by David Parker
It then occurred to me that I was behaving like the stereotype of an ostrich. As the cliché goes, an ostrich buries his head in the sand upon the slightest inkling of fear. This age-old notion about ostrich behavior, though, has actually been long since disproved. What people believed was an automatic reaction to fear was actually a different activity altogether. As part of their eating routine, ostriches dig small holes in the ground and forage for pebbles, which they swallow to aid in the digestion of their food. Of course, if ostriches really buried their heads in the sand after sensing danger, their entire species would have died out long ago due to an inappropriate response to predators.
Nevertheless, the legend of this supposed cause-and-effect response has endured in our culture, in part because it accurately portrays how we all occasionally refrain from taking action, often without any regard for the consequences. This tale of the ostrich is aptly similar to how procrastinators respond to situations in real life, because a procrastinator’s learned response to anxiety over a task is to figuratively bury his head. However, instead of fearing predators, our concern as procrastinators lies with our tasks and our fearful predictions that we will not be able to deal with those tasks effectively.
Of course, we don’t literally bury our heads, at least, in the sand. Instead, what we “do” is anything other than the task at hand. In other words, we avoid. Our alternative to proper action can be almost anything, so long as it has the ability to absorb our time and attention, relieving us from our concerns and responsibilities. Whichever way you might choose to avoid, it is through the practice of procrastination that one becomes a human ostrich.
We have seen how a procrastinator becomes ruled by inaction. However, it’s important to note that at any particular time the average habitual procrastinator has already put off many different tasks that cover a wide spectrum of his needs. Each of these tasks has its own particular life span and because the habitual procrastinator only tends to deal with his tasks when he’s forced to by external demands, like deadlines, he acts on a crisis-by-crisis basis, which is an emotionally exhausting way of going about things. Given the fight he’s had against taking action, after dealing with a task, he needs a break, which only continues his procrastination. In essence, although he has just put out one fire, the rest of his house continues to smolder; so his break only lasts until the smoke from another fire alerts him of his need to take action once more.
So, as you can see, habitual procrastination is quite complicated in nature. In order to gain more understanding of the human ostrich, let’s now take an in-depth look at the characteristics, behaviors, and traits of our newly discovered species.
Chapter Four
The Characteristics, Behaviors, and Traits of the Human Ostrich
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW yourself? If you identify with the term “habitual procrastinator,” or if the procrastination of someone else concerns you, it may prove helpful to take a detailed look at this malady. To change from a habitual procrastinator into a “do”-er not only takes work, but a good deal of patience as well. The material in this chapter will illustrate just how intricately procrastination can seep into a sufferer’s life. Let’s take an in-depth look into the hows and whys of habitual procrastination, along with its characteristics, behaviors, and traits.
William Shakespeare wrote: “To thine own self be true.” What do you think Shakespeare meant by this, and how might it apply to procrastinators? Are procrastinators true to their own selves? My answer to this last question would be a swift and resounding “No.” Here’s why:
While performing research for this book, I met people on the Internet who identified themselves as procrastinators, and I noticed that they raised one particular concern more than any other. It had less to do with what they procrastinated about, and more to do with the anguish, contempt, and even disgust that they had for themselves, culminating in self-hate. Here are two typical comments that I heard:
Students complained: “I’m always behind on my schoolwork and my room is a mess. Why don’t I put more importance on my own stuff?”
While adults remarked: “If I paid attention to my home the way I handle things at work, I wouldn’t come home to this mess. What’s wrong with me?”
If you want to change from being a procrastinator, a good starting point would be to make an assessment of the most common aspects of your life in which it could appear.
The 25 Characteristics and Behaviors of the Human Ostrich
First, it would be beneficial to identify the traits of habitual procrastinators. While no procrastinator will possess all of the traits listed in the following table, you may find that you recognize or identify, with many of them within yourself, or in someone you know. For an in-depth understanding of procrastination, read this section in its entirety. However, if you wish only to read about the traits that you identify with, mark the checkboxes located to the immediate left of each trait listed in this table, and then read the corresponding passages.
1. Many procrastinators believe that worrying over a task is a helpful activity.
2. Charlie says, “I wait until I ‘feel like doing it.’ It’s as if I’m waiting until it feels like ‘the right time’ before I’ll do something. The only thing is, that ‘right time’ never comes—so nothing gets done.”
3. Many procrastinators become overwhelmed by anxiety while trying to choose between several “high priority” tasks.
4. Habitual procrastinators tend to float through life.
5. Habitual procrastinators are resourceful at finding excuses for not doing, and not having done.
6. Many procrastinators report a profound dislike for tasks that are complicated, or take more than a few minutes to accomplish.
