Just a Little Bit Dangerous

by Linda Castillo

  She stared back, feeling as if she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and glanced over at her clothes draped over a branch a few feet away. “You know, I think I’ve had enough of this heat….”

  “I’ve got something on my mind, Abby,” he said. “I’d like for you to hear this.”

  “I’m not sure now is the time to discuss it,” she said quickly.

  “In a few more hours, it’ll be too late.”

  “I don’t want to discuss this.” Turning slightly, she started to reach for her jumpsuit, but Jake’s arm rose out of the water and stopped her.

  “If I’m going to help you, you’ve got to be honest with me,” he said.

  She looked down where his hand clamped around her wrist. “I have been honest.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Then why didn’t you tell me you were in love with Dr. Jonathan Reed?”

  CHAPTER 12

  The words jolted her like a power surge through her body. Abby stared at him, speechless, wondering how he could know something she’d never told another soul.

  “I didn’t,” she heard herself say. “I mean…that’s crazy.”

  “Love is crazy sometimes,” he said, but his eyes told her he wasn’t buying it. “That’s why you covered for him, isn’t it?”

  “I didn’t cover for him.”

  “That’s why you lied to the police.”

  “I didn’t lie.”

  “You suspected Reed was somehow involved with the deaths, but you trusted him too much to believe it.”

  “He was…he was a doctor, for God’s sake.”

  “So you covered for him, didn’t you? By the time you realized he wasn’t the man you thought he was, it was too late. Isn’t that how it happened?”

  “I didn’t cover for him.”

  “You didn’t tell the police everything.”

  “I suspected, but I thought I was wrong. I just couldn’t believe Jonathan would…I just couldn’t believe he could do something so…horrible.”

  “You covered for him because you loved him, didn’t you, Abby?”

  Horrified, she raised her hands to her face and looked at him over her fingertips. Shame uncoiled in her chest like a sharp piece of metal snapping free, cutting her from the inside out. “No.”

  “You lied to the police to cover for him. In doing so, you incriminated yourself, and he framed you, didn’t he?”

  “Stop it.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  She stared at him, shaking inside. “I don’t want to discuss this.”

  “The police realized you were lying. Only they thought you were lying to save yourself, didn’t they? They didn’t know you were lying to protect that son of a bitch Reed.”

  Abby felt sick inside. She felt stupid and gullible and shamed for having made such a terrible mistake. For loving a man who’d reciprocated by destroying her.

  Pressing her hand to her stomach, she turned away from Jake. A sob tore from her throat as the pain broke free. Pain she’d kept secret and tucked away in a place deep inside her.

  “I can’t talk about this,” she whispered.

  “We all make mistakes, Abby. We fall down. We get back up. It’s not the end of the world.”

  “Not you, Jake. You don’t make mistakes. Not like me.”

  He laughed then. Not cruelly, but with an honesty that caught her and wouldn’t let her go. “You’re kidding, right? You really believe that about me?”

  She nodded. “You’re not gullible.”

  Jake couldn’t believe she had so much faith in him, and so little in herself. “I wrote the book on gullible.”

  “Did not.”

  It surprised him that he could smile about it now. At the time it had felt as if he were having his heart ripped out. “I asked a woman to marry me three years ago,” he began. “There was a forest fire up on Elk Ridge. Took out half a dozen homes. The RMSAR team and I worked in conjunction with the smoke jumpers. A woman and her boy were left homeless.” Jake could still see Richie’s face on occasion. Still thought about him. Still loved him when it didn’t hurt too much to acknowledge it.

  “Her husband had deserted her a few months earlier. I couldn’t see a mother and her son homeless, so I invited them to stay at my cabin with me until they could find a place to live and get on their feet again.” Remembering how naive he’d been, Jake sighed. “I…ended up getting involved with this woman, Elaine. I was crazy about her. Crazy about her kid, Richie.”

  “What happened?”

  He looked over at Abby, saw the solemn look in her face. He hadn’t wanted to open up to her, hadn’t wanted to reopen these old wounds, but he needed her to trust him and figured if he shared some of his own past mistakes with her, she would be more likely to do so with him.

  “I asked her to marry me after knowing her only a month. By then we were sleeping together. It didn’t even cross my mind that she wasn’t what she appeared.” Humiliation scraped at him, but he shoved it back. “The day after I asked her to marry me, I came home from work and she was gone.”

  “Oh, Jake…I’m sorry.”

  He raised his hand. “She didn’t just walk away, Abby. She took everything I had that wasn’t nailed down. Cleaned out my bank account.” He cut Abby a hard look. “I’m a cop. You think I checked up on her?” He shook his head. “I had so much faith in my ability to read people, it didn’t even cross my mind.”

  “Did the authorities catch her? I mean, did she get away with taking your money?”

  “I figured the money was my own damn stupid fault, so I didn’t pursue it. My main concern at the time was for Richie. I had a hell of a time trying to decide how to handle it.” He looked over at her, felt the kinship between them grow even as he questioned his own judgment for the second time in his life. “I called Child Protective Services, filled them in on what happened and left it in the hands of someone who knew what the hell they were doing.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “So, you see, Abby, you’re not the only one who’s made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Even me, and I’m a cop.”

