Whatever Arises, Love That

by Matt Kahn

  As you venture into the less conceptual levels of spiritual growth, you will encounter recurring moments of confusion that free you of the memories, ideas, beliefs, and conclusions that bind you to an overstimulated nervous system. That occurs until your body has become an empty vessel for the vibration of love to shine through. Since love is the only thing confusion cannot take from you, it can be recognized as the only true understanding in existence.

  Since it only helps you make room for love, it is your willingness to accept the true purpose of confusion that allows your heart to open. In order to embrace confusion as an unlikely ally, please repeat the following healing mantra:

  I acknowledge that whenever I’m confused, uncomfortable, feeling out of sorts, or mixed up, I accept confusion as an unlikely ally that is only here to help me lighten the load for my journey ahead. When I don’t know where to go or what to do, and even when I don’t know who I am or what I’m not, I remember that I always have the ability to relax into confusion to honor it as a divine catalyst of growth and expansion.

  No matter how confused I seem to be, I acknowledge that its intention is to help me forget what I thought I knew, as a way of integrating such wisdom, which creates space in my life to reveal an even greater truth.

  I hereby acknowledge confusion as a friend that could only be an enemy to righteousness, the shadow of victimhood, a nightmare to entitlement, and the greatest fear of neediness.

  As I allow confusion to be embraced, I can be honest about how confused I am and notice that no amount of confusion prevents me from relaxing—no matter the understanding only I may think I need at the moment.

  I allow confusion to assist in unwinding my overstimulated nervous system so I may discover the true safety that is always within me. By slowing my breath and placing my hand on my heart, I love the one who might not know how powerful of a gift confusion can be.

  When you are honest about your pain and willing to befriend confusion under any circumstance, you have given the Universe permission to guide you into the ever-revealing nature of truth. It is a peaceful, clarifying, and harmonious space of being, where love is the only answer to any question imagined.

  As you become more rooted in your body as a living expression of heart-centered consciousness, you may notice the Universe being as gentle with you as you have chosen to be more soft and supportive of yourself.

  Both pain and confusion are divine catalysts that I call “the uninvited guests.” This means they have a way of showing up often at times you least expect or want them around. There is something extraordinary you can learn by seeing how pain and confusion always maintain their roles as uninvited guests.

  As they show up in the most inconvenient of times and in the most unlikely of places, you can develop a willingness to say:

  While I did not invite confusion or pain into this moment, they are here for an important reason. In the name of befriending my experience with greater integrity, I welcome the uninvited guests that show up to ensure my highest evolution.

  As you acknowledge the experiences of pain and confusion, the only way for them to maintain their identities as uninvited guests is to move out of your field. In many instances, the catalysts you invite to stay seem to have somewhere else to be. Equally so, the ones you deny tend to stick around until they are welcomed.

  When pain and confusion can be viewed as allies instead of enemies, you are able to feel safe in your body under any circumstance. No matter how confusing life seems to be, despite how much pain you happen to be in, or regardless of how many disappointments come your way, your innocence can feel cherished, honored, and supported every step of the way.

  12

  Awakening: What to Expect

  DURING THIS PIVOTAL TIME in history, more and more people are experiencing spontaneous awakenings. Even if it appears that you live in a world in which so many characters are struggling to keep up with the perpetual demands of society or constantly looking for ways to speed themselves up, this is all an essential part of a greater divine plan. An overstimulated nervous system is much like a car engine. The faster you try to make it go, the higher the RPMs will rev, which inevitably results in the combustion of the engine. While you could conceivably live your life at such a frenetic pace, waiting for your nervous system to crack in order for consciousness to expand, loving what arises offers a far gentler and more direct way to enter the doorway of eternal freedom.

  One way of understanding awakening is to examine the role of your nervous system. When put into overstimulation mode, at some point, it may “glitch” and cause the whole process to momentarily come to a halt. As that sudden stop occurs, your consciousness expands to your natural state of being, revealing a perspective that is in contrast to the way you have been conditioned to view life up to that point. The shock between these two extremes can generate serenity, euphoria, a feeling of intimidation, the anticipation of death, or even a sense of fear, as you are catapulted into a perception of reality you may have never noticed before.

  When awakening dawns, and your mind is suddenly quiet, and you can feel everything in your body, which may include the ability to tune into the experience of others, there can be quite an adjustment process. Whether that creates excitement or fear in you, you may not be able to determine where you begin and others end. You may not know what to do with yourself, how to exist, or how to act without a character to portray. You may find yourself asking questions such as, “How do I talk like this? How do I choose like this? How do I go about my day playing a role that no longer seems to be who I am?”

  When a spiritual phenomenon of this depth and magnitude occurs, it is very important to befriend confusion and to be honest about your pain so you don’t misunderstand the opening of consciousness as something to resolve or turn away from. Befriending confusion will help you to see these experiences as an invitation to explore a reality beyond understanding. No matter how clarifying or confusing it may be, you can remain open and attune to an endless wellspring of joy, regardless of what is or isn’t happening.

