For Passion

by Jeannette Winters

  Overall, things had gone well. She wasn’t going to allow a bump in the road to ruin this. She was a fighter. Just like my brother was. Easing into the hot water, she knew she needed to let it go. That was easier said than done. She hadn’t gone through anything else from Frank’s apartment. The only thing she had looked at every day was that list. If she couldn’t find it in the morning, she was going to go crazy. She had all the veggies listed on her board, but it wasn’t the same. She thought back to the last time she’d seen it. Ellie had been making dinner with Josh. Had she opened that drawer? Could it have fallen out? Gotten stuck on the bottom of something and accidentally thrown in the trash?

  Anything was possible. She’d been paying attention to Josh, nothing else. He was the one who had cleaned the counters while she did the dinner dishes. Anyone who would’ve seen it never would’ve suspected it to be of any importance.

  Ellie was tempted to call Josh to ask him if he remembered seeing it. But how ridiculous would it be to call him at this hour? No. She couldn’t do that. Morning would be here soon enough, and then she would begin her search again. If she didn’t locate it, she’d reach out to him. But if he’d accidentally tossed it out, she didn’t want him to feel bad about it. He had no idea what it meant to her. But I know he’d understand if I told him.

  Chapter Eight

  Josh had gone to sleep, but then he got the message that Ellie was up most of the night. They weren’t able to tell him why just that the lights were off, then back on several times until almost dawn. Ellie usually went to bed at a reasonable hour and was up bright and early. Something had been troubling her. Had it been his quick departure? Was she feeling ill?

  He’d been tempted to call or show up, but what reason would he have given her? Instead even when he found out she’d gone to bed, he’d been unable to rest. Instead of showing up empty-handed as he normally did, he was going to change it up a bit. Knowing that the shop would be open by eight, Josh decided she might enjoy breakfast.

  He stopped at a diner not far from her shop and grabbed enough breakfast for six, having no idea what she liked to eat in the morning. Josh wanted to be prepared for anything. Standing at the door with three full bags of food, he realized he might have gone overboard. That didn’t prevent him from knocking. He really didn’t care about the food, he just wanted to see her.

  Josh knocked on the door, but she didn’t answer. So he knocked louder, and she still didn’t come. Don’t answer this time and I’m breaking this fucking door down. Finally the light flicked on, and he could see her approaching the door.

  Ellie unlocked it but said nothing as she turned around, heading back where she’d come from. By her attire, he would say that was bed. Her hair was tousled, and she wore a long T-shirt with a hissing cat on the front saying, “Talk before coffee at your own risk.” Josh decided against speaking for now and let himself inside, locking the door behind him.

  Instead of following her, he headed to the kitchen. He knew right away what she’d been up all night doing. There wasn’t any place for him to put the bags down. You really have been busy. Hopefully not with more broccoli.

  He knew exactly what needed to be done first. Make a pot of coffee. As it brewed Josh washed the dishes that were in the sink, which made room for another batch to soak. He hadn’t done this many dishes since before he’d joined the Marines. Not that he enjoyed doing them, but helping Ellie, even in this way, felt good.

  While the second batch soaked, he wiped down the counters. He was almost done when Ellie came in.

  “What are you doing?” Ellie asked.

  “Maybe after a cup of coffee, we can talk about it,” Josh teased.

  Ellie opened her mouth as though she was going to protest, then turned toward the coffee pot. She didn’t say another word until she had a few sips. That gave Josh time to finish what he’d started. When he finished, he grabbed the bags containing breakfast and set them on the counter.

  In a softer voice, Ellie said, “Josh, I’m sorry if I snapped at you.”

  “First, you didn’t snap. Second, I get it. I keep just . . . showing up.”

  Ellie nodded. “And I still can’t figure out why.” She looked around and continued, “You didn’t have to do all this. I was going to get to it when I got up.”

  “Since you’ve been up all night, I figured you might want to rest a bit.”

