Whatever Arises, Love That

by Matt Kahn

  Although the Universe is masquerading both as a child within your heart and as the parent to this inner child, the highest destiny of divine will is for this child to emerge as the master that you already are. You are here on this planet going through the evolutionary process of becoming a living spiritual master, similar to the way a seed grows into itself as a fully blossomed flower. While a seed exists as the living potential of a flower, until it is planted and given permission to sprout roots, it cannot actually become the truth it has always been.

  In this reunion of cosmic innocence, you are already a spiritual master who incarnated to consciously grow into the absolute potential of your true eternal nature. In order to reveal the master within you, it is essential to allow love to be your most natural response. When self-love isn’t your immediate reaction, see it as an opportunity to welcome the next one in line to be supported, cherished, and embraced as never before.

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  A Master Revealed

  EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER, I’ve always been what you would call an empath—one who is able to feel the emotions occurring in the bodies of others. While I had very advanced empathic abilities from an early age, they weren’t honed and focused in any way. As a result, I was wide open, constantly feeling the energy of the world and what was unresolved in the bodies of people around me. On a regular basis, I had the innocent misunderstanding that what I felt emotionally in another person was actually their opinion of me. This led me to spending the majority of my childhood trying to cheer everyone up. For so many years, I thought changing how someone felt would allow them to like me—even though I was already well liked and could never quite accept it.

  Despite everyone’s efforts to offer approval and validate my existence, I couldn’t truly accept that I was liked by others. This was due to a mixture of feelings I felt around people and how contrary this seemed to the words they spoke. I remember being around children and even adults who actually smiled at me, yet I always felt so much anger and sadness within them. I would often think, Am I the cause of their sadness? Are they angry with me? Did I do something to upset them?

  Throughout my childhood, “Are you mad at me?” became the most common question I would ask. Of course, many years later, I would come to learn I was intuitively picking up on layers of emotional debris in the other person’s energy field. Just like many energetically sensitive children, I spent the first phase of my life caught in a cycle of vibrational codependency. I felt everyone else’s experience and couldn’t relax in my body until everyone around me was more at ease. It was an exhausting way to live, and yet, I seemed to be a kid on a mission. For some reason, it felt more important to help others feel better and contemplate the mysteries of the Universe than anything else the world had to offer.

  While I was raised in a very loving family and had a wonderful childhood in many respects, I was very much an adult in a child’s body. The frenetic energy of other children was often too much for me to handle. I always preferred a playground when I was the only child there. As soon as a band of wild kids invaded the swing set, it was my cue to leave. Looking back, I was frightened by the energy I felt within them and intimidated by how rough they played. My kind of fun was much more passive. I loved dancing in the joy of imagination and talking with adults.

  Anytime adults spoke about the deeper aspects of life, I felt the energy in the room shift into a more expansive state. I didn’t know what was happening, but I liked how it felt. This attracted me to anything that caused such a shift to occur. It seemed as if the expansion of energy allowed me to feel relaxed in a way that was so often missing from my life.

  Whenever I was able to feel this profound depth of relaxation, I was no longer so overwhelmed with other people’s feelings or in need of making anyone feel better.

  An Empathic Misunderstanding

  These spontaneous expansions of energy became the first of many unexplainable mystical experiences that I encountered. Like so many naturally intuitive children, I was open and receptive to the higher realms of the Universe, without knowing them to be anything other than “how life is.” Once I began talking about my experiences, I was amazed to learn how unique they were. This confused and astounded me to no end. How was it possible that everyone else wasn’t able to feel and see what I was feeling and seeing so clearly?

  I share this with you because perhaps you too are empathic and on a similar journey. It can be painful, overwhelming, and confusing not to know how to make your way through a world where you might be inundated by the emotional heaviness of others and distracted by the patterns that other people are resolving within themselves.

  As empathic beings, we often feel the emotional barriers in the hearts of our friends and family members but misunderstand it as proof of a lack of love toward us. This can lead to feeling as if we must not be worthy enough for love. It can also lead to believing that maybe we haven’t worked hard enough to earn their approval. Of course what we are innocently doing is blaming ourselves for other people’s experiences.

  In many instances, all we know is I don’t feel what I wish to feel, and I’m going to do everything in my power to free the people around me of their burdens so there’s nothing in the way of them loving me the way I want to be loved.

  When we feel affected by other people’s burdens or limited by what others can’t provide us, this can serve as a reminder that we deserve more love, not less.