  Whether these words are a foreshadowing of what will soon happen along your path or help you come to terms with what’s already unfolding, your willingness to love what arises is an essential companion when traversing each stage of realization.

  Even when all sense of who you thought you were dissolves and disappears, it is the perfection of love that propels you from one level to the next. With love as your guide, you are destined to be as integrated, compassionate, and wise as you are liberated, healed, reborn, and free. Even as awakening dawns and it seems as if there’s no one left to be, this doesn’t mean there is no one left to love. When the characters you’ve been playing suddenly disappear, love is always here to embrace itself as the One eternal heart masquerading throughout the bodies of all.

  Whether the door of awakening has already been opened and you wish to bring this journey full circle or you’re being prepared for the most miraculous adventure you may not understand, each fear, worry, and concern becomes your ongoing invitation to return to love. No matter your experience, perception, the beliefs you carry, or the identity that is no longer here, each auspicious moment of expansion allows life to be seen through eyes of the Universe to remember how equally everything matters.

  The Natural Cycles of Expansion and Contraction

  As you come to understand the spontaneous or gradual awakening of consciousness as a glitch occurring in the overstimulated nervous system, it can be helpful to explore in more depth the complexities of this miraculous adventure. When your consciousness expands, your nervous system might be initially unable to hold the vibration of this brand-new frequency. If this occurs, you may notice your nervous system regenerating patterns of overstimulation. It may seem as if your consciousness, that had been so expanded, begins to shut down and return to the behavior of the inflamed personality that your awakening seemed to have rescued you from.

  When such expansion and clarity come crashing down, this can le
ave you feeling as if you’re traveling backward in your spiritual evolution. During those times, it is important to realize no one is at fault. There is no need to blame yourself or anyone else for the natural progression of the way everything has been designed.

  Throughout your awakening, you’ll often get sneak previews of your newly expanded state of being as the Universe provides a taste of the way life will be on a recurring basis. And yet, when your nervous system cannot maintain that expanded energy, it will shut back down. As you return to your conditioned state, you have a chance to reexperience ego with greater consciousness. This helps you revisit unresolved patterns from a much clearer perspective.

  Maybe more definitively than ever before, you start to see that everything exists as perfectly orchestrated catalysts to teach you something about yourself that you may not have known. Since nothing occurs by chance, no experience exists as an obstacle on your path. It could only be the next pearl of insight, merely appearing to be in your way as the most direct means to help you evolve.

  Through a play of contrast, you awaken to an expanded level of consciousness and are able to notice how different things will be once your nervous system is able to hold such a vibration. After the preview is complete, you are condensed back down into the inflamed personality of ego while rooted in a brand-new perspective. By oscillating back and forth between these states of expansion and contraction, you come to see what is exactly the same and unchanging between both extremes.

  This is the silent inquiry of your ever-evolving spiritual journey. Whether you have already been freed of each reference point or eagerly await a permanent vacation from the inflammation of ego, it is an opportunity to recognize that both the one who is expanded and the one who is contracted are here to be loved.

  Throughout the ups and downs of contraction and expansion, it’s as if you are ping-ponging between those extremes to ensure your love becomes unconditional. On one end, everything seems joyous, perfectly in flow, and fulfilling at every turn. On the opposite side, everything feels unsafe, unsettled, and imbalanced as if nothing’s right with the world. It is very natural to oscillate back and forth until enough momentum is built up to help you settle into the middle. It is here that both extremes collapse. There is neither a high nor a low; there is just reality being itself as radiant expressions of truth in action.

  Kundalini and the Energetic Component of Awakening

  While ping-ponging back and forth between the polarities, very unexplainable symptoms and experiences can occur. It can feel like electrical currents are surging through you as if various parts of your body are being struck by lightning. You might feel pressure at the base of your spine, activating the energetic component of spiritual evolution. It is often referred to as kundalini awakening where the energy rises up the spine like a snake uncoiling from the base of your tailbone. As it arises to open your chakras and activate the energy field of your body, the kundalini energy pushes out the cellular memory that does not match the vibration of consciousness awakening within you. It’s as if the nervous system and kundalini energy work together as partners for the evolution of your journey.

  In the beginning, the nervous system purges the initial layers of inflammation to prepare for the energetic component of awakening. When it arises, kundalini energy picks up where the nervous system left off to help release the additional layers of conditioning. Whether released out of your field by either the nervous system or kundalini energy, it may seem that as you awaken, you are triggered by people around you more often. As you’ve come to learn about uncomfortable emotions, whatever you’re feeling, you are healing.

  As triggered emotions are welcomed with more openness and receptivity, they are released to assist you in returning to Source. By loving every emotional outburst or at least loving the one experiencing it, you’re clearing space within your field to assist the kundalini energy in ushering in a new heart-centered consciousness.

