A Bride for the Texas Cowboy

by Sinclair Jayne

  “Like hell,” he said, feeling like the house was crashing in slow motion around him. It was like the tasting room all over again only emotional destruction, not physical.

  “Language,” Cruz and Axel corrected at the same time.

  August was tempted to really give them some language, but one quick look at Diego’s bright, curious eyes was enough to keep him quiet for now.

  “Okay,” he said. “Okay.” Although nothing was okay about it. He could fix this. He had to. “See you in a few.”

  He toted his duffel bag to the master suite in his wing and just to make sure looked in on the room she’d been using. Pristine. As impersonal as the designer had made it. He stalked back to the great room filled with determination.

  “Cat and I will be back for dessert,” he said recklessly.

  “Ummmm.” Cruz looked worried. “Maybe you should wait until tomorrow.”

  “Hell no.”

  “August,” Axel stood and followed him out.

  “Save it,” he said, jerking the slider all the way open.

  “Stop playing with her. You think she’s so strong, but she’s really fragile.”

  “Cat’s the strongest, most determined woman I know, and what about forty-five acres of grapevines with plans to plant another one hundred and fifty or two hundred more makes you think I’m playing? You think you know everything? You don’t. You think you know me? You don’t.”

  “Not all my fault, Auggie.”

  His mother’s name for him. He hadn’t heard it in nearly eighteen years. He balled his fists and faced his brother on the patio. Two cowboys about to duel with words instead of guns, but instead of high noon it was dusky twilight with a full moon rising.

  “You left and didn’t come back. You came into your share of the ranch and hired a crew to work on the house without consulting me. You hired Cat to design your vineyard but didn’t let her stay. You hired crews to dig up perfect grazing land, a different crew to build the trellis, geologists, soil specialists and then a crew to care for the vines and another to make wine from someone else’s grapes. You’re not doing your own work.”

  August felt like Axel had hit him.

  “I was in on the planning,” he defended.

  “Planning,” Axel snarked. “How about getting your hands dirty? Verflucht isn’t really you. It’s just a fancy, trendy, money-making idea. You don’t have full buy-in.”

  “The hell I don’t. Verflucht is me; it’s Cat. And she’s going to be living her dream here, and I’m going to be living my dream and building a life with her. I love her. I’ve always loved her. But I didn’t think I deserved her because I didn’t think I could give her the family she wanted. You and I can barely be in a room without chewing on each other. Dad didn’t even talk to me after Aurik died. And then Mom was gone.” He wasn’t making any sense. Everything he’d kept so tight just started to bubble up and he was helpless to stop it. If he had a plug, he’d pull it.

  “Cat was there for me. She’s always been there for me. And yeah, I screwed up. I was young and dumb and didn’t think I deserved her because I’m a selfish prick who let my brother die because I wanted to finish building my rocket. But I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I came home. I am home. I’m staying home. I’m here. And we’re going to learn how to be brothers and you’re going to stop beating yourself up about Aurik because it was my fault he followed you. My fault he fell in the river. Mine. Not yours.”

  Damn, he couldn’t even see Axel clearly. It was like he was underwater.

  “You asked me to watch him and I said okay, but I got distracted. And he went after you. I didn’t even notice he was gone until I heard you screaming to call 911 and you were holding him running up the hill. Even then you had to call. I just stood there and stared.”

  “August.” Axel seemed to want to stem the tide, but it was a flash flood of words and confessions that they both seemed to realize had to come out.

  “I failed you and I failed Aurik and Mom and Dad. I failed Cat when she needed me the most. And I failed the child I didn’t get to have, but I’m done failing. Do you hear me? I’m done. I’m making my stand. I’m living here with Cat as my wife. And I’m living here with my brother and his wife and my nephew Diego. We’re going to be a family and learn to get along, and right now I’m going to go get Cat because she’s my whole world and I bought her the perfect ring and I’m going to marry her in the East Barn with the best view in Texas and you’re going to be my best man and we’re going to be happy. All of us. Together. So don’t harsh my buzz with all your warnings and so-called common sense.”

  He couldn’t even breathe through his speech, and he wasn’t sure if his words made sense because he sure hadn’t thought any of that out ahead of time, and somehow it must have started raining even though the stars were coming out, because his cheeks were all wet.

  “So, back off, Axel. I am going to figure out what’s wrong between me and Cat and fix it and then I’m going to get down on my knee and ask her the most important question of my life. And then I am bringing her back up here to celebrate with dessert and maybe a bottle of wine because Cat is going to be my bride as soon as I can arrange it. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved and the only woman I can imagine sharing my life with. Cat is my forever woman.”

  His voice rang out with determination, and Axel and Cruz, who had joined him out on the back patio stared at him as if a little spooked.

  He spun around to head to Catalina’s new truck that he was going to give her after he gave her his ring and his heart, but Catalina was right there—blocking his path. Her eyes were huge and mysterious in the beginning of the moonlight. She held an armful of what looked like photo albums or scrapbooks.

  Her mouth opened and then closed again. She shifted her weight nervously.

  “Hi.”

  Silence. Then Cat marched over to Axel and held out the albums.

