Demanding All Of You

by Ali Parker

  “It’s not holding me back. It’s my life. I’m working toward something. I’m learning along the way. Every farm I go to, every owner I work with, I’m learning. I’m learning what works and what doesn’t. One day, I will put all that knowledge to good use on my own farm.”

  She nodded. “All right. I get it. I’m not going to pressure you. I think you need to have a conversation with him, though.”

  “About what? Isn’t that the last thing you do after one of these incidents?”

  She laughed. “It isn’t an incident. It was a tryst. In your case, you do need to have a conversation. Don’t you technically work for him?”

  “I work with him,” I clarified. “You’re right, I do need to talk to him. Apologize and let him know that it won’t happen again. I need to get out of there. I can’t be around him. He’s too tempting. It’s like trying to deny myself the last piece of chocolate cake with no one around to scold me.”

  “I need to see this man. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so worked up over a guy.”

  I groaned. “I know. He’s dangerous. Toxic. I don’t trust myself around him.”

  She laughed. “You got it bad.”

  “I know,” I confessed.

  “I have to get back. What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think I can face him just yet.”

  We left the restaurant and walked back to the salon. We said our goodbyes before I got in my truck. I checked my phone to see if Damion had called. I hadn’t heard it ring but I wanted to be sure. If he called and said he needed me, I had to go out there. He was my client, rather his farm was. I wasn’t ready to abandon all my responsibilities. I would have to swallow my humiliation and suck it up if something had come up.

  He didn’t call. I wondered if he was regretting what happened. Maybe he didn’t want to see me either. That was even more humiliating. It made me feel like I had either sucked at the sex or had come on too strong and he wanted me to stay the hell away.

  As I held my phone, it began to ring. I didn’t recognize the name or the area code. “Hello?” I answered.

  “Is this Alexandria Hammel?” a male voice asked.

  “Yes,” I said, still not sure where the conversation was going. “Who is this?”

  “My name is Wayne Cobb. I got your number from a friend of a friend.”

  “I see. What is it I can help you with Mr. Cobb?”

  He chuckled. “I’m hoping you can tell me that. I find myself in a bit of a pickle.”

  I hadn’t met the man and I couldn’t look him in the eye to get a good read on his character, but I liked him. “What kind of pickle are you in?”

  “It’s my farm. I just can’t seem to get things to go right. I heard about you and thought I would reach out and beg for mercy.”

  I laughed. “Mercy, huh? Where is this farm? I don’t recognize the zip code.”

  “Well, there’s the rub. I’m in Wyoming.”

  I cringed. “I don’t know. That’s kind of out of my way.”

  “I’d be willing to pay for your travel expenses. If you could come out, take a look around, and give me an idea, I’ll pay you for your time. This is my Hail Mary. I need some help.”

  I blew out a breath. “Can I think about it and give you a call back?”

  “Listen, I know I’m outside your normal jurisdiction, but I would really appreciate any help you can give. I’m good for the money. Because I’m so far out of the way, I would be willing to pay you more than your usual fee.”

  The way he proposed the deal was different than the way the other asshole said it. Wayne was giving me a choice. He wasn’t demanding. He was asking, begging almost. That was different. That was flattering.

  “I will let you know by the end of the day,” I told him.

  “Sounds good. I’ll be waiting. I’m desperate here. I don’t want to beg, but if that’s what it takes…”

  I laughed. “No need to beg. I’ll call you one way or another.”

  I put the phone back in the holder and started the truck. A job in Wyoming wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but I wouldn’t feel the least bit guilty about charging him more for my services. With the extra money, I would be one step closer to owning my own place.

  My elation over the job was short-lived. If I took the job in Wyoming, I wouldn’t be able to work with Damion anymore. I supposed that was a good thing. It could be the answer to my problem. It would give myself and Damion a way out of the little predicament we’d found ourselves in.

  But it was in Wyoming.

  I groaned. “Dammit.”

  I put the truck in reverse and backed out. I drove home, mulling over what to do. I already knew what I was going to do. I had to take the job. It was the right thing to do. Wayne sounded liked a good guy and a change of scenery was a good thing. My time at Oliver’s farm was up. It had been up for weeks. I had been lingering. It was time to let go. Time to move on.

  I had quit being needed there a long time ago. I had stuck around because I had developed an attachment to Oliver Senior. When he died, I couldn’t let go. I knew he wasn’t there, but I had felt his spirit in a way. Then Damion and little Oliver showed up and my attachment transferred to them.

  Sadie was right. I couldn’t stay any longer. I was going to fall for the man. Hell, if I was being honest, maybe I already had.

  I had to get out with my heart intact.

  Chapter 21

  Damion

  Two days and nothing from Alex. I thought about sending her a text, letting her know I was sorry for my behavior. I knew better than to get mixed up with someone I worked with. I had never done it in the past.

  “Are you sad?” Oliver asked from the backseat.

  I looked in the mirror. “What? No. Why?”

  “You look sad.”

  I put on a smile. “I was just deep in thought. I’m not sad.”

