Forbidden Queen Complete Series: Books 1-4
Page 53
Ethan stopped licking and I set the pillow aside. He pulled my skirt back down.
“You’re not going, are you?” I asked.
“I only had a few minutes. We’ll finish this next time I see you.”
My heart ached as he climbed off the bed. “Please don’t go.”
He cupped my cheek with his large hand and leaned down to kiss me full on the mouth. It was a short kiss, but it spoke volumes. There was something behind that kiss that felt like determination, and maybe fear.
He kissed my forehead then stood. “Remember, we can sense when you’re in danger, but we can’t come to your aid without costing you the trials.”
“I know,” I said.
“Please be careful,” he said, brow furrowed.
“I will,” I said.
“As soon as they let me back here, I’ll be here,” he said. “Good luck.”
I stood and threw my arms around him. He squeezed me back, lifting me so my legs were off the ground.
“Be safe, Cassia,” he whispered. “We all want you to win, but we want you to live more.”
My throat felt tight and tears burned in the back of my eyes. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just nodded into his chest.
He let me go and took a few steps toward the door. “See you soon.”
“See you soon,” I said.
As soon as the door closed behind him, I collapsed on the bed, feeling exhausted. For the next week, I would train with the other candidates. Trapped in the palace without my mates.
This would be the longest wait of my life.
Chapter Three
“You each have an hour with the queen today,” Jaya said. “When you’re not with the queen, you may ask questions of each other, of the council members, use the library, or the practice rooms.”
I looked at the other candidates. Each of us was wearing a simple, short brown tunic over black leggings. The two candidates I hadn’t met stood with their chins high, gazes locked on Jaya. They were focused. Ready. They looked how a queen should look. Then there was Malin who stared down at her boots, shuffling her feet every so often. And of course, me. Instead of watching Jaya, I was scoping out the other candidates, only half listening to her explanation of what the next few days would require.
From what I’d gathered, the first trials usually lasted longer so they used the break as recovery and time to heal if injuries were present. In our case, there didn’t seem to be injuries. Just dead candidates.
“Cassia,” Jaya said, breaking me from my thoughts.
I looked up at her. “Yes?”
“Your meeting will be after dinner.” She said the words as if she’d already given everyone else their schedules.
I nodded while silently cursing myself for missing the rest of the information. There was so much going on in my head that focusing was far more difficult than it had ever been. This wasn’t the time for that. If anything, this was the one time I needed to pay attention. Taking a deep breath, I searched for any reason I might not quite be myself. Aside from the trauma of the last few weeks, I couldn’t think of anything. It was time to push myself.
“Other than your assigned time with the queen and meals, you are free to do as you wish to help you prepare,” Jaya said. “The council will be in their chambers should you want to speak with any of us.”
Jaya’s words made my insides tighten. There was no way I’d go back into that room and face off against those people.
“I’ll see you all at lunch.” Jaya inclined her head toward us, then turned and started toward the door.
I chased after her. “Jaya?”
She stopped and turned back to me. “Yes, Cassia?”
“I was wondering if I could speak with you without the rest of the council around.”
She smiled. “Of course. What would you like to discuss?”
“Well,” I licked my lips, trying to think about how to phrase what I wanted to know. “I never formally learned how to use magic. I’ve had some practice but I’m sure there is so much I don’t know.”
“I see,” she said. “That makes sense given your upbringing.”
“I guess my question is what do you think is the best way for me to learn? I’d like to catch up as much as possible before the challenges begin.”
She leaned in closer to me, her voice low. “Let me give you some advice.”
I waited, holding my breath.
“Magic is inherent. Long ago, there was no training. Everyone lived their lives, trusting their intuition to provide what they needed. Fae experimented, tested, and tried magic as a way of improving their daily lives. After the first war with the human world, they developed the Academy to train Fae. Can you guess what the emphasis was?”
“Fighting,” I said, filling in the blanks of the story. “It was strategic.”
She nodded. “It’s been two hundred years since the war and the Academy is no longer only military but that is its original purpose and its original function. While they teach other forms of magic, the emphasis is on offensive magic.”
“Offensive?”
She smiled. “Exactly.”
For the first time since arriving in Faerie, I realized I had an advantage the others didn’t. I never learned how to fight so all my focus had been on how to protect myself and those around me. I was strategic. Able to defend whereas they’d been taught to attack. I might not win in an all-out exchange, but I might be able to outlast. If I could learn a little more, I had a chance. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Jaya said. “Just remember, intuition over force. Every time.”
She closed the door behind her, leaving me in the large well-appointed room. I turned around and took the whole place in for the first time. I’d been too nervous before to pay attention to anything else. The two candidates I didn’t know were talking in a corner. They leaned close, using hushed tones and rapid gestures. The tall windows along the back wall poured sunbeams onto them, making them look even more intimidating than I already found them. I wondered what they were talking about that had them so engrossed.
