Ex-Superheroes

by A. J. Markam

  “I could. But I’d rather kill you.”

  “See? Why you gotta be like that? All I wanted was information and a plane. You didn’t have to go full-on psycho.”

  “You haven’t seen a psychopath yet. You will when I let Spike work on you for a couple of hours.”

  “Awwww, you didn’t see what happened to your boy out in the alleyway, did you?” I taunted him.

  The silhouette stiffened. Apparently Anti really didn’t know.

  “Unless Spike can grow a new head out of his scrotum,” I called out, “I think you’re gonna have to find a new enforcer.”

  The silhouette began walking slowly towards the sound of my voice again. “There will be plenty more to replace him once I get my Ephemera.”

  “Out of curiosity, what was the plan? Take over Korea, then China, then – what? Bomb Pearl Harbor again?”

  Antimatter had entered a row of warehouse shelves – a small silhouette at the bottom of a mountain canyon.

  Come on, you bastard, just a few more steps –

  “Your humor is very American,” Antimatter called out.

  “Thank you.”

  “By that, I meant ‘very stupid.’”

  “Aw, now, see – back to being an asshole again. I thought we TALKED ABOUT THIS – ”

  My voice rose with the strain of using my forcefields to topple one of the shelves of pallets over on top of him.

  Antimatter was ready. He jerked back and fired directly above him, blasting the boxes into cinders and sending them toppling to either side of him.

  “You didn’t really think that was going to work, did you?” he chided me.

  “Nah, I was just stalling for time.”

  Suddenly Yuki’s voice yelled out over the warehouse’s loudspeaker system.

  “NOW, HUNTER-SAN!”

  Antimatter sounded almost amused. “Is this when you pull some devious trick on me?”

  “Something like that,” I answered.

  I made the shield around me as strong as I could and zipped 40 feet up into the air, right beneath the corrugated roof.

  At the same exact instant, I placed a forcefield like a harness two inches above Antimatter’s shoulders – not touching him, so he wouldn’t be alerted to it and touch his window-breaking palmful of antimatter to it.

  That’s when the floor beneath him exploded.

  And not like some C4 went off beneath him and cracked the concrete.

  No – like a fucking atomic bomb went off.

  Chunks of concrete hurtled up through the air on plumes of fire. A massive shockwave hammered my forcefield like a million-pound sledgehammer.

  The shockwave alone should have killed Anti – but his suit was designed to handle antimatter combustion, for fuck’s sake. That and 300 mph flight. The shockwave was going to fuck him up, but it wasn’t going to kill him all by itself.

  Well, not immediately, anyway.

  He was thrown up into the air, or would have been –

  But my forcefield harness kept him in place.

  Fire blasted up all around him.

  He reacted in shock, not knowing what the fuck was going on. He tried igniting the jet streams beneath his feet –

  But that just pressed him tighter into my forcefield.

  If he’d had any presence of mind, he might have put his hands to the shield around his shoulders and popped off a bit of antimatter to shatter it. But he didn’t know there was a shield around his shoulders. Plus, it’s pretty fucking hard to have presence of mind when you’re in the middle of an explosion.

  I heard him screaming as the fire engulfed him –

  And then I couldn’t hold out any longer. I punched my forcefield up through what remained of the corrugated roof – most of it had ripped apart like aluminum foil – and flew up into the night sky.

  I looked down from a hundred feet above. The entire warehouse had exploded, then collapsed into the sinkhole that used to be Yuki’s bunker.

  The whole area was one giant flaming pit plucked right out of the depths of hell.

  I lowered myself down to the smoldering ruins, where I used my forcefield to move me through the air a few feet above the rubble.

  I found Antimatter lying on a jagged bed of concrete shards, fire licking all around him.

  His costume was intact, but his helmet had been ripped off. His face was horribly burned, and blood poured out of his mouth.

  I moved around into his field of vision. He looked too weak to turn his head, much less attack me – though I still kept my guard up.

  “Well, you fell for it a second time,” I said grimly. “First in the plane, and now here.”

