by Dixon, Ruby
I pause. "I mean…if you had stayed in the wall, it might have worked out differently, but it might not. And you didn't know Shaalyn like I do. You didn't realize she was bluffing. But it's over and done with. She's in the pod now, drifting out to who knows where and probably yelling at her last remaining crew member." I shake my head at the thought, because I can't blame those males. I once fell madly in love with the female that I thought Shaalyn was. Ruthless, yes, but fun-loving and exciting. Turns out she's just ruthless and self-serving. Those dead crew-members she slaughtered to save herself? That could have been me, and I'm glad that I had my brothers to pull me free from her influence. "I'm not mad about Shaalyn, though. It all ended well, so there's nothing to worry about."
"Did it end well, though?" Jade sounds morose. "I couldn't let them threaten you, so I gave up my own safety and our chances at outwitting them. And then when it came time to dispose of her, here I go insisting that you should let her go. Your sister told me I have too soft of a heart and that I keep thinking like a human, and it's going to end up causing us problems in the future. And I think…maybe she's right."
I bite back a groan. Zoey means well, but my sister's just as protective of us as we are of her. "No, Jade. There's nothing wrong with your soft heart. My sister thinks that because she grew up with a bunch of pirates that the only way to thrive is to be as rough and tumble as the rest of us. Yet she mated a male that's practically her opposite, because she fell in love with him. Just because she thinks you need to be tougher doesn't mean that I do."
She sinks into my arms. "I love you, Adiron. I just don't want you to feel like you're trapped or stuck with me—"
"Stuck with you?" I repeat, incredulous. "There's nothing I love more than being 'stuck' with you." I press a kiss to the side of her face, and when that garners a hint of a smile, I keep kissing her. I press fervent kisses against her cheek and her hair, until she's squirming and chuckling at my attention. "I would love nothing more than to be stuck with you for the rest of my days." I kiss her ear and then give it a gentle nip with my teeth. "Stuck in bed with a sexy, gorgeous female. It's SUCH a hardship."
A smile curves her mouth, and I feel a little better at the sight of it. I kiss her again, just because I love kissing her, and my cock stirs in my trou. Right now Jade needs comfort and affection, but of course, my body doesn't know that. My dick thinks it's playtime. I don't act on it just yet, though. I just keep holding and kissing Jade, because she seems to need it. Her hands are on the arm I have wrapped around her, and it almost feels as if she's clinging to me for dear life.
"Does that ease your mind?" I ask her between kisses. "That I like that soft, bleeding heart of yours? I think it's good to have a different perspective. A gentler one. Sometimes a ship full of males needs it."
She turns her head, and this time, I kiss her lips. Jade gazes up at me, but her eyes still look troubled. "What happens now?" she asks.
"We get to the Star and use the Jabberwock to haul it to my friend Jerrok's. He's the one I told you about that lives on an asteroid. He's the one we left Sophie with. We'll pick her up, too. She's probably more than ready to leave. And there's the carinoux, though I'm not sure what we're going to do with that thing. Find a buyer, I guess."
"What about you and me?" Jade asks softly. "And what about my friends? And your brothers?"
"We'll hunt for them, too. They're bound to show up somewhere." I can't resist nipping her ear again, because it usually leads towards sex, and my mind is absolutely focused on sex right now. I've solved Jade's worries, and now my cock can get some attention, hopefully. "And then you and I go gallivanting around the universe."
She looks up at me. "Is that what we're going to do?"
"Did…you have a better idea?"
"I don't know," she admits. She presses her mouth to my bicep. "Do pirates need a bleeding heart human with them?"
"This one does," I reassure her, and flick my tail over the apex of her thighs, testing the waters. And when Jade turns over and slides her arms around my neck, I kiss her fully on the mouth, dragging her leg up around my hips. It's been hours since we've mated, and I need her just as much as she needs me.
