by Dixon, Ruby
"And Straik?" Adiron asks.
"Haven't looked for him." Zoey shrugs. "Haven't bothered. One messy bitch at a time."
Adiron glances over at me. He squeezes my ankle, as if he knows what I'm thinking. "We need to find him, too. He's got one of Jade's people on board his ship. She's going to need rescuing."
"Like I said, one crisis at a time." Zoey looks disgruntled. "Surely he can wait for a while? What's his connection to all this shit other than he's got a human on board?"
"It's not just that. We've got to get our hands on the Star again before he does. If he turns around and goes back, I worry what's going to happen with the ship."
Kivian pauses and leans over the control panel in front of him. His sleeves look like they have more fabric on each arm than I do on my entire body, and all of it shimmers. "Can I just say it's damned odd that he'd spend all that time hunting for his family's ship, then turn around and leave in the middle of the night? Seems strange and unlike him." He shakes his head. "Rumor has it that he's fairly ruthless. What is it that's got him tucking his tail?"
Zoey tilts her head. "Who cares about him? I want to know what was on the Star." Her eyes glitter with excitement. "Silks? Weapons?"
"Oh, kef." Adiron grimaces. "Speaking of problems…"
73
JADE
"Humans?" Zoey swallows, pale.
"A whole kef-ton of them," Adiron agrees. "We think Straik was just as shocked as we were, and that's why he ran. Didn't like finding out his precious family was into dirty business." His big hand plays over my foot, rubbing the underside and then tweaking my little toe. It's a silent call-out to me, that little touch, because he's always joking about how our “extra” toes and fingers are weird. He's trying to distract me.
It's sweet, and it makes me love him all the more.
"What do we do?" Zoey asks, glancing over at Kivian.
Kivian doesn't even hesitate. "My brother lives on a farm planet that shelters humans. They'll be safe from slavery there. They'll get a plot of land, a home, and they can be free. We just have to get them there."
Adiron looks over at me, and I realize that if I object, he'll support me. It's a good feeling. "I suppose Earth is out of the question?" I ask, because I have to. It doesn't come up at all, so I suspect it's not an option, but I still have to ask.
The hand on my feet tenses, ever so slightly.
"There's nothing left to go back to," Zoey blurts out, her expression hard. "Earth had an 'event' a few years back and the world as we know it is gone. Unfortunately, mesakkah space is all there is for us."
"Oh," I say softly. So much death. All of humanity…gone? I can’t process it. Maybe it’ll sink in later, but for now it doesn’t register. Absently, I wonder what it was that finally killed my planet—nuclear bombs? Global warming? I guess it doesn't matter, but it makes me sad. I'm three years gone from life on Earth, but those in the pods aren't aware of what's happened. "Farm planet it is, then."
"It's the best, I think," Zoey says.
"Some of the stasis pods house gladiators," Adiron says, a warning in his breath. "One or two dangerous ones particularly. Crulden the Ruiner's in there."
Zoey looks nonplussed, but Kivian's eyes widen.
"If that's the case, then there's bound to be a bounty or two for their safe return." Kivian shrugs. "We can return them to pay for fuel costs, or turn them over to the authorities to be properly imprisoned."
"Imprisoned?" I ask. "Why?"
"They're killers." Kivian and Adiron exchange a glance. "Killers that are usually pumped full of chemicals and trained to kill whatever's in front of them…so they're rewarded with a nubile female slave. You can't mix them in with the normal population."
Oof. Okay. I have to remember that this end of the universe has different rules to what's acceptable in their society. How ironic that a kiss is considered revolting, but they don't blink an eye at a gladiator tearing his enemy apart. "All right. When do we take the humans to this planet, then?"
"Once we get this ship coded over to Bethiah—"
Bethiah pops her head up from behind a panel and grins wickedly. "I'm glad we came to an agreement on that."
Zoey rolls her eyes. "More like no one wanted to hear you screeching all the way back to Jerrok's asteroid."
"Effective, isn't it?" Bethiah seems unbothered. "Speaking of my ship—I think I'll call her The Sore Loser. You know, after her original owner. What are you planning on doing with Shaalyn?”
