The Shortest Distance Between Love & Hate

by Sandy Hall

  Henry: But she said we should do it again sometime!

  Paisley: Eat together again sometime?

  Henry: YES.

  Paisley: I’m not sure that qualifies as coming on to you. That seems more like, if you’re there at the same time again, you should eat together again because she enjoys your company.

  Henry: You think that’s it?

  Paisley: That’s as far as I would read into it for now.

  Henry: Oh good. I literally just sighed with relief. I feel so much better.

  Paisley: Good. But you better let me know if anything else happens. Then I can interpret the interaction for you.

  Henry: Yeah, cool. Thanks, Paisley. I really needed that.

  Paisley: Anytime.

  Henry: Good luck with your vengeance plot.

  Paisley: Thank you, sir.

  CHAPTER NINE

  -CARTER-

  “Party at my brother’s house tonight,” Ray says, bouncing into our room and dropping his backpack on the floor next to his bed. He has a brown grocery bag with him and carefully unloads everything into our mini-fridge.

  I am, as usual, hunched over my desk doing homework, and now I have the added bonus of trying not to think about my dad. Life is grand.

  “There’s no way—” I start to say.

  “Yes. There is a way,” Ray interrupts. “You could just come.”

  Then I realize. I could go to the party. I’m not going home this weekend. I could get my homework done on Sunday night, rather than trying to rush through it on the train.

  I slam my calc book closed.

  “I had no idea you were so susceptible to peer pressure.”

  I laugh. “Well, I don’t feel like going home this weekend. My mom and sister can get along without me. It’s time to have some fun.”

  “Yes!” Ray says, fist pumping.

  “So, is it a big party?” I ask, getting up from my desk and grabbing a drink from the fridge.

  “Pretty big.”

  “Can you be a buffer between me and Paisley? I really don’t want to see her.”

  “Dude. Of course. Also, nobody should ever keep you from having fun. Especially not Paisley. You have way more claim over this party than Paisley does.”

  “I’m not entirely sure that’s true, but okay.”

  Ray rifles through his backpack and pulls out a small bottle of Jack Daniel’s. “Luis gave this to me. You want some?”

  “Maybe we should have dinner first?”

  “You’re, like, super smart. But pregame later, right?”

  “Definitely.”

  -PAISLEY-

  I have officially been called upon to be Stef’s wingwoman. She’s got a big old crush on one of the other girls on the swim team, and she needs backup at the party tonight. Pretty much the whole team will be there, apparently, because it’s going to be one last hurrah before they start training in earnest for the upcoming season.

  I can’t believe I just used the phrase one last hurrah.

  The only thing is, as soon as we get to the party, the girl Stef has a crush on, Melissa, invites her to play beer pong because her usual beer pong partner ditched her. So Stef is happily ensconced in a game, and I’m over here in the corner, much like I was the first weekend of school.

  Ugh. That first party. I try not to think about that too much. Particularly now that Carter hates me as much as I hate him.

  I could probably use a palate cleanser from that night. Someone to make me forget about my first kiss by giving me a second kiss. Maybe even a better kiss. A new pair of lips to focus on.

  Especially since even after all this time, I sometimes have to stop myself from saying something to Carter along the lines of, “Let’s go find a Ferris wheel and make out for a while.” But I like to hope it’s not about him so much as it about kissing and whatnot. At least I hope.

  I scan the room. There are plenty of good-looking dudes in here, and I always have Stef to back me up. We did manage to come up with a signal in case one or the other is in need. A quick, casual pull on our right earlobe means, “PLEASE HELP ME NOW.”

  There’s a guy pumping beer that I’ve had my eye on for a while. He’s tall, even taller than Carter, more like a mountain than a tree. There’s no one else near the keg so this seems like my best moment.

  I wander over.

  “Hey,” I say.

  “Hey,” he says, grinning. “Are you on the team?”

  “Nah, I’m Stef’s roommate. Paisley.” I hitch my thumb in her direction.

