The Rosie Result

by Graeme Simsion

  ‘Alligators,’ I said.

  He laughed. ‘Correct. But I wanted to encourage you to talk to Bronwyn. The story on the pigeon’s no surprise to me, but I think she was having a bet each way. And we’ve had a lot of positive feedback from parents about what Hudson did for Blanche.’

  He paused, then asked, ‘Did Hudson know it was Blanche who shopped him?’

  ‘Yes, but he had forgiven her.’

  ‘Pretty good case to go in with. I’d make an appointment to see Bronwyn.’

  ‘Excellent advice.’

  ‘We do care about these kids. If you’ve got a minute, I’ve got a story that you’ll probably appreciate more than I did at the time.’ ‘You can have longer than a minute if it allows the inclusion of interesting detail.’

  ‘Right. Well, we were playing cricket—and by the way, Hudson’s not the worst catcher in his year anymore. I had both classes of boys, and one of them said about something they didn’t like, “That’s so gay.” I have a problem with that expression, so I sat them all down and laid it out, nuts and bolts, what being gay really means.

  ‘We had a family member…It doesn’t matter, but you know, they listen to the sex-education stuff, but they don’t really get it. Well, by the end of my little talk they got it.

  ‘So, there’s a kid who used to give Hudson a bit of a hard time, when he was in my class, and he’d planted himself behind Hudson and was apparently fiddling with his hair, and Hudson blurts out, “Hey, that’s why Jasper plays with my hair. He’s gay.”

  ‘You know what kids of that age are like. They just laughed and laughed and wouldn’t stop—absolutely not at Hudson but at Jasper. It was hardly an ideal outcome as far as I was concerned but—’ Rabbit stopped suddenly.

  ‘Is there some problem?’

  ‘Obviously I wasn’t happy with the idea that being gay was a negative, but I think the reason there was so much laughter is that the kids see Hudson as a sort of truth-teller. But now I think about it, I wonder…whether it could have been deliberate. As though he was…using it. Sorry, you’ve probably no idea what I’m talking about.’

  I knew exactly what Rabbit was talking about.

  We didn’t need to visit the school. When I called Bronwyn, she indicated that the autism-assessment requirement had been lifted.

  ‘I’ve had it pointed out to me, by people who know more than I do, that what he did for Blanche—especially after what she’d done to him—doesn’t fit with autism. Nor does helping out someone from another house when he had his mind set on getting the points. Kellie was quite embarrassed to have got it wrong.’

  ‘Presumably the school will be arranging some education to prevent her getting it wrong in the future. With possibly devastating consequences for students.’ Kellie’s assumption that autism was not compatible with altruism and care for others had worked to Hudson’s benefit but was patently false. Laszlo was one of the most selfless and generous people I knew.

  ‘I…Actually, that’s a fair point,’ said Bronwyn. ‘But there is one thing. Kellie did ask me to check with you that he wasn’t coached.’

  I hesitated, but I could see no reason not to tell the truth. ‘I don’t understand why it’s a problem, but he was coached.’

  Bronwyn breathed in, quickly.

  ‘His grandfather is a personal trainer. I understood that other participants had received athletics training for much longer.’

  Bronwyn laughed. ‘I was thinking about him helping Blanche.’

  ‘I would never have thought of that idea.’

  ‘I believe you.’

  Kellie’s concern with Hudson being coached seemed unreasonable. None of us is expert in all situations. It is a sign of intelligence to recognise our limitations and of maturity to seek help when required. The school had zero problem with him being coached in the physical aspects of the cross-country run but apparently would have thought him deficient if he had sought help with the psychological component.

  I waited until dinner to tell Rosie and opened a bottle of sparkling wine.

  ‘What are we celebrating?’ said Rosie.

  ‘The completion of the Hudson Project.’ I felt I could use the name in front of Hudson, now that we had achieved an unqualified success: not only acceptance into high school, but withdrawal of the autism conjecture by the counsellor, the principal and Hudson’s teacher. I had advised Hudson of the principal’s decision and he had appeared pleased. Correction: triumphant, as indicated by air-punching.

