Dirty Money Honey

by Nisa Santiago

  Pumpkin smirked at his audacity and watched as Chief stuffed all of her money into his pocket and seemed to be proud of his antics.

  “You sick bastard!” Pumpkin yelled in anguish.

  Chief pulled out his pistol from his waistband and stuffed it into Pumpkin’s mouth. Every inch of her body trembled. Although she knew that selling tail could put her in a precarious situation, she thought she was smarter than the average prostitute, that she could spot a psycho a mile away.

  They stared eye to eye.

  “I’m gonna pull it,” Chief stated, his face twisted up in anger. He looked demonic, almost monstrous.

  Pumpkin squinted her eyes and braced for it. Seconds felt like years, numerous thoughts flooding her mind.

  “Don’t cry now,” he replied, and ejected his gat.

  Pumpkin flopped back down on the sofa and began bawling her eyes out. Chief lit up a spliff to take the edge off and thought about fucking her one more time before kicking her out for good.

  “What the fuck!” He lunged toward Pumpkin and snatched the telephone receiver out of her hands, but it was already too late.

  Seconds later the telephone rang. Chief took out his pistol and steadied it on Pumpkin. His look alone silenced her.

  “Yes, hello.”

  “Sir, this is the nine-one-one operator. We just got a call, and someone hung up. Is everyone all right?”

  “Yes, ma’am. My son was playing with the telephone, but his mother has him now.”

  “You’re sure everyone is OK in there?”

  “Yes, ma’am. We’re all OK. We’re just about to sit down and have supper.”

  “OK, thank you, sir.”

  “You’re welcome,” Chief sang and hung up. “You’re wrong for that one, bitch!”As Chief inched closer to the terrified Pumpkin, he heard the jangling of keys at the door.

  Seconds later Honey entered with her father.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Honey asked, shock plastered on her face.

  Pumpkin was confused. Could Honey be one of the ‘baddest chicks’ Chief was referring to earlier? Was this chocolate beauty his girlfriend? Pumpkin didn’t know if she also had to defend herself against this female, and if so, she was spent. She couldn’t take another beatdown.

  “This ain’t how it seems, Honey. You and Dad just go in your room and let me handle this.”

  “Like the fuck we will,” Luther said. He could never stand Chief and not because he wasn’t his biological son. Chief was a loser to Luther and could never quite master the game, no matter how many times Luther had tried to school him. “How many times we done told you about putting your hands on a woman?”

  Once Pumpkin realized Honey and Luther were kin to Chief and were against his actions, she ran and embraced Honey. “P-p-p-please help me. He’s crazy!” she yelled, stark naked and shivering.

  “Shhhhh. It’s gonna be OK.” Honey rubbed her shoulders. “Go and put your clothes back on.”

  Pumpkin ran and began gathering her clothes when a loud banging on the door interrupted everyone. From the hard pounding on the door and the worried expression on Chief’s face, everyone knew it was five-O.

  “Who?”

  “Police!”

  Honey motioned for Chief to take the girl into the back room and hide, to which he was only too happy to oblige. He held her mouth tight and dragged her into the bedroom closet. Just as they were about to pound again Honey swung open the door.

  “Ma’am, we got a distress call ten minutes ago. That’s when—”

  “Someone called the dispatcher and hung up.”

  “Correct,” the officer said, his head cocked to the side. “Has this happened to you in the past?”

  “No, sir. I’m just familiar with protocol, from my training.”

  “Oh, you’re on the force?”

  “ATF, New York division,” she lied.

  “Well, I’m glad to make your acquaintance. Might I ask, what are you doing so far away from home? Are you on a case?”

  Honey knew he was trying to trip her up. “If I were I wouldn’t be able to disclose that to you. But you already knew that, correct?”

  He laughed. “I guess that’s true. So why are you here?”

  “I’m visiting. This is my father, Luther. He just picked me up from the airport, and I plan to spend my two-week vacation cleaning out your casinos of all its cash.” Honey laughed at the irony, because that was exactly what she planned on doing.

