. A bad dream?” But he had told her he didn’t have nightmares. She was just trying to avoid the horror of the truth Joe might be facing. And not only Joe. She realized what Michael had told her about being able to feel Joe’s pain had been too bizarre to be real to her. Dear God, it was real to her now. “No, I know it wasn’t.” She added shakily, “Was it the same as that time before when you were with your dad?”

  He nodded. “Sort of. I was sleeping, and I woke up when Svardak started hurting him.” His face was pinched and strained. “It was really bad. But it was worse after he told that man, Abrams to beat him.” He was shaking. “Dad couldn’t move, and he just kept hitting him and hitting him.”

  And Michael had felt every blow, she thought, sick. He was still shuddering, though the violent convulsions had stopped. She was aching for him as he had been aching for Joe. She wanted to keep him close, hidden in her arms, make him forget it all. But she couldn’t do it. Because there were questions she had to ask him. “How badly … was your dad hurt? He’s still alive?”

  He nodded. “I heard Svardak tell Abrams that he was only to damage him enough so that it would hurt Cara to see it. I think Abrams stopped when Dad passed out.” She felt him shudder once more against her. “I’m not feeling anything now. I’d know if he were doing something to him.”

  She was torn between profound relief, anger, and despair. “Michael, I told you not to stay with him if it happened again.”

  “I thought I could help.”

  “And I know you desperately wanted to do it. But what you were going through wasn’t good for you either. Your body was convulsing and shaking as if you had malaria. That’s not good for even someone who is healthy. I was afraid for you. I’m still afraid.”

  “I know you are,” he whispered. “But I’m learning all the time. I’ll get better.” He was trying to sit up, pushing her away. “I managed to stay with him. That was all that was important.”

  “You said he didn’t even know you were there,” she said desperately. “And it was terrible for you. Why was it so important?”

  “Because I could feel how bad Svardak was, and I wasn’t sure what would happen.” He added simply, “I thought they might kill him. And I couldn’t let him go through it alone.”

  She stared at him, stunned.

  “You would have done the same, Mom.”

  She shook her head. “It’s what I would have wanted to do.” Oh, how she would have wanted to be with Joe during those last moments. To spend the end as they’d spent the years of joy … together. “But I would have stayed behind to take care of you and the family. That’s what your father would have wanted me to do.” She swallowed. “And it’s what he’d want from you, too. But you said he was still alive, and that makes the question moot. We just have to keep him alive. I shouldn’t even be talking to you about it. Because you’re going to live a long life, and your dad is going to be there with both of us.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “How do you feel? Can you get back in the car?”

  “Sure.”

  “You didn’t answer me. How do you feel?”

  “Kinda stiff and sore. That’s funny, isn’t it?”

  “Not the least funny.” She was helping him into the passenger seat. “Listen to me. It sounds as if your dad isn’t going to be dealt anymore punishment until they can do it in front of Cara. So stay away from him until we can get him away from Svardak. Okay?”

  “I might not have to be with him to help.” Michael was fastening his seat belt. “Before I dozed off, I found three lakes on my computer that could have been the ones Dad was looking at before he started hiking toward that house. I’ll look at them again and maybe I’ll—”

  “No. Not now. Later.” She kissed him, then hugged him tightly. “You sit back and close your eyes. I’m still wondering if I should take you to a doctor. If you don’t feel well, you tell me immediately. Do you hear me?”

  “What would you tell the doctor?” He smiled. “I’m okay, Mom. I’m getting better every minute. And next time I’ll be—”

  “I don’t want to hear about next time.” She slammed the door and ran back through the spear of headlights to the driver’s seat. She stood there a moment before she opened the door, trying to get control.

  Joe.

  She’d had to hold inside all the agony and terror she’d felt about Joe while she tended to Michael, but now it was all right to take this tiny instant to think and pray.

  We’re coming for you, love. We’ll never stop. You stay strong until we get there.

  RUELL FALLS 5:40 A.M.

  “They’re coming.” Cara moistened her lips as she watched Eve and Michael get out of Eve’s Toyota and start walking up the bank toward them. “They made good time, didn’t they?” She had to raise her voice to be heard above the roar of the falls cascading down the hill to splash on the rocks below. “But then Eve must have been in a hurry. Joe is everything to her and this had to be—”

  “You’re nervous.” Jock’s gaze was on her face. “It’s a little ironic when you’re the one who’s been telling me that Eve should be here, even with Michael in tow.”

  “I’m not nervous.” She drew a deep breath. “I’m terrified. Eve’s given me everything, and now I’m responsible for taking away the one person she values the most.” Her gaze went to Michael. “And risking her son. She’d have to be a saint not to resent—”

  “Be quiet,” he said roughly. “Svardak is the only one responsible. You’ve been trying to prevent this from the beginning. Eve realizes that, Cara. She’s not going to blame you.”

  “But how can I not blame myself?”