7. Some procrastinators find difficulty when they try to alternate between tasks.
8. Many procrastinators find themselves easily distracted from their tasks.
9. Many procrastinators are perfectionists.
10. Quite a few report that they daydream excessively.
11. While doing one task, I wonder, “Should I be doing something else?”
12. Procrastinators worry, “if I ‘do,’ doesn’t that mean that I should always be able to ‘do?’”
13. Judith says, “When I complete a large task, I feel like I’ve earned the right not to ‘do’ anything for a short while, except—it goes on for too long.”
14. Procrastinators feel envy at the “superior abilities” they believe others have.
15. Many procrastinators engage in poor self-communication.
16. Procrastinators suffer from grossly distorted perceptions of time and outcomes, for example: “It’ll take ‘a thousand years’ to get done.”
17. A habitual procrastinator’s first reaction to a task is usually negative thinking, followed by the belief that any action taken will be fruitless.
18. Many procrastinators suffer from “all-or-nothing thinking.”
19. Habitual procrastinators set vague and unreasonable goals.
20. Habitual procrastinators have difficulty planning out their tasks in a logical manner and then following that path until the task’s completion.
21. Many procrastinators feel frustrated when they return to an abandoned task.
22. Many feel impatient and frustrated for much of the time.
23. Procrastinators often report that they don’t feel satisfied upon a task’s completion.
24. Left unresolved, procrastination usually gets worse with time.
25. As procrastination grows stronger—the procrastinator feels weaker!
How many traits of the human ostrich did you identify with? Were you surprised to see some aspects of procrastination that other sufferers have experienced that you haven’t? Let’s review this list in greater detail:
1. Many Procrastinators Believe That Worrying Over a Task Is a Helpful Activity
I used to believe that by worrying, I was being productive. Instead of planning, I worried. Instead of thinking what I sh
ould do next, I worried. And instead of acting, I worried even more. But worrying does not yield results, because it’s counter-productive to planning and acting.
In the short term, worrying had its rewards, because when I couldn’t do anything else, I could always worry. However, there were times when my worrying spun out of control, so much so, that I became paralyzed with fear at even the thought of dealing with a task. Of course, worrying was actually a substitute for action. So in a certain way, it actually made me feel good to worry, because in spite of filling my mind with anxiety, it felt like I was accomplishing something.
There are a few problems with this way of thinking. The first is that worrying is not a productive activity. While it may provide you with something to do, that something is not “do”-ing. Secondly, constant worrying can lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. At my own worst, I would actually worry over how much time I was losing to almost ceaseless worrying.
Many procrastinators spend hours at a time lying in bed, wallowing in despair. One procrastinator described these worrying sessions as “listening to my body,” as if he were listening for a signal or a cue to say, “take action”; however, that signal never came. I too used to lie awake in bed, while my mind played and replayed scenarios that involved seemingly insurmountable tasks, as though my mind were continuously spinning the dial of a combination lock back and forth in a futile attempt to open the shackle through sheer persistence.
Concurrent with my worrying was an inability to calm down. It was as though my mind could instantly go from relative calm into high-speed anxiety drive, yet it was almost impossible for it to reverse back into calm. In fact, the only way I could stop worrying was to lie down and try to sleep—a sleep that came more from nervous exhaustion than from anything else. As one sufferer put it, “One-half of my brain produces B.S., while the other half buys it.”
2. Charlie Says, “I Wait Until I ‘Feel Like Doing It.’ It’s As If I’m Waiting Until It Feels Like ‘The Right Time’ Before I’ll Do Something. The Only Thing Is, That ‘Right Time’ Never Comes—So Nothing Gets Done.”
This characteristic can help define whether someone is a casual or a habitual procrastinator. Remember Stan, the casual procrastinator, and Charlie, the habitual procrastinator, from Chapter Two?
Every now and then, Stan intentionally puts off acting on a task while he pursues less urgent things, like taking a nap on a weekend afternoon, or catching a ball game on television. However, if the ball game has been rained out on a Sunday afternoon, that’s the time when inspiration strikes him. It’s the moment when he asks himself if there’s anything he’s been putting off. It hardly matters what was put off, because as Stan would say, “Now’s the time.” And, even if he doesn’t have something in particular to do, Stan will search around his home and find something that needs attention.
Our friend Charlie began putting things off years ago, in the false belief that he was waiting for when things “felt right,” because it seemed to follow that if he felt sufficiently inspired, then his results “just had to be better.” The only problem with this line of thinking is that Charlie never “feels like” doing much of anything—so the longer that he waits for the “right time” to come along, the longer nothing gets done.