  The school’s decision was the ultimate goal, but it had been accomplished through improved social skills, as evidenced by his negotiation of the Pigeon Betrayal and leadership of the cross-country team; improved physical performance, as evidenced by his sporting successes; and improved empathy, as evidenced by his understanding of the Blanche problem.

  He had acquired other important competencies, many of which were relevant to social interaction and hence acceptance: fishing, ball catching, bike riding, running, swimming, gift selection, barbecuing, computer programming and requirements analysis, costume selection and use, and business entrepreneurship. Reflecting on the last of these, which would not have been on any list of competencies devised by me, I added ‘independent thinking’.

  The school appeared, finally, to have acknowledged his progress. ‘I’m giving a speech on graduation night,’ said Hudson. ‘Only a few kids get to do it. I wasn’t on the list, but Ms Williams added me.’

  ‘How do you feel about that?’ asked Rosie.

  ‘Good. Most of the other speakers are scared.’

  ‘You’re not?’

  ‘I like talking.’

  ‘Can Dave and Sonia attend? Possibly with Zina,’ I asked.

  ‘Sure. Why?’

  ‘They’ve known you since you were a baby,’ said Rosie. ‘They’ll want to celebrate with you.’

  ‘Also, we’ve agreed to go to Zina’s play. They will be obliged to reciprocate.’

  42

  Zina’s school play was almost a disaster, given that our sole reason for attending was her involvement. There had been some issue with her costume, and she had refused to participate until it was resolved, which had apparently involved significant effort on Sonia’s part.

  Hudson took a book and read during all of the proceedings except Zina’s play, which Rosie compelled him to watch. It was terrible, as was to be expected of a production written and performed by primary-school students. Zina played the role of a teenager visiting from New York, which did not require, as far as I could observe, any special costume.

  We left Hudson at Dave and Sonia’s place in the care of the child minder and had dinner at a Greek restaurant. It was the first time we had eaten together since Dave and Sonia’s arrival in Melbourne and they were scheduled to leave shortly before Christmas.

  ‘That’s what you get with a job and kids,’ said Sonia. ‘But you’ve been with us in spirit all the time, in what’s happened with Dave. You saved us, you know.’

  ‘I think Dave saved himself,’ said Rosie.

  Since the fishing trip, Dave had been walking without the crutch. ‘But I’m not going back to refrigeration,’ he said.

  ‘Do the blocks provide sufficient income?’ I asked.

  ‘That’s the way it’s looking. If it drops off, I’ll find something else to make.’

  ‘And you don’t need to share the profits if you do,’ said Rosie. ‘This is Hudson’s mother speaking in his own interests.’

  ‘Dave’s kept me up to date on the problems you’ve been having with him,’ said Sonia to Rosie. ‘I guess you must have thought about going back to part-time?’

  ‘I did for a while, but he’s doing a lot better. And Don’s been great with him.’

  ‘He’s grown up a lot,’ said Dave.

  ‘Zina’s growing up too,’ said Sonia. ‘Eleven going on seventeen. It’s a shame the two of them haven’t had more to do with each other.’

  ‘Why?’ I said. ‘They seem to have completely different interests
.’

  ‘You’re probably right,’ said Sonia. ‘Girls mature a lot faster.’

  ‘What did Hudson think of her performance?’ said Dave.

  Rosie answered. ‘Don’t ask what an eleven-year-old boy thinks of an eleven-year-old girl’s performance at the school concert. You’re coming to see Hudson?’

  ‘Yep. But I gotta say, it’ll be tough to match what the kids put on tonight.’

  ‘I think Hudson’s freaking out a bit about his talk,’ said Rosie as we showed Minh how to make a Smoked Sazerac. The bar had been running well with less involvement from us, and we were becoming like her—enjoying our ownership without having to work too hard. Having criticised Hudson for making money as an entrepreneur, I was at risk of doing the same.

  ‘He indicated that he was confident,’ I said. ‘Have you seen evidence to the contrary?’

  ‘I have seen evidence to the contrary. Balled-up paper.’

