The Case of the Stained Stilettos

by Smith, Melissa J. L

  Ethan decides that playing along is the best way to keep the situation under control. He lifts her hand, kisses it, and says, “Ms. Montgomery, good to see you. Ches speaks of you so often.”

  Dana responds wryly, “I’ll bet she does. And do call me Dana. Let’s all be friends, shall we? Very good friends?”

  Dana sizes up Ethan, Joseph and Frank like a gorgeous display at Gucci.

  “It’s a lovely party, Ms. Montgomery. The Homes for the Homeless charity certainly will benefit from your hard work,” says Ethan.

  Dana continues the subterfuge. “I’m glad you came, Ethan. It’s obvious where Joseph gets his good looks.”

  Ethan sees Francesca getting annoyed at Dana’s latest game and tries to slow things down. “Yes, Joseph does get his good looks from his mother’s side, but he gets his hook shot from me.”

  Joseph, trying to stop his dad’s first date in a long time from blowing up over Dana’s game, intervenes to take the heat off his dad.

  “Ms. Montgomery, may I say you look particularly beautiful this evening?” says Joseph.

  Dana is diligent in her faux pursuit of the men at the table, hoping Blaine will show up and see something to make him jealous. She purrs at Joseph with a growl that would make Catwoman proud. “You may say it as often as you like. And you forgot to call me ‘Dana,’ dahhlling.”

  Joseph winks at Mercy to get them out of this obviously staged but over-the-top uncomfortable situation.

  “I usually check those things with my beautiful wife. I believe you two know each other,” Joseph says. “Mercy, dear, how many times do I tell Dana that she’s particularly beautiful? I’m never sure of the accurate count, and you’re always so good at this kind of thing.”

  Dana whispers to Mercy. “Go along with the plan, will you, Mercy? In case someone is sending this over social media, I want Blaine to be sorry he didn’t show up on time.”

  Mercy nods her compliance and turns to help Joseph with the awkward situation. “I would tell Dana that she is beautiful several times, dear. She is a very beautiful woman. You can’t go wrong with three or four repetitions.”

  “Thank you, dear. You are such a good barometer of those sorts of things,” laughs Joseph.

  Dana explodes into laughter. “Ah, a loyal husband. How silly of me.” She claps her imaginary clapboard again and cries out, “And … cut!”

  Dana turns on her heel, scene over, and speaks pointedly to Susana.

  “And that, Junior, is how you go about stealing someone’s husband. If you’re going to do it, at least have the talent to do it correctly and the nerve to do it out in the open. Not behind people’s backs.”

  “Or better yet,” Dana defiantly tells Susana, “leave other people’s husbands alone and concentrate on the one that you’re about to marry.”

  Helen and Carmella exchange looks as if to say, “What have we stumbled into?” and Mark shoots an embarrassed look at Helen to apologize for Dana’s behavior. Susana, meanwhile, might as well have cartoon steam coming out of both ears, for all the stress she is obviously suffering.

  Chapter 39

  Dana squeezes Mark by the arm as she spies Sal at the bar and waves to him. “Mark, darling, be a dear and get Mommy one of those delicious concoctions that Sal is brewing.”

  Mark looks around and notices that the caterers already are starting to clear away the salad plates. “I have a better idea, Mom. Why don’t we try the salads before they move onto the next course? Neither you nor Susana have eaten anything all day.”

  “Not true,” says Dana. “I don’t know about Susana, but I had a huge lunch. I’m fine. I’ll eat when Blaine gets here.”

  Mark leans down and whispers near Dana’s ear. “Mom, I hate having to point this out, but you’ve been drinking a fair bit, and lunch was six hours ago. You need to dilute the effect of all those martinis…”

  Dana shoots him a look of mild annoyance and says, “Oh my goodness, Mark, dear … don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you.”

  Beth is serving the main course at Dana’s table while Sal tends bar. She leaves the uneaten salads on Dana’s table since no one has sat down there yet.

  “Look, Mom. Beth left salad and dinner plates for us on the table. May we please go eat? I’m starving,” says Mark.

  Dana turns toward the driveway and scans the valet area. She searches the faces in the crowd and answers Mark, half-heartedly.

  “I’ll eat, dear, I will. I’d prefer to wait for Blaine. He’s not back. I would have thought he would be here by now.”