3. Many Procrastinators Become Overwhelmed by Anxiety While Trying to Choose Between Several “High Priority” Tasks
At any given time the average habitual procrastinator typically has several tasks that he has put off which usually comprise a mix of high-priority tasks and intermediate-level or less urgent tasks. One such procrastinator is Jerry, who has a large assortment of tasks requiring attention.
When asked to identify the one task that was clearly his highest priority, Jerry mentioned that his car’s inspection sticker would expire in a few days’ time. Then, without missing a beat, he added that the reason why he hadn’t dealt with it was because other high-priority tasks had prevented him. You see, Jerry’s apartment was a complete mess, and then his old high school buddy Matt, who lives in Canada, had unexpectedly called with news that he and his girlfriend Cathy were about to take a long-distance drive. Matt wondered if they could stay overnight at Jerry’s place, which was tomorrow. Suddenly, housecleaning had jumped from somewhere near the bottom of Jerry’s mental “to-do list” to “high-priority.” Jerry seethed in self-anger for allowing himself to wind up in this situation “for the zillionth time,” and complained that he “kept getting himself into the same old situations, but with different people each time.”
Since he’d never take action unless he were forced to, only external circumstances prompted Jerry into acting; however, by continually working on a crisis-by-crisis basis, Jerry builds up a great deal of self-directed anger, which plays havoc with his ability to view his tasks with clarity. Where a non-procrastinator would deem Jerry’s lifestyle as far too stressful, as far as Jerry is concerned, “it’s just another day.” As a result of his ever-changing priorities, Jerry is floating through life; putting out one fire after another, without ever getting control of the conflagration. This brings us to our next characteristic of the human ostrich.
4. Habitual Procrastinators Tend to Float Through Life
By acting only when his hand is forced by circumstances, and not through his own decisions, Jerry refuses to take responsibility for his own life. He often says that he “doesn’t like being tied down to anything,” and it shows.
Having never quite found himself in the workplace, Jerry has held a seemingly endless variety of jobs, and he’s switched careers several times as well. He’s also picked up and moved a few times, almost hoping that by changing location, his life too might change.
By not attaching himself to any particular vocation or location, Jerry has enjoyed a certain sense of freedom—but he’s now seeing a cost to this lifestyle. He has begun to feel envious of friends whose lives appear more stable and established than his own.
5. Habitual Procrastinators Are Resourceful at Finding Excuses for Not Doing, and Not Having Done
The only thing that could possibly be greater than the number of tasks a habitual procrastinator has put off might be the number of excuses they can come up with. In a sense, it comes down to what they’re most skilled at: “doing,” or “not doing.” Which one describes you best?
If you said “not doing,” try not to be hard on yourself. Few persons would take the time to read this book unless they had a genuine problem with procrastination. It’s better to be honest with yourself about the extent of your habitual procrastination than to continue making excuses for your inaction, as well as excuses for your excuses.
Excuses were an important mechanism to the way in which I procrastinated. In essence, they provided me with a back-up system to bolster what little self-esteem I had. While some excuses worked really well—others simply worked. Without a bona fide excuse, what else could you possibly say to a superior at work who was expecting a report that had not been submitted on time? How about: “It seemed boring to me at the time; do you still want it?” That just doesn’t have the air of authority that “I was too busy to get around to it” has.
6. Many Procrastinators Report A Profound Dislike for Tasks That Are Complicated, or Take More Than a Few Minutes to Accomplish
Marching in step along with not “do”-ing is the procrastinator’s desire for all tasks to be simple in nature, and to flow effortlessly toward completion. The procrastinator does not stand alone in this respect. He shares similar attitudes with compulsive gamblers who want to “take the easy way out,” and those who seek the equivalent in get-rich-quick schemes, which purport to offer the benefits of hard work, but without the responsibilities and all the hassles.
Gambling also describes how procrastinators lead their lives, because they are playing the odds that they will succeed in getting over on their responsibilities. While we might hope that by diverting our attention away from pressing matters, we’ll regain some sense of control over our lives, although we may
not be gambling in a casino, our long-term results are similar. While the gambler loses money, we lose pride within ourselves.
It’s natural for habitual procrastinators to feel overwhelmed, and to want to avoid or flee, when faced with a complicated task. Avoidance goes hand in hand with frustration—the more frustrated we feel, the more we may delay dealing with our tasks. This is one reason why many procrastinators begin to shut down at just the thought of dealing with a complicated task.
If it’s been a long while since you’ve dealt with a complicated task, it’s important to understand that it’s only natural to feel apprehensive towards changing your approach towards “do”-ing; but keep in mind that we’re not at the point where we’re ready to deal with any of that. In Section Two of this book, you will learn how to begin taking small steps at changing long-held habits. For now, we only want to continue observing the behaviors of the human ostrich.
