As she walked through the door he held open for her, her fragrance, Summer Sunshine, caressed his senses. He wanted to linger. “What would they have been if you’d had girls?”
She gave him a look that said she wasn’t happy about something.
“We had agreed to Jane, Scarlett and Esmeralda.”
Oh. He had used the wrong pronoun. Then he let each name run through his brain. He couldn’t stop the horror showing on his face. “I picked those names?”
“No.” Her laughter was a bit reluctant, but real. “You only liked Scarlett. That had been our deal. You got to name the boys and I got to name any daughters we had. I did cheat a little. You wanted Sawyer for a girl. Your other boy name was Ulysses.” Her nose wrinkled. “But I thought that sounded like an old man’s name. Since you weren’t here I used Sawyer for our third son.”
“Ulysses is retro cool. But Jane? Talk about sounding—”
“We had this discussion already and since you weren’t here when I named them I went with those. They were all approved by you one way or another. The children already answer to them. No take-backs on baby names.” At the bottom step, she waited for him to follow her.
He brushed past, the sea breeze relaxing him. “I do like Scarlett. If you ever have a girl, then—”
She went rigid. Then she shook her head. “I’m in a good place right now and I don’t see myself having more children.”
Had he done that to her? He reached for her hand, then dropped his. “Selena, I’m sorry.”
How many land mines was he going to trip over? He might not remember most of his life but hurting her took a chunk out of his heart. There had to be a way to get all his memories back.
Flipping her long dark ponytail over her shoulder, she gave him a smile, as if to reassure him, but the light in her amber eyes was out. “Don’t be. They’re amazing, even though as a single mom, there are days the boys are almost more than I can handle. Not sure what I would have done without my dad. Your family, Belle and Elijah, have been a great support, too.”
Her gaze moved back to the horizon and she walked along the gravel drive. “Don’t feel sorry for me. Life is good, and God has given me so many gifts.” She smiled over her shoulder. “And now it’s Christmas.”
She bit the corner of her lip. “And you’re back. ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ has a deeper meaning now.”
A gust of wind played with long strands of her hair. He wanted to pull her close and protect her from the harsh elements. What words could he use to bring the spark back to those gentle eyes? Even without any specific memory, he knew in his gut that she was everything good, solid and joyful in his life.
He didn’t know much, but there was a darkness inside him. That same darkness would destroy her light if he let her too close. Was that why he had left her?
Something was wrong, but he didn’t know enough to even ask.
Taking his gaze off her, he studied the old barn they were approaching. The wood was weathered gray and the Texas flag painted on the metal roof was faded. It begged for repair. Was the neglect a lack of help or money?
Selena walked backward as she studied him. He knew without touching it that it would be silky as it slid between his fingers.
Her hands deep in her pockets, she had to speak louder to be heard over the wind. “I know things are different and you...well, you’re just trying to find out who you are. Maybe there’s a reason you forgot us.”
This conversation was on a sharp spiral in the wrong direction, but he was saved from responding when she turned and slid open one of the wide doors.
Giggling warmed the air around him. A couple of more steps and the idea of three little people belonging to him would become a reality. Why couldn’t he move?
“Xavier?” She tilted her head as she looked at him. She held her hand out to him, concern in her expression. “They don’t know you’re here. They have no expectations. You can meet them later or we don’t have to tell them who you are yet.”
A mix of little giggles and adult laughter answered her. He shook his head. Placing his hand on the edge of the door, he forced his body to take another step. A fluttery movement deep in his belly told him to turn and go in the opposite direction.
But this was his family. The life he had forgotten. There would be no putting the pieces together if he continued to run.
One more step and he was inside.
It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the indoor light. In the center of the barn was a large open area. A thick blanket was spread out and six children were being mobbed by five baby goats. Three girls, older than the boys, sat on the outside with empty bottles—and right smack in the middle were three dark-haired little boys.
A stark coldness started at his core and spread to his limbs. He closed his eyes against the dizziness.
He was disorientated. What had to be a memory rushed through his brain. He stood in the exact same place, but he was seeing different kids in another time.
The children in the flashback were subdued, their giggles quiet as one dirty, matted puppy licked the little girl. She squealed with delight.
“Hush, Belle. He’ll hear us,” he had warned her.
A lanky boy in worn hand-me-downs that he knew was a young Elijah pulled scraps out of his pocket to feed the dog. She was black with four white paws and a crescent shape between her eyes. She was too young to be away from her mother, but someone had dumped her on the old country road.
Footsteps outside charged his heart into overdrive. He frantically scanned the area for a safe place.
If his father found them with a pup...
“Xavier.” The soft plea pulled him back to the current time and place. Selena had his hand in hers. “Are you okay?”
On his left, Belle put her hand on his shoulder.
He looked at her. His blood pressure had to be dangerously high. “We tried to save a stray once. But he found us. The dog...” Did he really want to know what happened?
Tears welled up in his cousin’s eyes. “You saved Luna. You hid her in time, but Frank was mad because you weren’t in the barn, cleaning.”
He remembered now. “But he took it out on you and Elijah.” Why did he remember this, but not the details of his life with Selena?