"What, you mean we can't leave her in your hold?" Zoey looks over at Bethiah.
"Only if you want me to accidentally 'oops' space her." Bethiah shrugs. "I can make it happen. No one needs to know."
"I think she needs to be given to Jade," Adiron says.
Wait, what? "Why me?" I squawk, alarmed.
"Well, you can't let her go," Bethiah says in a helpful way. "She'll run her mouth and come after you—and your cargo of humans—the moment you let her go."
"You just want her taken care of so she doesn't come after your ship," Zoey mutters, but she looks over at her brother. "Whatever you want to do, I'm fine with."
Adiron just looks over at me.
I stare back, my mind blank. How am I supposed to know what to do with Shaalyn? I mean, I punched her and I enjoyed it. Now that everyone's safe, though, I don't know that I can deem myself her executioner. I shake my head. "I can't."
"She wouldn't think twice about killing you," Zoey says, a hard expression on her face. "Or selling you."
"I'm not saying I like her," I retort. "Or that I want to be best buddies. I just don't want to kill her. Just because she's evil doesn't mean I need to stoop to her level." Is that a flash of disappointment in Adiron's eyes? I feel guilty that I can't be as casual about someone's death as they are. Maybe I'd feel different if Shaalyn had a gun in her hands and I had to rely on instinct. Right now, though—she's neutralized.
"So you'd rather her come after you the moment we dump her somewhere?" Zoey's expression remains hard. "Because that's exactly what's going to happen unless you silence her somehow."
"Does that have to mean death?" I ask, frowning.
Bethiah brightens. "I'll cut her tongue out. Silence, just like you wanted."
"She's got hands," Kivian points out. "She can type."
"I'll get rid of them, too." Bethiah doesn't seem too bothered by this thought.
I press my hands to my face, because now I'm envisioning a handless, tongueless Shaalyn and it's not doing wonders for my stomach. "Mutilation isn't the answer, either." It's clear that we can't let her go, though. This is like when we were back on the Star, confronted with pirates we had to get rid of, somehow. "When we were on our ship, we were boarded by pirates a few times. We'd pretend to be helpless, gas them until they were unconscious, and then toss them into an escape pod from their ship. The gas we used wiped their memories for the prior period and so they didn't know how to get back to our ship—we'd turn off our distress signal for months on end, and no one ever came back around. Can't we do something like that?"
"Drug her, strip the pod of any sort of communication equipment, and launch her into deep space?" Zoey nods slowly. "I don't hate it. It'd be easier to just rid the universe of her entirely, but we can do it this way, too."
I look over at Adiron, and for once, his expression is impossible to read. Is he disappointed I don't have the stones to hang with them? That I'm showing too much conscience to be a pirate? Zoey doesn't seem disturbed at the thought of killing Shaalyn, but just like I can't abandon all those sleeping people to their fates, I can't cold-bloodedly murder a woman just because she's an awful bitch.
But Adiron nods. He rubs my foot again, touching my little toe. "We'll do as Jade wants."
74
JADE
The Jabberwock is a much bigger ship than Shaalyn's (now Bethiah's), but it's still far smaller than the Star. We're shown on board, and I meet everyone. They have eight people on board—four men and four women. Fran is Kivia
n's wife, utterly beautiful and absolutely gracious. She acts as a hostess as she leads me around the ship, showing me the mess hall, the lavatories, and which parts are off limits for guests. There's a spacious rec-room that the crew loves to use, and when we get in there, I meet Alyvos and Iris. Iris wears a strange blinder over her eyes, and I can tell immediately that her vision is impaired. It's in the way she holds her head, the way she scans the room before settling on someone's location. But she's an absolute sweetheart. She's all smiles as she gets up and hands a baby to Fran.
A baby, of all things.
"This is my daughter," Fran says, pressing a kiss to the top of the baby's head, right between a pair of nubby horns just starting to sprout. "Her name is Jasmine, and if you tell me that she looks like me and not her father, I'll love you forever."