  She looked down at the water swirling around her, looking as lost as anyone Jake had ever seen.

  “Are you going to talk to me?” he asked.

  She didn’t answer, didn’t even look at him.

  “Abby, did you know what Reed had done?”

  “Not at first.”

  “How did you find out? What did you see?”

  “I saw him inject a patient once. I knew he’d been alone with the other patient, too. I knew he’d performed a late-night surgery in the old wing of the hospital. A wing that was no longer used for surgery.”

  “You confronted him about that?”

  “I asked him about it later, but he said he’d only given the man a B-12 shot. That the surgery was actually an autopsy observed by some interns and that I’d misunderstood what I’d seen.” She risked a look at him. “I believed him.”

  “Did he ask you not to tell the police?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you didn’t?”

  She nodded. “I didn’t say anything about it until after Reed took the stand in court and testified against me.”

  “Oh, Abby.” Jake ran a hand over his face. “Were you sleeping with him?”

  The question went through her like a bayonet. Shame and humiliation bled freely from the wound deep inside her. “Yes.”

  “That’s why you covered for him, isn’t it? That’s why you lied to the police…to protect him, isn’t it?”

  “He asked me not to tell them.”

  “Weren’t you worried about yourself?”

  “I was innocent. I had nothing to hide.” She looked across the water, at the snow and the trees through the steam. “It never crossed my mind that he’d done something improper. Or that he would frame me for it.”

  “He turned on you, though, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.” She was crying openly n
ow, her sobs echoing hollowly within the frozen branches and the rising steam. She knew she was losing it, her emotions, her dignity. But Jake had pushed her too far and she couldn’t stop the long-denied emotions from pouring out.

  “He came to me when I was out on bail. Came to me with roses and promises. He said it would all be over the next day. That my case would be dismissed. He had a dozen lawyers working on it around the clock. High-dollar lawyers who would see to it that I was exonerated.” A bitter laugh choked out of her. “He seduced me that night. With his lies. His promises. He used me. I was stupid enough to—”

  “No.”

  The angry tone of Jake’s voice jerked her head up. “No,” he repeated. “You weren’t stupid, Abby. Don’t ever let me hear you say that again.”

  “I slept with him that night, Jake. My fate had already been sealed and he used me one last time. He told me he loved me. And I loved him back. How stupid is that? How do you think that makes me feel?”

  “Used. Betrayed. Hurt.” His jaw worked angrily. “But not stupid. Not ever.”

  “I let him do that to me.”

  “He lied to you, Abby. You loved him. You trusted him. It wasn’t your fault.”

  * * *

  Jake couldn’t stand to see her shaking, couldn’t stand to see the tears on her cheeks and the ravaged look in her eyes. He knew better than to go to her, knew that would only be asking for trouble. But he wasn’t a strong enough man to resist.

  Before he realized he was going to move, he was touching her, pulling her to him. He saw the startled look in her eyes, but that didn’t stop him. She resisted for an instant, her hands pressing against his shoulders, then she relaxed and her body came full-length against his.

  Pleasure zinged through his brain like a high-speed jet. The knowledge that he was about to make a fatal mistake collided with logic, exploded. Jake crashed and burned. He fought the need rampaging through him, but the feel of her against him vanquished the last of his resistance.

  And he realized his feelings for Abby Nichols weren’t just physical anymore.

  The knowledge sent a spark of terror to his brain. He knew caring for her was a mistake, knew fully what it could cost him, both personally and professionally. But he couldn’t bear to see her hurting like this.

  Jake wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. He soothed her pain with his hands, stroking the back of her head, her neck and shoulders. He spoke quietly to her, telling her he would make things right. He would get to the bottom of this. He would look into her case.

  He made dangerous promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.

  His thoughts fizzled when she shifted closer. His brain went into a stall when the hardened tips of her breasts brushed against his chest. The slick flesh of her belly was taut against his. The swift rush of blood to his groin made him groan. He knew she could feel the hard shaft of his arousal against her, but she didn’t pull away and neither did he.

  She sobbed quietly in his arms, her arms around his neck.

  Jake stroked her, telling her everything would work out, that he would make things work out. Slowly, her sobs quieted. He knew he should let her go and step back. He knew they were playing with fire. Knew they were both going to get badly burned. She was an escaped convict; he was an officer sworn to uphold the law. It was worse than unethical for him to hold her this way. To touch her like this. To want her, tomorrow be damned. As a cop, his career was on the line. As a man, his personal code of honor.

  Neither of those things mattered when she pulled back and he saw his destiny reflected in the violet depths of her gaze.

  “I’m sorry he hurt you,” Jake said, his voice rough.

  “I’m okay now. I’ve been okay for a long time.”

  “It still hurts you.”

  “I’m in prison because of him.”

  Fury rushed through him, but he stomped it down. Barely. “Not for long.”

  She stiffened in his arms, but Jake caressed her shoulders, her cheek, forcing her to relax against him. He wanted her against him. Wanted that more than his next breath.

  “Don’t promise something you can’t deliver,” she said.

  “When I find him, before I ruin his life, I’m going to deck him.”