  “Oh right, yeah. Gomez. She’s a cool girl.”

  I want to correct him to say she’s a cool woman, but we’re just getting started. I can’t hope that everyone is a perfect feminist right from the start. I can always mold him.

  “Yeah, she is. We get along pretty well,” I say, pumping up the keg and pouring myself a half of a Solo cup of beer. I still think the stuff tastes like ass, but it feels wrong not to at least have something in my hands.

  “I’m Tommy.”

  We shake hands. Someone else comes up to the keg so we move out of the way.

  “How come I haven’t seen you around here before?” he asks.

  “Do you live here?” I ask.

  “Nah, I know Luis from the team.”

  “Yeah, we don’t come to a ton of parties, I guess. But this isn’t my first and it’s probably not my last.”

  “I was watching you over in the corner, and I thought you were way too cute to be alone,” he says, moving a little closer to me.

  I clam up a little. Maybe this isn’t what I want.

  “You remind me so much of my little sister,” he adds. I don’t know what to say to that. But then the whole situation changes.

  A girl wiggles up next to Tommy. “Hey, babe,” he says to her. “Doesn’t this girl remind you of my little sister?”

  “Oh wow!” she says. “Totally.”

  She introduces herself as Tommy’s girlfriend, Zoe. I’m about to walk away when she says, “I love your T-shirt!”

  “Thanks,” I say looking down at it. It’s a cream-colored T-shirt that says A CUTE MESS. It’s not my usual work. I had taken my time on this one, making the lettering extra neat and adding a floral design inside each individual letter. It was supposed to be for Lizzie, for her birthday, but after I washed it, I realized it had shrunk. I decided to make her a new one and keep this one for myself.

  “Where did you get it?” Zoe asks.

  “Um, well, I made it.”

  “OMG. Could you make me one? I’d pay like twenty bucks for a shirt that cute.”

  “Sure,” I say, not mentioning that I bought the T-shirt at Walmart for six dollars. “Do you want to give me your email or number or something so I can contact you when it’s done?”

  We exchange information and then I have the most brilliant idea. I need to find Stef and tell her immediately.

  -CARTER-

  Ray and I walk into the party already kind of drunk. I immediately see Paisley on the other side of the room talking to some guy. He’s enormous. Like twice my size. She seems into him, smiling at whatever he’s saying to her.

  Pisses me off. Between her and my dad and my strike at work and my shitty calc grade, I feel like I could explode.

  I walk over to the keg and Luis is there.

  “Hey, man,” he says when he sees me and immediately starts pouring me a drink.

  “Hey.”

  “I’m glad you came. Ray said he wasn’t sure you would,” he tells me, handing me the cup.

  I shrug, but my anger is still barely simmering. I’m not sure what I find so annoying about Luis’s statement, maybe that Ray has said anything about me, knowing that he probably said lots of other stuff. I try to push it aside.

  I used to have a lot of anger issues, and it seems like they’ve all decided to come back right this second. I try to think of a coping mechanism, something that might help me not flip out in the middle of this basement. Or maybe it’s just that liquor makes me angry
. Maybe beer, as gross as it is, will chill me out.

  “What did Ray say?” I ask through gritted teeth. It’s like the angry monster has awoken inside of me. I was fine for so long and now everything makes me want to Hulk out.

  “That you’ve been busy and your mom is sick. But I’m glad you could make it tonight. Everyone needs to blow off steam sometimes.”

  I take a long sip of beer and realize I lost Paisley in the crowd somewhere. At least that’s a relief. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “I hope you don’t mind that he told me,” Luis says. “Is she okay? How’s it going?”

  “She’s okay. I don’t mean to bring you down during a party, but mostly she’s fine. She had surgery. They got all the cancer.” I don’t add anything about my dad showing up out of the blue, mostly because I know that will make me angrier. Silently stewing about it is a better option.

