by A. J. Downey
She arched an eyebrow and patted the space next to her and I shot her a nod.
Yeah, I’ll sit with you. Why not? I thought to myself. I was rewarded with the effervescent glow that I’d missed out on out front and I felt my heart practically levitate in my chest.
“Prospect, when you’re done, get me a bowl of the regular popcorn. None of that sweet shit.” Eden frowned and stuck her tongue out at me, throwing a piece of her kettle corn at me. I grinned.
“Be right back,” I said and went out and down the hall past the bathrooms to my club room, unlocking the door with the key off my key ring and slipping inside. I grabbed the Sherpa throw off the foot of my bed and one of my pillows taking it back with me.
I motioned for Eden to move over and fit myself against the arm of the couch as Reaver and Slice settled down in front of us. I stuffed the pillow against my side closest to Eden and put the throw over her. She smiled up at me and cuddled against my side and I wanted it to feel weird. I wanted it to feel wrong somehow, but it didn’t… it felt fucking perfect.
6
Eden…
I was warm and being cuddled into Sage’s side. It was so nice. I mean, I didn’t know why he was suddenly so accommodating. Like, was this some sort of weird pity snuggle or whatever? I didn’t care. I would take it. I would always take whatever opportunity there was to be close to Sage. Pathetic, I know…
We took a break when Nightmare was over so everyone could use the bathroom or whatever. I was a little put out when Dante needed to get up and I grinned sheepishly at Harmony when she gave me a secretive thumbs up. I kind of rolled my eyes and gave her a face that said just how much I was in heaven as much as I couldn’t believe this was even happening.
She ducked her head and wrinkled her nose, her grin so big it threatened to spill over into a fit of giggles.
That I did not want and when I turned my head and looked up, I caught Sage looking at me with a curious expression. I smiled shyly and shrank to, I swear, about three inches tall, which made him laugh slightly and shake his head as he put an arm around me and gave me a squeeze.
“Yo, prospect!” he called out and Noah’s head popped up over the back of one of the bottom row recliners as he sat forward. “Change the disc so I don’t have to,” Sage ordered, and I felt a tingling at the back of my scalp, a blush of pleasure that he didn’t want to get up. That he would rather stay like this with me.
I didn’t know what had gotten into Sage, but I liked it. I hoped whatever it was, was a permanent affliction.
“What’s next?” Noah asked.
“The pile’s in order, dipshit. Figure it out.”
“Got it,” Noah said indifferently. He was used to the hazing. Really used to it. We all were in that we’d seen it all growing up. More prospects washed out than made it, and a lot of the prospects ended up going off to other club chapters rather than sticking around here. Although that was mostly because Kentucky and job prospects – legitimate jobs that is, were hard to come by in our small corner of the world.
We watched Gremlins, and by the end of that, little Miracle was out. Reaver picked her up and took her to one of the club rooms. Probably Ghost’s. If he was working and Shelly wasn’t here, she was likely trying to catch up on bookkeeping. She loved her kids more than life itself, but even she needed some kind of break sometimes. That was usually why Harmony was always on the hook for babysitting. Or me. Which is why Harmony and I really didn’t get much time to hang out together anymore. I kind of couldn’t wait until the babysitting torch got passed to Eldritch. I mean, it was starting to… sometimes.
“You good?” Sage murmured, and I nodded against him.
“I should probably get up and go to the bathroom before this next one, but I don’t want to.”
He chuckled.
“Up you go, pretty girl,” he said and again with that tingling glow from the praise.
“I’ll come too,” Harmony declared, and we got up and went to use the bathroom.
We had to wait in line outside the two that were out near the common room. The boys, Ranger and Dalton were each in one taking their time. Dalton was officially old enough to stay up for the whole marathon, but Ranger was about to be cut off after Die Hard. Krampus would give him nightmares.
“So, what’s with you and Sage?” Harmony asked me in a whisper.
“No idea,” I whispered back. “Like, I literally have no clue – but I’ll take it.”
