Protective (The Houston Defiance MC Series Book 5)
Page 12
I flick the safety on the gun, lowering it as I turn to Texas who’s standing back watching me with a warm half-smile on his face. “Feel better?”
My shoulders straighten, and I stand taller. Somehow, it’s given me the boost I needed. I place the gun on the side table. “Yes, thank you. Why did you step back?”
He grins. “That was a release you needed to have on your own, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m here and if you wanna keep going, I’ll stand behind you.”
Taking in a long, deep breath, I feel freer somehow. “I think I’m good.”
He glances past me to the paper on the wall. “You finally started nailing the target.”
I let out a laugh. “I was going rogue there in the end.”
He leans in closer, raising his brow. “It was kinda hot. Very Lara Croft, but with red hair… obviously.”
Rolling my eyes, I shove his arm. “Thank you for knowing what I needed and not making me feel like an idiot.”
His hand snakes out around my waist as his eyes meet mine. “You could never be an idiot, Fin. Not in my eyes.” His forehead presses against mine. The move simple and sweet, not something I ever thought I would see from the usually cocky and playful Texas. I bring my hand up to caress his cheek, then lean up on my toes and press my lips tenderly to his.
A jolt of electricity surges through my lips when he touches me.
Whatever this is between us, it’s intoxicating, completely and undeniably addictive. I can’t get enough. Even if I did want to avoid it at first, I don’t know if I can stay away now. Even if it means my career is on the line.
Because this—this feels too fucking good to let go.
“Texas?”
His kind eyes meet mine. “Yeah?”
“This has helped. I mean… a lot. But… would you stay with me tonight? I don’t mean for… that, but just to be there?”
He pulls me into him further. “Whatever you need from me, Fin, you got it.”
I lean in resting my sore cheek against his hard chest. “Texas?”
“Mmm?”
“Can we go to bed now. I’m fucking tired.”
He pulls back with a nod. “I’ll get Chains to clear this up. C’mon, let’s get you upstairs.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. I snuggle into his side as we walk in past the outdoor gym and through the back door, inside.
Chains is sitting at a table with Chills. Their two-year-old son, Kobe, is cradled in Chills’ arms as they sit together as a family. Knowing Kobe needs lifesaving surgery makes me look at them differently. They were a tight-knit family before, now I see them even stronger. Chills is one of the fiercest women I know. Working as a doctor, working for the club, all while taking care of her son. If she can do that, then I can find a way to make this work with Texas and me.
There has to be a way.
Chains glances up, giving us a head bob. “How’d you do?”
I grimace. “I don’t think I hit the target so much as demolished it.”
Chains chuckles as Chills warmly smiles.
“Did it feel good to get some of those pent-up frustrations out?” Chills asks.
Nodding, I let out a long breath. “You have no idea.”
She runs her hand along her son’s sleeping cheek as she grins. “Oh, I think I might. You heading off to bed?”
“I’m exhausted, but I see you’re having family time, so we can go back out and clean up out there, then we can go to bed—”
“Nah, you’ve had a huge day. You should have been in bed ages ago, Fin. Go. Rest. Let me clean up out there. It’s a ten-minute job. Chills and Kobe will still be here when I get back,” Chains tells me.
“You sure?”
Texas spins me and starts pushing me toward the stairs. “He’s sure. Now, off to bed.”
“Exactly. You need to sleep, Fin. Don’t worry about us, we’re fine, hon. Look after yourself,” Chills offers.
I admit defeat and start walking with Texas. “Thank you,” I call back.
Texas and I make our way upstairs toward my room as he continues to hold me close to him, and I let him because, honestly, it makes me feel better.
Opening my door, we step in, and when he closes the door behind him, it’s like I can finally breathe again. Being alone with Texas, for some reason, makes me feel safer than I have in the last few days. I know, without any doubt, he will always protect me from Maxen and his men. Texas makes me feel safe, cared for, wanted, and outside of work, I haven’t felt that for a very long time.
“You want me to sleep on the floor?” Texas asks as he shrugs out of his cut, placing it carefully on the desk.
I subtly shake my head. “Can you just… hold me tonight?”
He moves in, softly pressing his lips to mine. The kiss isn’t forceful, not passionate, just delicate and tender. He slowly pulls back, running his nose along mine. “I can do that.”
My stomach swirls as I bite down on my bottom lip. He smiles, then turns, yanking his shirt over his head. My eyes widen, darting all around the room to look anywhere but at him. Then he kicks off his boots and starts unbuckling his belt. My pulse rapid fires when I turn away from him, hearing his pants fall to the floor, and I assume come off. He chuckles as he makes his way over to the bed, yanking back the cover and climbs in.
I risk glancing over to see his strong chest on display. Tattoos take over his entire right arm, and a dragon sits on his left bicep. Some script writing runs across his right pectoral. I can’t read what it says from here, but I really want to know.
“I’ll close my eyes while you change, Fin. Don’t worry,” he tells me with a cocky grin.