  I parked the car outside our home, unable to stop myself from looking for her truck. It wasn’t there. I knew it wouldn’t be, but I had to look anyway. Oliver saw what I was feeling. I was bummed. Not sad but bummed. I had ruined something that could have been really good. I had allowed myself to get caught up in a feeling. I had allowed passion to rule my actions. Passion and lust were dangerous emotions.

  “Can I go see the horses?” Oliver asked.

  “Let’s put your backpack away first,” I told him.

  “Okay,” he said, bounding up the steps.

  I followed behind him, leaving the door open for a little fresh air in the house. “Do you want a snack?”

  “No thanks,” he shouted from his bedroom.

  “Change your clothes,” I hollered, knowing the trip to the barn would likely result in him getting dirty.

  He returned to the living room a few minutes later wearing his play clothes. “I’m ready!”

  I walked with him to the barn, moving to the paddock where Fiona was lazily eating some hay. “Do you want to pet her?” I asked.

  “Yes. Can I feed her carrots?”

  I smiled, nodding. It had become his regular thing with her. Alex had helped him get over his fear of the large animals and was warming up to them rather quickly. Almost too quickly. “Yes. Let’s go get some from the bag.”

  He shoved a couple in the pockets of his jeans and carried one back out. I watched him snap it in two, just like Alex had done apparently. He’d given me a full accounting of the day in the barn several times.

  “Watch me, Dad,” he said, climbing up on the rail of the fence.

  I stood behind him, my hands out, ready to catch him if he fell. Alex would lecture me about not letting him be a boy but falling into a horse paddock was not an option. He held out his hand and called out for Fiona. She let out a snort and ambled over to him. She nibbled the carrot out of his hand.

  “Good job, buddy, good job.”

  “When can I ride one of the horses?” he asked.

  He’d asked about a hundred times. “I think we can work up t
o it, but I’m not sure you’re ready.”

  “You said you would walk with the horse real slow,” he argued.

  “Soon, buddy, soon. I might need to buy a new horse that is gentle enough for kids.”

  He let out a big sigh before feeding Fiona another carrot. “Can I pick out the horse?”

  I laughed. “We’ll see. I think we’re both going to need some help picking the right horse. For now, we’ll keep working with Fiona.”

  That seemed to satisfy him for the time being. After feeding Fiona, he gently rubbed her nose and had a long conversation with her. He jumped down and wiped his hands on his jeans. “Her leg is better.”

  “It’s getting there, but she’s an old girl and isn’t meant for riding,” I said, knowing what he was hinting at.

  “But I’m little,” he reasoned.

  “I have a better idea.”

  “What?”

  “Why don’t we go for a ride on the tractor? I’ll let you steer.”

  His eyes lit up. “Yes!”

  “You have to listen to me, and you can’t squirm. A tractor can be dangerous.”

  “I know,” he said, already running toward the green tractor parked next to one of the outbuildings on the property.

  I hoisted him up, climbing on behind him. I put my foot on the brake and started the thing up. Thankfully, it started on the first try. Oliver would have been very upset had I made him an offer I couldn’t follow through with.

  “Ready?” I asked.

  His huge smile made my whole day better. Hell, it made my life better. I put the tractor in gear and let it idle out of the parking spot. He put his hands on the wheel before looking back at me. “Can I drive?”

  I nodded. “Don’t hit the fence,” I warned.

  He grinned and turned back around to look forward. The tractor was probably moving at three miles per hour, if that. His sounds of excitement as he steered around a stick warmed my heart. I remembered riding on the tractor with my dad. I had few memories of my parents, but that was one of them. It was crazy to think I was repeating history with my own son.

  I hated that Oliver didn’t have grandparents or great grandparents. I wished he could have known them all and I wished they could have known him. They would have been proud to call him theirs. I let myself get lost in the reverie. The sound of the tractor, the vibration under my butt, and the smell of grass in the air transported me back to a time in my life when I could have never imagined being orphaned at such a young age.

  I remembered being carefree and laughing as my dad would kick up the speed as I drove, scaring me to death while giving me more excitement than my four-year-old heart could handle. I wanted Oliver to have those same memories. I wanted him to look back on his childhood and remember hanging out with me on the farm.

  I wanted him to remember me teaching him to drive the tractor and how to ride a horse. I wanted him to remember me for the dad that spent time with him. Not the dad that worked all the time. I didn’t want him to look back on his childhood and think about the great nannies he had or the awesome teachers at the daycare center.

  I was going to be selfish. I wanted all the memories.

  “Again!” he shouted when I slowly turned the tractor to take us back to the house.

  I laughed. “One more time and then I need to figure out what we’re having for dinner.”

  I took over steering, leading us out toward the winter wheat field. I talked, probably more than he cared to hear, telling him about the wheat and what would happen when it was time to harvest the wheat. I left out the dirty details about rain and how it could make or break our crops. He didn’t need to worry about any of that. Not yet.

  My butt was going numb. “Time to go back,” I told him.

  He didn’t object, which told me he was bored with the activity. We headed back toward the house. As we approached, I could see the telltale plume of dust indicating someone had recently drove down the driveway.