  Ray comes up to us then, slinging his arm around my neck. He has a bottle of beer from somewhere and I’m annoyed he didn’t offer me one. Not that I think beer from a keg tastes any different than beer from a bottle. They all taste like cold piss to me.

  “You in for beer pong?” Ray asks. “I signed us up, but if you’re not feeling it, I’m sure I could convince Luis to play with me.”

  “I’m in,” I say.

  “Awesome,” Ray says. “We’re next. There are perks to being the little brother of the guy throwing the party.”

  -PAISLEY-

  Tommy and Zoe move away onto the dance floor and I’m left once more entertaining myself. I gaze around the room looking for Stef but don’t see her. I check all the usual spots and then I find her standing outside the bathroom.

  “I had the most amazing idea,” I say. It takes me a second to realize how sad she looks. “Hey, are you okay?”

  She looks up at me. “She’s dating someone. I had no idea she was unavailable.”

  “Aw, sweetie,” I say, pulling Stef in for a hug.

  “I just didn’t expect this. Why didn’t I expect this?”

  “These things happen,” I say, rubbing her arms.

  “So, what’s your big idea?”

  “Oh, that seems silly now. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “No really. Tell me.”

  “I’m going to sell my T-shirts online.”

  Her eyes go wide. “That is a good idea. You get so many compliments on them. And I could wear one to all of my classes, like a walking billboard.”

  As we emerge out into the basement from the labyrinth of hallways that lead to the bathroom, it’s only then that I notice Carter is here. Of course he is. I don’t know how I didn’t notice him earlier.

  He’s on a beer pong team with Ray versus Tommy and a guy I don’t recognize.

  Stef and I grab drinks and decide to dance for a while, to shake off her negative feelings and so she can show Melissa what she’s missing.

  “I think Carter is fighting for your honor,” Stef whisper-yells, nodding in the direction of the beer pong table.

  “What do you mean?”

  “He probably saw you talking to Tommy earlier, got jealous, and now wants to show him who’s boss.”

  I scoff.

  “I’m serious,” Stef says, dancing us a little closer. “Listen to how he’s taunting Tommy.”

  It’s true. Carter is showing his nasty streak. The one I know a little too well from middle school. Every time he gets the ball into a cup, he acts surprised and rubs it in Tommy’s face.

  I shrug. “It’s his problem if he wants to be an asshole.”

  But I find myself keeping an eye on Carter from every angle of the dance floor. There’s something about him tonight, like any little bit of pressure could make him blow. Like a dormant volcano.

  As I have this thought, Ray and Carter win. They high-five, but something is wrong. Tommy looks unhappy, of course. Carter’s all smiles as the guy marches over to him.

  I can’t hear what’s being said, but I have a bad feeling about it.

  -CARTER-

  On top of my rage issues, there’s a good chance that I’m a sore winner.

  This big guy is coming for me. I might as well let him.

  I didn’t expect to play against the guy who was hitting on Paisley before. I didn’t expect to find myself taunting him the whole time. And I definitely wasn’t prepared to win. Must be beginner’s luck.

  “You think you’re so smart,” he says to me, coming around the table.

  “Good game,” I say with a mean grin. Ray has walked over to the keg to fill the pitcher for the next round, so I’m on my own over here.

  He just shakes his head. I’m drunk, but he’s way drunker. I mean, that’s sort of the point of beer pong, and losing beer pong is never going to help you sober up.

  “You’re a tiny asshole and I’m this close to smacking you down,” he says. “You think you’re so funny. Well, I’ve got news for you.”

  Before he can tell me his news, I catch sight of Paisley on the dance floor. I wind up and punch him in the face. It feels really good, at least until I realize that it also feels like my hand is broken. I shake it out, and as I turn to go, he punches me twice, once in the gut and once in the face.

  And I’m going down.

  -PAISLEY-

  “Oh my god,” Stef says. “What is Carter thinking?”

  “He’s not thinking. He’s an asshole.”

  “Go help him,” she says, pushing me in that direction.

