A Fresh Start

by Lexi Bissen

  Making my way out of the classroom, I notice Allen sitting on the floor against the lockers. He is currently taking a selfie of his bored expression, no doubt sending it out on SnapChat. When he sees us, he’s off the floor faster than Gibson can get fully out of the room.

  Walking up to us, Allen plants his hands on his hips. “It’s about time you little fuck bunnies came out of your love nest. My ass was growing numb sitting on that cold floor.”

  My mouth drops wide open at Allen’s bluntness. I look around to double check the hallways are clear, and thank God, they are. Allen doesn’t usually have a filter and will say just about anything in front of anyone. His momma has given up on teaching him to watch what he says, mainly because he’s always saying the first thing that comes to his mind.

  I smack Allen in the stomach. “Watch what you say, you dork. Anyone can hear you,” I warn.

  Allen glances up and down the hallway and raises a brow at me. “You do realize there isn’t anyone here except the three of us, right? Class started twenty minutes ago, but I’m guessing you didn’t notice the bell ring?” I blush and duck my head. “Yep, that’s what I thought, you little sex kitten.”

  “Allen!” I yell. He needs to cut it out with the sex talk, especially when we’re around Gibson. There’s nothing more embarrassing than someone talking about it in front of the person you’re seeing.

  Gibson is laughing quietly from behind me. When I turn around, he smiles and winks. “Don’t encourage this behavior,” I tell him. “Allen needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut.”

  Coming closer, Gibson wraps his arms around me, much like he did in the classroom. “Aw, baby, don’t get upset with Allen. He was just messing around, right, man?” He looks up and glares at Allen, silently telling him to agree.

  My lovely best friend isn’t the brightest when it comes to subtle hints. “What do you mean I was messing around? If you guys would have seen what I saw through that window, you’d understand.”

  His mention of the window brings another thought to me. “No one else said anything, did they?”

  “You think I would let that happen?” Allen asks. “I stood guard in front of that window so no one saw your little make out session. It was especially helpful when Sean came looking for you.” My body goes cold at the thought of my brother catching us. “But don’t worry, I told him you had a girly problem and were in the bathroom. That got him to walk away, no questions asked.”

  That would do the trick. Any mention of periods or cramps, guys want nothing to do with the conversation. “Well, thanks for getting him away, even if the excuse was humiliating for me.” Allen shrugs like it’s no big deal. Of course it’s not for him, he isn’t the one who’s embarrassed. “Did he ask about where Gibson was?”

  Allen nods and smiles. “Yep. I told Football Star Gibby was getting you some Ginger Ale for your problems.”

  I roll my eyes and say, “Thanks”.

  Gibson looks at his watch and then back at us. “We may want to head to class before anyone notices how long we’ve been out here.”

  The three of us head to English. Before we make it to the door, Gibson stops me and plants a sweet kiss on my lips. Pulling away, he whispers, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Trusting and listening to me. There’s no one else I want to be with. You need to understand that, even if I say something like what I did to your brother. Until you want him to know, I’ll do everything I can to make sure he doesn’t find out.”

  I nod. “I know, and I’m sorry for overreacting.”

  “Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  Allen opens the door and holds it for us to walk in. When I enter the classroom, everyone is working in partners. Sean pays no attention as he flirts with one of the cheerleaders. I let out the breath I’ve been holding at my brother’s cluelessness.

  We sit down at our table and Mr. Henry comes over to ask where we’ve been and explains the assignment we are doing today.

  After we begin researching different poets in our textbooks, my skin prickles, feeling someone’s eyes on me. Both Gibson and Allen are reading their text and Sean is still fixated on his cheerleader. Facing forward, I catch Roger glaring between Gibson and me. My stomach drops. Why can’t he be distracted by a cheerleader like Sean?

  It’s been a shitty week. I’ve barely seen Ronnie at all and I’m getting over having to keep our relationship a secret. They hired a new girl at work, so Ronnie is helping train her and spends most nights there. The nights she has had off, she catches up on homework. I’ve only seen her once this week and it was a short visit before she had to get to work Wednesday night.

  Luckily, she has Friday and Saturday off. Thursday after school, I told Ronnie she should get all her schoolwork caught up because I wanted her to myself on Saturday. Ronnie said there wasn’t much to do in or near Freedom that would be fun for a date and not get us caught, and after doing some research, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is absolutely nothing to fucking do anywhere.

  Breaking out my computer, I do a search of towns within a two hour drive from here. There has to be something I can find for us to do. I refuse to believe these people live this boring of a life. I don’t come up with much in my hour long search, but right before I give up, I see an advertisement for a carnival going on in Mobile. I haven’t been to a carnival since I was a kid and River’s mom brought the two of us to one of those traveling ones. The games were the best part. We were competitive and had to play each game at least once.

  I realize there’s a smile on my face thinking about the carnival, something so simple compared to all the other adventures I’ve been on, yet the memory makes me feel the best.

  Deciding this is the perfect place to take Ronnie, I grab my phone out of my pocket and I text her to let her know I have our date set for Saturday and we’ll leave around one. She’s at work, so I’m surprised when she messages me back right away.