76
JADE
I wake up the next morning with Adiron wrapped around me and a view of the Buoyant Star in the window. I sit up and stare out at it. Sometime while I slept and fooled around with Adiron in bed, we returned to the Star, hitched it up, and are now tugging it behind the Jabberwock. I can see delicate metal cords tying the ships together, though that seems dangerous to me. These people know how to operate their ships better than I do, though, so I try not to worry too much. I vaguely remember something about my space teachings back in school, about how an object in motion will remain in motion until something else acts against it, so I suppose it's less “hauling” and more “leading.”
Just seeing the Star there makes me feel a little better, though. There's no danger of an ice field. There's no worry about being a sitting duck, all alone in unfamiliar space.
Now if we can just find Adiron's brothers and Alice, Helen and Ruth, I'll be thrilled. I'll be able to finally relax a little. Hopefully.
I glance down at Adiron in the bed. He's got all the blankets wrapped around him, because of course he does, and his big body takes up most of the bed. He slept for most of the night with me clutched against his chest, though, so I don't mind if he's a bit of a bed hog. After yesterday, I'm just thrilled to have him in my bed at all.
I shiver, thinking about how it felt to go into stasis. How painful it was as the cold crept through my body. It was like being forced to watch your body slowly turning to ice, and just thinking about it makes me cold. I lie down in bed again, and Adiron immediately reaches for me, dragging me against his big body.
Next to him in bed might be my favorite place in the universe, I muse. He—
My stomach lurches, and my mouth fills with saliva. This time, my body isn't waiting for a bowl-full of noodles to get sick.
I bolt from the bed and slam into the lavatory, then puke my guts up.
"Jade?" Adiron's sleepy voice drifts through the cabin. "Love?"
"Just…just a minute." I manage between retching. "I'm…fine."
"You don't sound fine." Footsteps echo in the room and then the lavatory door opens. In the next moment, a hand is on the small of my back. "You don't look fine, either. What did you eat?"
"Nothing," I manage, gasping. I feel a little better now that my stomach is empty, and I wipe my mouth and manage a wan smile as I look over at my mate. "It's okay, really."
The look on Adiron's face is one of worry. "You have been sick repeatedly. Is this a human thing? Zoey was never sick like this unless she ate something bad." He rubs my back, eyes wide. "Is this the sickness that Alice had, do you think? Shaalyn said that they wouldn't let Alice and Kaspar on their ship because Alice was sick."
I shake my head. "I don't think so. It's fine. I just need to eat something." And tell him about the baby. That's the obvious solution—tell him that I'm sick because I'm pregnant. But I can't make the words come out of my mouth. I'm afraid he won't be excited. That whatever tenuous happiness we have right now will disappear into thin air the moment there's a baby in the mix.
Adiron doesn't look convinced. "More crackers?"
I shrug and get up from the floor…and then immediately go down again as another wave of nausea hits me.
"I'll get you some food," Adiron tells me, and leaves.
By the time he returns, I'm dressed and cleaned up and feel like myself again. My stomach growls, and when he shows up with a hard protein bar and a tumbler of water, I give him a grateful smile. "It's passed," I say. "But I appreciate the food."
"It's not noodles," he tells me, setting the food down on the tiny table and then guiding me over to it as if I'm feeble. "I made sure it wasn't noodles."
"Really, I'm fine," I protest.
"Should I talk to Kivian and Fran? Get you some medicine?" he asks. It's clear
he doesn't believe my protestations.
I shake my head and take a hearty bite of the protein bar to prove that I'm fine. Adiron doesn't believe me, and keeps watching me with a worried expression, even after I finish eating and drinking. I reach over and take his hand, interlocking our fingers. "What's the plan for today? Do we just hang out in here?"
"I'm supposed to help Tarekh and Alyvos go over the systems over on the Buoyant Star to see what we can get running, but I'm going to tell them you're sick. I can do it some other time—"
I interrupt him and squeeze his hand. "You can go. Really. I promise you the sickness has passed." When he hesitates again, I continue, my expression full of smiles. "I'll see if Fran and the others need some help. I'm sure they can give me something to do. It'll be nice to stay busy after years of idleness."
Adiron rubs his jaw with his other hand, looking as if he doesn't quite believe me. After a few moments, though, he sighs. "Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"And you'll tell me if you start to feel sick again? You'll have the others send me a comm?"
