Pretend You're Mine

by Francisco, Fabiola

  “Do you realize that Patrick is doing this because he thinks I’ll give him a chance? He’s manipulating you and has no intention of being with you. Do you want to be Patrick’s secret affair? His side chick for whom he has zero respect? I thought you would’ve learned your lesson in high school, but it’s clear you have less respect for yourself than he does.” With that, I leave the bathroom. My heart rate spikes, and I clench my fists. I can’t believe Jessica would stoop that low. I need to stop running into her like this.

  “What’s wrong?” Harris’s eyes open wide when he sees me. I sit on the chair and shake my head, nostrils flared. “Poppy?”

  His eyes move toward the bathroom, and he jolts in surprise. “What happened?” He tilts his head.

  “Jessica happened. She doesn’t know when to quit. She was in the bathroom when I walked in, and she told me you met with Patrick yesterday about the stupid bet he and his buddies have going on.”

  “What?” He practically growls.

  “It’s ridiculous.”

  Harris doesn’t say anything, and when I look up at him, he’s tearing at his hair with his hand.

  “Harris?” My shoulders tighten. “No.” I shake my head when he doesn’t look at me, his features hard. “Tell me she was lying.” My words catch in my throat.

  “Poppy, let me explain.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I stand, the chair screeching against the tiled floor.

  “It’s not—”

  I put my hand out and shake my head. “Were you still pretending to be with me? All of this is a joke to you, so you can win what? Is the bet even cash, or is the prize a plaque with Everton’s Biggest Ego carved on it?”

  “Poppy, that’s not.” He looks down at his clenched hands on the table.

  I shake my head, holding in my tears until I’m out of the restaurant and away from our growing audience. “Find your own way home. Better yet, ask Patrick for a ride back to your club meeting to discuss all the ways to win over Poppy Powell. Give them pointers, so the next guy can use me the same way you did.”

  I rip my purse hanging from the chair and storm out of The Meat Market. I don’t look back. I don’t want to see Harris’s stupid face or his blue eyes ever again. And I definitely don’t want to see everyone who just witnessed me getting my heart broken.

  I wipe away the tears from my face as my trembling hands attempt to unlock my car. When the locks finally give, I open the door and slide in. Harris is standing outside of the restaurant, staring at me. He looks distraught. I guess, unlike me, acting could be a part of his resume.

  I don’t care that I leave him stranded at the restaurant. He left me stranded in a wild ocean of feelings without a lifesaver to prevent me from drowning. He’s not a lifesaver like I thought. No, he’s the Titanic, and I was too blinded by his beauty to see the devastating ending looming on the horizon.

  Harris

  I watch Poppy speed away and walk back into the restaurant to pay for our lunch. Everyone is staring, but I don’t give a damn. I just lost the woman I care about.

  I ignore the whispers coming from the table next to ours, some woman saying, “He is just like the rest of them. Poor Poppy, it seems she can never find a nice man. I don’t blame her if she chooses to be a spinster.”

  Gripping the back of my neck, I walk out of The Meat Market and type Knox’s address in my phone’s GPS, so I have directions to get to his house. I need to talk to someone.

  The cold air slaps my face but doesn’t erase the look of sheer disappointment on Poppy’s face from my mind. I need to get to her, I need to explain.

  I sigh and follow the directions, navigating through the quiet street on this side of town. It’s unfamiliar to me, but I don’t care about sightseeing now. The only tour guide I want ran away from me, and I can’t blame her. I’d do the same thing in her shoes.

  I lift my head and feel a few sprinkles hit my face. I close my eyes and breathe in, trying to swap Poppy’s hurt expression for one of her beautiful smiles.

  I shake away the image and pick up my pace when the rain comes down harder, but I feel numb. When I recognize the area, I turn off the navigation on my phone and call Poppy. She doesn’t pick up, and I call her again and again. Then, I send her text messages, hoping she’ll read those.