  “I found those in a trunk in your bunkhouse. I’m sorry to go through your things, but you said you’d taken everything personal, and I needed the space for my clothes.”

  “No, you don’t,” August called out behind her.

  “I do. The bunkhouses have no closets. Men,” Catalina huffed.

  “I have a huge closet as big as a normal-sized bedroom in the house all for you,” August said, pissed about the audience, and pissed that he hadn’t had a chance to prepare a speech for Cat.

  “Good for you,” she said. “I’m sure you need it for all your party clothes in your new Denver facility—I believe a night club, restaurant, and hip new bar where patrons can learn mixology were only a few of the new amenities you are planning.”

  Damn!

  How had she heard about that? “I only…”

  “I don’t care.” Cat held one palm out like a stop sign. “I really don’t. Save your lame excuses for the sleek, glammed-up, sparkly lip-gloss babes who hang on your one good arm and your empty words. It’s your life. Your business. I’m not involved in that part of your empire.”

  “Cat, I didn’t…”

  She walked by him like he was invisible.

  Irrelevant.

  “You should keep these in the main house now, Axel. Somewhere safe.” Her voice was soft, and her expression earnest while she’d been spitting fire at him just seconds ago, August noted resentfully feeling blindsided and not really sure how to get back on the right footing with Cat.

  “They are family pictures. Your pictures. Your history. Diego will want to see them. And Cruz. And any children you two have together. And Anders won’t always ride on the back of a bull looking for a way out of your shadow. Someday he’ll bring home a cowgirl and have a few little Wolfs, and it’s part of all of your legacies.”

  She held out the books. “Take them, Axel, please. It’s time to stop running from the past,” she said. “Embrace it and build a future on it.”

  Axel reached out for the albums like he was in a dream.

  “I think you forgot one of the brothers,” A
ugust said trying to keep the wash of panic from swallowing him. Axel got so many words and all he’d gotten was a cool, disinterested gaze and a ‘hi,’ like she was a little surprised to see him.

  “You’re right. I did because you weren’t here. Anders was here working on the ranch for over a week on his break. But not you. The one who was so ardently proclaiming that he was putting down roots.”

  Cat jammed her now empty hands in her back pockets.

  “Axel was right. You don’t stick. You’re already off planning the next big thing.”

  “Not true.” He felt like she’d struck him.

  “Think I’ll take these inside.” Axel started backing away, holding the photo albums in front of him as if they and Cat were radioactive.

  The panels of glass unfolded and slid shut with a final click. For a moment, Axel stared at him through the glass, his face a mask of something August wasn’t sure what. Cruz slid her arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder and then Axel kissed the top of her head and turned away.

  August was left to find his own happy ever after. Determination in every cell of his body, he stalked after Cat. At least something had gone right for one of them.

  And now time to get his own happy every after.

  He caught up to her just as Cat slid her ass on the seat of her old truck. Jesus, she was still driving that thing? She slammed the door shut. Luckily the night was warm, and her window was down. He reached through and grabbed her keys.

  “Not cute. Give them back.”

  “Hear me out.”

  “You had your chance,” Cat said.

  “I’m not done talking.”

  “I’m done listening. August Wolf, you are the dumbest man ever.”

  “So you’ll have to go slow and easy on me, Cat.”

  She crossed her arms and huffed out a breath.

  “How much did you overhear?”

  “All of it.”

  “Good, then we can cut to the chase.”

  “No. We. Can’t.” She enunciated each word. “First because I am not running. Second because you are not getting off the hook that easily. Explain yourself!”

  “I had to leave. I had two deals about to crash and burn and a lot of people’s jobs depend on those deals going through.”

  “Are the deals top secret? With the CIA? NSA?”

  Damn, she was pissed. “I should have explained better.” He conceded. “But I didn’t think I’d be gone this long. I’d hoped to be back in a couple of days.”

  Outrage radiated from her. She was practically shooting sparks.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have gone to Denver, Mr. I’m-All-About-Verflucht-Now. Putting roots down deep.”

  He leaned into the truck, crowding her.

  “I’m not making a deal in Denver. Maybe someday. But not now. You’re my priority. You and Verflucht and my brothers.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were going?” He could tell by her voice that she was softening, and relief washed through him. “You were just gone. I had to hear from Axel. And you didn’t explain. And you made a big deal about wanting to do things right this time, and we had a date planned, but you just disappeared like you used to.”

  Damn. Damn. Damn. August wanted to pull out his hair. Howl at the moon. How could he be so smart and yet so stupid with the one woman who mattered?

  He caught a telltale sheen in her beautiful eyes.

  “Cat, baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t want to tell you how serious the business problem was because I didn’t want you to doubt me or my commitment to you again.”

  “You’ve said that before, that you didn’t mean to hurt me, but you do, August. Over and over.” Her eyes were steady on his, but full of pain. “You left before with no explanation. When I told you about the baby. And then when you hired Derek you wouldn’t say why and this time was just like that. You said we were going to go out and it would be special and then you were gone.”

  He rocked back on his heels as the raw anguish in her voice and face hit him.

  “People always leave me. I always lose them.”