  Entering the Garden

  While vibrational codependency inundated my life, there were recurring mystical experiences that quickly turned my childhood into a mystery that I was determined to solve. I remember being around a group of adults when I happened to say something that stunned everyone into silence. While they seemed amazed by the wisdom that seemed to effortlessly flow out of me, I had no idea what I was saying. When I was asked how I knew what I had said, my response was, “It’s like whispering into my own self’s ear.” While the group of adults marveled at my seven-year-old response, I had absolutely no idea why they were so astounded, nor did I even know the meaning of the words that I spoke. This became the first of many instances in which I would say things that amazed others without having a single clue as to what I was talking about. Like many naturally intuitive children, I wasn’t mature enough to understand the human condition or to acknowledge the depth of insight that came forth from my young self.

  During that time, I was mostly attracted to any subject matter that created an energetic shift. I remember stumbling upon books on UFOs and ESP. When the energy within me began to shift just by scanning each page, I was instantly fascinated with every subject of paranormal phenomenon. For some unexplainable reason, the idea of moving objects with your mind, flying, or even time travel seemed oddly familiar to me. While many kids were interested in becoming star athletes on the football field or basketball court, I was like a different type of athlete in training. My sport was tapping into the unlimited power of the mind.

  I remember being so fascinated with the mystery of psychic superpowers. It wasn’t as if I was determined to prove any of those abilities were real. I already knew in my heart how real they were and just felt soothed by the expansion of energy that I felt when I experienced them.

  If anything, the doubt and skepticism many people had toward these topics made me feel like I was living on the wrong planet.

  Some of my more pivotal mystical experiences occurred when I was ten years old. I remember a little brick wall dividing my friend’s house from his neighbor’s property. When I walked by the wall, something caught my attention and stopped me mid-step. I just stared at the wall. In my mind, I heard a voice say, “I am not the wall. I am not this body. I am the space between it.” At such a young age, I had no idea what any of this meant. I felt as if I would know its meaning sometime in the future, but at the time, I didn’t have the maturity or awareness to acknowledge the wisdom that had been given to me.

  Shortly after that insight, one of my most life-changing experiences occurred
in what I thought was a dream. As it began, I immediately found myself in the most beautiful garden I had ever seen. The colors were so vivid. It was as if various hues of light were pouring out in every direction. It was absolutely surreal and the most loved I had ever felt, especially since love wasn’t an emotion I distinctly remember in my earlier years.

  I knew the relief of peace that came whenever energy expanded, but I never really felt love or even noticed a lack of it. From as far back as I can remember, the predominant feeling I experienced most often was vastness. It felt like an emptiness that was neither full nor lacking anything at all. But now, as I looked around the garden, I instantly felt at home and was filled with an undeniable sense of feeling safe and held.

  In front of me, I could see a field of waist-high flowers. As I began moving through the thick grasses, I suddenly realized I was also simultaneously hovering above them. I didn’t know how I was having two experiences at once or even how I was able to float above things. It didn’t seem to matter since the intensity of love held me in such a magnificently gentle way. As I floated toward the middle of the field, I noticed an illuminated being hovering above them as well. He was about twenty feet in front of me. From my vantage point, he appeared to be a man with dark hair and a beard wearing a white robe that covered his feet. For some reason, he felt very familiar and wise to me. He motioned me toward him, and I just froze.

  Moments later, I began spontaneously floating in his direction. As I got nearly five feet from him, I could see his eyes, but I couldn’t see any pupils. It was as though a river of white light poured out of his eyes. This reminded me of scary movies I had seen in which people roll their eyes up into their head. Why was I thinking of such a thing during this experience? Just having that thought interrupted the flow of the moment. I remember falling through the field of flowers, which then led to falling through the sky until I crashed back into my body. It was only when I landed back in my body that I realized I had left it.

  My breathing was heavy, and I was freezing cold while dripping with sweat. As I attempted to process this experience, I noticed the same man who had hovered above the field of flowers. This time he was standing in my doorway as an outline of chalky white energy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw this being motion me toward him once again. As I looked directly at him, he suddenly disappeared.

  This experience left me with more questions than answers. Even so, the feeling of love from the garden was so immense that it remains just as strong and noticeable at the core of my being after all these years.

  I remember talking with my parents about this experience the day after it occurred, and I noticed their interest deepening with every vivid detail. Once I finished, my father recalled a story in which he had nearly the same experience during an afternoon meditation approximately thirty years earlier. He remembered leaving his body, entering a garden, hovering above a beautiful field of flowers, and encountering a being in a white robe, just as I had.

  This helped me acknowledge a profound sense of interconnection at play that doesn’t need to be understood in order to be explored. From this point forward, I was filled with an all-encompassing sense of awe and wonder, as the love I felt in the garden seemed to guide my every breath.

  Guided by Love

  Later that day, another incredible experience occurred as I walked to a friend’s house. All of a sudden, I noticed in my peripheral vision more illuminated beings outlined in white chalky energy walking on both sides of me. As I saw this, an instinct told me they were spirit guides, who would escort me through every stage of my life. For some reason, it wasn’t strange or exciting, just oddly familiar. I knew they were safe and trustworthy since they emanated the same vibration of love I remember feeling in the garden. That became the first time I had a vividly deep knowing without understanding how I suddenly knew it. As I entered my friend’s house, I saw a framed painting hanging on the wall of his living room. I remember saying, “I know him!”