I drink in the sight of the infant, who's all wriggling arms and legs. She's blue skinned and…she really doesn't look like Fran. Maybe in the eyes, but the rest of her seems to be her father. "Um…"
Iris just chuckles. "Don't worry. Everyone comes to the same conclusion."
I smile, and when Fran holds the baby out to me, I take her. Jasmine's like any human baby, really. She's bigger, and she's got blue skin and horns. She's got a tail. But the bright eyes that look up at me are the same as the ones on Earth. The toothless mouth and drool on her chin are universal, as are the flailing fists as she stares up at me and makes gurgling noises of happiness. She's…adorable. Maybe my maternal instinct is kicking in, or maybe Jasmine is utterly gorgeous, but I've never seen such an appealing baby, and I'm filled with longing, excitement, and a hint of dread.
Just because Kivian wants a baby doesn't mean Adiron does.
"I could eat her up with a spoon," I tell Fran, snuggling Jasmine against my cheek. "She's adorable."
"She is, isn't she?" Fran adjusts the charming little outfit on her daughter—it's little more than a pale purple sac with sleeves, but it's got ruffles all over the hem and great big puffs on the arms…and I realize Kivian's dressed almost exactly like his daughter. My heart squeezes all over again. He's clearly a proud dad. "Where's Adiron?"
Before Fran can answer, someone speaks up behind her. "He's helping Tarekh handle Shaalyn's pod."
I turn and look over at Zoey. Her expression is neutral, but I can tell she's not happy with me. Fran clears her throat, takes the baby from my arms, and goes to sit with Iris. "Any time you want to come give Jasmine a snuggle, you're welcome," Fran tells me. "Since you're here, Zoey, why don't you show Jade to her quarters?"
I almost feel like I'm being set up. My skin prickles, but I keep a smile on my face. Zoey is Adiron's sister. I don't think she'd do anything to hurt him. The affection between them is too great. Even though I've just met Zoey today, it's obvious to me in the way they grin at each other, the way they tease, and the way Zoey seems so relieved to have found him. And I'm much safer here on the Jabberwock than I am on Shaalyn's ship, especially with that Bethiah person at the helm. She seems…not all there.
A ship with babies and a bunch of human women can't be bad, especially if they came to rescue Adiron. I'm just…worrying. There's so many things up in the air right now—the fates of my friends, the people in the stasis pods, the baby inside me—that I can't seem to turn around without running headlong into another crisis.
I just want to curl up in bed with Adiron and have everything be okay for just a day or two.
I wave goodbye to the others and follow Zoey through the ship. She's pleasant enough, pausing to tease Cat—big Tarekh's diminutive mate—a little before leading me onward. We get to a door and she opens it, then gestures I should go inside. I do…and I'm not entirely surprised to see that the room looks very similar to the one I left behind on the Star. Double bed, neutral plas-sheets and no pillow, a wall panel with buttons all over it, and the door to a lavatory. In the corner, there's a small table attached to the wall and a couple of chairs for sitting. Zoey pulls a slim paperback out of her pocket and sets it on the table. "Housewarming present. We tend to swap books, just FYI. If you ever run across anything—and you will—save them. We meet up every other month or so and do a big book swap with some of the Earth women we know."
"Thank you," I tell her sincerely. "I haven't read a book in over three years. I'm going to enjoy every page."
She purses her lips and nods, hesitating in the doorway.
Time to get it all out in the open. "You don't like me, do you?"
Zoey opens her mouth, and then closes it with a snap. "I don't know you," she confesses. "But if Adiron is in love with you, then I'm sure we'll get along. He's been lonely for a long time and I've never seen him so happy. I think you're good for him…" She pauses and trails off.
"But?" I ask, because I know there's a “but” in there somewhere. My stomach is tight with nerves.
She drums her fingers on her crossed arms and then sighs. "It's not you specifically. It's that…" She pauses and then rushes on. "You're still thinking like a human."
I tilt my head, confused. "I am human."