  “How do you know I was up?” She looked puzzled then asked, “Were you watching me?”

  Thankfully his answer wasn’t a lie. He wasn’t, just his team. Josh responded, “No. I saw your kitchen. Either you baked all night, or a bomb went off in here.”

  Ellie snickered. “Bomb? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

  “If you’d have seen it before you drank your coffee, maybe you’d have agreed. What inspired you last night? Was it me?” Josh asked, giving her a wink.

  “You mean to trash my kitchen?” Ellie asked, teasing him right back.

  Damn, I like that about you. You don’t take my shit. “That would explain the flour everywhere.”

  In a more serious tone, Ellie said, “I really appreciate you cleaning up. But you didn’t have to, you know. I would’ve gotten to it.”

  “I know, but I wanted to help. Besides I was here anyway.”

  “Yeah. Why are you here again?” Ellie asked.

  Josh pointed to the bags. “I brought breakfast.”

  Ellie’s eyes widened. “Are you feeding an army or are there others here I’m not awake enough to see?”

  He laughed. “I wanted to make sure I got you what you liked. Since I had no idea what that was, I may have been overzealous with the order.”

  “You think?” She went to the bag, and he watched as she pulled out one container after another. “Blueberry pancakes. Eggs. Bacon. Sausage. Toast. Oatmeal. Muffins. Fruit. Waffles. Canadian ham.” She looked back at him. “This is more than I eat in a week, never mind one meal.”

  Josh walked up and stood beside her. “This isn’t all for you. I’m eating too.”

  “Oh, that’s so much better. Now we only have food for three days.”

  He gave her a playful pat on her ass and said, “Trust me, it’ll be gone by the time I leave.” He grabbed one of the containers and scooped out a large amount of the eggs, placing them on his plate.

  Ellie raised a hand. “Eat slow.”

  “Why?” Josh asked.

  “So you don’t leave for a while. Unless you have other plans today.”

  Perfect. “I’m where I want to be.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Now let’s eat before it gets cold.” Or before I change my mind and pull you into my arms. Because that’s really what I want.

  Josh piled his plate high while Ellie grabbed the oatmeal and fresh fruit. It was no wonder she was so tiny. The few times they’d eaten together, she didn’t eat enough.

  “You have to eat more than that.”

  Ellie shrugged. “I used to. Lately, I haven’t been hungry.”

  That was a sign of depression even if she didn’t know it. He would love to make all her internal pain vanish, but nothing he said or did could bring Frank back to her. All he could do was be here while she went through it.

  “You’ve been through a lot.”

  She looked up into his eyes. “And it will get easier?”

  “Over time.”

  He saw the sadness filling her again. Josh wanted to pull her into his arms and not let go. But Gabe’s voice chimed in his earpiece.

  “Fingerprints are a match for one person only. That is Ellie.”

  Rafe asked, “No other prints at all?”

  “None, except for lover boy over there,” Gabe replied.

  Josh held in the comment that was bursting to get out. But he couldn’t let Ellie know he, once again, wasn’t paying full attention to her. Especially at a time like this when she needed him. He couldn’t make an excuse and leave again. That would only cause her more pain than she was already s
truggling with today. “Why don’t you go get ready? The shop will be opening soon, and I think that nightshirt of yours might . . . deter the customers.”

  Ellie looked down and blushed. “I can’t believe I’m in my pajamas. What is wrong with me?”

  “Nothing that a good night’s sleep won’t fix. But until then, you have a business to run.”

  She smiled up at him, nodded, and said, “You’re really an amazing man, Josh Turchetta. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Before he answered, she left the kitchen and headed back toward her apartment.

  Hope you always feel that way.

  With her gone, he could ask questions. Ones that actually meant something. “So we have no way of knowing who wrote this.” Josh looked around, keeping his voice barely a whisper.

  Gabe added, “It’s definitely Frank’s handwriting. But I have no idea why he went through so much trouble not to leave even a partial print.”