  People. Not just him, and with a rush of too-late clarity it hit him. Her mother had left Bill Clemmens, but she’d also left Catalina behind. He barely remembered her. And then his mother, who had taken Catalina under her wing died from grief. And then she’d lost their baby.

  He wanted to scream his carelessness at the sky and the mocking moon. He’d always thought of Catalina as so strong, and she was, but she still needed him. And he loved that. Absolutely loved it. But he had to communicate better.

  “Cat.” He whispered her name, and then he reached in, unlocked the door, opened it, and pulled her into his arms.

  “You are still supposed to be wearing the sling,” she said, still letting him hold her.

  “I’m mostly healed and have been doing all of the exercises. I’m thinking about getting surgery after harvest when things slow down for us, but I need to hold you.”

  He nuzzled her neck, pulled the elastic off her hair and rolled it over his wrist. He had a collection or four going.

  “You always do that,” she complained mildly.

  “They connect me to you when we are apart,” he said. “I have a physical and visual reminder. Cat, I am so sorry. I truly planned to be gone only a few days, but everything that could go wrong did, and I worried that if I talked to you about it, you would doubt my commitment.”

  “Which is stupid because with all of your silence, I did doubt.”

  “I know. The smartest guy in the room is also the biggest dumbass at times,” he said ruefully, kissing the top of her head. “But also I was afraid if I told you I was leaving in person, I wouldn’t be able to go. You tie me up, and I wanted a clear head. I thought I could operate separately. Be the businessman with the world and the lover with you, but I am going to have to open up and have you in both worlds,” he said softly. “I need to change.”

  “I love you the way you are,” Cat said.

  Love. She still loved him. She sucked in a breath as if steeling herself for something challenging.

  “Change isn’t words, August. It shows in actions. It shows in different outcomes.”

  He saw it now from her point of view. He’d said all the right things. He’d made love to her for hours. But the minute there was a problem he’d quietly taken off to save the deal, save the world. Be the island so he could operate.

  “You’re right,” he said feeling helpless.

  “It didn’t even occur to you to ask me if I wanted to come?”

  He opened his mouth, the answer right there…but it wasn’t an answer. It was a justification. And it was wrong.

  “I still had things I needed in Oregon,” she pressed. “I still have a few acres of grapes I need to tend off and on, and maybe I need to hire someone in Oregon who can help when I can’t be there. But you didn’t even think about that. I had to go on my own.”

  “Cat, I am so sorry.”

  The Jeep. She’d gone to Oregon without him. Closed up her life there alone. While he played dealmaker. And toyed with making a new deal even though he’d promised her and himself that he was going to stop expanding his other enterprises to focus on Verflucht. And more importantly, he realized with a wash of shame, his relationship with Cat. She deserved a man who put her first, not just said he would.

  “I messed up,” he admitted, feeling shaken to his soul. He held her closer into his chest. “But, please, I don’t want to fight. I really need to hold you.”

  “You are. And we’re not fighting. I’m talking. I’m explaining. I can’t marry a man who doesn’t trust me enough to tell me what’s going on. Without trust, we have nothing.”

  “I trust you,” he said. “You’re the only person I do trust.” He smiled bitterly. “It’s me I don’t trust, Cat. It’s me. I feel like I’ve failed so many people in my life—Aurik, Axel when our family fell apart. You when you found out you were pregnant and lost our baby. I want to be a bet
ter man. I want to be a man you can trust.”

  “Trust takes time and commitment and effort. Every day. It’s not words. It’s action and intention and vulnerability and communication every day even if you’re not present.”

  “I’m going to be present.”

  Catalina smiled and smoothed his shaggy hair out of his eyes.

  “I never expected you to be here every day. I know Wolf Cowboy is important to you. I’m proud of all you’ve built. I don’t mind when you leave. I just want to know about it ahead of time or get a timeline and explanation as soon as possible.”

  “I can do that.”

  “I need you to be present here.” She touched his sternum. “And here.” She ruffled her fingers through his hair.

  He caught her fingers and held them to his lips and kissed them one by one. “You are in my heart and my head. All I could think about was getting home to you,” he said. “I kept thinking if I worked harder and pushed more, I could get more done so I could come home sooner and not have to leave again soon. I hate to be away from you. I hate it. I miss you so much.”

  “You do know I don’t have actual roots. I can pick up and go with you sometimes.”

  “Would you do that?”

  She nodded.

  His heart felt full, and he could breathe again.

  He cupped her heart-shaped face.

  “I missed you. So much. My life feels flat and only half full when you are not at my side.”

  She smiled, but her eyes teared up.

  He reached into his back pocket and dropped to one knee.

  Catalina’s mouth dropped open, and she looked like a cartoon depiction of disbelief.

  “You aren’t really serious right now,” she breathed.

  “Give me the chance now to tell you how I feel and where I want to go. Catalina, you were a friend to me when we were children and a lover when we were in college. I can’t imagine my life without you, and I hope I never have to. Would you please make me the happiest man in Texas, even happier than Axel is now, by agreeing to be my wife? I think that fell within the time parameters. I hope.”

  She stared down at him and then she laughed. “Even with your proposal you are in competition with Axel.”