Letting out a small exhale, I make my way to my luggage and pull out my pink pajama set, and then I walk to the bathroom to get changed. I know Texas and I have a connection, but I’m not ready to get changed in front of him just yet. After quickly changing, I make my way back out to the bedroom. He’s waiting, hands behind his head, lying on the bed looking so fucking sexy, I can barely stand it as his eyes linger slowly up and down my body.
Swallowing hard, I make my way over to the bed and slide in beside his warm body. “You’re looking quite comfortable there, Texas.”
He smirks. “You’re looking sexy as hell there, Fin.”
I roll my eyes as I nuzzle into his side. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I rest my hand on his left pec, my eyes falling to the script on his chest.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
That seems deep for someone as carefree as Texas.
My fingers slide out, running over the black ink. “What does this mean?”
He inhales, then lets the breath out, long and heavy. “It’s a quote from a poem by Dylan Thomas. Basically, it means everyone dies sooner or later, but it doesn’t mean we should give up or give in to death. Instead, we should fight fiercely and bravely against it.”
Raising my brow. “That’s insightful. Was it the club who inspired it?”
His muscles tense beneath me, and I glance up at him. “No… my mother.”
My stomach tightens remembering what he told me, that his father beat his mother to death. That he’s basically been traumatized by it, and it’s shaped who he is today. “You loved her.”
His jaw ticks, and he nods. “So much.”
I lean in, pressing my entire body against his. “Do you think you moving from Jersey was the right choice for you?”
His hand moves up slowly, and he starts playing with my hair. “I’m lying in a bed with the world’s most gorgeous fucking woman, what do you think?”
“Honestly, Texas.” I smile.
His other hand comes up wrapping around me, holding me to him. “Leaving Jersey, leaving everything my father did behind me, was the only choice I could have made. Staying wasn’t good for anyone. The person I was becoming in Jersey… let’s just say my vices here are a hell of a lot tamer than the direction I was headed.”
/>
My eyes shift up to look at him. “Vices?”
His hand comes out running a finger down my still swollen cheek. “Being a biker means you get away with shit. You can let your frustrations out, your anger, you can channel feelings and emotions, especially if you don’t know how to process, or like me, if you don’t even know how you’re feeling them at all. When people come at the club, we hit them right back, and we have ways of covering that shit up. But we all have issues here, Fin, every brother has a back story. It’s why we need that release. To get that energy out, and we take it out on the assholes who try to hurt us or the people we care about. We don’t go looking for it, but it always finds us, and we’re generally the ones to finish it.”
“So, your vices are hurting people?”
“My vices are protecting those I care about by any means necessary.”
“And if you were still in Jersey?”
He grimaces. “Then I fear I wouldn’t be doing what I do out of protection of those I care about. It would be for the need of it. For the dominance of it all. I was breaking in Jersey. I wanted to be in control, to be able to outmatch my father and show him he didn’t rule over me. That man proved to me I was wrong when he broke my arm, fractured my ribs and concussed me to the point of hospitalization for three days.”
“Oh, Texas…” I snuggle into him further.
“It’s only when I saw a member of the New Jersey Defiance in the hospital, he was there getting his road rash tended to, we got to talking, and he told me all about club life and how if I wanted to escape, maybe club life is something I should think about. That the brotherhood is a place that could protect me from the assholes of the world and teach me to fend for myself. I have to say, at the time, it sounded too good to be true, but I went with him to the NJ Defiance clubhouse. Their president at the time, Retro, took me in, they cleaned me up, told me all about club life, said I’d be a good fit, though all their prospect placements were filled. He told me he’d ring around and check for availability in other locations if I wasn’t afraid of traveling. At that point, I honestly thought the idea of getting as far away from my father was fucking genius.”
“And that’s how you came to Houston?”
“Yeah, Retro called Frenzy, the president here at the time, and asked if I could come. Gave me a glowing reference. I’m just so fucking happy they had an opening at the time.”
“It’s crazy when you think how many pieces had to fall into place for us to meet.”
“You’re so fucking right… me going to NJ Defiance, you falling out with the Baron to help us with his case. If things like that didn’t happen, we would never have met.”
“I don’t even want to think about that.” I sigh, looking up at him. “My world is so much brighter with you in it, Texas.”
He leans forward pressing his lips to mine, then rests back down on the pillow. “You’re the brightness in my world.”
I can’t help it as I let out a long, drawn-out yawn.
Texas chuckles, wrapping his arms around me tight as I pull up the blanket. “Time to sleep. Today’s been huge. Now you need to rest and recover.”
Nodding, I slide my head into his chest.
“Goodnight, Texas.”
“Night, Fin.”
Closing my eyes, Texas’ warmth envelops me, making me feel safe and cherished. I wish my mind would relax, but all I see behind my closed lids is Maxen’s goon’s head exploding all over my body. My muscles tense as I try to not let the imagery play repeatedly in my mind, but it stays there, haunting me.
“My mind won’t shut down. I keep reliving it.”
He tightens his grip around me, making me feel safe and secure. “I would gladly take your bad memories away.”