  They all knew that meant this was no shopping list or some challenge for Ellie.

  “Could it be a file?” Josh asked.

  “I’ve thoroughly searched through his personal computer and phone. There was no reference to anything even close to this.”

  Rafe said, “What about his files at the Bureau?”

  Gabe coughed, and said, “Hacking into his files at the FBI would be illegal.” Neither Rafe nor Josh commented. “Got it.”

  They had crossed the legal line several times to obtain information crucial to saving lives. The red tape needed to do it legally was exactly what had cost them their sister Phoebe a few years ago. I don’t care what it takes. I’m not losing Ellie too.

  ‘How long till we know?” Josh asked.

  “The goal is not to get caught. That takes time.”

  He knew Gabe wouldn’t take the chance unless he knew he could do it. After all, Gabe was the one who’d created the firewalls and security for the FBI. Those and most other government agencies. If anyone was going to find what they were looking for, it was Gabe.

  “I need the list back,” Josh said, knowing Ellie was going to look for it eventually.

  “I made a copy; you’ll have it this afternoon,” Gabe replied.

  Since it never really was meant for Ellie, Josh had no problem giving her a forgery. “Good because this all blows up if she finds out.”

  “Finds out what, and who are you talking to?” Ellie said from behind him.

  Fuck! He’d thought she’d be much longer. Obviously, she’d forgotten something because when he turned around, Ellie was still wearing the same nightshirt.

  “I’m talking to myself.”

  She crossed her arms and said, “That’s hard to believe. And what will blow up if I find out?”

  “Tell her you were going to take her away for the weekend,” Gabe suggested.

  That wasn’t going to work, because she’d never leave her business. But that wasn’t a bad idea. “I was thinking about asking if you wanted to take a drive with me. I’ve got to check on my place back in Newport and thought that—”

  “You’re leaving?” Her voice sounded panicked.

  “No. I need to, and I hoped you might consider coming with me. It’s only for a day.”

  “And you thought that would make me blow up? Why?”

  Answering was much easier since it was the truth. “Because it means closing the shop for a day. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that.”

  “You mean today?” Ellie asked. Josh nodded. “Josh, I can’t just drop everything and go. Besides, today is one of my busier days. If it was Monday, then—”

  “You’d say yes?” Josh asked, a bit shocked she wasn’t putting up more of a fight.

  “It’s a day trip, that’s all. So yes, I’d have gone with you. I’ve always wanted to see Newport.”

  He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Josh had only said it to cover himself, but now he honestly wanted to take her to his home. “Would you consider a compromise?” It was as though the words were flowing with a mind of their own.

  “Maybe. What are you suggesting?”

  “We go tonight after the shop closes. It’s only about a three-hour drive.”

  “Three hours. You do remember that I barely slept last night.”

  He looked at her attire. She looked beautiful no matter what she wore. But her eyes, well they said she was exhausted and stressed. Josh wasn’t helping to alleviate any of that either.

  “You’re right. So how about Sunday after the shop closes we take off, and I promise to have you back Monday night.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Rafe warned in his ear.

  I’m not.

  “That seems to be a bit more than a quick drive. What makes you think I’ll go overnight with you anywhere?”

  “For the same reason you’re standing in your PJs right now. You’re comfortable with me. You trust me.” He felt the same around her. There was one problem: that was going to change quickly when the shit hit the fan.

  Ellie didn’t answer right away. Then she said, “Let me think about it. I’ll let you know my answer tonight.” Then she left the kitchen again.

  Gabe immediately said, “You’re certifiable.”

  “Knock it off, Gabe. Josh knows what he’s doing,” Rafe barked.

  And what I have to lose if I fuck this up.

  * * *

  As the hot water beat down on her back, Ellie couldn’t get Josh’s invitation out of her mind. Was it so hard for him to ask her to go with him that he needed to argue it out with himself? She got why. They hadn’t known each other very long, actually less than a week. A woman would have to be out of her mind to accept his offer. Yet, here she was contemplating doing that exact thing.