Belle shrugged. “That was the norm for us. But it was so worth it that time. Luna’s a great dog. We managed to keep her out of sight for almost a year. She still lives with Selena.”
Selena put her hand on his other arm. “You gave her to me. She went on the road with me when I traveled with Dad. When I was in town, you’d come by every day to see her.”
Belle laughed as she wiped her face. “I don’t think it was Luna he was checking on.”
Nodding, he put that bit of past in its place and fixed himself in the present. Blinking to clear his blurred vision didn’t help. He could make out the forms of movement, but the details were too vague.
Lowering his lids, he took in deep breaths that expanded his lungs.
Selena’s grip tightened, and she leaned in closer. “We can still make an escape.” Just being near her made him braver.
Not sure he could form any words, he jerked his head and took a step closer to the circle of kids and goats.
The giggling stopped. Someone stood and moved next to Selena. All Xavier could make out was a thick gray mustache on a man a bit shorter than him, but not by much.
“Xavier, this is my father.”
Ignoring the hand Xavier offered, the man pulled him into a bear hug. “Boy, it’s so good to see you.” Tears were clear in the man’s smooth baritone voice.
Blood rushed through Xavier’s body. He knew this man. “Riff?”
The man pulled back, his large hands gripping his biceps. “You remember me?”
“Your voice. You taught me to play guitar. We sang together. You like sin
ging.”
A robust laugh filled the barn. “Yes. I like singing. Much to my daughter’s displeasure.” He pulled Xavier back into a tight hug and his fingers dug into his back. The man was openly crying now. “You’re home. Praise God.”
Breathing became difficult in the tight embrace.
Selena’s hand was on his shoulder. “Dad, I think he needs some space.”
The older man stepped back. “Of course. I’m just so overwhelmed to see you here. Alive and well.”
His vision cleared. The details of the man’s face came into view. His thick black hair was streaked with silver and his amber eyes looked just...
Jerking his gaze to Selena, he opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Yes. Riff is my father. How do you remember his voice, but not that he’s your father-in-law?” She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re here to see the boys.”
The pint-size crew on the blanket had gotten quiet as they watched the drama unfold. The oldest girl stood, a squirming freckled goat in her arms. “Tío Xavier?”
She looked to her mother for confirmation. Belle nodded and stepped forward. “Your tío Xavier is home. Say hi and then we girls will go in the house to get some breakfast while he visits with the boys.”
It was like watching someone else. With a sense of detachment, Xavier greeted each of the girls.
First, he hugged Rosemarie. He had no memories of her. She had the same dark curly hair as her mom, but her eyes were the green-gray of the De La Rosas.
Little Lucy rushed him just like her mom. She was a mini-me of her mother and looking at her took Xavier back to the days when he’d sworn to protect Belle and how he had failed. Frank had just been bigger and stronger and meaner.
The last to approach him was Cassie. She was old enough to have memories of him. He smiled at her. Belle’s oldest was tall and lanky and shy. Had he been a good uncle?
An image of holding her on the day she was born rushed him, as if it had happened yesterday. She’d been a week late and he’d laughed and said she’d waited for his return from Kuwait.
A lump formed in his throat. He swallowed it down and looked at Belle. “You got some beautiful girls here. Their father?”
“I hear he’s in North Carolina with a new wife.” She shrugged and glanced at the girls before lowering her voice. “He hasn’t caused any more trouble. Haven’t seen or heard from him since the last time you had a talk with him.”
He frowned, not liking the sound of that. “Good.”
Belle nodded, then taking the girls in hand, she left the barn.
Riff clapped him on the back. “You ready to meet those magnificent boys of yours? You did good.” The man laughed. “Course they’re my grandsons, so I might be biased, but they’re the most awesome little kids you’ll ever meet.”
“Dad, why don’t you grab some breakfast? Belle made her cinnamon rolls and breakfast tacos.”
“Of course she did.” Riff chuckled, then went down on his knees in front of the boys. “I’m going inside.” He glanced up. “You’re getting to meet your most awesome daddy.”
He stood. “If there’s anything you need, let me know. I’ll even give up my cinnamon roll.” He winked and disappeared out the large barn doors, leaving Xavier alone with his wife and three sons.
Taking a deep breath, Xavier went to the blanket and knelt. He studied the three little people that were looking at him. The goats had full tummies, so they were snuggling up with the boys. There was a little bit of climbing over each other as they settled next to the triplets.
One of the boys, the one farthest from him, with the straight hair, was ignoring the freckled one in front of him. He might not be two yet, but he was staring at Xavier with the intensity of an old man, judging him and finding him lacking.
He would be a hard one to crack. His gaze went to the other two, the ones with identical dark curls framing their faces. It was awe inspiring to look into their faces and see himself. All three had the De La Rosa eyes.
He wanted to reach out and touch the sweet, innocent faces. Pure innocence. How did someone so small, someone he didn’t even know existed, take so much of his heart with just one look?
He slipped out of the crouching position and sat on the floor with his legs crossed. A baby goat saw it as an invitation to jump into his lap. But his gaze couldn’t leave the three tiny people in front of him. They were so small.