  Mark mutters angrily, “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m not lucky enough for Blaine to lose his way home forever.”

  Dana, still distracted, turns to Mark and says, “What, dear? I didn’t hear you.”

  Susana frowns at Dana and squints toward the driveway, looking for Blaine’s car. Annoyed by Dana’s non-stop drinking, Susana turns to Mark and asks for pain pills.

  Loudly, Susana tells Dana, “Mark was saying that he was going in the house to find something for my headache. Weren’t you, Mark? Getting me some pain pills?”

  Mark takes Dana and Susana each by an arm and tries to steer them to their seats. “Why don’t you eat something, Susana? Your headache is from starvation.”

  “We can’t all be like you and Dana and eat anything we want,” Susan complains. “One dinner roll and my dress will burst.”

  “I’ll buy you a new dress. Now we are going to eat, even if I have to hold you down and force-feed you,” Mark says, vehemently, as he starts to physically maneuvers them toward their seats.

  Wesley drops by the Luce table with a coffee pot but is so stunned by Carmella’s mere presence that he never pours any. Helen and Lucienne giggle silently as Wesley waves the pot but forgets to pour.

  Mark finally manages to get Dana and Susana to the dais and sits between them, hoping to reduce the chance of fisticuffs.

  Wesley brings coffee for Mark, Dana and Susana. Susana puts artificial sweetener in her coffee and stirs it repeatedly. Dana loads her own coffee cup with sugar, and Mark adds only cream.

  Dana sets the coffee cup down without drinking any of the coffee and waves to Sal to make her a martini. Beth brings it to the table.

  Only Mark eats. Beth, who has been eyeing Susana and Dana, wanders over and asks, “What’s the matter, ladies? Don’t like the salad or the entrée?”

  “I don’t know about Beryl Streep over there,” Dana hisses, pointing at Susana, “I just don’t like the server.” Her stare makes it clear that she she is indicating Beth.

  Mark tries to correct his mother. “You mean Meryl Streep, Mom. You said Beryl.”

  “I know what I said, Mark. Meryl Streep is a fabulous actress. Beryl, I mean Susana, could never be confused with Meryl.”

  Beth giggles at the comment, trying not to spill the martini that Sal sent over. Beth hands the martini to Dana. Dana glares at Beth whose giggle turns to anger.

  Mark elbows Dana to keep quiet. “Enough, Mom. Why don’t you have a bite to eat?”

  Mark picks up Dana’s fork, loads it up with food, and aims for her mouth. Dana shakes her head and turns away. When Mark puts the fork down, Dana says, “I promise I will eat as soon as Blaine arrives. I don’t want him to have to eat alone.”

  Dana reaches for more sugar for her coffee and intentionally knocks over the martini glass. The contents spill into her dinner plate, ruining the food. She bats her eyes at Beth and says, “Beth, would you be a dear and grab me another entrée?”

  Beth groans in frustration while Susana suppresses a giggle.

  Mark pleads, “Can we just please get through this evening without a catfight!”

  Dana looks at Susana’s untouched plate. “I suppose I could eat Susana’s, but she’s probably sprinkled it with some concoction her old man designed to suck the calories out of food and replace them with air.”

  Mark chastises Dana. “Enough, Mom. May I remind you that it was at your insistence that Susana and I got engaged? If you didn’t li
ke her, why did you push?”

  Dana says, “Because, dear. I wanted a wife for you. I was not looking for a new wife for Blaine, which seems to be the part she thinks she is auditioning for. He already has a wife, and I’ve played that role for quite some time now and I have no intention of retiring.”

  Mark looks around. The guests are starting to stare. “Mom, please eat. Blaine’s a big boy. He can eat all by himself when he gets here … if he gets here…” Mark picks up Dana’s fork, scoops some food from his own plate and again aims for her mouth. Dana shakes her head, refusing to eat.

  Instead, she rescues the olive from the spilled martini glass. “I’ll eat. See, I’m eating now.” Mark rolls his eyes to the heavens for divine intervention. Still holding Dana’s fork, he now moves it toward Susana’s mouth.

  Susana pushes the fork away and says grimly, “I can feed myself, thanks.” Her lower lip starts to twitch. Motioning to Dana with her eyes, she says, “Can’t you do something with her?”