I nod.
He doesn't seem happy, but eventually, Adiron agrees and we leave our room, then part after sharing a few kisses with the promise of more tonight. He casts me a worried look over his shoulder as he heads toward the maintenance rooms, and I keep my expression bright and chipper until he's gone. Then, I head for the rec room and peer in, looking for others.
Fran's inside, seated on a couch, the baby on a blanket on the floor. She's got a book in her hand and one eye on Jasmine, and she looks as beautiful and put together as usual. Her hair is sleek and glossy, and her clothes are subdued (at least compared to Kivian's) but fit her gorgeous body like a glove. She looks up when I approach and sets her book down carefully. "I was wondering when you'd come to talk."
"Me?" I ask, curious.
She just gives me a knowing look. "Adiron came into the mess this morning all frantic. He needed a protein bar for you because you were sick. Told us you were off noodles, too." She licks her lips and eyes me. "Same thing happened when I was pregnant with this one. Does he know?"
Busted.
77
JADE
I move to sit next to Fran, the weight of my secret pressing on me. She knows I'm pregnant. And if she's figured it out, it won't take long before the entire ship knows. Not that I really care about what anyone thinks other than Adiron…but I need to be the one to tell him. "I haven't said anything yet," I admit. "There hasn't been much time. I just found out when we got captured. I didn't even think it was possible."
"The mesakkah are interesting," Fran says, her voice mild. "Some of the things they do seem strange and antiquated to me, but their technology is leagues ahead of anything Earth has, and their medical expertise is incredible. Babies between two different species are easily handled, as long as you've got the money to pay for the doctor."
"Doctor?"
"Right." She grimaces. "Your path was different than mine, I'm guessing, if the pregnancy was a surprise to you. Kivian and I saved up for fertility shots. You pay a doctor that's familiar with treating humans, he stuffs you full of hormones and medical treatments, and it makes you pregnant. I'm guessing they did something similar to you while you were sleeping?"
"They must have." I shake my head. "I don't remember any of it."
"Well…I'm not going to tell you what to do with your own body." Fran picks up a metal ring with a few clanky bits on it and shakes it in front of Jasmine's face. The baby's arms and legs flail and she bounces on her stomach, trying to get to the “keys.” "But if you need to intervene, we have a med-bay on the ship that can take care of it."
It's that simple, I guess. Just push a button and all your problems are solved. Adiron never needs to know.
I swallow hard, because everything about that feels wrong to me, and yet…it's a simple solution, isn't it? "I just don't know if it's safe to bring up a baby. I don't have a home. I don't have a dollar to my name. I'm completely dependent on Adiron and you guys. That frightens me."
"I understand." Fran's voice is full of sympathy. She shakes the keys again, and Jasmine makes a gurgle of excitement, her little legs dancing.
I don't know if she does understand. She seems so calm. So at ease. "Do you live somewhere else? Are you just visiting?"
Fran smiles. "No, I live here all the time. I think Kivian would die if he had to leave me and Jas behind. I might, too. We're not good at being apart."
I'm a little afraid of offending her, but fuck it. "Do you think it's wise to have a baby on a pirate ship? That it's safe? Because it doesn't seem safe to me."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Fran seems unruffled by my words. She leans over and picks up Jasmine. The baby has drool all down her chin, but the look she gives her mother is adoring, and Fran is rewarded with a bright, happy smile full of gums and slobber. "But being here on a ship with people that love and care about me is safer than anywhere else in this universe. It's not a nice place for humans." She gives me a wry smile as she bounces her daughter on her knee.
Not a nice place for humans is kinda an understatement. "I know it's not safe. I just…"
"Have a hard time reconciling this lifestyle to one back on Earth?" She gives me a knowing look. "You'll get there. And really, who's to say we were any safer back on Earth? Someone could drive their car through your living room or your plane could crash and you'd be just as dead. I'm happy with Kivian. Jasmine's happy. We have a crew full of people that help out when we need a break." She lifts the baby and kisses one fat, pale blue cheek and then holds her out to me. "Time to stop thinking about what you've been told is the right answer, and adapt to life out here." Fran shrugs. "If you don't want children, it's a different conversation entirely but…that's not what you were asking, is it?"