“I’m so happy for you!” she beamed, and I shook my head slightly.
“I don’t expect it to last, maybe he’s drunk or high or something. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“Oh, Eedee…” Her face lost its ecstatic expression, crushing down into a frown. She pulled me into a tight hug and said on the tail end of a sharp sigh, “I hate that for you. You should be able to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”
“I know,” I said, and it was a somber thought. I did deserve to be happy, and I honestly didn’t know why I was so hung up on Sage, but I was, and it honestly couldn’t be any different. No matter who I encountered, no one held my attention or fascination like Sage did. It wasn’t like I wanted it to be like this.
Love unrequited sucked and it sucked hard.
We broke apart and Harmony rolled her eyes and pounded on the bathroom door, shouting, “Dalton! Quit fucking around in there! Eedee and I have to pee!” She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Jesus.”
I knew the feeling. Little brothers could be so annoying… speaking of… I stared at my best friend and didn’t know how to ask about her and Dante. I mean, it was awkward. What my brother did was none of my business but I wanted to be happy for my best friend at the same time.
Ugh… Drama.
I didn’t have a chance to ask or to even say anything because Dalton finally opened the bathroom door.
“Ugh! Finally!” Harmony cried. “You better not have pissed on the seat or anything.”
“Gross! Screw you, Harmony!” Dalton pushed past me and his sister, shoulder checking her hard but me harder.
“Hey! What did I do?” I demanded.
“Sorry, Eedee,” he muttered in that sullen preteen way. He was pretty freshly thirteen, so he was at that age. Dante had been the same way. I, of course, had been doing preteen girl just as spectacularly.
“After you,” Harmony said, and I looked after Dalton. When I was sure he was out of earshot, I muttered, “He better not have peed on the seat.”
Harmony giggled, and I shut the bathroom door. The seat was blessedly, urine free.
7
Sage…
By the time Krampus was over, there weren’t many of us left in the media room. Ranger had passed out before it started and we just left him. Dalton had stuck it out, but Reaver had gone and fucked off to his wife and his club room a while ago.
Slice was passed the fuck out in the couch below mine, and Dante and Harmony had gone to bed. Harmony midway through Die Hard, and Dante about a quarter of the way into Krampus.
Eldritch was stretched in one of the black leather recliners and I looked down to Eden, who was curled like a kitten beside me, her head on my pillow in my lap.
I winced and eased my way out from underneath her to a whimper of protest.
“Easy, baby girl. I’ll be right back,” I murmured. I was set to clear the path out back and make sure the door to her daddy’s club room was unlocked.
I stretched, grunted in some satisfaction, and hit the head on the way out to open up the outbuilding so I could carry Eden to bed.
I went out, opened it up, and went down the long hall. I twisted the knob on Revelator’s door and froze when it opened. Dante and Harmony were looking in my direction, eyes wide, Dante’s bare ass on display for the whole fuckin’ world to see, Harmony hiding shyly beneath him.
“Aw, fuck!” I shut the door and shook my head.
Son of a bitch.
“Better get it while the gettin’s good!” I called through the door. “Your parents
are gonna be fuckin’ pissed,” I grumbled but I kept that shit to myself as I pulled my phone out of the inside pocket of my jacket and sent a text to the club chat letting Ghost and Rev know what was up.
Ghost, Rev, caught Dante and Harmony fuckin’, just a heads-up.
My phone started blowing up and Dante and Harmony were about to find out the fuckin’ hard way that club loyalty went to their fathers and not them by default.
Did I feel bad narcing on them? Only a little. I was more concerned about what to do about Eedee.
I called Rev.
“You fuckin’ kidding me, bro?”
“Serious as a fuckin’ heart attack,” I said. “Went out to open shit up. Eedee’s passed the fuck out on the couch and I was going to put her to bed. Open up your club door and caught ‘em red-handed.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m going to break his fucking head.”