  While you may want to hurry past the more tumultuous aspects of awakening, the slower you move through this stage, the faster you progress. As always, the most direct way to accelerate any spiritual process is by relaxing into it. When relaxation becomes another ally on your path, your heart can open to ground the surges of kundalini energy. If you’re unable to relax, always return your attention to your inner child to discover the next one to be loved along the way.

  The “Traffic Jam” of Cellular Memories

  Sometimes as the kundalini energy rises, there can be a “traffic jam” when the cellular memories don’t have enough momentum to leave as quickly as they’re being released. This can manifest as physical illness, exhaustion, apathy, anger, or depression. In the new spiritual paradigm, illness is often recognized as an important sign of transformation already in progress. It is much like someone feeling the intense contractions of labor while not ever knowing they were pregnant.

  Because illness can be a sign of massive energetic expansion occurring in your field, there is no need to blame yourself for it as if physical upheaval is proof of not having done your spiritual work properly.

  Through the rapid energetic expansion of spiritual evolution, the old cellular memories are trying to leave and the emerging new energy becomes “jammed.” This energetic traffic jam can cause your organs to become inflamed or imbalanced, creating the symptoms of physical disease as a way of showing you what needs more attention.

  While the energetic aspects of awakening are not the sole explanation for illness, this is an opportunity to notice imbalances as a chance to be nutritionally congruent and attentive to the needs of your body. Whether you seek the help of a medical professional or an alternative health practitioner, the intention is to provide loving care to the parts of your body where symptoms are present. This allows the ecosystem of your energy field to work in greater harmony for the wellbeing of your journey.

  I share these insights with you so that you are not alarmed or unkind to yourself if during your process of awakening, things are not always comfortable or convenient. By loving what arises, you place yourself in the most optimal position to welcome each experience with the greatest amount of faith, humility, and ease.

  The Pitfalls of a Spiritual Ego

  Throughout the process of awakening, it is common to have powerful openings that reveal miraculous truths about reality. While such experiences verify that you are going in the right direction, they can sometimes be misunderstood as endpoints along the way. While transcendent experiences validate your arrival into a new level of consciousness, it is vital to remember how any stage of awakening always foreshadows the next stage beyond it. When forgetting the infinite realms of realization, there can be a belief that your journey is complete. While patterns of desperation may no longer remain and you might find many symptoms fading into remission, this merely sets the stage for the next horizon of discovery on an endless trajectory of ever-revealing grace.

  In the aftermath of such profound spiritual experiences, a new identity for the ego may emerge. This is where the righteousness of ego can become spiritual righteousness. It feeds itself by correcting the misperceptions of others based on the experiences it remembers having. This is when the victimhood of ego can become spiritual victimhood, begging a Universe to fulfill endless desires or blaming it for taking away its most prized experiences throughout the stages of expansion and contraction.

  When ego is lost in spiritual victimhood, it may even look to the Universe in a superstitious manner, asking, “What do I need to do correctly to earn my way back into expansion?” The entitlement of ego can also become spiritual entitlement. Based on who you have thought yourself to be, or even in the absence of the character you thought you were, it’s easy to become spiritually entitled, as if your experiences somehow make you better than others. Instead of feeling inferior to others by comparison, you can come to believe you are spiritually superior. If this occurs, it’s easy to lose sight of the humility that recognizes each person as a master in training.

 
; Although we are all unique and deserve to be honored for the exquisite talents each of us can express, at our core, we are One, as the supreme reality of Spirit in form. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel excited about a new consciousness waking up within you, but to remember how the uniqueness of your transformation foreshadows the same existential rites of passage arising in every heart.

  Further, the neediness of ego can become spiritual neediness. It can masquerade as intense compulsions, such as always needing to raise your vibration, expand your attention, or be in charge of all that you are aware of. Here, you may find yourself constantly asking, “Am I seeing it right? Is this the clearest view? Do I need to make sure I’m not misperceiving?” While raising your vibration, inquiring into a clearer view of reality, and even expanding your awareness can be wonderful ways to evolve, they cannot assist you in unearthing your greatest discovery if the ego is attempting to take charge of your journey. It is never a matter of whether you are doing the right things or doing things incorrectly, but noticing whether or not your behavior is coming from a space of relaxation or compulsion.

  While a spiritual ego can use a collection of insights and experiences to create a new character to play, this new character cannot exist in the presence of love. It may even be cloaked in a charming persona as the defender of light against the evils of darkness, unaware that such a battle can only be waged between the extremes of spiritually based judgments.

  A spiritual ego competes with love instead of cooperating with it. To cooperate with love is to dissolve into the light of your being. Spiritual egos overlook this step and cannot force it to occur even if there might be greater benefits to behold by trying to make it happen.

  In many cases, a spiritual ego assumes that “who” it has become or the truths that it has realized are a replacement for heart-centered attention. The spiritual ego can insist it is beyond the need for love or judge it as a lesser play, existing only on the personal level of experience. Even if you have realized love to be who you are and have seen how the giver and receiver are actually one and the same, this doesn’t stop the unfolding of love as an endless revelation of truth.