by David Parker
7. Some Procrastinators Find Difficulty When They Try to Alternate Between Tasks
Almost all habitual procrastinators occasionally surprise themselves by acting on a task. However, because they’ve usually been forced to act by a deadline or by an unsympathetic superior, their actions tend to be less planned out, and often more of a direct approach. Moments before taking action, a habitual procrastinator’s attitude is quite similar to an Army battalion taking a hill in a “now or never,” “do—or die!” effort.
Once they’ve begun, many procrastinators are so determined to plow through and finish their task, they may rebuff the attempts of others to change from what they’re engaged in. “Don’t try to stop me, I’m on a roll!” Karen excitedly says to a co-worker with her head buried in a pile of papers. While Karen thinks, “When my back’s up against a wall, that’s when I get it done,” her co-workers tell quite a different tale: “Karen’s always late with her reports. Heaven help anyone who asks her to switch tasks when her paperwork is late.”
Karen’s dilemma is she can’t switch from one task to another. She’s so used to putting things off that she only sees herself capable of either half-hearted attempts, or whole-hearted all-out attacks on her tasks—“No matter what!” Karen even calls this her “winning combo”: “Put something off for as long as you possibly can, until you can’t put it off any longer. Then, take action!”
It wasn’t all that long ago that, like Karen, I would have found switching between tasks nearly impossible. Today I can break a project into parts and work on one, or stop and switch to another part of the same task, or temporarily leave it altogether to work on something else entirely. Without getting caught up in the hows and whys, just for now, understand that change within yourself is possible.
8. Many Procrastinators Find Themselves Easily Distracted from Their Tasks
Keeping one’s nose to the grindstone and focusing on a task tends to be a challenge for many procrastinators. It seems as if our very nature were to shy away from our tasks. Just as two magnets with like poles repel each other, procrastinators tend to automatically shrink from their tasks. Why are we like this? Well, why shouldn’t we be? After all, we procrastinators have been perfecting “the art of avoidance” for years, and if you practice just about anything long enough, you’re bound to become good at it.
When I attended college, I found that my math skills were rusty, so I went to the “math lab” for a brush up. I can recall watching the lab’s volunteer tutor, an elderly gentleman who had the patience of a saint. He would go through a math example with a student slowly and carefully, and I would watch from a short distance, waiting to see if he showed frustration at a student’s difficulty with a math problem, but quite the opposite was true. Instead of rushing things, this gentleman would work step-by-step with a student, and at that student’s pace.
While watching this gentleman that day, I felt a bit of discomfort. It seemed as though he had something I hadn’t, and that something was patience. It may well be that the impact and the resulting memory of that day so long ago indicates just how in need of patience I was at the time. If only I had learned that lesson back then.
If you find difficulty staying on track and keeping focused, you can train yourself to stick with a task by developing patience from within. If there’s one thing that I know now, it’s that “the enemy of procrastination is patience.” Keep that filed somewhere in the back of your mind; I have a strong feeling that we’ll be coming back to it later.
9. Many Procrastinators Are Perfectionists
Perfectionism, as it relates to procrastination, is the need to have everything proper before taking action. While there’s nothing wrong with planning and preparing for action, if you can’t get past those initial stages, then you’ll almost certainly get stuck in the mud and muck of procrastination. For example, a perfectionist might say, “Why ruin the opportunity to do an outstanding job, when the outcome could be ruined in the haste of rushing?” This leads us back to the need of developing patience from within in order to have the mental strength to focus on and then deal with our tasks.
Perfectionism often comes disguised as “making a smart move” through the withholding of action in order to prepare for any and all circumstances; however, it can also prevent us from taking action, such as when a prior requirement must be fulfilled in order to act on a task. For example, Fred won’t have a guest over to his place unless it’s absolutely spotless, but spotless is a relatively rare condition for his living space to be in, so much so that it prevents him from looking for a girlfriend. However, as long as Fred’s place doesn’t look spotless, he won’t have guests over. You might think that with this condition Fred would spend practically all of his free time cleaning up his place—yet he never finds the time to clean and he’s never in the mood to clean either, so his procrastination continues unabated.
10. Quite a Few Report That They Daydream Excessively
Remember that lecture I gave at the Stress Relief Club of Stuyvesant High School? While I was there, I asked the students to share some of the ways that they’ve procrastinated. “I daydream a lot.” replied one student. That student deserves an “A” for honesty.
The truth is that we all daydream from time to time; however, some of us do it a lot more than others. So, where does one draw the line between a pleasant diversion, and something that gets in the way? While it’s natural to tear yourself away from everyday life, even if it’s only in your head, some people procrastinate by engaging in daydreaming to such an extent that it can add up to a significant amount of time spent during an average day.
When a person decides to change something in his or her life, whether it’s going back to school, joining a gym, or reducing the amount of time he or she spends procrastinating, that person seeks to transform him or herself. As you start your journey toward changing away from the habit of procrastination, it’s important to keep an open mind in order to discover which characteristics you incorporate into your present procrastination.