  “I don’t like that kind of talk. It’s dangerous. I should have known you’d have this kind of reaction when you saw her.” His hands closed on her shoulders. “Joe considered Svardak as a job he had to do. He had a choice, and he made it. Now we have a choice, and I’m not going to let you mess everything up by getting all weepy at this stage.”

  She blinked, then laughed huskily. “Heaven forbid I get all weepy.” She swallowed hard. “I just had a moment of sheer panic at the thought of what Eve’s going through.”

  “I know. You’ve always had a fixation about helping her. We will help her. But you do nothing alone, understand?” He kissed her hard and fast, then whirled her to face Eve and Michael coming up the hill. “They’re almost here. She has enough to worry about without you adding to the mix. She thinks she’s just gotten you back. She doesn’t need to see how you’re teetering. She needs hope, dammit.”

  Wise Jock. In this moment, she could see the shining inside him he didn’t even know he possessed. He was right, they all needed hope
… and love.

  “Eve!” She broke free of his hold and ran down the hill toward her. The next moment, she was enveloped in Eve’s arms. Memories flooded back to her. Safety when there was no safety. Love when she had never known love without fear. Family when she had no idea what the concept meant.

  Eve.

  Eve pushed her back and searched her face. “How are you? You look a little … fragile.”

  Cara shook her head. She was fragile? When she had been so worried about Eve? “I’m not at all fragile. I’m just happy to see you.” She tried to smile. “Though not in these circumstances.” She turned to Michael and gave him a hug. “And you’ve caused your mom big-time headaches. Not good, young man.”

  “I know.” He returned the hug and stepped back, his gaze on Jock at the top of the hill. “But I had to do it. He doesn’t want me here, does he? I didn’t think he would.”

  She wasn’t going to lie to him. “None of us want you here. But Jock doubts that you’ll be able to help and might get in the way. That’s what you get for barging in without an invitation.”

  “I can help.” His eyes were still on Jock. “But I’d better make sure that he knows that he’s wrong.” He looked at his mother. “Do you suppose you should show Cara those photos of the lakes in the computer? I guess we should start out pretty soon to see if one of them is the right one.”

  Eve’s gaze followed Michael’s to Jock. “That’s a good idea.” She turned to Cara as she took her computer out of her backpack and smiled. “He’s given me the easy task. He told me that you’d have no trouble believing him.” She made a face. “Well, maybe a little trouble.” She sat down on the bank and opened the laptop. “Sit down. There are three lakes in the area that Joe might have seen the night he was taken.”

  Cara hesitated as she saw that Michael was no longer with them but climbing up the hill toward Jock. He looked so young and vulnerable in his jeans and navy sweatshirt with the dawn light shining on his red-brown hair. But his stride was eager and springy, and he waved cheerfully at Jock as he came toward him. Darn it, he was so endearing that she was reluctant to have anything disturb that wonderful picture of youthful faith and exuberance. He deserved anything that Jock said to him after what he’d done, and she’d certainly been rough on him. But he was Michael, and she wanted to run after him and protect him even from Jock.

  “It will be fine,” Eve said gently, her eyes on Cara’s face. “When did you know a time when Michael couldn’t take care of himself? We do all we can, but in the end, he seems to be able to survive on his own.” She shook her head. “Though this time, it’s been very hard for me to believe. He’s pulled out a few special items from his bag of tricks that have me pretty dizzy. I guess he had to do it because of Joe. But it still scared me.” She patted the ground next to her. “I’ll tell you about it, but sit down and let me show you these lake photos first. It all ties in to Michael and Joe, and that’s what we have to concentrate on.” She gave another glance at Michael, who had reached Jock and was standing with legs slightly parted staring up at him. And then at Jock, whose face was totally without expression. “Because we might not have as much time as I hoped.”

  CHAPTER

  14

  “Hi, Jock.” Michael smiled up at him. “It’s pretty up here, isn’t it? I like waterfalls. They always sparkle and seem to dance in the sunlight.”

  The words were as seemingly guileless as the sunny smile on Michael’s face, Jock thought. And they accomplished his purpose, Jock could feel himself yield and soften slightly as he looked at him. “It’s not the time or place for any of us to be admiring pretty scenery,” he said dryly. “And, if that was your aim, you put your mom through hell to do it.”

  Michael’s smile vanished. “I didn’t want to hurt her. I think you know that, Jock. It was the only way I could think to help Dad. I had to be here.”

  “Because you’re the only who could help him? That’s very conceited. Your father has a few of us ready to step up to the plate who have a few years and experience on you.”

  “I know that, but it has to be me.” He paused. “Mom told you and Cara that I could find him, but you don’t want to believe her.” He frowned, troubled. “You think it might be a waste of time, and that would be bad for Cara. It scares you.”

  “Does it? Maybe I just think you’re a kid with an active imagination who doesn’t realize it might hurt those around him. Yes, you’re smart, but this is something else entirely.”