  I couldn’t begin to guess who it could be. Alex had never been out this late and I doubted she would show up now. The work was done. She would have to know I would have taken care of the usual chores. I assumed it was a package from New York or something along those lines. Our things had arrived yesterday, and I wasn’t expecting anything else, but it was my best guess.

  I refused to let that little kernel of hope that it was her bloom. I had to come up with a reason for the dust. I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed when I discovered it wasn’t her. It wasn’t her, I told myself again, driving home the point.

  As we got closer, I could see the truck. It was her!

  It irritated me that I was excited to see her. I didn’t want to get caught up in a thing with her. I was back home to raise my son, not have a fling with a woman.

  “Alex is here!” Oliver shouted when he saw her standing next to the barn.

  Alex waved, a bright smile on her face. She looked beautiful as usual. She was wearing jeans as usual, but the ones she was wearing were a darker blue and missing the worn look of her usual attire. She had on a black T-shirt that hugged her body, showing off that fine figure I had gotten a very short viewing of.

  I parked the tractor and helped Oliver off. He took off running toward her. I climbed off, watching as he hugged her. Oliver had fallen in love with Alex from the moment he saw her. The kid had good taste. I couldn’t blame him. It was good to see him happy and showing affection. He was normally a very reserved kid.

  Seeing him with Alex gave me hope that one day, he would be happy to have a woman in our lives. A wife for me and a mom for him. For a long time, I had told myself I was enough for him. Seeing him with her told me I was wrong. He needed a woman in his life.

  “Hi,” I said, walking up to where the two of them were standing.

  “Hi,” she answered, her eyes darting away from mine. She was uncomfortable. It was the same look she had in the moments after the sex in the barn.

  “Alex came by to say hi,” Oliver announced.

  I looked at her, waiting for her to look back at me. Her green eyes met mine. “Hi,” she said again.

  I laughed. “Hello. We were just going in to see what we had for dinner. You’re welcome to hang out.”

  She shrugged. “Sure.”

  That surprised me. She had looked like a scared animal a few seconds ago and now she was willing to have dinner with us. I would take what I could get.

  “I fed Fiona,” Oliver told her.

  “You did?”

  He nodded. “Yep, all by myself. Dad says he’s going to buy me a new horse.”

  “Woah, now that’s not exactly what I said.”

  “A new horse?” Alex asked as the three of us walked toward the house.

  I nodded. “He wants to learn to ride. I don’t know those other horses. I think I need to get him a nice, gentle pony.”

  She smiled. “Casper is a great horse for beginners. He’s young but very gentle.”

  “Really? The gelding?”

  She nodded. “Yep. I think Oliver—Senior, that is—had him here for a very particular reason,” she said. Her eyes looked down at Oliver between us, then back at me.

  “Ah, makes sense.”

  “Can I ride Casper?” Oliver asked, looking up at me.

  “We’ll see,” I said, not entirely sure I was ready for that adventure. I could admit I was a protective father. Seeing my little boy on the back of a very large horse was something that gave me heart palpitations.

  I opened the front door and gestured for her to go inside.

  “Thanks,” she murmured, being very careful not to touch me as she walked inside.

  I clearly had a lot of work to do to get us back to that friendly place we had been before I went and ruined everything by kissing her. Correction, fucking her. I had pounded into the woman like a rutting stallion. No wonder she didn’t want to look at me. I really should have practiced a little more refinement. I could have at least offered her a drink or something.

/>   I would make up for it. I would make her a nice dinner and make things right between us. She was a woman I wanted in Oliver’s life, even if we could only be friends.

  I would accept whatever she was willing to offer.

  Chapter 22

  Alex

  The tension between myself and Damion was easing. That first look had been intense. I had felt my cheeks burning and was unable to look directly at him. After a little internal pep talk, I had pulled myself together and looked him in the eye.

  “Should we have lasagna?” Damion asked.

  I looked up from the puzzle Oliver wanted me to help him with. “That’s kind of elaborate, isn’t it?”

  He grinned and pulled a frozen dish from the freezer. “If by elaborate you mean I have to turn on the oven, yes.”

  I laughed. “I think we’re having lasagna for dinner, Oliver.”

  Oliver looked over his shoulder. “And garlic bread,” he added.

  “Can’t have lasagna without garlic bread,” Damion said, reaching into the freezer and pulling out a box of sliced garlic bread.

  “Gee, I would hate for you to go through so much trouble for me,” I teased.

  “Only the best for you,” he said with a wink.

  The way he said it sent butterflies zooming around in my belly. Every time he looked at me or said something to me, my brain went to sex. It was exactly what I was afraid would happen. I couldn’t look at him without thinking about sex. I wanted more sex with him. I wanted all the sex in all the ways. We had barely scratched the surface. The thought of scratches reminded me of the scrapes along my tailbone and spine from being pressed against the barn wood.

  Damion put the frozen lasagna in the oven and joined us at the table. “This is a big puzzle,” he said. “Oliver was insistent he could do it.”