It was a good thing he was already sitting. He didn’t think he could stand. “Hello there.”
Selena sat down next to him. Other goats climbed into her lap. She picked up a black-and-white kid as she leaned closer to the little boy next to her. “Finn, this is your daddy.”
The little boy smiled. “Daddy.” He said the word slowly as if trying it out. He lifted a small brown-and-white kid. “Want baby?”
Xavier’s heart froze. By the time he thought it would never start again, blood rushed through his limbs. It did it again. His heart started, then stopped, only to rush again. Stop. Rush. Stop. Rush.
Running a hand over Finn’s wild curls, Selena leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Then she nodded to the boy on the other side. “This is Sawyer.”
Sawyer gave him a shy grin but scooted a little closer. “Hi. My baby.” He lifted a little goat that wiggled into overdrive. The kid turned his head and nudged Sawyer’s face. The boy fell back, collapsing with laughter.
Finn didn’t hold back and crawled over to him and climbed onto his lap, next to a goat that had already camped out there. He was talking, but Xavier didn’t understand a word he was saying. He pointed at his brother. “Sawya ta da go home Mommy say no. No Sawya.”
Sawyer stood and moved a bit unsteady over to Xavier. With a very serious expression, he said something to his brother that Xavier couldn’t make out.
Xavier reached for the boy. “Is he going to fall?”
Selena laughed. “No. Despite the weaving, he’s very sturdy.”
The little boy turned to him with a nod and went on to explain something, apparently in a lot of detail.
Xavier looked to Selena for a translation, but a tiny hand gently turned his face so that he was eye to eye with Finn. The toddler was talking again. He said something about Oliver and his mommy.
All else in the world was forgotten. These little humans were part of him. There were no words.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t get his mouth to connect with his brain. The emotions that swam in his veins left no room for coherent thought. This was different. It wasn’t stress related, it was...wonderment.
Finn’s lecture came to a stop and Xavier glanced at the other two boys. Sawyer stood close by, his big eyes blinking as he took in the interaction between his brother and the father they’d just met. With a hug to the tiny goat in his arms, he gave Xavier a friendly smile.
“Thank you, Finn,” Xavier told the boy. “I’m very excited about getting to know you and your brothers. Sawyer,” he said as he nodded to the other boy, “that’s a fine goat you have right there.”
Selena pulled Sawyer into her lap. “Oliver, come over and meet your father.”
Oliver, the smallest of the three, wasn’t having anything to do with him. He made a point to keep his head down, looking at the goat. “That’s okay, Oliver. I get it. You don’t know me yet. Are you hungry?” He looked at Selena. “Have they eaten yet?”
“Simmon row.” Finn took Xavier’s hand, but looked back at his brother. “Ollie, go.”
For a moment, the world stopped. The tiny hand looked so small in his. The little guy was so trusting. His son. The little guy was his son. The walls closed in and breathing became difficult.
Selena went over to Oliver and took the goat from him. Lifting him to balance on her hip, she held her hand out for Sawyer. “Yes. Your tía Belle made cinnamon rolls.” Her voice was singsong as she walked to the
barn door. She glanced over her shoulder and lifted one eyebrow. “Leave the goat there, Finn. Xavier, please make sure the barn door is closed and secure. We don’t want any escapees.”
Letting go of his hand, Finn squatted down and kissed the goat on its nose. “Bye, baby.” He looked up at Xavier, then strung a long line of nonsensical words together as he pulled him toward the door to follow his mother and brothers.
Xavier hoped Finn and Sawyer had a little more distrust like Oliver when it came to meeting strangers. Surely Selena understood that even a small town like Port Del Mar could be dangerous.
As he picked Finn up, the little tyke touched Xavier’s face. “Daddy.”
The world tilted and his vision failed. Finn slid down. Xavier grabbed for the boy, but the toddler slipped out of his grasp.
This was the first time he’d completely lost his sight. He opened his mouth to call the boy back, but nothing came out.
Great. His throat wasn’t working either. A two-year-old unattended in a barn was not good. Selena had gone ahead. She had trusted him to close the barn and—
His breathing was hard and shallow. It was as if he was being pushed down by heavy waves. Panicking was not going to help.
“Xavier?” Selena had come back. “What’s wrong?”
He couldn’t see her. He couldn’t see anything. He tried telling her, but the words were trapped. Hand making wild motions, he attempted to show her that he’d lost Finn. Spinning on his heels, he waved his arms around the barn. Finn had not made a noise.
Where was he?
“Xavier. Are you unable to talk?”
He nodded, then pointed to his eyes. Using his arms, he pantomimed rocking a baby.
Her hand was on his arm. “Relax. You can’t see?”
Closing his eyes, he nodded. He needed to collect himself, before Finn was hurt. He took a deep breath. “Finn.”
It sounded harsh and he wasn’t sure it was clear at all.
“It’s okay. He’s with his brothers. They’re standing at the door.”
His knees hollowed out as the tension fell from his muscles.
The Texan's Surprise Return Page 5