It's not. Because as worried as I am, I do want children. Maybe my biological clock is ticking, but the thought of having Adiron's baby fills me with such joy and such utter terror. I've always wanted a family…I just never thought I'd have it with an alien. In space.
But like Fran said, maybe it's time to stop thinking like I'm back on Earth. It's the same thing Zoey said, too. "I'm worried Adiron doesn't want kids," I confess, even as I take Jasmine in my arms and settle her on my lap.
"Have you asked him?" Fran studies me.
"Of course not," I joke. "I'm busy being a big scaredy cat."
Fran laughs. "If there's one thing I know, it's that a human that manages to live on their own for three years on an abandoned ship is anything but a scaredy cat."
"Heard about that, did you?" I murmur, studying Jasmine. The baby stuffs one little fist into her mouth and stares up at me with fascinated eyes. God, she really is cute. Large, but cute. Adiron's baby would be large, too. A guy that big would never have a tiny child. I wonder if our baby would have my hair or my skin, or if it'd look just like Adi. The thought makes me melt inside. A big, fat baby with his naughty grin and easygoing sense of humor. "I guess…I'm just telling myself that I need a moment for things to be calm and quiet. For it to be safe."
Fran's look is sympathetic. "You might be waiting a while."
Boy, don't I know that. I could be waiting years again. After all, Ruth's gone god-knows-where, Alice is lost in space—literally—and there's been no sign of Helen at all. My little family is scattered to the four corners, and all I've got is Adiron.
I've put my trust in him, but at the same time, I'm terrified. I like being in control, and ever since Shaalyn arrived to turn our world upside down, things have been anything but in control.
"Waiting a while for what?" a familiar voice asks from the doorway.
My stomach clenches. I turn and give Adiron a bright smile. "Didn't see you there."
He grins and saunters into the room. "I haven't transferred over to the Star yet. I wanted to see if Jade wanted to come with me. Thought you might like to visit your stomping grounds to see what's being changed." He moves to my side and strokes my hair, th
en holds a finger out for Jasmine to grab. "Looks like you're having fun without me, though."
I look up at him, a little surprised. I don't know why I am. He's always so thoughtful. It's me that never quite seems to believe someone like him exists. Someone so perfect for me. Wordlessly, I gesture at the baby. "Want to hold her?"
It's a test, of course. Fran casts me a knowing glance, but I say nothing.
"Aw, I'd love to." Adiron scoops Jasmine up from my lap and swings her into the air. He gives her a little toss that makes my heart stop, but Fran only smiles. "Have you missed your Uncle Adi, Jasmine? Have you?" His voice takes on a silly note, and he makes a ridiculous face as he nuzzles her belly. "You want me to teach you to be a mean old pirate just like Zoey? I bet you do."
Jasmine squeals with laughter, her little legs kicking. She giggles, the sound sweet and full of joy, and it's clear she's played this game with Adiron before.
I feel a little silly at giving him a test. Of course he likes kids. He's incredibly close with Zoey, who they've raised since she was small. Of course he likes babies. Judging from the way he's acting with Jasmine—all kissy faces and silly voices—I've been worrying over nothing. "I'll come with you over to the Star," I agree.
Once we're over there, I'll confess my secret.
78
ADIRON
Jade seems to be in a better mood as we take one of the escape pods and zoom over to the Star. She wants to know why we don't do the ship-to-ship walkway, and I explain that the angle of the ship we're towing makes it easier, cost-wise, to just take a pod there and back. As we fly the escape pod into the Star's receiving bay, I glance over at my mate. She's not sick, and her eyes seem bright. It's a good thing, but I still can't help but worry. I don't like that everything upsets her stomach lately, and I need to see if there's something I can do to help.
"How long until we get the Star back to your friend's place?" Jade asks, curious as I settle the pod gently in the bay.