  Desperate, I walk up the driveway in Knox’s house and ring his doorbell. Knox answers the door, his eyebrows pinched together.

  “I fucked up,” I say as I walk into his house and close the door.

  Poppy

  I stand in the rain, the drops mixing with my tears and washing them away. I’m not sure, but if its purpose is to soothe me, it’s not helping. Instead, the rain has added more pain to my already broken heart. It’s like a sad movie, where the rain falls on cue to emphasize the character’s emotions.

  I shake my head and take a deep breath, staring at the apartment building. When my phone rings again, I’m tempted to throw it into a puddle and never buy a new one. Harris has been calling throughout my entire drive here, and I’ve been ignoring him.

  I run up the stairs of the complex and bang on the door.

  “What the…” Averly opens the door. “Poppy, what’s wrong?” She pulls me into her apartment, her voice rushing out in panic.

  My lips quiver, and fresh tears trail down my cheeks.

  “Hey…” Averly wraps her arms around me, rubbing a hand down my back. “Tell me what happened.” Her voice is a soft whisper.

  “We…” My chest trembles, and my breath catches in my throat. “We broke up.” I start to sob, my entire body wracking with emotions.

  “What? Why?” Averly pulls back, her hands on my shoulders, and her eyes stare into mine. Her brows pinch together as she shakes her head. “That makes no sense.”

  Instead of responding, I cry harder, shaking my head in disbelief. Harris was the one man I thought would never join the stupid game the jerks in this town started years ago. All this time I thought he was a nice guy, doing me a favor when there was nothing in it for him. How naive I was…

  There was always something in it for him. What did he get? A big lump of cash? Bragging rights that he bagged the coveted mayor’s daughter? A good laugh over drinks with the Douche Club?

  “Come on,” Averly holds my hand and leads me to the couch. I sit mindlessly, staring off at nothing in particular as I replay every detail from my relationship with Harris. I sit numbly, silent tears drenching my face.

  “Poppy?” Averly calls my name, waiting for me to react.

  I turn to look at her, silent still and shake my head.

  “He’s in on the bet.” I can barely get the words out.

  “What?” Averly’s eyebrows shoot up. “That can’t be right.”

  “I thought the same thing when Jessica told me in the bathroom, but when I mentioned it to Harris, he freaked out and didn’t deny it. Instead, he asked me to let him explain. Explain! As if there could be anything that would excuse it. Half the town witnessed our breakup, I’m surprised my mom hasn’t called.” I slouch into the back of the couch and drop my head against it, turning to look at Averly again.

  “I doubt half the town was present at the restaurant.” Averly is always so literal.

  I roll my eyes. “Fine, one-fourth of the town.”

  Averly stands abruptly. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m getting wine.”

  “Do you have ice cream?”

  “Of course.”

  “And cookie dough?”

  “I can buy some.”

  I shake my head. “Wine and ice cream are perfect, thank you.” She gives my hand a comforting squeeze and heads into the kitchen. She’s back just as fast as she left, holding a carton of ice cream between her arm and ribs and two glasses of wine in her hands. The spoons clatter against the glasses, but I’m focused on my phone.

  “Did he call?” Averly places everything on the coffee table and takes a seat.

  “Like a hundred times and sent about as many text messages
.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He wants to explain.” I clutch my phone. “There’s no point, he betrayed me with the one thing he knew I hated most. No explanation is good enough for me to forgive him.” I shut off my phone and drop it in my purse.

  “You’re soaked.” It’s as if Averly just noticed I was standing in the rain.

  I shrug. “I don’t care.”

  She walks out of the living room and returns a few minutes later, handing me a pair of pajamas. “Go change, and I’ll put your clothes in the dryer.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I mumble. Nothing matters more than the pain in my chest. Changing out of my cold, wet clothes will make no difference in the healing of my heart.

  “Do it,” Averly says firmly. “Or I’ll call your mother to come over.”