  He was right, she did trust him. Maybe it was because the very first time she laid eyes on him, he was saving her life. Even now, when she was feeling low, he appeared out of nowhere. She’d half dreaded getting up this morning to face the mess she’d left last night. But Josh once again had come to her rescue.

  She wished Frank was here now. He’d tell her . . . not to overthink it. That was something she did all the time. Her own thoughts got in her way. She always told Frank he was a hypocrite because all he did was analyze everything. But he didn’t want her living that way. I can see why. You don’t live, you just plan.

  She would take Josh up on his offer, but she wasn’t going to tell him until tonight. Letting him stew on it wasn’t very nice, but there was nothing wrong with playing a bit hard to get. Besides, she still had some questions for him. Like where would she be staying?

  Ellie wasn’t as innocent as Josh believed her to be, but she didn’t sleep around. She dated when time permitted, but the only serious boyfriend she ever had was during her college years. They had spoken about marriage and a family, but that ended when they each chose their career.

  That was Ellie’s problem, she always thought about the business, about her career. That was good in one way, but it didn’t give her much of a love life. What was the worst that could happen by going away with Josh for one night? They could find out they don’t romantically care for each other.

  Yeah, it’s too late for that.

  Or maybe she would learn that he snored so loud the windows rattled. Maybe on his turf, she would find him to be an arrogant SOB and never want to see him again.

  Or maybe I’ll have a wonderful time and it will start something . . . nice.

  She could stay in the shower all morning running through different scenarios, but her mind was already made up. Ellie didn’t have any more time to dilly-dally. She could hear her alarm going off near her bed, reminding her it was almost eight. Even if she got out of the shower now, she wouldn’t be dressed and ready to unlock the door and open for business.

  Damn.

  She moved so fast she wasn’t sure all the soap was out of her hair. It didn’t really matter. She should be glad she managed to get up and shower. If Josh hadn’t knocked so early, this might be the first time her eyes were
opening. That would really have been a late start.

  Throwing on a red and white checkered skirt with a white blouse, she looked in the mirror expecting to see something halfway decent. Instead, what greeted her was wild, unruly hair and dark, puffy, circles around her eyes. Nice. I can tell my customers this is what you look like after eating my healthy cupcakes. That will be great for business.

  Before leaving her bedroom, she needed to find a concealer from her makeup bag. There was so much in there, which was funny. Ellie only wore mascara, yet there were foundations, powders, liners, blushes, and so many shades of lipstick that had never been opened. She almost gave up until, finally, at the bottom was the one thing she actually required.

  Quickly she dabbed it on and blended it so it wasn’t so obvious. That helped with the color, but the puffiness was still apparent. If it wasn’t that her display case was filled and ready, she might’ve walked back out there and told Josh she’d go with him today. Obviously, she needed a break.

  A few hours, a day, or even a night, wasn’t going to be enough. She knew this was more than just lack of sleep. It was more than the missing list too. Ellie had been so determined to find answers about Frank’s death that it was all she could think about, but she hadn’t taken any more action. One visit to his apartment wasn’t enough. She had another day before the lease ran out. If she didn’t go back today, she never would be able to.

  They might not be going to Newport tonight, but she wondered if Josh would mind accompanying her to Frank’s. It would be an odd request, but she honestly didn’t want to go alone again. Maybe another set of eyes will see something I missed. Of course, she didn’t remember telling Josh that Frank had been FBI or that he’d been murdered.

  Hopefully, none of that comes up.

  When she went into the kitchen, she found Josh had cleaned up after breakfast too. The man was amazing. Did he ever stop? Look who’s talking. He’d done so many nice things for her that tonight she wanted to repay his kindness. She’d offer to take him to dinner, but things were still tight financially. Last night’s dinner was very casual. Maybe she could do something a bit fancier.