"Yes, and you've seen what this end of the universe does to humans, right? If we're not lapdogs, we're chewed up and spit out." She paces for a moment, frowning. "You're thinking that life is good and fair and things are just and that bad guys always get their due. You think it's not your place to be executioner, right?" She shakes her head. "And that's going to fuck you up, in the end."
I blink in surprise. I can't believe Adiron's human sister is telling me I'm not bloodthirsty enough. "You think I should have told them to kill Shaalyn?"
She pauses, clasping her hands under her chin. "I think you're not thinking far enough ahead. What if she comes back for revenge? What if she decides that Adiron has wronged her and makes it her mission in life to fuck him—and his mate—over? That's my point. You think like a human—but these people don't. You have to think like them if you're going to survive." Her expression grows firm. "Or you're going to die and take my brother down with you."
I stare at her in shock.
"I'm telling you this as a friend," Zoey says softly. "No one would be happier than me to see you and Adi happy and growing old together. But I've been out here in space for over ten years now. I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've adapted. And I think you should do the same." She moves forward and puts a hand on my shoulder. "You chose to spare Shaalyn because you didn't want to be the one with blood on your hands. That she deserves a fair shake, yes?"
Wordlessly, I nod.
"Did they tell you that Shaalyn murdered her crew?" When I gasp, Zoey ruthlessly goes on. "Bethiah was serving on her ship, right? And she turned on her to try and take control. Shaalyn couldn't be sure who else was on her side, so she went through the ship and slaughtered her own men in order to save her own hide. That's the kind of person you're dealing with. That's the kind of person you sent off in an escape pod because you couldn't get your hands dirty. I'm not telling you this to be cruel. I'm telling you that if the tables were turned, she would absolutely take every chance she had to claw her way ahead, and you need to realize that." She pats my arm. "Kindness is an admirable trait, but only back on Earth."
She turns and leaves me alone in the room with my thoughts.
75
ADIRON
I'm itching to get back to Jade. Everyone on the Jabberwock is great, and I love seeing my sister and her mate Sentorr, but it's been far too many hours since I held my mate, and I need her desperately. I want to bury my face against her soft, dark skin and just breathe in her scent. I want to hold her curves against my body and just…lie there for a week, wrapped around her. Yeah, that sounds good.
Eventually, Shaalyn and her sole remaining greenhorn are dispatched into the pod. Her shrieks of anger are the last things I hear as the pod is sealed, and then she's the universe's problem. I watch as the pod drifts away, on a slow trajectory into nothing at all.
Bethiah comes to my side. "You think I should have 'oops' programmed her to fly right into the
ice field?"
I shake my head. "Jade wants her to have a fair shake, so she will." My female has a heart as soft and ample as her bottom, and I love that about her. "Speaking of, I'm going to go find my female. Good flying to you." I clap a hand on Bethiah's slim shoulder. "Where are you headed?"
"Someplace quiet where I can give this girl a new face." She strokes the ship's wall panel.
"To Jerrok's, then?"
A strange expression crosses her face. "Not for a while."
"Something happen?"
"Nope. Just, ah, I had a prisoner the last time I visited Jerrok, and said prisoner might have gotten away." She gives me an impish look. "Once I give this lady a new face, I might go hunting for that prisoner. I don't want him to think I forgot him."
Er, okay then. "Good hunting, then."
* * *
When I get to our quarters on the Jabberwock, I find Jade laying on the bed, a distant look on her face. She looks…sad? The sight of that guts me. "Jade, love. What's wrong?"
"I'm fucking everything up."
I have no idea what she's talking about, but she looks so miserable that my heart hurts. I move to the bed and slide over to the other side of her, spooning her smaller body with my bigger one. My tail wraps around her leg and I slide my arm around her. She pushes back against me, tucking herself even closer, and I press a kiss to the side of her face. How many times did we curl up like this on the Star, doing nothing at all? We'd talk for hours. We'd share stories. We'd kiss. We may not be on the Star anymore, but as far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. I brush her hair back from her face with gentle fingers. "Why do you think you're fucking everything up?"
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "None of this would have happened if I'd stayed in the wall like you told me to. I messed up, and I just keep on messing up."