  Mark shakes his head and looks at Susana’s salad. She moves the arugula and the beets around without eating. He shakes his head in aggravation. “The only thing I see disappearing from your dinner is the coffee.”

  “I will make you a deal. How much do I have to eat before you go inside and get me your pain pills?” she asks Mark.

  Mark answers, “I will go inside if Mom will promise to sit here and eat dinner. And Mom, a martini olive is not considered a healthy dinner.”

  Dana reassures her son, “I promise. No olive. Now, go get her some pain pills before her whining drives me mad.”

  Dana watches Mark head for the house. Satisfied that he is out of sight, Dana eats nothing and leaves Susana at the table.

  Chapter 40

  Dana finds Sal at the bar, trips on a rock and falls into Sal’s arms. She looks up at him with notoriously flirty eyes.

  “Sal, darling, did anyone ever tell you how simply gorgeous you are?” she asks.

  Sal laughs and stands her upright. He jokes, “Why, yes. The mailman told me just this morning. I told him I was spoken for, but it was still nice to hear.”

  “Yes, sometimes a little flirting can be good for the ego.”

  “Thirsty, Dana?”

  Dana shoots a look at Beth, thinking to herself, If looks could kill.

  “Yes, Sal. I am very thirsty,” Dana purrs at Sal with one of her seductive looks. “Thirsty for revenge, dear boy.”

  “That’s a dangerous proposition, Dana. Revenge rarely works out the way we’d like.”

  “Do you know what isn’t working out the way we’d like? My ne’er-do-well husband is sleeping with your slut of a girlfriend! Maybe you and I should retire to my boudoir to teach them a lesson about betrayal? Better yet, we could run away together!” Dana purrs at him.

  The possibilities cross Sal’s face quickly before he regains his composure. “A tempting thought, sexy girl, but not a wise one. How about I fix you a drink instead?”

  Sal sighs at the thought of giving up a life with Dana and releases his grip on her shoulders as she pouts playfully.

  “Do you have anything to drink that’s considered food? I promised Mark I would eat dinner and he told me that an olive doesn’t qualify as dinner.”

  Sal looks around the bar for ingredients and comes up with an idea.

  Joseph and a few random party guests wander toward the bar area. All watch Sal and Dana as Dana continues her seduction. Joseph moves closer than the others, close enough to overhear the conversation without interrupting it.

  “I could make you a Lusty Wench,” he offers.

  “You’re going to make me a Lusty Wench? Dear boy, isn’t that what I’ve been trying to get you to do for the past five minutes?”

  Dana roars a throaty laugh as Sal chuckles and dips the rim of a glass into the sugar bowl that Susana had filled earlier that day.

  “Let me rephrase that offer. I’ll make you a Lusty Wench cocktail. It’s my own special recipe. I mix berries, amaretto, and vanilla vodka, and blend it all with ice cream. The finishing touch is dipping the rim of the glass in sugar and pouring the mix in from at least six inches from the top of the glass, so it froths up all nice and pretty. Plus, the berries qualify as food content to make Mark happy.”

  “Oooh,” Dana coos. “Yes, please.”

  Sal pours berries, amaretto, vanilla vodka and ice cream into a blender and blends it to a frothy cloud. He pours the cocktail into a sugar-rimmed glass and hands it to Dana.

  Raising his own glass of water, Sal says, “To you, Dana. You are one incredible woman. Please don’t worry about Blaine and Beth. Beth is a really good person in her own way. She just wants a better life than she had as a kid. I just don’t think she knows how to show her softer side in public. She’s completely different when we’re alone together.”

  “If you say so, dahhling. I won’t argue with you. I don’t see it, but if you say so,” Dana replies.

  “Then look at it this way … If Blaine were married to any woman in the universe other than you, he might be having a torrid affair with someone,” Sal says.

  Sal continues sincerely, “I can’t stand Blaine. You know that, Dana. But any man who’d take a woman like you for granted would be a blithering fool. Blaine’s annoying, conceited and a non-stop flirt … but he’s no fool.”

  Dana dips her head, shyness and gratitude shining through, before her feigned, confident exterior takes over again.