  My friend responded, “Yeah, Matt. We all know him. That’s Jesus.”

  “I met him last night,” I said with absolute certainty. My friend just glared at me. “C’mon! You didn’t meet Jesus.”

  I remember feeling such an irrefutable knowing that I had met Jesus while not understanding why meeting him seemed so inappropriate or unfathomable. Had I broken a cardinal rule in the Universe? Did this mean I couldn’t celebrate Hanukkah anymore?

  Despite those questions, there was a palpable knowing that many answers would be revealed in the upcoming chapters of my life. All I had to do was stay tuned as the guides lovingly escorted me with every step. It wasn’t as if they were there to give me every answer. Instead, they eased my uncertainties by helping me notice a flow of perfection that was woven throughout all experiences—no matter the outcome they produced. That allowed me to embrace each moment on an existential level while playing the role of a character who often seemed anything but okay with the circumstances at hand.

  After a while, I forgot the guides were even there, as the majority of my attention was consumed by adolescence. Very shortly after my eighteenth birthday, the guides began speaking to me. I remember the first time it happened. It was like a booming voice emanating from within the center of my body. I wasn’t frightened because it carried the vibration of love I remembered experiencing in the garden so many years before. The first thing I heard was a voice saying, “You’re not who you think you are.” For some reason, “Who the heck are you?” was my immediate response.

  From that point forward, I began daily dialogues with my spirit guides while sitting in my bedroom. They introduced themselves as Ascended Masters and Archangels. Each one came with a distinct color to symbolize their vibrational frequency as well as mental pictures to confirm whom I was speaking with.

  As unique as each Archangel and Ascended Master seemed to be, they all transmitted such loving energy. This made it safe for me to openly engage. I also began to notice these dialogues were helping to attune my intuitive abilities into a heightened state of refinement. It was as if these conversations were assisting me in elevating my antenna and adjusting the dial to receive the clearest signal.

  Whenever I spoke to an Archangel or an Ascended Master, I received a symbolic vision of their message. At the same time, I heard their insights as clearly as if I was speaking to someone on the phone. While that occurred, I also felt sensations in my body that provided information, much like how a computer downloads new files. This helped me understand that I had the intuitive abilities of seeing, hearing, and feeling, which seemed to work together in a harmonious sense of spontaneous knowing.

  I had a sense that I was being prepared for something, but I didn’t know what. The answer wasn’t immediately obvious, but it began revealing itself in the most random of places. Out of nowhere, I would receive a sudden download of information and be guided to walk up to someone I’d never met and deliver a message. Every time it happened, I was so afraid of being judged or rejected, along with a fear of offering a message they may not understand.

  I remember thinking, What if I’m just crazy, and I don’t even know it? Thankfully, I never hesitated to deliver a message since the inspiration was so strong. I felt as though I was about to have a heart attack if I didn’t share the message with them. That helped me get over a fear of rejection as well as my belief in self-doubt. Each time it became easier to do so, as every message provided powerful moments of transformation.

  From my perspective, it was like stepping up to the plate with a bat in your hand and not knowing what to do with it. Then, all of sudden, a ball is tossed your way. Before you can even think, your body swings the bat and hits the ball out of the park. While everyone cheers your accomplishment, you remain baffled at the fact that this seems to work perfectly each time, even without knowing how it works or what you’re even doing to make it happen.

  From there, I was guided into spiritual bookstores to deliver more spontaneous messages. I remember catching the eye of the store
owner who asked me if I could offer intuitive readings. The feeling in my body answered with a resounding “Yes,” so apparently, this is what I was supposed to do. People sat down with me and for half a second, I’d have absolutely no idea what to do. Then, like clockwork, it all began to flow.

  While delivering each message freed me from feeling as though I was about to have a heart attack, I still had no idea what was going on. Since it felt so good to be in the flow of energy and everyone got so much out of it, I just went along for the ride.

  Within two months, I was a featured reader at psychic fairs with a regular schedule of clients. To my amazement, the majority of people who wanted my help were other readers and healers. It was as if they couldn’t figure out how I channeled messages in such a clear and compelling way. While everyone else seemed astounded, I was terrified most of the time. I was just following the guidance I received and allowing the feeling of love to carry me along.

  Initially, I was delivering messages to individuals, but it quickly expanded into teachings that I offered to groups. It was as if any assembly of people created a group soul where I was intuitively guided to offer teachings that resonated in the lives of everyone in attendance. At that point, I was starting to get more comfortable in that role. I was trusting in the fact that something I could not explain was happening on a regular basis to uplift the lives of everyone I encountered.