  “Well, it’s certainly good to dream big.” The officer laughed. “Were you here when the call was placed?”

  “Yes. It was the neighbor’s kid who just went to the park with his mother. They should be back shortly, if you want to wait and speak with them, maybe thirty minutes or so. Would you like to come in? I’m just about to make dinner.”

  The handsome cop considered his options. The female was so gorgeous, he almost wanted to take her up on her offer, but he was on the clock, and a home-cooked meal and pretty face just wasn’t worth it. Besides, the call was bullshit. He’d done his job.

  “No, but thank you for the offer. Nothing further is needed.”

  Honey closed the door and began to pace back and forth in her living room.

  Luther didn’t know the full extent of her worry, but he knew that cops coming to the door and a beat-up and possibly raped young white female couldn’t lead to anything but heat coming down on everyone.

  Honey thought quickly. She walked to the closet where Chief and the girl were still struggling. “Let go of her!” she commanded.

  Once again the girl ran to Honey for protection.

  “What has he done to you?”

  Pumpkin didn’t hesitate to drop dime. “He beat me and robbed me for all my money. Almost three hundred dollars of my hard-earned money!”

  Honey glared at Chief. “So you tried to call the police, to help you, right?”

  “Yes, but he stopped me.” Pumpkin’s tears began flowing once again as she relieved the horror.

  “He’s disgusting!” Honey said.

  “Yo, you better watch your mouth, Honey!” Chief spat.

  “I don’t gotta do a muthafuckin’ thing up in my house!” Honey cut her eyes at Chief and then refocused on the girl. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. Why don’t you go and take a shower, and I’ll bring you fresh clothes and make sure I get you your money back with interest.”

  A relieved Pumpkin said, “What about my things? My gun and cell phone?”

  “I’ll bring all that into the bathroom, but I will have to take the bullets out of your gun. I can’t have you putting a bullet in my brother . . . although he deserves it.”

  Pumpkin was satisfied with her demands and retreated to the bathroom.

  Once she was gone Honey stated, “You’re gonna have to clean up your mess.”

  “I ain’t got no money.”

  “You’re as dumb as the day is long,” Luther began. “You think Honey is talkin’ ’bout you payin’ off a whore?”

  Chief resented that Luther and Honey thought he wasn’t smart. “Then stop talkin’ in riddles ’n’ shit. I’m a direct type of dude. I keep it one hundred.”

  “Look, moron, you beat and robbed a prostitute, and God only knows what else. If we pay her off, in a few days she’ll want to know why. And then she’ll come around and want to get more money. What if she has a pimp? You brought this to my front door. I can’t get knocked, and neither can you, not when we’re in the middle of something this big. You want me to say it?” Honey hushed her voice. “She has to go.”

  Chief smiled at the realization. “You ain’t said nothing but a word.”

  ***

  Chief took pleasure in strangling the unsuspecting Pumpkin in the bathroom of his sister’s apartment. Hon
ey felt awful, but she didn’t have a choice. Pumpkin knew the hazards of her occupation. The four-foot-eleven mother of four was stuffed into a black kitchen plastic bag, which was sat by the door to be dumped like trash. From there, Honey, Luther, and Chief scrubbed down the whole apartment wiping away any fingerprints and vacuuming any microscopic evidence that the naked eye couldn’t see, such as strands of hair follicles or broken fingernails.

  “Everyone needs to strip buttnaked and toss their clothes into a trash bag.”

  “I’m not tossing in my Tims,” Chief complained. “You could forget that.”

  “Didn’t you just rob this poor woman for three bills?”

  Chief didn’t even answer.

  “Thought so.”

  Chief reluctantly decided to take off his Tims and toss them in the trash bag. After everyone had redressed, Honey then emptied all the contents of her vacuum cleaner into another bag and then tossed the remaining trash bags in it as well and then tied it shut, all the while handling each trash bag with gloves.