  ‘He’s using paper to write his speech?’ Something was wrong.

  Hudson was currently in the process of intercepting two women who were walking towards the bar. We still took some orders through personal interaction, but Hudson would draw new customers’ attention to the app and offer assistance.

  The two women had a conversation with Hudson, brief but long enough for me to notice something.

  ‘I think the woman on the left is the one who asked me the question at the lecture. And recorded the video. It’s possible that her companion was sitting next to her.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ said Rosie.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Get out of sight. Let me do this.’

  ‘What are you going to say?’

  ‘I don’t know yet. Out of sight.’

  I moved into the space between the bar and the kitchen, where, due to the low noise level, I was able to listen to the conversation. Minh was working behind Rosie.

  ‘Excuse me,’ said a voice that I was reasonably certain was the one that had asked me about the genetic basis of race, ‘I was wondering—the woman making the cocktail, can you tell me her name?’

  ‘Why?’ asked Rosie.

  ‘This is going to sound strange, but I just interviewed for a job…’

  ‘Her dream job,’ said the other woman. ‘And she’s going to get it.’

  ‘Don’t. But she looks so like the woman who interviewed me…’

  ‘For a job here?’ said Rosie.

  ‘No, actually in a genetics lab. I’ve just finished my qualification and I want to work in genome editing. My second interview was with the CEO…’ She gestured towards Minh.

  ‘Hard to imagine a senior geneticist working in a bar,’ said Rosie. ‘She’s Vietnamese, and I guess they all look a bit similar, right?’ Rosie laughed and kept laughing till the two women joined in.

  ‘Go on,’ said Rosie. ‘You have to admit it.’

  ‘I guess.’

  ‘Come to think of it,’ said Rosie, ‘I shouldn’t have said that. Sounds racist, doesn’t it? But you agreed with me. What do you think, Don?’

  I stepped up to the bar.

  ‘Oh shit,’ the first woman said.

  ‘Don lost his job in genetics after being accused of racism. You have to be so careful. Now he owns this bar. With Dang Minh, who I understand you’ve met. They’re partners. Let me get her for you.’

  ‘Oh shit,’ she said, again.

  ‘Small world, genetics,’ said Rosie.

  ‘Please,’ she said. ‘I was only trying to…just…Like, this job, it means so much…’

  ‘Don’s job meant a lot to him,’ said Rosie.

  What Rosie said was true, but now there seemed to be an implied threat that I might use my relationship with Minh to exact some kind of revenge.

  ‘Obviously I won’t interfere with the process of job selection,’ I said.

  ‘You won’t? Oh God, do you really mean that?’

  ‘Of course. It would be totally unethical. If you’re the most suitable person for the job, I hope Minh is able to employ you. We need the best people working in genetics. Did you want to order a drink?’

  ‘You realise how frustrating you are, don’t you?’ said Rosie when the two women had left without ordering a drink. Then she laughed. ‘I’m sort of glad you let her off the hook. I used to be a lot like her.’

  ‘Used to be? Are you suggesting there’s been some change?’

  ‘Do you require help with your speech?’ I asked Hudson.

  ‘You can’t help. It’s impossible. What they want.’

  ‘What do they want? If we have a clear specification we can evaluate whether there is likely to be a solution. If not, we can advise the school, and seek a more reasonable specification.’

  ‘They want me to talk about why I held Blanche’s hand. In the cross-country. Instead of just trying to win. That’s all they want me to talk about.’

  ‘Is there some problem with providing the reason? The audience would be interested in why you did it. Presumably it was a result of friendship or altruism.’

  ‘Great. You want me to say, “I helped Blanche do the cross-country because she’s my friend.” Or “I helped Blanche do the cross-country because of alt…”’

  ‘Altruism. Performing an act because of its intrinsic merit rather than any benefit to yourself. Such as making a donation to charity. An anonymous one.’

  ‘Dad, I have to speak for two minutes.’

  ‘Is the content non-negotiable?’

  ‘Technically, I can say whatever I want. But it’s what the principal suggested. We all had to go into her office, together, and she “suggested” what we should talk about.’ Hudson used air quotes. ‘Guess what Blanche is supposed to talk about?’