  My eyes pop open, and I jump from the couch. Averly doesn’t mess around with threats like that. Once I’m changed, I sit back on the couch and take a healthy chug of wine. Then, I open the lid on the ice cream carton and stuff the cold sweetness in my mouth.

  Averly and I sit in silence for some time, drinking wine and take turns getting spoonfuls of ice cream.

  “I think I’m going to call in sick tomorrow,” I announce.

  “That’s a good idea. You can stay here if you want. I don’t think you should drive anymore tonight.” I look at Averly, all the fight in me gone, and simply nod.

  “Thanks.”

  “That’s what friends are for.” She wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me to her side. “You can help me run errands for the bed and breakfast in the morning. It will be fun to look at the ideas my interior designer came up with.” I look over at Averly’s wide smile. Bless her for trying her hardest to lift my mood.

  “I don’t know,” I shake my head and stare into my empty wine glass. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow, and this will all have been a dream. Harris and I would be madly in love, no drama or immature bets threatening our happiness. I shake away that dream and frown. No, this is real life. No heartache hurts this much in a made-up nightmare.

  I stay with Averly, a comforting silence allowing me to drown in my own thoughts, and eat the rest of the ice cream and drink all of her wine. It doesn’t take long for the wine to take effect, and I’m babbling nonsense between tears until I fall asleep on her couch.

  …

  Averly practically drags me around the hardware store until we’re facing a big wall full of color swatches. After meeting with the interior designer, she was so excited that she wanted to come to look at paint colors despite the fact that the bed and breakfast is in the early stages of renovations.

  She talks a mile a minute about her ideas, but I stare blankly at the wall. I have a headache from the wine I drank last night. Not from my breakup with Harris, no sirree, he doesn’t deserve me.

  I sigh.

  That’s the lie I’ve been telling myself since Averly pulled me from the couch and pushed me into the shower to get our day started. I should’ve gone to work. At least my students would have distracted me with their funny jokes and caring smiles.

  “I was thinking I could do the entire downstairs an ivory color, fresh and bright, but not as stark as white.” Averly is waving swatches in my face.

  “Why did I agree to come out with you?”

  “Because you love me and want to help me achieve my dreams.”

  I ignore her. “Oh, that’s right, because you stole my keys.”

  “Tomato, tomahto.” She shrugs. “So, ivory?” I nod. “I was thinking of painting the door this blush pink.” Another paint swatch shoved in my face. I nod again.

  “You’re ignoring me.” Averly crosses her arms and lifts a brow.

  “People are staring at me and whispering.” I look around at the few people lingering about the hardware store.

  “They always do that,” she shrugs.

  “They’re probably all sooooo happy Harris and I broke up. More drama to add to the Poppy Powell gossip mill.”

  “Poppy,” Averly warns.

  I ignore her and turn around. “Do you want to talk about me?” I open my arms and yell at them, sick and tired of them sticking their noses where they don’t belong. “Huh?”

  They look away as if they are ashamed they’ve been caught. “Come on, don’t act like saints now. All you’ve done is talk about me. Don’t be hypocrites, at least tell me what you think to my face.”

  The women in a corner have the audacity to widen their eyes as if I’ve insulted them. I scoff and shake my head. “You’re all a sad bunch, gossiping about other people to make yourselves feel better. You bask in other people’s pain instead of helping each other like a real community should do.”

  “Ohhhh-kay, let’s go.” Averly grip my arm and guides me out of the store.

  “Let me go.” I pull my arm out of her grip and turn left.

  “Poppy.”

  “Great.” I roll my eyes and turn around, bolting away from Harris.

  “Wait, listen to me, please.” I almost want to give in to his plea, but I remember all the pain he’s caused me and keep running.

  I cross the street, almost getting hit by a car, and race to my apartment, leaving the blasting sound of the car’s horn behind me. Realizing I don’t have my keys, I sit on the steps outside of the building and drop my head in my hands.