“Just you being here helps.”
“I’m always going to be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
A slow smile touches my lips, and I can’t help but believe him.
And that gives me all the peace I need.
TEXAS
The Next Morning
Waking up with Fin in my arms is great, but even so, I feel like I am experiencing it all from a distance. Like I am a bystander. I can’t explain the damn detachment. In a way, it feels like cotton wool wrapped around my brain distorting my senses. This is the reason I left New Jersey, because I knew there was something wrong with me emotionally. Because of this disconnect.
It just never occurred to me that when it came to having feelings for a woman, I would react the same way.
It’s daunting.
Intimidating.
Somewhat discouraging.
As I lay here with Fin nestled into me with her hair fanned out over my chest, I don’t know how to handle my emotions. I should be elated. This is what I have wanted for so fucking long, and I am happy, just why don’t I feel it, like deep down in my soul?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
She murmurs a little, then she slowly wakes, her eyes fluttering open. Her head slowly shifts up to look at me with a warm smile. “Morning.”
“Sleep okay?”
“Took me a bit to nod off, but once I did, I was fine.”
“What’s your plans for today?” I ask.
She stretches her arms out as she shifts to sit up. “I guess I’ll sit in here and work on the files I brought with me. You have Wi-Fi, right?”
“You’ve met Neon, yeah? Tall guy, tattoos, chip on his shoulder about everyone calling him a nerd when he is one? That guy?”
She grins. “Yeah, you’re right, stupid question. Of course, Neon has Wi-Fi over this whole place.”
I move to a sitting position with her, and her eyes shift to my bare chest, eyeing me obviously. “You’re such a pervert,” I tease her.
She turns her head away, stands and makes her way out of the bed with my eyes instantly following the curves of her body. “Pfft, like you can talk. I know you’re checking out my ass right now.”
“Then I guess we’re made for each other.”
She makes way to her luggage, rummaging through it and pulls out a tight black dress, one I would normally see her in at work, and she walks off to the bathroom. I cock my head to the side. Guess my fearless woman is back. She closes the door behind her, and I move to get dressed.
As I throw my cut over my shoulders, she strides out of the bathroom, looking hot as sin. “Fuck.”
Her eyes meet mine, and the corner of her lips turn up. “I have to get back into routine. Even if that routine isn’t at work, I still have to feel like I am going to work. You know what I mean?”
Nodding my head, I walk over and pull her to me. “Anyone ever tell you you’re the hottest attorney in all of Houston?”
She purses her lips. “I think Kevlar would debate that fact, seeing Sunshine is also an attorney.”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “He’s biased.”
“And you’re not?” She lets out a small laugh.
“Nope! Completely unbiased opinion here, just pure facts.”
Fin detaches from me, then pulls out her laptop. “Okay, I have work I need to do, so if you don’t mind?”
Raising my brow, I laugh. “You’re kicking me out?”
“You can’t babysit me all fucking day, Texas. I’m sure you have shit to do too. Plus, I’m at the club, I have an entire brotherhood as frontline defense.”
She’s right, she’s well protected now. I can leave her up here to work on her own without worry of Maxen’s men getting to her. “Okay, but if you need me—”
“I’ll either come get you or call.”
Hesitating, I turn back. “You sure you’re okay?”
She rushes over, grabs my shoulders and spins me forcing me toward the door. “I just need to work to keep my mind active and off the problems I am facing. So, please… let me do that, Texas.”
Opening the door, I turn back to face her. “You should have some breakfast.”
“I’ll come down in a bit, once I have all my emails and shit dealt with from yest
erday.”
She seems laser-focused, so I simply nod my head and turn, heading out of the room into the hall. The click of the door lets me know she’s locked herself away. I have to trust she is going to be okay in there by herself, so I make my way downstairs. As I enter the main room, the smell of our usual breakfast tacos drifts through the air. My stomach rumbles as I make my way to the large table where Zero, Cherry, Prinie, Wraith, Kevlar, Sunshine, Chills, Chains, Koda, and Thayleah are all sitting. It seems all the happy couples are eating their breakfast together today. Sadie and Lucas, Kevlar’s kids, run around the table playing tag as Prinie rocks baby Sephy in her stroller. Two-year-old, Kobe, sits in his booster seat, playing with his food, as Chains tries to feed it to him unsuccessfully. The scrambled eggs ending up mostly on him and on the floor, instead of in Kobe’s mouth.
Sliding in beside Koda, he raises his chin to me as I enter mid-conversation.
“So you’re telling me that you seriously let the scorpion bite you. Even though you weren’t one hundred percent sure if this Vance guy was going to give you the antivenom?” Zero asks.
Koda shrugs. “I had to, it was the only way I could get an audience with the heads of the Scorpio Society and make them see the shit Vance was doing behind their backs. The only way I could bring him down.”
“Fucking risky move, Koda. If it didn’t work—”
“I’d be dead right now. Yeah, I know, but Brady and Tinsley were there, I knew they had my back.”