  “Thank you, dear Sal. You are a truly sweet man. If Beth makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”

  “I don’t know how happy Beth makes me these days. All she has done today is make me furious. Mark said it would be okay to swipe some of your tranquilizers so I can get through the night if Beth and Blaine start flirting.”

  He continues, “Mark gave me four this morning, but I took those already. I went back to the library and grabbed the last two out of the bottle. I hope you don’t mind. Mark said you had plenty.”

  “I’m sure I do.” Dana gives Sal a look that could tempt a dead man. “Are you sure you don’t want to run away together?” Dana coos. “I bet I could take your mind off Beth.”

  Sal pats his pocket that is holding the two loose tranquilizers. “I know you could. But I’d better stick with the tranquilizers. They have rehab to help you give up pills. I doubt if there’s a cure for ‘getting over’ you, Dana. And pills are less expensive than abandoning the deli, your house, and our careers.”

  “Running away sounds like a good idea in my head. Maybe not so much when it actually comes out of my mouth,” admits Dana. “But you have to admit, it’s intriguing.”

  “It certainly is,” flirts Sal. “Just unwise.”

  Dana turns on “more heat” and licks the sugar from the glass, giving her “audience” her sexiest hair toss. “So, I’ve still got it?”

  Sal warns her, “You’ve got ‘it’ and a whole lot more. Careful with that heat, Dana. You’ll melt the ice cream in your drink.”

  Dana laughs and licks the cherry out of the glass.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, dear boy. Melting ice cream is for amateurs. I’m hotter than global warming!”

  Chapter 41

  Beth fumes from a few feet away as she watches Dana flirt shamelessly with Sal. Susana picks up Dana’s plates, which are floating in martini remains, and hands them to Beth.

  Sal escorts Dana back to her table saying, “Please, Dana. Please eat something so Mark will stop worrying. You said you promised him that you would eat, remember? Before she sits down next to Francesca and the others, Sal reaches down and takes a forkful of smoked salmon from one of the plates and raises it to Dana’s mouth.

  Dana clamps her mouth closed like an obstinate child. She refuses to take a bite, instead taking a sip of her Lusty Wench.

  “Come on, Dana. Beth and I worked hard on this food. Not a bite?” Sal pleads.

  Dana shakes her head and waves her Lusty Wench around. “I’d rather have this,” she purrs. “It’s yummy!
” Sal pops the salmon bite into his own mouth. Dana tips her Lusty Wench up to Sal’s lips and he drinks.

  Sal sighs, “Oh, Dana. You are so tempting...”

  Dana licks her lips with a throaty laugh.

  At the nearby Luce table, Francesca giggles at the antics of her best friend. Ethan suppresses a quiet smile. Lucienne and Frank scan the crowd for any suspicious reactions or activities, and Helen and Carmella register their mutual surprise at Dana’s antics at the bar.

  Sal sees a guest walk up to the bar, and hustles over to fix the man’s drink. Dana, ready for another drink, is hot on Sal’s heels. Beth plops dessert plates with cannoli in front of Susana, who sits alone at the table surrounded by Mark’s, Dana’s and Blaine’s empty chairs.

  Susana looks up at Beth’s face, detects a faint, gloating smile, and glares at her.

  “What did you do?” Susana demands to know.

  “What are you talking about?” Beth replies innocently.

  “Don’t act so innocent. I see that smile on your face. Which cannolo did you spit in? Mark’s, Dana’s or mine? Or all three?”

  “Oh, come on…” Beth protests.

  “I’m serious, Beth. Which one did you spit in?”

  “Susana,” Beth says, as though talking to a child. “Don’t be ridiculous. I know you’ve never actually worked for a living, but spitting in someone’s food could ruin Sal’s reputation. Why would I do that? We all depend on him for a job that’s flexible enough to audition. Besides, if I were going to do something to your food, it would be something more “permanent” than a little spit, okay?”

  “Are you threatening me?” Susana shoots back.

  Steaming now, Beth says, “Susana, Let’s just say that I wouldn’t waste my spit on you unless it was to spit in your face.” Then she turns and flounces off.

  Susana suspiciously eyes the dessert. Certain that Blaine’s cannolo is the most likely to be spit-free or free from “something more permanent,” Susana switches her dessert plate with Blaine’s. I’m starving, but not hungry enough to eat something ‘permanent,’ Beth says to herself.