“No need to do all that,” I said, shaking my head, breath pluming the air. “I’d honestly let it go ‘til morning. It’s dangerous as fuck, no point trying to drive over here all pissed off. They’re safe, damage is done. They’re gonna be roasting in hell all night wondering what you and Ghost are gonna do. I was honestly calling about Eedee,” I said, scratching my eyebrow with my thumbnail.
“What about my little girl?” Rev growled.
“She’s sleepin’. I was callin’ to check in with you about putting her to bed in my club room.”
“Oh, shit… yeah, that’s cool with me,” he said. “I trust you.”
You shouldn’t, I thought to myself, but out loud I said, “Good deal. See you all in the morning.”
“You fuckin’ know it,” Rev said unhappily.
“Go easy on ‘em, Rev. They’re just kids,” I reminded him.
“Old enough to fuckin’ know better. I hope he put a fuckin’ raincoat on it.”
“Dante’s not dumb. I’m sure he did.”
“Ghost is losing his shit in the chat.”
“I bet he is,” I said soberly. Ghost was, shall we say, the more sexually conservative of us, especially where his girls were concerned. That was for Shelly to potentially sort out, though.
Not my circus, not my fucking sideshow, I thought bitterly, then looked up and back to the back door of the club.
I took a few cleansing breaths of the frigid air. The snow was fuckin’ deep out here. Pristine. The night sky clear and shot through with stars. At least it was just cold and wasn’t snowing anymore. We’d been getting some serious record cold and snow the last few years. It was making me think it might be time to move to someplace warm.
Never happen, that voice in the back of my head whispered. It knew better than I did that Eden’s home was here and there would be no way I would take her from it. She was like her mother. Thrived on family.
“Motherfucker, you already lost this war,” I muttered to myself, walking back to the media room. I sighed as I hauled open the back door and stomped the snow and ice from my boots.
“What’s up?” Slice asked, stretching when I woke his ass up.
I filled him in, quietly, so as not to clue in anybody else – read kids – into what was going on.
Slice laughed softly, and I shook my head and grinned ruefully.
“I called it,” he murmured, and I nodded.
“Yeah, bet’s not over yet. Gotta wait for part two.” How their moms and dads were going to react.
“Gonna let Eedee sleep in here?” he asked. I shook my head and his eyebrows went up.
“Called Rev, let him know, gonna put her to bed in my room.”
Slice nodded and stared at me a little pensively. “I got you, bro.”
I frowned and shook my head. “It’s not like that.”
He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me and said, “Oh, no. I know.”
“Man, fuck you,” I grumbled, and he grinned.
“Got enough of that going around tonight,” he said and both of us sputtered and tried like fuck not to laugh and wake anybody up.
“Right, see you tomorrow,” I said.
“See you tomorrow, bro.” He waved me off, yawned and settled back down. “I’m gonna stay here, make use of my room,” he said. “At least before people get here.”
I didn’t say anything to that. He was trying to cover for me, to let me stay with Eden if I wanted too, which was the problem. I wanted to. I really wanted to, but I didn’t know how that would go. I mean, fuck, I meant it when I’d told Rev he doesn’t have shit to worry about.
“Come on, baby,” I whispered and rubbed Eden’s back through the blanket. “Come on, I got you.”
She groaned a little and sat up, stretching groggily. She grabbed her big purse off the end of the couch and a little unsteady on her feet, let me guide her out of the media room. We made a pit stop for her at the bathroom, and I used the one next door while she did her business. When she came out, her face was freshly scrubbed of makeup and I caught a faint whiff of mint.
“Where are we going?” she asked softly, so tired, and stifling a yawn that I had to smile. She was like this tiny sleepy kitten and so trusting, it made me feel just a little sick with guilt when I touched her shoulder and she moved along ahead of me.
“My room. I already called your dad. His is a little… occupied.”
She groaned and muttered, “Damnit, Dante!”
I chuckled and opened up the door to my room, which had been Lucky’s but he’d retired from the club. He and Moira had moved out someplace in South Carolina something like six or seven years back.