  Princess: Are you keeping this one a secret, too? You know I don’t like secrets

  I can picture her sporting that same pouty face. No matter how much she complains about me surprising her, I know deep down she loves it.

  Me: Of course I’m keeping it a secret, and don’t even think about trying to get it out of me. My lips are sealed, baby.

  Princess: Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to convince you…

  Scenario after scenario of ways Ronnie can convince me run through my mind. As much as my body wants to have her name off some ideas, this surprise if too good. Dick be damned, I’m not giving in.

  Me: I’d like to revisit this conversation another time. I have a feeling I will most definitely like what’s going through your head, but my lips are still sealed, baby.

  Princess: Ugh, fine. Just be warned, mister, tomorrow may be a little bit of a…struggle for you. Ttyl ;)

  Her last message makes me nervous. Tomorrow’s Friday. She wouldn’t do anything with her brother around…would she?

  To answer my question, yes, yes she would. I was walking around with permanent blue balls from my hot as fuck girlfriend. Ronnie decided to be subtle with her attempt at getting me to tell her where we’re going tomorrow. This morning, she was dressed differently. She still looked like Ronnie, only…sexier. If that were even possible. My girl was wearing a black V-neck t-shirt, shorts that would make any man look twice when she walks by, and the sexiest part of the outfit—cowboy boots. She looked like every cowboy’s wet dream—or, in this case, every cowboy and me.

  It wasn’t only the outfit that had me almost caving multiple times. Ronnie’s constant touching and flirty smiles didn’t help. Any class we sat next to each other in, she would keep her hand in my lap, running her nails up and down my thigh. It was torture and she knew it. I finally had enough in our last class together when Ronnie started massaging it, coming dangerously close to my dick, which was already straining from her touch. A man can only take so much. I grabbed her hand and gave my snea
ky girl a warning look. She stuck her tongue out at me and went back to her assignment, acting as if nothing happened while I was having a hard time refraining myself from attacking her in the middle of class.

  I made it through school and the car ride today. Luckily, Allen was going home with Ronnie, so all I was able to give her was a small peck on the lips. I’m still not used to having a girlfriend, so making out with Ronnie, like I would have liked, in front of Allen would have been awkward. It was a good thing he was here, though. I have a feeling Ronnie would have tried even harder to get our date location out of me, and with us being alone, there was a lot higher chance of me giving in.

  Friday night, I find myself alone in my uncle’s house and I’ve started to get used to the quiet. Back home, I was always surrounded by people. Whether it was a party at a friend’s house or just some of the guys chilling and smoking a bowl. Thinking about it now, there weren’t many times where I wasn’t around someone. After I dropped out of school, I had a lot of free time. Most of my friends were either older than me or had also dropped out. The only difference is I eventually found my way out of that nothing life and those guys are still stuck in it. I’m sure some of them won’t ever find their way out. I shudder, thinking that could have been me.

  Making my way to the kitchen, I rummage through the fridge and cabinets in search of food. I find canned goods in the pantry, but it’s mostly beans and pickles. I wrinkle my nose. Strange combination. I come up with less in the fridge. I’m just about to give up and walk to the closest grocery store when I see a frozen pizza tucked away in the back of the freezer. It’s stuffed crust too. Score.

  While the pizza is cooking, I bring out my guitar and work on some of the music River and I were coming up with before I left. While people know I can play guitar, I usually tone it down so they don’t know how well I can actually play. And no one, not even River, knows about my need to play every day, to feel the music go through me for hours on end.

  What made it great playing with River was the guy’s talent to come up with lyrics on the top of his head. The nights I would stay over at River’s, which was usually when my mom didn’t want to deal with me and would drop me off there, we would stay up all night just making shit up. Some of the songs were total garbage, but once in a while, we would come up with a song that didn’t completely suck.

  Grabbing my guitar off of the sofa, I pluck at the strings to make sure it’s in tune. Since I know Dan will be home soon, I want to play a few licks before my alone time is up.

  The calluses on my fingers have made it so they’re numb to the pressure when I play. It was helpful when I felt the need to sit in my room and strum song after song, usually after one of my mom’s many nights of getting so high, she would pass out on the living room couch.

  The music was an escape for me. A way to get away from all the fame, the liars, and my parents. I could tune everything around me out and only focus on what’s in my head.

  Before my brain can register what my hands are doing, they start playing Ellie Goulding’s remake of Your Song. I smile, thinking about Ronnie. Damn, this girl is inside of me.

  The front door slam shut, breaking me of my depressing thoughts. Looking up, Dan is walking into the room, wearing his uniform and carrying his backpack. Tossing it on the kitchen counter, he walks over to check what’s in the oven. Shit! I forgot about the pizza. Dan opens the oven and gets a face full of dark smoke. I place my guitar on the couch and jump up to help him with the burning pizza.

  Snatching a towel from the counter, I try to fan out the smoke before it can set the alarm off. The last thing I want is a visit from the fire department. That would be a pain in the ass.