11. While Doing One Task, I Wonder, “Should I Be Doing Something Else?”
“Damned if I do, damned if I don’t, and damned if I do something else.” This seems to be the habitual procrastinator’s mantra. As previously mentioned, many of us experience difficulty staying on track until a task’s completion. One of the ways we engage in distracting ourselves from a task is by second-guessing ourselves with statements like, “There are more important things that I need to be working on right now.”
When we do this, we cause doubt to grow in our minds, and we are then apt to put a halt to our work by picking up another task. Suppose for a moment that we changed tasks because our second task was indeed more important than the original task we were working on. All we’d need to do then would be to act on the second task until its completion, and then return to our original task.
However, that’s not how habitual procrastinators act. Instead, after putting aside our original task and then commencing work on our second task, we would then doubt ourselves again with something along the lines of, “How can I work on this when I’ve got other things that need my attention?” Then, we would repeat that same behavior. It’s through this behavioral cycle whereby nothing is accomplished. The solution to this is learning how to prioritize by becoming comfortable with your decisions, and then focusing your attention on just one task until its completion. This will be discussed in detail in Section Two.
12. Procrastinators Worry, “If I ‘Do,’ Doesn’t That Mean That I Should Always Be Able to ‘Do?’”
Another way habitual procrastinators distract themselves is by worrying that were they to find the courage to tackle a difficult task, that would then prove they had the ability to do it all along, which would then instantly obligate them to “do” everything that they had been putting off. It’s through this way of thinking that a habitual procrastinator will put himself on trial and then act as his own judge, jury, and prosecutor.
If you ident
ify with this aspect of procrastination, remember that all anyone can do is one thing at a time. Even if other people pride themselves on being multi-taskers, while they may have the ability to juggle several tasks for a short while, they can only work on one of them at any one time. Try not to concern yourself with the worry that one day you’ll suddenly be cured of procrastination, and then be obligated to work non-stop to clear up many years’ worth of unpleasant tasks. Nothing could be further from the truth.
A person changes from being a habitual procrastinator slowly, and over a good length of time. That’s one reason why this book is not called “Beat Procrastination in 30 Days!” Instant change doesn’t usually happen, and you are probably not going to turn into the world’s newest superhero who fights delay, disorder, and untidiness throughout the planet. We make substantial and effective changes in our lives by going through a process, and you will learn that process as you read this book and then implement changes into your life. If you find yourself fraught with worry over your future as a recovering procrastinator, you may find it helpful to come back to this paragraph and re-read it a few times.
13. Judith Says, “When I Complete a Large Task, I Feel Like I’ve Earned the Right Not to ‘Do’ Anything for a Short While, Except—It Goes On for Too Long.”
Many procrastinators are capable of tremendous activity when special circumstances are involved. “I’ll just die if Mom and Dad see my place like this. I only have two days to whip this place into shape,” says Judith. True to her word, two days later her apartment is not only shipshape, but it can also withstand her mother’s infamous white-glove test. Judith’s parents leave a few days later, and ever so slowly, the neatness she created begins to unravel. “That which I can create, I too can destroy,” Judith half-jokingly says to herself. Oddly enough, while she doesn’t really want the neatness of her place to come apart, “it just does.”
Judith doesn’t see herself as a procrastinator, but as someone who “gets back at her responsibilities.” Instead of seeing housecleaning as something that can be done periodically, the only way she knows how to go about it is by launching all-out assaults. Judith expends a great deal of energy over a very short timeframe, so much so that she not only exhausts herself, but she also builds up resentments against housecleaning, or whatever other task she deals with in this sort of manner. She puts an end to any future housecleaning unless, once again, special circumstances dictate that it must be done.
What Judith fails to see is that it’s far easier to do a little cleaning every now and then, than it is to accomplish several years’ worth of cleaning in the space of only a few days. Although it’s admirable that she’s able to work straight through until her apartment is clean enough, her life would probably be easier if she knew how to “do” in smaller chunks. In addition, while she worries about her mother’s “white glove test,” she doesn’t have the courage to tell her mother that her apartment needs only to be clean enough for Judith alone. If you find that you deal with tasks in the same fashion as Judith, you may wish to endeavor on learning how to become satisfied in doing small amounts of work over a longer period of time.
14. Procrastinators Feel Envy at the “Superior Abilities” They Believe Others Have
Procrastination causes us to feel two types of effects: while there is the short-term joy that comes from getting over on one’s tasks, there’s also the glum outlook upon life that develops as a result of losing trust in one’s ability to care for oneself. Just like seeing our distorted reflection in a funhouse mirror, we may begin seeing others as more capable than ourselves; and worse, we might then begin to look down upon ourselves. Consequently, we become poster children for low self-esteem.