Nearby, Malin sat in a blue armchair reading a book. She didn’t seem bothered by the situation. She was calm and leaned back comfortably in the chair. I recalled her desire to not win the competition. My guess was that she would do enough to stay alive but wouldn’t try to stand out. I hoped nothing bad happened to her along the way. She was here to honor her family. Even I’d fallen into that trap with my human family by agreeing to marry a stranger. I understood that compulsion toward honor; the desire to please.
Now that I was in Faerie, with my real mother out of reach, it left me feeling hollow. If not for the princes, I’d be completely alone. My skin tingled at the memory of Ethan’s touch and longed for the familiar comfort of my mates. We were all in the same position, though. They allowed none of us to see our consorts or our families until the trials began. We were all on our own.
Malin set down her book and looked up at me. “Cassia, right?”
I felt the eyes of the other candidates on me. “Yes, and you’re Malin.”
She smiled. “You remembered.”
“It’s impossible to forget after what we went through.”
She gestured to the empty chair next to her and I moved to it, grateful for something to do.
The other two candidates walked over to where we sat and took the chairs facing us.
“So, you’re the queen’s changeling,” one candidate said with a sneer. She was stunning. A willowy brunette with sapphire eyes. Her pointed ears and delicate nose made her look like every fairy tale image I ever had of a Faerie. Even in her drab brown tunic and black leggings, I could tell her limbs were long and strong. She had a presence about her that screamed royalty. Even though I’d never met her before in my life, I knew at once, she was my greatest competition.
My jaw tensed and I lifted my chin, trying to show that I wasn’t intimidated by her despite my twisting insides. “Cassia. My name is Cassia. And you
are?”
“Lilian,” she said.
“I’m Rose,” the other Fae said.
I flinched, then turned my attention on the candidate that shared my human sister’s namesake. She looked nothing like my sister, who was a nearly identical copy of myself. This Rose was fierce. Her black hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head. Her dark eyebrows and grey eyes created a stark contrast against her fair skin. Her cheekbones, nose, and chin were as sharp as the points on her ears. She was a warrior. I could tell she was here for the same reason as Malin to fight for her family’s honor. But she was missing something that Lilian possessed. It was as if she’d be more at home protecting a queen than running things. I wondered if that was where her heart was - in battles and warfare.
I smiled at that thought. She was nothing like the Rose I’d grown up with. That Rose fled at the first sign of trouble, happy to have someone sweep in and rescue her.
“Is something funny?” Rose asked.
“Not funny, exactly,” I said. “Your name. I knew a human woman with your name. She was terrified of everything and I have a feeling you’re afraid of nothing.”
Rose smirked, showing her pointed teeth. “That’s true.”
“Who was this human?” Lilian asked.
“Well, they raised me to believe she was my sister,” I said.
“You must miss her,” Malin said.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rose said. “How could anyone miss a human? They’re vile and horrible creatures. You must be celebrating now that you’re finally free of them.”
My brow furrowed. Was this how most of the Fae thought of humans? I thought about the humans I’d met in the Winter Court and how terrified they’d been at first. But they’d come through to help Tristan, to support their new allies in the hopes for a better life, through trade and expanded alliances.
I didn’t want to see the human world cut off from Faerie. Humans could be terrible, that was true. But so could the Fae. “Humans aren’t so bad.”
Lilian wrinkled her nose. “Then why don’t you go back to them and leave the ruling of Faerie to the true Fae?”
“I am a true Fae,” I said.
She stood and Rose followed her example. Both of them looked down on me. “If that were true, you wouldn’t have needed your mother to allow you to stay in the trials. They should have kicked you out after not passing the last trial.”
I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes at the two Fae towering above me. I stood and Lilian and I were eye-to-eye. There were a thousand things circling my mind but as Lilian stared at me with her self-satisfied expression, I realized she was trying to get under my skin.
Relaxing my shoulders, I softened my expression. “Then you have nothing to worry about, do you?” I smiled at her. “May the best candidate win.”
Chapter Four
The palace library was a massive room lined with huge bookshelves four stories high. It smelled of parchment, dust, and something floral I couldn’t pinpoint. A wide staircase led to the second floor where a series of tables and books on pedestals dotted the hallway sized circular floor space. The whole space allowed you to look straight down to the ground floor, with each of the other four floors providing small work areas. Suspended walkways circled the room at varying heights, complete with sliding ladders for reaching the books on the upper levels.
It would take hundreds of human lifetimes to read even one section of the books included here.
“May I help you?”
I turned to see a silver haired Fae staring at me. He wore burgundy robes and his flawless, unlined skin shimmered with the same silver tone as his hair. He wore several earrings in each ear and had dusted his cheeks and eyelids with gold powder.
“Yes, please,” I said.
“I am Amir, the palace librarian.” He swept into a graceful bow, his long arms sweeping in front of him. “How may I help you today?”
“I’d like to learn more about the history of Faerie,” I said. “Do you have any recommendations?”