  Dan turns the oven off and grabs another towel to help. After some intense fanning, we finally get the smoke under control. The two of us stare at the contents. If I hadn’t put it in there myself, I never would have guessed what it was.

  “What the hell were you trying to make, kid?” Dan sounds stunned at what he’s looking at.

  I rub the back of my head. “I…um, sorta forgot to set the timer, I guess.”

  “What is that thing anyway?” he grabs a spatula and starts poking at the black ball of gunk. The moment he touches a piece, it breaks apart and falls to the bottom of the oven. This is going to be a bitch to clean.

  I let out a laugh. “It was pizza, but it’s a little more charred than I would like.”

  Dan laughs and throws his towel on the counter. “Well, how about I order a pizza instead? That shit in there isn’t edible.” He closes the oven and reaches into his back pocket for his phone.

  After ordering two large meat lover pizzas, Dan snags a beer out of the fridge and collapses on the couch. He looks worn out. I guess I would be too if I were working over sixty hours a week. Dan told me he should be cutting back on his hours, but his partner had to take some extra time off. There was some emergency with his newborn baby and he’s been at the hospital with his wife for the last few days.

  I take a seat on the empty couch next to my guitar, but I don’t pick it back up. Dan knows I play, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable playing around him. Only one person has ever heard me play, and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon.

  “So, how was your week at school?” Dan asks me, breaking the stretch of awkward silence.

  “It’s actually going good, I guess. Better than the last school I was in. Though, that’s not saying much.”

  He nods and we descend into silence again. A few awkward minutes go by, neither of us knowing what to say. “How about you and Ronnie? How’s that going?”

  I smile at his mention of my girl. Dan notices the smile before I have a chance to answer him. “That good, huh.” It’s not a question, but I nod my head anyway.

  I shake my head, trying but failing to cover the smile. “I know I probably sound like a pussy talking about this, but I really do like her. A lot. She’s so different from any other girl I’ve met.”

  Dan studies me closely. Lifting an eyebrow, he asks, “How is that?”

  I think over his question. It’s more of a feeling than anything. Being around Ronnie, I don’t feel the need to seek out drugs and alcohol like I did before. Ronnie’s presence is enough for me, and I’m happy. Just happy to be around her. To make her happy. I think that’s what relationships are all about. Making each other happy with little effort.

  When I finally open my mouth to answer Dan, he’s staring at me, rubbing the scruff on his chin. Like he’s worried about my answer. I don’t want him to think my intentions with Ronnie are anything like the women I used to be with. He needs to know that I’m serious about her, not just having fun.

  “I’m not sure how to explain it, but I get this…feeling when I’m around her. It’s strange and different for me. I just know Ronnie’s it. I feel it in my gut that she’s the girl for me,” I say to him.

  Dan’s eyes drop and a small frown forms on his lips. Rubbing the back of his head, he drops his gaze to the floor, breaking eye contact with me. “Yeah, kid, I get that feeling. Probably more than you know.” He stands and grabs his beer from the coffee table. “I’m heading to bed. Tomorrow I have a double and then the next four days off. My partner’s coming back next week, so I’ll be gone most of the day. You going to be around?”

  “No. I’m taking Ronnie on a date out by Mobile.”

  “Mobile? That’s kinda far.”

  I shrug. “Not much to do around here. Figured we’d go out and do something different.”

  He gives a short laugh. “Yeah, I guess there isn’t much for teenagers to do around these parts.” It seems like he wants to say more, but starts heading toward his room instead. Before he reaches the hallway, Dan turns back to me. “I get what you mean when you say you feel it, about Ronnie being the girl for you. There’s no way to explain that feeling, you just know.” With that, he disappears into the hall.

  I sit back on the couch, thinking about what my uncle just confessed to me. He understands, so
that must mean he has someone, or had someone. Makes me wonder where she is.

  After Dan leaves to his room, the pizza delivery guy shows up. I think maybe the smell of fresh pizza will get him to come back out, but I end up eating a whole pie alone.

  It’s close to eleven by the time I finish eating and put away the leftovers. Since Dan is asleep, I check all the doors to make sure they’re locked and turn out all the lights. Stripping out of my clothes, I make my way into bed with only my boxers on.

  Friday night and I’m in bed by eleven. So much has changed in the last five months, and I can’t say I’m against this new life. Living in this simple, small town may be boring, but for some strange reason, being here feels more like home than living with my mom ever did.

  Ronnie is that reason and I can feel it.

  Thinking about my girl makes me want to talk to her. Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I pull up her contact and send her a message.

  Me: Hi there sexy ;)

  Princess: I’m sorry, the number you have reached doesn’t go for lame pick up line. Please try again.

  Me: Lame? What the hell, I thought that was right on point.

  Princess: *eye roll* And how many girls have you texted that to in the past?

  Shit, she’s got me there. Another texts comes in before I reply.

  Princess: Your silence speaks for itself. I’m guessing you used that often?

  Me: No comment

  Princess: Player

  Me: Ex-player. There’s no more playing going on. I’m all played out.

  Princess: Oh, great, I get the leftovers from ghost of sluts past? Gee, thanks.