  Antimatter coughed out a mouthful of blood. “…the… Ephemera…?”

  “Nova torched it. Well, she started a fire in the underground bunker, anyway. Let it cook until it exploded. Seven cylinders.”

  Antimatter chuckled, then coughed up some more blood. “I never thought… anyone would be stupid enough… to sacrifice $70 million… just to kill me.”

  I shrugged. “I blew up a fuckin’ plane last time, so I sacrificed a whole lot more than $70 million.”

  Antimatter tensed. I could tell he was mustering all his strength – I mean, he basically telegraphed it from a mile away, he was so weak – and then he moved his hand to blast me.

  I dodged to the side, but it wouldn’t have mattered. The beam was nothing compared with his regular ones. It petered out after only a second, at which point he collapsed back onto the rubble.

  “Not as strong as you used to be, Hiroshi,” I said.

  “That’s… what happens… when you die,” he gargled through more blood.

  “Look, I don’t care about you. I’ll let you live. I’ll even get you the help you need to survive. Just tell me who recruited you.”

  Antimatter looked at me for a long second – then moved his arm slowly as though to blast me again.

  I flinched to the side –

  But he just held up his middle finger instead. And laughed.

  Bubbles of blood popped across his lips.

  I scowled. “Don’t be stupid.”

  He just kept laughing, then gently settled his head back on the concrete.

  “You know who did it, don’t you?” I asked.

  He weakly nodded his head ‘yes.’

  “Tell me and I’ll let you live.”

  “And what… turn me over… to the Americans? Have me face… a war crimes tribunal? …no…”

  “So you’re just going to die, is that it?”

  “In your culture… death is the worst thing… that can happen. But in mine… the worst thing… is dishonor.”

  “And what, telling me who arranged the assassination of the world’s superheroes would be a dishonor? You supervillains are fucked up.”

  “I prefer… to think of us… as ronin… samurai without masters…”

  “I thought the whole point was to be your own master. Rule the world and all that shit.”

  He coughed up more blood. “I would have settled… for Tokyo.”

  “You can live, you know. One call and I can get the US Air Force in here, patch you up – just a name. All I need is a name.”

  “Better… to end one’s own life… than to suffer dishonor… at the hands of the enemy.”

  “You talkin’ about seppuku? Hara-kiri? Hate to break it to you, bud, but you don’t have a sword.”

  “No… but I have this.”

  He raised his hand into the air – put it next to his ear –

  And blew his head off.

  I backed up in the air, shocked. Then I sighed. “Well, that’s one way of getting out of answering the question.”

  Suddenly all the flames died away. Literally flickered down to nothing.

  “What the fuck…?”

  Nova and Yuki were walking through the rubble towards me. Yuki was phasing her way through, like a ghost – and Nova was waving her hands around her like she was taming something unseen.

  “
You the one dialing down the temperature?” I asked Nova.

  “I am.”

  “Handy. I’ll have to remember you can do that.”

  Both women walked over and looked down at the smoldering ruin that used to be Antimatter’s skull.

  “What happened?” Nova whispered.

  “He decided to take the Fifth,” I said wryly.

  Yuki looked at me, puzzled. “What does that mean?”

  “It means one supervillain down… and a couple hundred more to go.”

  31

  After Nova alerted Harding about Antimatter’s death, the US military came in hard and fast. They had a fleet camped out nearby, most likely – after all, they didn’t want another supervillain weaseling his way into the power vacuum.

  We met Harding at Tokyo International Airport, which was packed so tight with American bombers and fighter jets that you’d have thought they were going to rechristen the place Eisenhower AFB.

  We were waiting on the runway as the general deplaned from a transport.

  Nova saluted, and he saluted back. “Excellent job, Lt. Smith.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “At ease.” As Nova relaxed, Harding held out his arm and shook my hand. “Well, McNeil, I didn’t think you could pull it off, but you proved me wrong.”

  “That’s the whole reason I did it,” I said sarcastically.