  He slowly shook his head. “You’re scared.” His bright, amber eyes were on Jock’s, searching deep. “And you’re never scared. You’ve seen bad things, you’ve even done bad things, and now nothing scares you any longer. You’ve been all over the world, and you’ve seen strange sights that not many people have seen. You know that maybe I can do this. But you’re afraid to trust me.”

  Holy shit.

  The eyes staring into Jock’s were not those of a young boy. Or, if they were, they were seeing things about him that no one should be able to see. He took an instant to recover. Because Michael was right—he had seen things in India and Tibet that were fully as strange as a child’s being able to find his father in these mountains. Seen and accepted them because they were no threat, but anything affecting Cara could be a threat. “As I said, you’re very clever. I wasn’t expecting this. It seems you’re an entire other person from the boy everyone thinks you are. You have a real talent for pretense.”

  “No, I don’t,” Michael said. “That would be a lie. Mom’s right about lies being bad. Pretty much what you see is what you get with me. I’m just a kid with a great family.” He frowned. “But sometimes I see stuff or find out I can do something that would make people uncomfortable. So I just kind of ignore it.”

  “Until you’re not getting your way and decide to spring it on someone like me to seal the deal,” Jock said mockingly.

  “Only because it’s so important because of Dad,” he said soberly. “And there’s not anyone ‘like’ you. I could tell all those months I talked to you on the phone that something like this might happen. But I really needed Cara home because of Mom, and I thought it would be worth it.”

  “It wasn’t,” Jock said harshly. “And I won’t have her go through anything more because you want to ‘experiment.’”

  “I love Cara. You know I do. I made a mistake.” His eyes met Jock’s pleadingly. “Help me make it right?”

  “Is that supposed to sway me? I don’t care about making you feel less guilty. I only care about finding Joe. You haven’t shown me you can do it.”

  “Then just let me show you. Don’t get in my way. Okay? Trust me.”

  Persuasive as a siren call, Jock thought. But there was sincerity and honesty beneath that persuasiveness. These last few minutes with Michael had stunned and challenged him, but throughout he had been aware of that element of honesty running through his words. He hesitated, then made a decision. “I don’t have to trust you. I’m already setting up a backup plan that won’t involve you.”

  “Great.” Michael’s brilliant smile lit his face. “That will make you feel better. And it won’t interfere with what I have to do. You might even be able to help me a little? There are so many things I don’t know. I’ve never had to do anything like this before. I promise it won’t have anything to do with Cara.”

  “Everything about you and your family has to do with Cara,” he said dryly. “That’s why I’m scared.” His gaze returned to Michael’s face. “I always intended to help you, Michael. I like you, and Cara loves you. But you’re an unknown quantity, and I’ve never liked operating in the dark.”

  “That’s why I came up here to talk to you. But now you feel you know me better?”

  “No, why should I? All I know is that you’re way deeper than anyone thinks you are. You’re still an unknown quantity.”

  Michael sighed. “Yeah, I know. For me, too. But I’m working on it, Jock.”

  Jock smiled faintly. “I have an idea it may take a while fo
r all of us to see what’s below all those layers.” He shrugged. “In the meantime, I’ll accept what you show me as long as it never hurts Cara. And I’ll always be there for you.” He clapped him on the shoulder. “Now we’d better go down to Cara and your mom. You think you can do this?” He started down the hill. “Let’s prove it. It’s showtime.”

  * * *

  Eve gazed warily at Jock and Michael as they approached where Cara and she were sitting on the bank. Michael was smiling, and Jock’s expression was as noncommittal as it had been before. “Everything all right?”

  Jock shrugged. “Possibly. We’ll have to see when we go over those maps, won’t we?”

  “She’s already shown them to me,” Cara said. “Eve tabbed the three lakes that Michael said might be the ones that Joe was looking at. She said the one that’s on page one is Lake Cormack, and that’s the closest. It’s about an hour from here. The other two are farther north, and they’re a good three hours. They’re almost right on top of each other, Lake Kedrow and Hunter’s Lake.” She flipped the pages. “If Joe was here in Ruell Falls, he would have had to have a good reason to go that distance.”

  Jock’s lips tightened as he looked at the photos. “And if we go up there, and it’s not the so-called right lake, it will eat into the time that bastard gave Cara as a deadline.”

  “But one of them could be the right one,” Cara said. She glanced at Michael. “Does one of them look more—” He was shaking his head. “Sorry to put you on the spot. I’m just not familiar with this kind of thing.” She made a face. “And who knew that you would be?”

  “Not me,” Michael said. “It’s kind of crazy. But if I see the lake, I’ll know it, Cara.”

  “Then let’s make sure you see it.” She turned to Jock. “The closest one first? We might get lucky.”

  He nodded curtly. “That hasn’t happened so far. But it has to be the closest one. I told Kaskov to deliver Edding here at Ruell Falls after dawn. I have to be back here to receive him.” He turned to Michael. “Backup. Let’s hope that we won’t need him.”