The Case of the Stained Stilettos

by Smith, Melissa J. L

  “In a younger woman, so he couldn’t resist,” moans Dana.

  Blaine takes his wife’s hand. “I happen to like the woman I have now,” he reassures his wife.

  Joseph says, “Mark, presumably, would be heartbroken over the loss of his fiancée to a man that he hates. It would be a slam-dunk for Beth to comfort Mark, and with Dana gone, there would be nothing to stop her from hounding him until he married her.”

  Mercy aims her anger at Beth. “You didn’t plan to kill Sal, but you didn’t mind breaking his heart.”

  Mark says bitterly, “At least he would have recovered from a broken heart.”

  Beth and Susana, now irrational and not thinking of what they are saying, try to find ways to blame the other, screaming and clawing at each other, until Mercy jumps between them.

  “Susana, you idiot! If you had just kept your tongue out of Blaine’s mouth in class, no one would have figured it out!” screams Beth.

  “We’re going to go there, are we, Beth? Well, if you had enough style to carry a purse, you could have tossed it away with the pill residue instead of grinding residue into your pocket.”

  Beth shoots back, “Don’t worry, sweetie. Maybe you can pay some designer to make a great custom bag to go perfectly with your new orange jumpsuit.”

  James stands up and says, “Susana Alfonso and Beth Luker, I am placing you under arrest in the murder of Salvatore Caggiano and in the conspiracy to murder Dana Montgomery.”

  As Frank puts the cuffs on Susana, Penelope applauds loudly. “Go get ’em, Son. You folks put on a better show than the last three Broadway plays that I’ve starred in!”

  Epilogue

  A couple of weeks pass, and the group reconvenes at the basketball court at Le Coeur Bel. Standing on one side of the center circle are Joseph, James, Blaine, Ethan, Frank, Mark and Wesley. All are wearing jerseys marked with the letters, “TG.”

  On the other side of the circle, Mercy, Francesca, Lucienne, Dana, Carmella, Helen and Rena wear t-shirts that read “WW.”

  Mercy hugs her husband and says, “And this is the last time I will be nice to you until the game is over.” She pauses. “What does the TG stand for?”

  Joseph laughs and says, “The Guys. Our team is called ‘The Guys.’”

  “Very original,” Mercy laughs.

  “And yours? Are you supposed to be Wonder Woman?” asks Joseph.

  “Don’t be silly. The three of us,” pointing to Francesca, Lucienne and herself, “are ‘Wilde Women.’” Pointing to Dana, Rena, Carmella and Helen, Mercy continues, “And those are Wild Women. No E.”

  Dana says, “And before we wipe the court up with you, I just want to thank for what you did for me … for all of us.”

  Wesley adds, “And I’m pleased to announce that I have purchased Bella Palermo Caterers and am running it with the same scheduling opportunities for acting students.”

  He squeezes Carmella and continues, “I’ve gone from brother/butler/man-about-town to brother/business mogul/steady boyfriend in less than two weeks!”

  Mark interjects, “Don’t forget ‘uncle!’ After all these years, I finally have an uncle, and a great one at that!”

  “Thank you, Nephew. We all adore little Lindsey. I look forward to becoming a great-uncle sooner than later,” Wesley laughs. “Ouch, that makes me sound old.”

  Blaine tells Wesley, “We are what we are, Brother-in-Law. And I’m enjoying it so much! So others may share in our good fortune, I’ve established three full-ride scholarships in Sal’s name for students who otherwise couldn’t afford to go to school.”

  Mark, surprised at that news says, “Blaine, you must know how much I appreciate that. I’m sorry that I misjudged you so many times. I hope we can be a better family from now on.”

  “Speaking of our family, I hear that ours is about to become a bit bigger?” asks Blaine.

  “Yes,” says Helen, beaming. “I know it’s ridiculously fast, but Mark has proposed, and I’ve accepted. We’re going to have a quiet wedding here next month with just a few family friends, then Lindsey and I will be moving in. She can’t wait!”

  “We hope all of you can come to the wedding. We’re thinking jeans, sweatshirts and burgers,” laughs Mark.

  “We’ll see about that last part, Mark,” says Francesca. “Remember, your mother is a star!”

  “Not only a star! I’m gonna be a grandma!” Dana pauses to think of the implications of that phrase. “Oh, who cares how old it makes me sound? I love Lindsey already and can’t wait to spoil her rotten!”

  Ethan gives Francesca a peck on the cheek.

  “Never question Francesca’s dedication to decorum. If she hadn’t pointed out Beth’s tendency to dig around in her pockets, I never would have agreed to bringing evidence to a dinner party,” says Ethan.

  Joseph concurs. “I admit I was a bit concerned about compromising the chain of custody, but the only way we could get a confession from those two was to pit them against each other.”

  Francesca says, “It was Mercy who first caught on to Beth and Susana’s scheme. You’re a lucky man, Joseph Luce.”

  “Yes, I am,” he says as he pops open a bottle of champagne and begins to pour.

  Blaine toasts, “To those of us who have been in love for years … and to those of us who have been in love for weeks. May we all live happily ever after.”