  “Why did you throw away the rest of them good bags?” Luther asked and then answered his own question. “If five-O found these bags, they could trace them back to the remaining bags in your crib, correct?”

  “No doubt. Each trash bag has an indexing system etched into them for each batch. If they happened to find the bag she’s buried in and somehow connect her to this knucklehead and my apartment, it would only take a lab technician a few weeks to connect my trash bags to the scene of the crime. I’ve come too far to fuck up this early in the game.”

  “You ain’t never lie when you said you learned so much from your ATF training. That training just saved your brother’s ass!”

  “Stop ridin’ her shit. You act like she Einstein or some shit. Honey ain’t never do nothing so great in her life. She out here starvin’ just like I am. She ain’t better than none of us. She ain’t got a real job, and just commanded me to do a murder on a chick I wouldn’t have ever thought to take out. So stop treating her like she some angel. And let’s not go there on her marrying the same nigga that tried to dead me. But look what that same snake-ass muthafucka did to her ass!”

  Honey laughed. Her brother was such a hater. He’d just overlooked the fact that she got him to do the dirty work and commit the murder on a woman he’d just said he would have let walk out the front door. So although he’d said she wasn’t Einstein, she sure knew how to manipulate others and mastermind a crime. That had to count for something.

  “Chief, we got too much to do than argue over the past. André is my past, and I’ve accepted and taken responsibility for all that’s happened.” I pulled off my gloves and redirected my attention toward my father. “Luther, you and Chief need to go and dump her in the desert, while I find a dumpster for our clothes. We can’t dump them both in the same place. And, Chief?”

  “Yes.”

  “Make sure you dig the grave deep enough that the coyotes and wolves can’t pull her up.”

  Chapter 4

  The stale, pungent odor was enough to jolt me awake after a restless night’s sleep. I woke up to the horrible sight of my father’s wrinkled penis just inches away from my face. He must have stumbled home drunk and passed out in my bed. He reeked of dried vomit and other bodily fluids that made me hold my nose in pure disgust. I took both hands and tried to shove him off my bed, but he was immovable, like deadweight. Eventually, I slapped his face several times trying to wake him up out of his drunken stupor, but I knew that was in vain.

  “Get out of here!” I screamed, kicking my feet out like a small child having a tantrum. I was losing it. I was fed up over my living situation and the way my life had taken a sharp turn right into a brick wall.

  Stumbling out of bed, I thought things couldn’t get anymore horrifying, until I stepped into a glob of wet, slimy vomit. Apparently he’d tried to take a shower but had only made it halfway down the hall before his insides spewed up and he found the nearest bed to collapse in.

  I spent the next hour mopping floors and washing my father and brother’s clothing before I headed out to work. I had the three to eleven shift—the worst shift at the casino—but I was a newbie and work is work, no matter what time you clock in.

  Nine hours later my father was still in a comatose-like sleep, and Chief wasn’t anywhere to be found.

  Ever since Big Meech and Delano had arrived, Chief had been staying with them at the Super 8 Motel off S. Koval Lane. I worried because there was no policing their behavior from way over here at my apartment, but there wasn’t any way I was allowing all three of them to temporarily live here. They’d do something asinine and send us all to jail.

  Kicking off my lime green Manolo’s and Bellagio uniform, I poured myself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and began counting down the days to freedom from all the bullshit.

  I heard rustling come from my room. I called out, “Daddy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Could I have my bed back?” I said, my tone borderline hostile.

  A couple minutes later, my father came out of my room wearing an ill-fitted pink bathrobe with his large feet protruding out of my bedroom slippers. That sight alone broke any tension or aggravation I had previously felt. Leave it to Luther to be this ridiculous.

  We both erupted in a full-on belly laugh.

  “I’m sorry about last night, Little Bit.”

  “It’s all good, Daddy. I’m just under a lot of pressure lately, that’s all. I don’t mean to be bitchy.”