  ‘I only know about Blanche’s interest in becoming a scientist.’

  ‘That’s because…you don’t think like the principal. It’s about overcoming her disability. I’m just trying to fit in. Not do anything that sticks out and looks weird.’

  ‘You’ve already qualified for high school. You can take a break from fitting in.’

  It was possibly not the best advice, but it was automatic. Any break from the pressure to fit in was to be exploited without hesitation.

  It was never easy to interpret Hudson’s expressions, but I sensed relief. We were on the way to solving the problem. Father and son.

  ‘Can you drive me to Eugenie’s?’ said Hudson. ‘I’ll talk to her.’

  43

  On the day of Hudson’s school graduation, Rosie arrived home from work at 2.46 p.m. ‘I’ve had enough for today,’ she said. ‘Done my duty.’

  ‘Was the presentation a success?’

  ‘It was weird. Stefan presented, and then the committee asked me most of the questions. Stefan figured that they were happy with him and just wanted to check out his number two to make sure of the depth, but…’

  ‘Do you think you’ll get the funding?’

  ‘I don’t know. Like I said, something was weird.’

  Fourteen minutes later, my phone rang: Simon Lefebvre’s number. Judas. Rosie had gone to the hairdresser.

  ‘Don, can you talk?’

  ‘There’s some problem?’

  ‘I need you to speak to Rosie. Urgently.’

  ‘She’s not answering her phone? I can probably find the hairdresser’s telephone number.’

  Simon hesitated. ‘I’d rather go via you. I can trust you to be…rational.’

  ‘There’s a problem?’

  ‘I need her back in front of the committee in an hour. Look, this is good news; I’m going to let her front the project. She’s told me that’s what she wants, and I’ve reconsidered. Apparently, she did brilliantly in the presentation today and she’s been a real trouper…’

  ‘Why did you demote her originally?’

  ‘Does that matter now? Look, I thought with all the problems with…your son…I was doing her a favour.’

  I reflected for a few moments. The reason he had given to Rosie involved a potentially unreliable commi
ttee member, not concern for Hudson.

  ‘Don?’ said Simon.

  ‘Tell me the truth,’ I said, ‘or I’ll terminate the conversation. It’s impossible to reach an optimum solution based on false information.’

  ‘Don, that doesn’t sound like you. Not taking someone’s word. We’ve known each other—’

  ‘Correct. It’s atypical for me. My default position is to assume honesty, but obviously that has to be modified by evidence. You’re a habitual liar and hence not trustworthy.’ My experience with Gene had provided a valuable, if painful, lesson.

  ‘I think that’s a bit…’ He abandoned the argument, for obvious reasons. ‘All right, Don, you’re a rational man, you’ll relate to this. I was trying to be gentle with Rosie. It actually is about the problems you’ve been having with…’

  ‘Hudson.’

  ‘Hudson. Rosie’s had to take leave, go part-time, come back full-time, rush off to school meetings. Stefan’s there every day, on schedule, nine to five. His mind’s on the job. Given the choice, who would you have taken?’

  ‘Ridiculous question. It assumes there are no other variables. You considered all parameters and hired Rosie.’

  ‘Stefan’s a psychologist. I needed an MD for medical cred. You asked for the truth. And all things being equal, she’s the better researcher. But all things aren’t equal.’

  ‘Why do you want to reinstate her?’ Judas had already given me a reason, but it made sense to ask again, now that I had demanded truthfulness.

  ‘She’s…The funding body have apparently got another organisation to partner—which means to put in money—and when they advised them of the change to the chief investigator, they threatened to pull out.’

  ‘Why would they care who leads the project?’

  ‘Between you and me, I’d say it’s a feminist thing. Affirmative action. The other party’s a medical-research company run by some Vietnamese woman.’

  Hudson accompanied me to the hairdresser, where an employee was combing paste into Rosie’s hair.

  ‘You need to abandon the hair processing. For a second interview. Simon has re-promoted you.’

  ‘I’m not—’