  “You’re a cop, you can’t—”

  “I’m also a man and I damn well can.”

  His chest constricted when she smiled. The sight of it did something to him. Something that made his heart pound, made it hard to take a breath. He wondered if she had any idea what she did to him. That with only a look or a sigh or a smile she could turn him inside out. He hurt for her. Emotionally because of the terrible injustice that had been inflicted upon her. Physically because he wanted her so badly the need was an ache that went all the way to his bones.

  “This is a dangerous game we’re playing, Abby.”

  “I know. I’ve never been much good at it.”

  “You’re better than you know.”

  “Yeah, well, so are you.”

  Bringing his hands out of the water, he skimmed the sides of her face with the backs of his fingers. “Maybe we’re both a little crazy to even be considering it.”

  “Definitely crazy. Maybe even a little insane.”

  “I’m going to make things right for you,” he whispered. “I promise.”

  “Jake, you’re a cop. This…what we’re doing could—”

  Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers, quieting her. He knew she was right. But right had gone out the window along with his common sense the moment he’d felt her against him.

  Jake knew he’d stepped over the line, knew if he let this go any further there was no turning back. But with the swirl of hot water on his skin, the Colorado sky full of stars around them, and the feel of Abby’s soft body against his, the barriers between them melted away.

  “I’m going to help you, Abby,” he whispered. “Tell me you know that.”

  “I know.”

  Her eyes devastated him when she looked at him. The need to protect her, to possess her, overwhelmed him. Somewhere in the back of his head a tiny voice of reason cried out he was crazy for getting involved. But he silenced the voice with ruthless accuracy.

  Jake no longer cared about the rules. Right or wrong had melded into a shade of gray and he could no longer distinguish one from the other. He didn’t want to think about his career or how this would affect it. All he knew was that he wanted this woman in his arms. Wanted her more than his next breath. Wanted her so badly he was shaking.

  “I know you’re innocent,” he said hoarsely. “I know you didn’t kill anyone. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get you out of prison.”

  When she pulled back to look at him, the tears in her eyes devastated him. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

  “Because you’ve given me hope.”

  Lowering his head, he kissed the tears from her cheeks, first the left side then the right. “I want you,” he whispered to her. “I know I shouldn’t. I know there are a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t have you. I’ve been fighting it, Abby. But you’re so close I’m touching you, and I’ve never felt so alive. Things have never felt so right for me. Not with a woman. Not ever.”

  He kissed her temple, the lobe of her ear, skimmed his mouth down her neck. She shivered, and he felt her nipples harden against his chest.

  “I want you. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you,” he said, emotion raw in his voice.

  The tears in her eyes glittered like faceted stones. “Wanting like that could cause us some problems, Jake.”

  Holding her lovely face between his hands, he kissed her. “Stop making so much sense,” he said.

  The taste of her mouth heated his blood. The restraint coiled inside him sprang free, a shackle snapping, releasing the beast. He felt out of control, the threat of an irrevocable mistake taunting him, but Jake didn’t care. All he cared about was the woman in his arms. The woman who’d been hurt and betrayed.

&nb
sp; The woman he wanted to make love to.

  Silently, he vowed to see her through this. He vowed to make things right for her. And if it was the last thing he did, he vowed to see justice served.

  She sighed, and the last of his control fled. Urgency burned him. He deepened the kiss and she opened to him. He reveled in the velvety interior of her mouth. He fed on her like a starving man, devouring the sweetness of her lips. The feel of her body against his maddened him. He’d wanted to take this slow, give himself a chance to cool off and to think about what he was about to do. Jake wasn’t used to tumbling headlong into disaster. But that’s exactly what he did. Whispering her name, he skimmed his hands down her shoulders to her breasts. Utter perfection met his palms. He heard her gasp, but he didn’t stop touching her. He couldn’t even if he’d wanted to. The madness had him firmly in its grip, and he’d given up on trying to fight it.

  He stroked the tips of her breasts, her tiny nipples beading beneath his touch. He was aware of her labored breaths in his ears. The bubbling of the water swirling around them. The warmth of the rising steam caressing exposed flesh.

  “Stand up,” he whispered.

  She looked at him, her eyes wide and uncertain. “Jake—”

  He smiled. “I love it that you’re shy.”

  “I’m not. It’s just…cold.”

  “I’ll keep you warm.”

  Taking her hands in his, he eased her to her feet. The cold shocked his skin as he rose up out of the water. Her beauty shocked his senses. The moment didn’t seem real. He stared at her, awed and reeling and a little overwhelmed as the moisture from their bodies evaporated into the frigid air.

  “You take my breath away,” he whispered.

  She smiled. “That’s just the cold.”

  He laughed. “I know the difference, Blondie. Believe me, what you do to me has nothing to do with the temperature.”

  Cupping his hands, he captured a handful of water, then let it cascade over her shoulders and breasts. She shivered, and he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the mouth. The taste of her intoxicated him like a powerful narcotic. He skimmed kisses down her throat, running his tongue over her flesh, tasting her, licking the water from her skin. A tremor went through her when he reached her breasts. Leaning forward, he took her nipple into his mouth.