  “Sure, you did, but I still forgive you.”

  “Cool.”

  “Where’s your brother?”

  “Who knows? I just hope he keeps his ass out of trouble . . . at least for the next week.”

  “Hold that thought while I go get dressed.”

  “What thought?”

  “Honey, when you gonna realize you can’t run that jive game on your old man? You mentioned that Chief needed to stay clean for another week. You knew that wouldn’t get past me, so let me get dressed, and let’s go get a drink and you’re gonna give me the four-one-one.”

  “But, Daddy, I don’t wanna go back out,” I whined.

  “Too bad. I need a drink to get over my hangover.”

  My father took me to a seedy hole-in-the-wall bar. The type of joint that served liquor in white plastic cups, where almost everyone sitting at the bar was over fifty, contrasting with the stream of young women that just walked in.

  A clan of ghetto chicks looking to find a sugar daddy was amusing to me. Times could never get that hard for me, I thought.“I shudder to think how you found this place.”

  “You know I make any town mines.” Luther then signaled the bartender. “Pete, I’ll take two Rémy’s straight up and a club soda on the side.”

  The bartender nodded. “Sure thing, Luther.”

  “I’m sure you can see that this establishment don’t make them fruity girly drinks.”

  “That’s cool.”

  As we sipped on our drinks, not until I was sure we had complete privacy, did I begin to tell my father about my layered plans.

  “We’re going to knock off the Bellagio and Harrah’s Casinos next Wednesday.”

  “Wow! That’s a tall drink of water, Honey.”

  I nodded.

  “I always did teach you to be ambitious.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” I joked.

  “Since I’m coming in on the backend, I don’t want to insult you by asking, have you done all the necessary intel on these two operations?”

  “Everything is on point. I’ve worked on this for close to a year.”

  “To successfully pull this off, without it being just a really good failed attempt, it would take just that long.”

  I took in his words. “Well, truthfully, the hardest part was finding my cre
w. I needed to profile everyone to make sure they had what it took and wouldn’t buckle under pressure. One weak link and the whole chain collapses.”

  “The Bellagio and Harrah’s,” Luther repeated. “I can honestly say I’m nervous for you, Little Bit. No one has successfully robbed those casinos, Honey. The security alone is tighter than a virgin’s pussy. Shit, the Secret Service might as well be guarding those casinos. It’s risky—”

  “But not impossible.”

  “Well, nothing is impossible if you have strong will.”

  “Which I have. But being strong-willed isn’t enough. I need to align all the perfect storms in order at the perfect time, and if I have all those things, then I’ll walk away with millions.”

  “And you’re working on that?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I figured you for a lot of things—a hustler’s wife, an honor student, the daughter of an ex-con, an ATF agent, a mother, sister, grandmother―but I never figured you could do this level of a crime. I guess what I’m saying is, you could be anything you put your mind toward. Why this?”

  “I got a few scores to settle, a few creditors to pay back, so I thought, why the hell not?”

  “Nah, I’m being serious. You’re taking a big chance here.”

  I didn’t want to get serious. Not the serious he was looking for. I was in too deep, and I wanted him to be my co-pilot. Right now he was being Negative Nelly, and I wasn’t feeling it. My reasons are my reasons. Him trying to psychoanalyze me in a seedy bar on a back alley was irritating.

  “You sound surprised. I got Luther Brown blood flowing through my veins. I got your smarts and your penchant for illegal gains. It is what it is. I grew up around crime all my life. Something had to rub off on me.”

  “But, Honey—”

  “Luther, you always told me, without risk there’s no reward. I’m telling you I was built to do this. You have to have faith in me. I need you right now.”

  “OK, run it down to me and don’t leave out any details. Pete, another round!”

  ***

  “Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?”

  My eyes focused on a dark-skinned girl perched on the barstool. She had bleach-blonde hair, hazel contacts, and her ghetto diamonds on. Apparently she was the ringleader of her crew of three she was sitting with.