  Harding turned to look at Yuki. “Who’s this?”

  “Somebody who gets a presidential pardon when this is all over,” I said.

  “And ten million dollars!” Yuki added cheekily.

  Harding smiled. “Fair enough.”

  “I don’t know if Nova texted you yet, but you have a mole in the SPCC,” I said.

  Harding grimaced. “How do you know?”

  “He knew who I was, sir,” Nova said glumly. “Rank and name. He had to know what I could do.”

  Harding sighed and nodded. “This is just more confirmation. We figured no one could have assassinated every soldier in the SPCC without inside help. We’ll flush them out sooner or later.”

  “Better get on that shit, then,” I said.

  Harding glared at me. “You just worry about your mission.”

  “Speaking of which, where’s my plane?”

  Harding grumbled, then turned and pointed at a sparkjet further out on the runway. It looked even bigger and newer than the last one. “There it is. Try not to blow this one up.”

  “Just out of curiosity, if I had to blow up a jet for every supervillain I take out, how many jets can I blow up?”

  “Every damn plane we have,” Harding said, then smiled grimly. “But I’m an Army man, so the Air Force might have something different to say about that. How’d he do, Lt. Smith?”

  “He performed admirably, sir.”

  I wanted SO badly to say In bed AND out.

  For Nova’s sake, though, I kept my mouth shut. There was at least a 95% chance the NSA had intercepted Yuki’s transmission to Antimatter, along with our homemade porn clip. If they had, I’m sure Harding had seen it, even if he wasn’t saying anything about it at the moment.

  I’m also sure Nova knew that and was secretly mortified. No need for me to add to her embarrassment.

  But I’d rib her about it later.

  “Good, good,” Harding said. “Any problems I should know about?”

  Nova hesitated –

  So I jumped in. “None whatsoever. You know, other than having to fight a guy who can make huge explosions shoot out of his hands.”

  Nova gave me a small but grateful smile.

  “Hrm,” Harding grunted, then addressed me. “Where are you going next? Beijing? Seoul? Pyongyang?”

  “I’m not telling you – what about your fuckin’ mole?”

  “This is between you, me, and your team. Until you need military support, that is,” Harding said. “Besides, the supervillain world is already buzzing about the fall of Antimatter. They’ll be on their guard no matter what.”

  Harding had a point.

  I thought for a second.

  Beijing, Seoul, and Pyongyang were all obvious choices. All in the immediate neighborhood, so to speak.

  But not what I wanted.

  “Who’s running San Francisco these days?” I asked.

  “San Francisco?” Harding asked, confused. “There’s over a dozen closer occupied cities.”

  “Yeah, but I know somebody in San Francisco. Besides, I thought you wanted me to take on some American cities.”

  “True,” Harding admitted dourly. “Nexus runs San Francisco.”

  “Shit,” I muttered. “I fuckin’ hate that guy. Okay, maybe I will stop off in Pyongyang first.”

  “The supervillain running Pyongyang is – ”

  “It’s just a supply run,” I interrupted him. “Then I’m going to San Francisco.”

  Harding drew himself up to his full height. “I could order you to go to the city I choose.”

  “Not if you want me to build my team. And if you want me to clean up the world for you, I’m going to need the best team I can get.” I put my arms around Yuki and Nova. “Damn good start so far.”

  “Hai!” Yuki chirped, and jumped up and kissed me on the cheek.

  Nova was a lot more reserved, but I noticed she let my arm linger around her even in front of the general.

  “Fine,” Harding relented. “San Francisco it is. But if you stop by Pyongyang first, you’ll probably need to refuel in Honolulu.”

  I stared at him. “Nobody took over Hawaii?!”

  “No.”

  “Fuckin’ idiots… what shithead would want to rule Pyongyang when you could be in Hawaii?” I shook my head, then asked Harding, “You’ll have the refuel ready for us?”

  “Of course.”

  “How about some R&R? A nice hotel suite on the beach for a day or two – actually, make it a penthouse.”