“He’s not your problem, sweetheart. Not tonight.”
“Thank God for that,” she murmured. “I’m too tired.”
She slipped in ahead of me and I found her a clean one of my tees and handed it to her.
“Here, get ready for bed. Open up the door for me when you’re ready and I’ll tuck you in.”
She looked up at me a little bewildered, and curiosity swept through her gaze. I shut my clubroom door on that look and sighed. I could hear a faint rustling after a few moments of silence as she moved around to change clothes. I took my hand off the knob and tucked them under my arms, across my chest, trying really hard not to let my imagination run away with me.
She was a beautiful girl. I mean, all the girls were but there was something about Eden with those bright red curls and those liquid brown eyes of hers. Deeply bronze, soulful and… shit. The girl was an old soul. There wasn’t any pretending on that. She looked into my eyes and I fell into hers – I always had. It felt like if I looked too deeply into her gaze that I would fall through time itself, through the ages, and find myself in ancient Rome or some shit.
Ever since she was able to talk, everyone had said it. Eden was an old soul, so mature for her age, and she was – I would give her that. She was like my sister, Maren, in a lot of ways that way. She just hadn’t had to go through so much tragedy to make her that way.
Her mom wasn’t crazy. Red was actually kind of fucking amazing – supportive, a quiet almost rock of ages when it came to their family. Meanwhile, Rev was more outgoing, more dynamic, and definitely the more hotheaded of the two. Mandy was perfect for him. They balanced each other out, and most importantly, unlike my parents, they were still together.
My mom died in a nuthouse, my dad had died of cancer. And Maren? Maren had held us together despite what an ungrateful little shit I’d been.
The door creaked, and I jumped as it opened a crack.
I stared at the crack in the door for what should have only been a heartbeat but with how hard and how fast my heart was pounding, I probably fit in three. I pushed open the door and slipped in. She stood by the bed – striking, beautiful – everything I could ever want. I wasn’t sure anymore if I should keep denying myself.
It was as though I saw her with new eyes in that moment and I didn’t know what to do.
“You okay?” she asked quietly, and I nodded dumbly.
“Yeah, I’m good. Come on, let’s get you tucked in.�
�
“I’m not a child,” she said with a smile that held some serious sadness to it.
“It’s hard,” I confessed.
“What is?” She cocked her head, the thick braid she’d tortured her curls into, slipping back over her narrow shoulder over the gray tee I’d given her. I went over and pulled the blankets back and ushered her into my bed with a wave of my other hand.
She sank down onto the edge of the bed and gripped the hem of the tee to keep it down and from riding up any further on her shapely pale legs.
I tried not to think too hard about that. She had enough of a chest, and her torso was long enough that the tee barely came down past her ass, barely covered the apex of her thighs. I knew she was wearing panties, I’d glimpsed the black material, but I was trying really hard not to think about that either.
She scooted in, and I lowered the blankets over her lap and urged her to lay down. She gripped my wrist to stop me and I paused.
“What’s hard?” she asked, swallowing hard. “Stay with me, Sage. Talk to me…” the intensity, the low pleading in her voice… I sank down onto the edge of the bed, my back to her, and considered her request.
Stay with me… easy. Talk to me… now that was hard as fuck. I wasn’t meant to burden anyone with my problems. Least of all her… but she is your problem, that little voice in the back of my mind, the one that betrayed every pure intention I had when it came to Eden, whispered out of the dark.
I took off first one boot, then the other and got up. I went to my door and shut it. I could swear I heard her voice woosh out with relief.
“I’ll stay,” I said. “Just until you’re asleep.”
She nodded and scooted down beneath the blankets, moving over just a little more to make ample room for me on the bed.
I went to her, tucking the blankets around her firmly and sitting myself on top of them. I eased down and pulled her against me. She just fit so well against my side, her head on my chest, and God, it was even more perfect than the cuddles in the dark of the home theater we had set up here.