  Mercy picks up a flute and proposes a toast. “To Luce men everywhere!”

  Joseph adds, “And to the Wilde women and Wild Women that they love!”

  Mercy yells, “Let’s get this party started!!” as she throws the ball inbounds.

  Acknowledgments

  I want to acknowledge the many people who have contributed to this book, and to my life, over the years.

  I am eternally grateful to Lisa Stultz, who turned me into a true Angeleno. She was my first friend in Los Angeles and remains my best friend all these years later. I don’t know if I would have survived Los Angeles without her, but I’m glad I didn’t have to try.

  To my other BFF, Susan Robertson, who despite the fact that I’m not a “morning person,” talks to me at least a dozen times per day. Without her, my life would have been so much more boring and so much less fun.

  My extreme gratitude to my pal, Emmy-winning Supervising Sound Editor, Michael E. Lawshé, who recited the soliloquy from Hamlet on the steps of Lorimar’s Dub Stage 11 one day and probably has no idea that on that day, he spawned a book. His wisdom and advice over the years, and his willingness to teach me almost everything I know about Sound and bail me out of so many “work emergencies,” makes him my “Superman to the rescue.” (No, I don’t expect him to don tights and fly around Metropolis.) And to his beautiful wife, Keri Dearborn, who despite knowing that I was calling to add to his workload, still answered the phone with grace.

  To the Queens and the Hilers, my other family, who looked after my mom when I was 3,000 miles away. You will never know the depth of my gratitude. I love all of you like my own family. Without you, I would be lost.

  To Bradford Queen for being the son I never had. You know how proud I am of you. I marvel that you have grown up from the baby to whom I fed too much candy into such a smart, successful and kind man.

  To the Cropps, for being there in good times and in bad and for making us laugh till we couldn’t breathe. A special thank you to Helen for making sure that I got to go to the movies and on vacation and for making the best mashed potatoes on the planet.

  In memory of Chuck Silvers, Jack Foreman, Michael J. Kohut and Dana Wood … Chuck for saving me from the sinking ship of feature film distribution and allowing me to enter the wonderful world of sound postproduction; Jack for supporting me and inviting me to Sam Goldwyn’s office where you really can feel the ghosts; Dana for teaching me about engineering and how and why machines work the way they do and for talking Mike into letting me work on SDDS, and to Mike who taught me how to survive in the industry.

  As long as I’m on the subject of the �
�old Lorimar days,” my gratitude to Bob Singer, Jim Michaels, Phil Sgriccia and Chris Long who probably don’t remember the day that they saved my career on the Midnight Caller dub stage. An extra “thank you” to Jim who gave me very valuable advice about how to stand up to a bully.

  To Avery Drewe who has read my NCIS articles for over ten years, even though I know he’s always pressed for time. His patience and thoughtfulness are appreciated.

  To Don Rogers who called me from Warner Bros. to tell me that he found me a job at Disney, and to Glenn Barker at Disney who hired me, a huge thank you for changing my life.

  My gratitude to my two best bosses, Bob Radabaugh and Jim Powell. Bob moved mountains so I could visit my mom often when she was ill, and Jim helped me pick up the pieces after she passed away. Bob gave me some very important advice: “You will have many jobs in your life, but you’ll only have one mother.” My deepest thanks to you both.

  Jann Adachi, Lisa Burdick, Jon Fisher, Randy Yamanouye, Ron Fish, David Marvin and Brian Nefsky … what those ten years at Disney would have been like without you, I shudder to think. You’ve been my besties, my support system, my therapists and my friends. I am so grateful for all of you and for all you have done for me. Miss you, Randall. You left us too soon.

  To the Selbys, David, Chip, J.T., Brooke and Amanda, thank you for including us in your Christmases, Halloweens and special occasions. It always made our holidays so much warmer and brighter.

  Andrea Romano, you made my childhood dream of working at Warner Bros. come true. I always will be grateful for your support and for your friendship and for proving my mother wrong … cartoons and comic books DID make me a living.

  Thank you, Roger Davis, for all the lunches at Chin Chin and The Daily Grill. You’re my only friend in Los Angeles who knows me from “back in the day” and who knows what a “Hot Brown” and “Fried Banana Peppers” are.

  To Paul Stupin, the only person who ever beat me at Trivial Pursuit. You owe me a rematch. And to Ortwin Freyermuth who taught me never, ever to split another infinitive. I do not think I ever have since that day.

  To my friends in 285, 41 and 37. You know who you are and how much you mean to me.

  Thank you to Richard Forté, Gary Kirby, Maria Noel, Michael Stanton, Jared Bartholomew, Anthony Moat, Mike Derry, David Massicotte, Dakota Williams, Marc Vogels, Niek Hiemstra, Jason Kent, Carlos Perdomo and Tamara Martinez. You’ve taught me so much that I never knew about from funny British phrases to computers to construction to Canada.