  Harding glowered. “There’s no time for R&R.”

  “Remind me again – didn’t I just take out a supervillain for you? And aren’t I about to take out another one for you, too?”

  Harding glowered some more. “…I’ll set something up.”

  “Maybe a little extra spending money, too.”

  “Don’t push it,” Harding growled.

  I grinned. “That’s alright, I’ll just pull it out of the general fund. The ‘General’s fund,’ I guess you could call it.”

  “You’re pushing it, McNeil.”

  “That’s what I do best, General. Push it as hard as I can.”

  “Haaiiii,” Yuki murmured naughtily.

  Harding looked at her in surprise, then turned grumpily back to me. “Anything else?”

  “Nope. Just get ready to invade San Francisco. Let’s go, ladies.”

  Me and Yuki strolled off towards the sparkjet. Nova had to stick around long enough to salute Harding and be dismissed, but then she rapidly caught up.

  “Did you have to antagonize him?” she asked frantically. “All that about Hawaii and extra money – ”

  “Chill, Lieutenant. I just asked for some nuts and cherries on top of the sundae, that’s all.”

  “But you pissed him off!” Nova fretted.

  I grinned. “You have no idea what happened over the last few hours, do you.”

  “We took out Antimatter and the US military liberated Japan.”

  “Yes. Which means…?”

  “We fulfilled our mission.”

  “AND just became the three most important people on the planet,” I said.

  “Oooh, I like the sound of that,” Yuki cheered and clapped.

  “How do you figure?” Nova asked me.

  “Who else has taken out a supervillain in charge of a major city?”

  “No one.”

  “And besides us, who else have they got who’s planning on taking out the next bad guy?”

  “…no one,” Nova said, suddenly realizing where I was coming from.

  “Which means we are now the three most importa
nt people in the world – to Harding, to the US government, and to every other country that wants their fuckin’ cities back,” I said. “I nearly got myself killed doing everybody else’s dirty work, so I want my vacation in Hawaii, I want my beach-side penthouse, and if Harding doesn’t like it, he can pucker up and kiss my fuckin’ ass.”

  We walked up into the hold of the sparkjet and looked around.

  Nice. Bigger, better equipped, more weapons.

  Harding had apparently decided I was a good investment for the future.

  “Strap yourself in, babe,” I said to Yuki, and gave her a short kiss. Then I headed for the cockpit.

  Nova was just settling into the captain’s chair.

  “Unh-unh,” I said, and pointed to the chair on the right. “Over there, babe.”

  She looked up in surprise. “I’m the pilot!”

  “Not anymore.”

  “But – ”

  “You were the pilot when you didn’t know me, didn’t trust me, and didn’t know if I would have your back. Now you do.” I gestured over to the co-pilot’s chair. “Move it.”

  She hesitated. “Harding’s not going to like that.”

  “Fuck Harding. He’s getting San Francisco back, he doesn’t need to have everything his way.”

  Nova paused… then smiled, got up, and handed over the headset. “Your ride, cowboy.”

  “Damn straight, cowgirl,” I grinned, slapped her ass playfully, and sat down in the pilot’s seat.

  I started the opening sequence of checks and glanced out at the open runway.

  Damn it was good to be back.

  32

  Pyongyang was a breeze. In and out in eight hours. North Korea was easy to smuggle into when it was a dictatorship, and it was even easier now. They had their heads so far up their Dear Leader’s ass that they’d fallen far behind the rest of the world – and since they really only knew how to terrorize their citizenry, they’d let all their internal security systems lag. Not to mention corruption and payoffs were as common as shaking hands. Smugglers and criminals ran rampant. Whatever supervillain had taken over hadn’t been able to fix that in the last two weeks.

  Why did we go to Pyongyang in the first place, you ask? Information. Harding’s intel had been pretty good so far, but I needed a different kind of intel – namely, where all my old contacts were since the shift in the New World Order. I would have asked in Tokyo, but I didn’t trust anybody in Tokyo. I trusted my guy in Pyongyang.