  I cry into my palms, the hurt I feel intensifying after seeing Harris’s worried face. Thankfully, he didn’t follow me. I allow myself the time to break down and cry in plain daylight. It’s not like people are unaware of what’s happening in my personal life, nothing’s ever a secret in this town.

  When I hear a car stop in front of my building, I don’t look up. I know it’s Averly.

  “Hey.” She walks up to me and takes a seat next to me, hugging me to her side. No other words are necessary. Averly allows me this time to release every painful emotion I’m holding, and she sits by my side like a true best friend.

  After I catch my breath, Averly hands me my keys, and we stand, heading up to my apartment.

  “I can’t believe you told off all those people at the hardware store.” She shakes her head, biting down her smile. If I were feeling better, I’d laugh along with her.

  “I snapped.”

  “You totally snapped. I wish I had recorded their expressions. Maybe now, they’ll stop being Gossip Gwens,” Averly uses my phrase.

  “Nah, some people will never realize that they’re in the wrong.” I shake my head and drop on the couch. “How do I get over this?” I press the heel of my hand into my chest.

  “I’m not sure,” Averly frowns. “With time?” She lifts a shoulder in apology for not having any wiser advice.

  “I guess. It’s going to be hard to avoid him since we both live here, and Everton isn’t exactly a big city.”

  “Don’t worry about that now.” She squeezes my hand.

  I lie down on the couch, and Averly combs my hair until my eyes grow heavy. One day at a time. It’s not like I’ll live the rest of my life crying over him. I’m young, surely I’ll meet someone again in the future, like ten years from now if I follow the same timeline I have up to now. Or I’ll live alone forever and start my cat adoptions now, so by the time I’m fifty, I have a family of cats to keep me company.

  Poppy

  I have been doing everything possible to keep myself sane and busy for the last two weeks. I’ve taken on everything I can to stop me from thinking about… him, including volunteering to organize the Halloween parade at school next week. This gives me plenty of long hours to focus on arts and crafts, fake spider webs that love to tangle around my fingers, and costume ideas.

  I grab the stack of bats cutouts my students decorated and tape them to a wall in the hallway as if they were flying up to the ceiling. Each class is in charge of making some type of craft to put around the school and gym, where the parade will take place.

  With our school being small, it’s easy enough to decorate all around.

  �
��Hey, do you need help?” Faith approaches me as I stand on the chair, arranging the bats. She is the administrative assistant at our school, and usually, I love working with one of my best friends. However, lately, she’s been on my case.

  “No, I’ve got it.” She turns to walk away. “Actually, can you pass me the tape?” I point to it on the floor.

  “Of course.” Faith cuts a piece and hands it to me. “Listen, I know—”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I shake my head and focus on bending the piece of tape to make it double-sided tape.

  “But…”

  I shake my head to stop her from talking. “I mean it, Faith.”

  “We’re all worried about you.”

  All. I bet Averly, Abbie, and Faith have been talking about me.

  “There’s nothing to worry about. I’m a big girl.”

  “We’re your friends. You haven’t even been to the last two book club meetings.”

  “I know, but right now, I don’t want to talk about it,” I repeat more firmly this time and press my lips together.

  “At least let me help you,” she sighs and grabs a bat from the stack to hand it to me. I give her that, her help is welcomed even if it distracts me from my own thoughts.

  “Have you read this month’s book?” Faith offers a small smile.

  I shake my head. “I haven’t been into romance,” I shrug.

  “I can understand that.” She had her share of heartache, even if it was years ago.

  “Yeah, I just don’t want all the lovey-dovey reminder, you know? I’ve actually been reading a thriller.”

  I step off the chair and face Faith. Her nose is scrunched up. “Thriller?” Her eyes widen.

  “I know,” I shrug. “But it’s helping me not think about him.” I pinch my lips together and look at how the bats turned out.

  “This looks great,” Faith compliments.

  “Do you want to help me finish the gym?” I begin to relax, releasing some of the tension from my shoulders when I realize she isn’t going to corner me about Harris.