  For Beve Regas, Dawn Handler, Kim McGee, Steve Lescher, Nancy Sams, Shaune Steele, Pamela Godwin-Austen, Marty Jones, Diane Slattery, Robert Hickland, Cat Hickland, J. Peter Robinson, Howard Geoghegen, Fern Lee, Clarissa Rocco, Tommy McCarthy, Ivan Hayden, Gregory Cascante, Mark Damon, Erin Donovan, John and Kate Hyde, Richard Branca, Jeff Taylor, Paul Wood, George Borghi, Barry Snyder, Chris Jenkins, Stan Wiegand, Wendy Schenker-Fish, Clif Gordon, John Dennis, Mike Morris, Matt Priddy, Tim Cleveland, Arthur Cotman, Larry Meyers, Seth Leik, Leslie Beavers, Dan Hiland, Mandy Levin, Brice Williams, Jim D’Addario, Del Spiva, Byron & Thomas Stultz, Thom Maurer, Mindie Blair-Bohrer, Lucile Kyle, Ricky Powell, Mary Richardson Ray, Joy Jakubowski, Carole Kinzel, Zeljka Gortinski. Linda Charbonneau, Jeff Ackermann, Terersa Moes, Tim Cleveland, Mark Reynolds, James Dinkins, John Kestler, David Steve Litten, Burcu Ertekin, Laura Sanches, Lindsey and Nick Simpson, The McNallys. Sherry Klein, Shannon Rutecki, Liz Rogers, Julia Eickoff, Ray Foushee, Marge Jordison, Mary Roush, Tom Smith, Michael Heuser, Edwin Friendly III, Michael Bremer, Joe and Ben Herrington, H.F. Crane, Mike Shannon, Kurt Kinzel, Russell Brower, Rusty Wiles, Tish Eastman, Robbin Broad, Scott Spencer, Don Lewis, Jim Dotson, Al Vasquez, Sam Buckner, Greg Krueger, Greg Lhotka and my friends from Lorimar, Sony, Vestron, PSO, Warner Bros., NBCUniversal and Disney … each one of you has made a special contribution to my life along the way, and I thank you for that.

  In no particular order, Peggy Hunt, Connie Wingate, Terre Noland, Emily Branscum, Nancy Cassidy, Connie McCormick, Rosemary Barnes, Nancy Kukulinsky, Beverly Barnard, Shelly Williams, Sally and Ronny Thornton, Cinda Justice, Bee Brooks Brown, the Roberts Family, the Wednesday Girls and their families, the Mt. Sterling Advocate, the Haskells, the Martins and Mount Sterling, thanks for the good old days (emphasis on “good” and not “old”) and for the fun yet to come. And to Evelyn McLean and Sara Booth who are still with us in spirit, miss you so much.

  Thank you, Tony Ciccone for introducing me to Joseph and knowing that he was the perfect man for me before five minutes passed. Thank you, Frank Estrada and Andres Lopez, for being his support system through so much, and thank you, Dave Martin, for being you. You are missed.

  Thank you to Kathy Tucci who went to the mat to get me a job at NBC and to Michael Tucci for singing while you cook. You are good people, good friends, and the best cooks I’ve ever known.

  Much love to my in-laws, Sal and Paul Sciuto, Lourdes Mendoza and Teresita Ann, our niece. You bring so much joy to my life, and I am forever grateful to be part of your family. And to Steven Sciuto, Rena Sciuto, Al and Carmella Ciotola and Maureen Sciuto, the world is so much better for your having been here.

  To Bogie and Bette for filling the “roles” of Mack and Mabel in this book. Mommy owes you extra cat treats for your inspiration. For fur-kids Jake, Dixie, Punkinhead, Cagney, Teddy, Bogie-dog, Laika, Gable, Trouble-cat, Diablo, Evil Roy and Herman, I miss you every day.

  To the fabulous Betty Lou Gerson (the voice of Cruella de Vil) who was kind enough to invite me to her beautiful home and entertain me with stories of her thoughts on Cruella, and to Cruella’s inspiration, the great Tallulah Bankhead. Thank you for being the voice in my head that created Dana Montgomery.

  There is a long list of people along the way who have been kind, helpful and given great advice. You know who you are, and you know that I appreciate it.

  Most importantly, to my husband, Joseph Sciuto. Your love and patience, your kindness and intelligence have made me happy ever since the first day I met you. Thank you for insisting I write this book, for loving me, inspiring me and for marrying me. You truly are the best thing that ever happened to me.

  And to the fabulous Larry Hagman, who as “J.R. Ewing,” said, “Never pass a good chance to shut up.” This seems like my chance to do just that. Thank you for reading!

  About the Author

  Melissa J.L. Smith is a 25-year veteran of Hollywood studios and production companies, including The Walt Disney Company, Universal Studios, Warner Bros., Sony Pictures Studios, NBC and Lorimar-Telepictures. She and her husband met on the former MGM Studios lot and have lived happily ever after since. They spend their time playing with their two extremely spoiled cats, Bogie and Bette (named after Humphrey Bogart and Bette Davis), who are the inspirations for Mack and Mabel in the Luce and Wilde Hollywood Mysteries series. You can find her credits on iMDb at http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2688300/ and follow her on Twitter @melissasmiths.