His eyes lit up. “I’ve been the librarian here through three Queen’s Trials. Did you know that you’re the first candidate who has come with such a joyous charge?”
“What did the others ask for?”
“Weapons, warfare, spells, poisons,” he said.
“Poisons?” A chill spread through me. “Should I be worried about that?”
“It’s Queens Trial,” he said. “You should worry about everything.”
I took a deep breath as I considered his words. Maybe I should ask about those other things. I thought back to Jaya’s advice. Sticking to my intuition and my strengths. I wasn’t a warrior. I could defend myself and I would fight if needed, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to prove that I belonged here and that I was worthy of ruling this land.
“Would you like to look for something different?” Amir asked.
“Maybe later,” I said. “I’d like to start with history.”
Amir smiled. “Excellent choice.”
I followed Amir up the staircase toward one of the walkways.
“Wait here,” he said. Then, he walked out onto the suspended walkway and climbed up one of the sliding ladders. He gave himself a push and slid along the track, coming to a stop a few seconds later.
Amir ran his fingers over the spines, then climbed higher, checking another shelf. Finally, he selected two books, and with a push, the ladder came sliding back to where it started.
He walked back to where he’d left me and then handed me two books. “Start with these. I think you’ll find them helpful.”
I took the books from him. “Thank you.”
“When you’re finished, come back. I’ll send you with something else.” Amir looked pleased with himself and I couldn’t help but like him.
I wondered how often he had company in this massive room. Just then, footsteps echoed on the marble floor below. I moved closer to the railing to look down to the floor below. Rose and Lilian were standing in the middle of the room, hands on their hips. From their body language, I could tell they were waiting to for help.
I frowned. Neither of them was queen yet and they were already acting like they were better than everyone else.
“You can stay here or take the books elsewhere,” Amir said.
“Hello? Anyone here? We need books,” Rose called.
“Thank you for your help,” I said to Amir.
He smiled and nodded, then turned away from me and walked down the stairs to where Rose and Lilian were waiting.
I watched from my vantage point above, curious if I could hear their discussion. Lilian’s voice echoed through the library as she addressed Amir.
“We need books on humans. Their weaknesses. Their home lives. Everything,” she said.
My brow furrowed. That was an odd thing to want to study in the short time we had before Queen’s Trial. Unless she thought I was human rather than Fae, I didn’t know how that would help her.
“Also, economics,” Rose said. “Specifically, the economic impact of human labor in the days of old.”
Human labor? Was that their big plan for Faerie? My chest tightened and my face heated. There was no way I would let anyone win this thing when that was their goal. I knew I didn’t like them but to hear them already scheming about how to hurt humans was too far.
Amir didn’t comment on the subject choices. He simply lifted his hand, indicating they should follow him.
Thankfully, it was the opposite direction from where I was standing. I quickly ran down the stairs and out of the library, hoping they didn’t notice me as I left.
Alone in my room, I set the books down and then walked over to the large window. Looking out, I could see the sides of the palace’s stone walls and an orchard of trees alight with reds, oranges, and golds. Beyond the trees, fields of yellow grass seemed to stretch on infinitely. I knew that somewhere out there was the protective veil that kept the palace hidden from view. As part of our brief before the first dinner, the head gu
ard had let us know that nobody was allowed in or out of the palace perimeter without proper credentials for the duration of the Trials. I still wasn’t quite sure how Ethan had managed a visit last night, but I was grateful that he did.
Now that I was alone and knew that that it would be a while before I saw a friendly face, the luxurious room I was staying in felt more like a prison cell.
How was I supposed to do this? Rose and Lilian clearly wanted me to fail and the strategy they were taking wasn’t a good sign for me. While I knew I was Fae and their attempt at finding human weakness wasn’t going to hurt me, the fact that they were interested in studying humans at all was disturbing.
I paced the room, wishing I had someone to talk to. Cormac. I needed to speak with Cormac. He was the voice of reason. He’d know exactly what to do. But that wasn’t possible. I was stuck here alone.
Plopping down on the pink chaise, I wondered what my next steps should be. That’s when I realized that I didn’t know how to survive in Faerie on my own. Not really. I was rarely alone. I covered my face with my hands. Here I was, queen hopeful, lamenting over the fact that I had no help.
Dropping my hands, I stood. That wasn’t what a queen should be. I should be able to have confidence in my own decisions. While accepting the wisdom and support of others was part of being a good queen, I’d learned that in the first trial, it wasn’t the only way to be successful in the position.
The two books were sitting on the table near the door. I walked over to them and pushed the top book over so they were sitting side by side. The first was book was The History of Faerie. The second made my brow furrow. Changelings in Faerie.
Despite the questions I’d asked about changelings, answers had been difficult to find. Yet, here was an unsolicited answer at my fingertips. Now that I had this, how much did I want to know?
Hesitation hung heavy in my chest. Was there a reason why nobody wanted to talk about changelings?