Alterations

by Lucretia Stanhope

  He reached a hand up and put it in her hair, pulling her face to within an inch of his own. He didn't carry any sweet smells, no mint, no sandalwood, he sent out sweat, dirt, death, and war.

  “You do want to know, and you have no one else to trust but me.” His tone was low and his proximity chilling. “I'm your only hope, Gwen. Does that make you sad, or excite you?”

  She backed away. “I already have Timofei, you would be trading down.”

  “Why haven't you told him, then? Tell him his son plots against him. Tell him how I make you feel. The things I say. What about the way my touch makes you feel?” he asked and ran his hand down her neck.

  “Stop it.”

  He shrugged. “As you wish, my queen.”

  While they walked back to the house, she thought about what he said. She wondered if she really could shield her thoughts from Timofei. That would change everything. That would give her hope again. How could she even test that? Did she dare? Could she even dream, when getting caught with such dreams could mean death?

  “He'll never kill you.”

  “Matvei, please.”

  He put up both hands. “Stay out, I know. I did offer to show you how to avoid that.”

  “Did you? Was that really an offer? You never made a demand.” Even as she said it, she felt a shift in her thinking. Something was changing, something that made her consider him again.

  “Sure it was. I could even show you how to take a peek at our thoughts. I have no demands, yet.”

  “Why?” she asked, suspicious that no demands meant something changed with him too.

  “I'm bored.”

  “But I can't. I'm just a human. The human mind is…” she started, he interrupted.

  “Can't is such an ugly word from such a beautiful mouth. You were just a human. What do you imagine twenty years of drinking the strongest vampire blood available might have done to you? A few gifts? Do you feel stronger? Sick much?” He reached down and snatched her arm. His nails dragged down, tearing her flesh. Blood pooled around the cuts, but when he wiped it away the cuts were gone. “Nifty.”

  “Ouch.” She yanked her arm back. “It may heal, but that still hurts.”

  “It did prove a point. You are not just a human.”

  “So you would help me for the same reason your father gave Dmitry time. You want a more challenging battle? You hate me that much?”

  “You misunderstand how I feel. I don't hate you. I appreciate that you are now the strongest adversary a vampire might find. It's exciting. I find it shameful to lock your power away under some guise of domination.”

  “You can't really think I believe you would make me a better vampire slayer because you are bored?”

  “The best. The most feared. Feared by everyone but me, and Timofei perhaps. How fast would you run if you thought I was in pursuit right now? If I meant to kill you tonight?”

  She looked down and played with the seam of her sweater. “I couldn't out run you.”

  “No, but you would try, it would be your only option.”

  She looked at him stood beside her, his stance as relaxed as if they were talking about planning a luncheon, not treason. “I am out matched by any vampire, especially you and Timofei.”

  “Are you though? How quickly would you turn to face me, if you knew you had a chance at freedom?”

  She laughed, feeling some tension leave at the thought. “I would kill you in a heartbeat.” She gave him her best imitation of his smirk.

  “Maybe you would, but I don't think so. You appreciate things. Helping you is as large a risk for me as it is you. You would feel some human emotion that I helped you. Do you realize how much sweeter your submission would be if it were a gift, rather than taken by force?”

  She snorted. “I would only ever submit to a monster by force.”

  “Let's give you a choice and see. What fun we could have.”

  “You put dangerous thoughts in my head. I can't survive his wrath like you can.”

  “No, not like I could, but you can. How about an act of good faith? I'll clean up those rattling thoughts of yours, so you can feel safer. Should he get curious like I do, it might make him angry to see thoughts of hopping realms and leaving us, making love to Sebastian, and I won't embarrass you with what else I have seen.”

  She drew in a breath at the suggestion. “Why? If it is really a hazard. You have no reason to take such risks for me. I despise you.”

  He didn't respond, his hand reached up and he tilted her head so their eyes could meet. She felt him pushing into her mind. As he maneuvered around her ideas, she could see them spun into little balls and tucked away.

  “Thank you,” she said in a soft voice when he backed out. “I'll need to think about things. There is still a demon or treacherous witch to worry about.”

  “Think about things. That is a tantalizing change of tone. Think about them quietly, at least until you decide to let me show you how to keep that safe.” He rocked back on the heels of his boots. “Don't let him coddle you into fearing a demon. You are stronger now than twenty years ago.”

  “You imply I might be able to fight demons, but we both know I have no weapons to do so.”

  “Do we, do we both know that? Have you tried lately? You are not a scared little witch with two babies sucking away her magic anymore.”

  She thought a moment as he started to walk away, the sound of his boots as they crunched the branches that littered the ground filled the air. “Are you baiting me to annoy Timofei? You know the only way to test it would be to think something around him that I knew would set him in a rage. Would you like to see him hurt me? Because he would. I don't doubt that.”

  They stepped from the woods and made their way to the cobblestone path.

  “I'd rather hurt you myself. You'd like it when I did.” He winked at her before he vanished into the night.

  Chapter Three

  “I must be at Odeen,” Timofei said, enunciating each word.