  “How?” I ask. “And also why?”

  Stef gives me a look that I take as “you know why,” so I slide between the people crowding around to step in between them.

  “I see you’re making friends, Carter,” I say.

  He looks up at me and shakes his head.

  “Hey, it’s you,” Tommy says, obviously much drunker than he was earlier. “My little sister.”

  “Why’d you hit this guy here?”

  “He hit me first.”

  “Look at him,” I say. “He’s tiny. Puny. A big guy like you? You shouldn’t even be able to feel it if he hits you.”

  Luis comes up then and tells Tommy to go outside and cool off.

  Tommy yells a few empty threats before taking off up the back stairs and out the door. I can’t help feeling relieved.

  Luis helps Carter stand.

  “Well, that sucks,” Carter says, his eye already swelling.

  “What the hell just happened?” Ray asks, joining us in the middle of the crowd. “I walk away for a second. You got a bad temper, dude.”

  Carter nods and holds his hand over his eye, like that’s going to help.

  “Come on,” I say to him. I feel the need to take charge of this situation. Maybe I have Florence Nightingale syndrome, but I can’t stand the idea that Carter is just going to get more and more drunk tonight, and probably pick more fights and wind up in a coma.

  “Come on where?”

  “Come on and we’ll walk back to the dorm. We’ll stop at the convenience store on the way for a bag of frozen peas.”

  He eyes me wearily.

  “Come. On,” I repeat. Then I turn to Ray. “I’m taking Carter home.”

  “That’s probably a good idea. I’ll come too.”

  I weave over to Stef to tell her we’re leaving, but she decides to join us on our walk home.

  “There’s no reason to stay,” she says, glancing back over at Melissa.

  The four of us leave out the front door since Tommy is still out in the backyard. It seems like a good idea to avoid that situation entirely.

  Tonight, as opposed to the first night, Carter walks several feet ahead of us, along with Ray, while Stef and I chat.

  We stop at the convenience store along the way, where I buy Carter a bag of peas to use as an ice pack, and he and Ray both insist on getting slushies. As if I’m made of money. I could probably go through his wallet and pull out some cash, but that seems wrong to me.

  When we get to the building, he doesn’t even thank me for saving
him or for the treats he got at the store. He just grunts a goodbye and heads to his room. Ray, on the other hand, insists on a group hug, before showing us how blue his tongue is.

  “Night, Paisley, night, Stef,” he says, weaving lazily down the hallway behind Carter.

  “This was a really weird night,” Stef says.

  “The weirdest,” I agree.

  “Let’s go watch rom-coms and forget everything.”

  “You’re a very smart lady.”

  “Why didn’t we get slushies?” she asks in the elevator. “We deserved slushies too.”

  “We were so busy mom-ing them, we didn’t take into consideration our own needs.”

  “So mom of us,” she says. “Let’s go raid the vending machines before the rom-com marathon.”

  “Now that’s a good idea.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  -CARTER-

  I’m so hungover Saturday morning I almost forget that I have work at noon. It’s not a normal shift for me. It’s not a normal shift for anyone. But they need extra people today for some kind of prospective student event. Hopefully I can sit at the desk and check IDs without having to deal with Paisley.

  No such luck, though. Guess who’s standing at the desk when I walk in.

  “Well, if it isn’t Robinson Hall’s very own Floyd Mayweather,” she says with a shit-eating grin, as if being able to name one boxer makes her some kind of comedian.

  I ignore her and head into the back office to stow my stuff. When I get to the desk, she’s straightening up.

  “Are you here all day?” I ask, my voice barely working. I take a sip of water followed by a long chug of coffee that I just grabbed from the back. Thank god I put so much milk in, so it’s already cooled off.

  “I’m off in…” She pauses to look at the clock. “Thirty seconds. You’re on your own today. Luckily, it’s been quiet. Everyone else is out at the event,” she says, gesturing toward the back of the building.

  “Fine.”

  “Somebody’s in a great mood today.”