Earlier on, we compared Stan and Charlie, a casual and a habitual procrastinator, respectively. What especially frustrates Charlie is the fact that while he has about as much time to deal with his tasks as anyone else, he winds up getting little, if anything, accomplished. Not only does Charlie envy the abilities of someone like Stan to get things done, what really confounds him is Stan’s ability to simply start acting.
As I worked at overcoming my difficulties with habitual procrastination, I began to feel better about myself. In time, I even developed a bit of self-confidence, which made me feel a lot less concerned about how others supposedly were “do”-ing.
15. Many Procrastinators Engage in Poor Self-Communication
Just as our thoughts dictate our actions, they can also deter us from undertaking action. Many habitual procrastinators have an almost constant, negative internal dialogue buzzing through their brains, which is the result of second-guessing themselves, or otherwise putting themselves down. Some procrastinators have reported that their negative chatter runs off and on from awakening until bedtime.
Most habitual procrastinators only hear their negative self-dialogue, which convincingly warns them of the dangers lurking in the shadows, with statements like:
“It’s too complicated!”
“This is boring!”
“I’d really rather be doing something else.”
“I’m not up to dealing with this.”
Interestingly, while procrastinators tend to only listen to their negative self-statements, which concern the supposed consequences of taking action, they fail to consider the consequences of not acting—which leads to poor decision-making and even poorer outcomes.
Why is it that procrastinators think this way? Part of the rationale of this thinking is that procrastinators do not generate positive outcomes with any great frequency, because all they’re used to considering are the potential risks that might, or might not, come about as a result of taking action. So, with his mindset permanently switched to the “don’t act” position, the habitual procrastinator deals with life by continually suffering through his decisions and responsibilities.
16. Procrastinators Suffer from Grossly Distorted Perceptions of Time and Outcomes, for Example: “It’ll Take ‘A Thousand Years’ to Get Done.”
There’s an old adage concerning optimism and pessimism that asks: “Would you view a drinking glass as half-full, or half-empty?” However, a habitual procrastinator’s response is more likely to be: “I never get a full glass of water.” What does that tell you about how a habitual procrastinator thinks?
What this response shows us is that many procrastinators also suffer from an exaggerated form of anticipatory distress, or, what we might call, “fear of the future.” It’s a concern, as well as a prediction, that they’ll incur horrible results just for getting involved in a task or a project. As a result of this thinking, they prefer to sit things out. Here are just some of the ways in which habitual procrastinators can magnify their concerns:
The procrastinator is greatly concerned over negative results that haven’t yet come about, as the result of actions that have yet to be taken.
He imagines calamities and worries more about the images that he sees in his head, rather than concerning himself with the all too real consequences that could arise from not taking action.
The procrastinator worries that he will suffer shame and embarrassment from the opinions, comments, criticism, or invalidation of others. “Why try? I’m only going to get shot down for it, anyway!”
The procrastinator fears that accomplishments will lead to new choices, new decisions, new expectations, and more obligations.
Being generally pessimistic, procrastinators often worry that after taking action, that they will be disappointed with their results. Although a non-procrastinator would readily see the falsehood of this line of thinking, it makes perfect sense to the procrastinator, because if you haven’t accomplished anything for a long while, you don’t have any hard evidence with which to prove that acting often results in favorable outcomes. In short, the procrastinator believes that any action on his part will probably not yield a positive outcome. This particular characteristic of habitual procrastination will be dealt with in greater detail in the next section of this chapter.
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nbsp; If you are at the point where it seems as though “everything takes forever,” remember that although this may seem true, this is only a feeling, and feelings are not facts. For now, try not to overwhelm yourself with worry over how capable or incapable you may or may not be; after all, we can all stand some improvement in our own lives. All we want to do right now is continue observing the characteristics and behaviors of the human ostrich, in order to gain a better perspective of how procrastination has the ability to affect us.
17. A Habitual Procrastinator’s First Reaction to a Task Is Usually Negative Thinking, Followed by the Belief That Any Action Taken Will Be Fruitless
Doom and gloom fill the minds of many habitual procrastinators. Plans are vague, goals are unattainable, and results seem uncontrollable. When it comes to our tasks, we not only start off on a sour note, but we also amplify the negative.
For example, when faced with the task of mopping the living room floor after accidentally spilling food, my internal negative chatter would run all the way from a terribly derogatory self-statement, to the convoluted logic of “Why did I even bother?” Here’s how that internal conversation went:
“I’m such an idiot for spilling that.”
“I hate mopping.”
“How long is this going to take?”
“Am I mopping correctly?”
“What if the stain is still there afterwards?”
“It’s no use—it’s not going to make a difference.” “It’s almost all gone, but I don’t think I can get it one hundred percent clean.”
And finally: “Other people may think the floor is clean, but I’ll know what happened.”
Habitual procrastination led me into habitual worrying, and that led me towards having a negative outlook upon life. Oddly enough, my negative outlook served as a protective measure of sorts, saving my feelings from disappointment and discouragement, because no matter what the outcome might be, I had never expected a positive outcome in the first place.