  Gwen watched as he paced, the carpet of the bedroom muffled his heavy steps. After Timofei returned with the bad news that the demon left no trail back to any witches, she slept in a light and fitful sleep for several hours until a few minutes ago, when his arguing with Matvei woke her.

  While she slept, Matvei left and returned with awful reports. Timofei didn't intend to wake her and didn't tell her any of the details. He didn't need to tell her anything, she saw in his face that he took the threat serious, more serious than demons, more serious than he usually took breaches.

  “Is it the ogres again?” she asked. The creatures who continued to test his realms did not have a name, but she called them ogres. From what Matvei shared with her it was fitting. Timofei never spoke directly about them.

  She stepped in his path and hugged him. As an offer to help him relax, she brushed her hair to the side.

  He kissed her neck twice before she heard him sigh. “I have to see to this myself it would appear. They need exterminated completely.”

  “Exterminated? You are going to chase them?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Yes, I will follow them home and destroy the place.” His voice felt colder than his aura as his breath danced on her skin.

  “Send Matvei. Please. I want you here.”

  “No, I need him here with you. I can't worry about you and demons while I am at war.”

  “War? A proper war? If it is that serious then go and take Matvei. I'm fine. Leave me a small squad. I will have this witch, whoever they are, punished and stripped of power and memories before you return.”

  “On your own? No. I can more than fight my own wars. You are to stay here with Matvei. I have a man working with Kenneth.”

  “Stay here, here? You mean here at the fortress? You can't be serious. I am not going to stay here and fret over both you and the council. That is absurd.”

  He turned his head sharply and looked down at her. “Perhaps I have been too forgiving with you, my love. Understand me on this, you are to
stay here.”

  When he broke the embrace, she left the room and started toward the back of the fortress. She knew she needed away from him to get her emotions in check. To stay and argue was foolish. While she listened to the sound of her steps echo in the empty halls, she wondered how much of her bravery manifested from the conversation with Matvei. She knew better than to let him manipulate her, but the no demands and something in his eyes said he planned something bigger too. Something he needed her for.

  “I have no demands, yet.” She revisited the moment. Yet?

  She pushed the conversation away until a safer time, and made her way to the abandoned office that always reminded her of the monstrous side of Timofei. The language on the scrolls puzzled her for years, but once solved, it told of horrible battles. Brutality beyond anything she imagined, and the annihilation of an entire species. Almost the entire species, some at least planned to leave.

  According to the descriptions, a vampire best fit the creature written about, the one who ravaged the land and stayed in pursuit of the survivors. Symbols on some scrolls hinted at a tear they intended to flee into. She puzzled over them from time to time when Timofei was off realm.

  Her eyes widened at the thought of Matvei knowing that as well. Would he care enough to follow her clues to the tear? If he really did show her how to guard thoughts, she planned to lock away any progress on that mystery.

  The office was free of the draped cloths, spider webs and dust it once wore like a layer of protection. She sat at the desk and opened the drawer. Inside was a ball of yarn and some knitting needles. Not a project, just stress yarn.

  She knitted. Knitted and thought.

  She did not want to stay on realm when she could be at council. Whoever wanted to attack her could be baited to try again, reveal themselves, but not if she sat at home. She needed to find out who it was before they decided to follow her home, hurt the kids, hurt the other elemental witches. Without a clear motive, she didn't know what to expect.

  She knitted a few more rows.

  Don't push him, she told herself. You get more when you play his game.

  She put the yarn back in the drawer and walked out, looking for her monster. She needed to tell him goodbye and at least get his permission to be at council. The halls didn't echo with the same emptiness as she returned. They never did. Her lost feelings stayed behind and the gained clarity joined her on the way back.

  She followed his presence to his office, where she found him looking out the window.

  “Are you finished pouting now?” he asked. His hands were balled at his sides and his jaw twitched.

  “I'm sorry.” She walked over to him. Her gaze followed his. A couple in the distance stood just inside the woods, sharing a kiss. Her hand reached for his and pried it open. His fingers stayed stiff as she laced hers between them. Him angry at her felt intimidating, and reminded her why she could count the times she pushed him over their twenty years on one hand. “I will do what you ask.” She allowed her tone to fill with sadness and forced her aura to flutter.

  His fingers loosened. “I only ask you to do what is safest, precious.”

  She sighed and leaned against him. “It brings back awful memories to be told what to do.” She filled her mind with memories of Dmitry.

  He tapped the fingers of his free hand on the window ledge. “It isn't like that with us.”

  She let the pause grow a few seconds, so he could fill the void with doubt. “Of course not. I love you.”

  “You say I love you like it hurts.” He bent a finger under her chin, turning her head so they looked at each other. “Does it?”

  “It hurts when it becomes so clear you possess me. That's not love.”

  He pulled his finger away and let her chin drop.

  She looked away, sending out a wave filled with disappointment and despair.

  “I never intend to hurt you. My precious treasure, you understand no one in existence could ever replace you.” He walked away from the window, back to his desk. He put a few things in the drawer and closed it, locking it. “You can’t be alone at council.”

  She fought back a smile and held her sad posture. “I'm never alone.”

  “You were; you were heading to your office alone. That can’t happen again. Not even after you find your witch and I handle them.”

  “I promise.” She walked over to his desk and ran her finger along the leather on the back of his chair.

  His eyes danced with anger still.

  She guessed the anger came from compromise. He viewed compromise as the equivalent of losing.

  “I will be home as soon as it is reasonable,” he said.

  “I will miss you every second.” She turned to face him, laced her hands together around his waist, and kissed him.

  “Never alone,” he said when the kiss ended. “You need some rest.”

  They walked back to their bedroom, and he sat on the bed. She crawled in beside him.

  While he stroked her hair, she made sure to project happiness and love. She didn't want him to feel their agreement as a loss. That he gave her the slightest inch on the matter, made her wonder if he did really love her. Could he love? No was always the answer she ended on, no he could not. He wanted her, he valued her. He knew she wanted to feel loved. He tried. Often, he succeeded.

  She pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm. She also tried to make him feel loved, though she doubted he cared about that as much as her willingness to feed him.

  G wen tapped her pen on the calendar. They expected her at the colony meeting for the rebirth festival between lunch and dinner. The morning looked to her like a beautiful void she could fill with a trip to council. She wanted to go during the day, when vampires wouldn't always hover over her shoulder and scare witches, the witch.

  Mind made up, she took a fast pass by the kid's rooms. She hoped to say goodbye, but the rooms sat empty. She knew Kyna always made an early start at the school.

  Gwen sighed as she remembered she forgot to ask Timofei about Kyna staying at the school.

  When she saw Brac's room unused, she figured he probably slept at his friend Jack’s house. He spent such a small amount of time on realm, Gwen tried not to press him to spend it all at home.

  She didn't feel Matvei while she searched for the kids. While she walked, she tucked her aura in as tight as she could. She wanted to stay small and slip off realm unnoticed by anyone but the guard. She could deal with his report later. All she told Timofei was she wouldn't be alone. Witches and other creatures filled council, she didn't expect she would find herself alone, not technically.

  The tear location meant she had to get a little closer to the colony than she wanted. As she passed near the main building, she felt magic buzzing around. Again, she tucked her own in, and hoped no one noticed her.

  “Gwen, oh, Gwen, I am so glad to see you. I have something for you.”

  Gwen turned to see Beverly approaching so fast her skirt billowed behind her. “Hello, Beverly. What's this?” Gwen asked as Beverly held a few papers toward her in her long, graceful hands.

  “I thought you might take these to your meeting this afternoon. It, well, a few of us would like the festivities for the children to end earlier this year.” Crimson crept to the surface of her cheeks.

  Gwen tried not to blush herself. There was only one reason to want that. Last year the festival ended in bare skin dancing, as often happened at their late-night moon celebrations. To plan ahead for it didn't really shock Gwen. Witches preferred freedom from manmade bindings when they connected to the earth and each other.

  Gwen didn't take part in any of those, since after seeing the very first one she joined, Timofei requested she did not. Anytime she needed to make that connection, she did it in the courtyard of the abandoned part of the fortress, far away from prying eyes.

  “Of course, I will make sure to bring it up. It is a good suggestion. The kids will likely be exhausted from all of the games.” Gwen noticed Beverly relax a
bit. “If you will excuse me.”

  Gwen walked into the main building and toward her office to leave the papers on her desk. Since she was already there, she decided to get her papers in order for the meeting. If she returned late, it would allow her to get right to business.

  Walking on site proved a mistake. Since her days on colony grounds stayed occupied with one thing or another until Timofei dragged her away, it didn't surprise her. When they joked about needing a third realm for her to rest on, she always considered it.

  Two steps in the door, and she heard her name called. It was the fire magic instructor, Gina. Gwen wondered why she wasn't in class.

  “Is everything okay?” Gwen asked, after a fast hello.

  “No, your son, Gwen, we need to make time for a talk. Timofei should be here too,” she said. Not a hair moved in her tightly wound bun as she pushed her horn rimmed glasses up on her pointed nose. Her steel gray eyes looked at Gwen with disapproval.

  Gwen closed her eyes. Brac caused more than her fill of meetings with Gina. “Timofei is off realm on important business. Is it something I can handle?”

  Gina pursed her lips. “He needs guidance, Gwen. Jarrod doesn't get enough time with him when he is always off realm with that brother of his.”

  “I agree. If you'll follow me to my office, we can talk and I will speak to him, his father, and brother.” She wanted to remind her he was a grown man now, but didn’t.

  Gina appeared to Gwen to soften, she never thought of her as a harsh woman. Gina saw Brac at his very worst, and still seemed to love him, and all of her children. Elemental witches being known about for such a short time still held many secrets. One they discovered over the first twenty years, was that the fire witches gave the word temperamental a whole new depth. Gina always managed a firm, but tolerant stance with their moods, more forgiving than their parents at times.