by T. S. Joyce
“I’ll be baking four dozen rice krispie treats for the community center anniversary party tomorrow. It’s pot luck. They always sign me up for rice krispie treats. It’s kind of my party trick. I add M&Ms and chocolate chips.”
The black had faded from his eyes and left only dancing bright blue. “I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue, crush a beer can on my head, am the fastest shotgunner of Bud Light in three counties, and no pie-eating contest at any state fair is safe from me. I can also make two girls come at once.”
“Ramsey!” she admonished him. “Don’t be vulgar. I don’t want to know that stuff.”
“You’re cute when you’re all innocent and shocked. Your cheeks get pink, and your nose squishes up like you’re judging me.” He lowered his voice and leaned forward. “It makes me want to fuck you until you feel dirty.”
Well, if her cheeks weren’t pink before, they sure as heck were now!
“For that, I’m eating the last bite.” Which she did. “Next,” she said around the mouthful.
Ramsey’s grin looked wicked as he pulled a container of mini gourmet hotdogs from the middle of the table toward them. “I bet you would be fun in the bedroom. All naïve, expect missionary style, and then I would turn your entire world upside down in one night. Your head would never be the same. I would get you addicted to me so fast.”
Her cheeks were the temperature of the sun. Mortified, she shoved a mini hotdog into her maw.
“Eat it slower,” he growled. “I like to watch you.”
“I need a second,” she said breathlessly. Jerkily, she stood and bounced this way and that toward a small two-stall bathroom made of old rusted panels of tin and gritty iron trim. The inside was lit by a strand of outdoor lights. She stared at her reflection in the old, flawed mirror but couldn’t seem to catch her breath. He was doing something to her body, but she couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. Ramsey was the most terrifying and exciting man she’d ever met.
He was also very, very dangerous. Oh, he could fight, she’d seen that, but that’s not what she meant. He was dangerous to her. He was already paired up and still too interesting for his own good. He talked filthy so easily. He had lots of practice at this, was a skilled hunter, and Vina was just…Vina.
She should heed that biker’s warning and run. Save herself from getting addicted, as Ram had put it, and go live a normal life where her head wasn’t jaded from a man who cared nothing for a heart like hers.
But…
Maybe she wanted a change.
She huffed a breath, shook her head in the mirror at how terrified she looked, and then washed her hands just to feel the cool water on her skin. She made her way back outside, chin lifted high. She would not let him play with her like some bored cat on a mouse.
She parted her lips to say as much, but he shocked her to her toes when he looked her straight in the eye and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk to you like that. You deserve better.”
The reaming she’d been prepared to give him got stuck in her throat, and she choked on the word, “W-what?”
“You ain’t like the girls I’m used to.” He shrugged up one shoulder. “I’m trying to decide if that’s a good thing, but until I do, I should act right around you.”
“Act.”
“Yep, act. This isn’t in my nature. I like to push people.”
“But you don’t want to push me?”
“Not yet.”
Whatever that meant. Primly, Vina sat back down beside him. “Your gentlemanliness is accepted. As well as your apology.”
Ramsey grinned a feline expression. “It was sexy watching you snarf down that hotdog, though. You’ll have to open your mouth wider when you take me.”
Vina’s ears were now on fire. “Are you done being evil?”
“Never. But I will pretend for a while.”
“Why did you fight those two men yesterday?”
Victory. She’d shocked that gloating smile off his sexy face. “That’s Club business.”
“Ooooh, is that how it is with Crow Chasers? You boys keep all hush-hush about everything that happens with club politics. The girls aren’t allowed to know anything. Sounds like we’ll never have anything interesting to talk about. I can’t wait.” She snarfed another mini hotdog, but this time chewed with her mouth open and stared at him, daring him to find her attractive.
He arched up one eyebrow and sighed. “Crow Chasers know better than to ask.”
“Newsflash—I’m not one of them.”
“No, you’re not. I suspect you aren’t like anyone.”
Well, that was kind of flattering. She chewed with her mouth closed as a reward for him.
Ramsey pointed to a beer bottle in front of her. It matched one in front of him. “I got you a drink.”
“Trying to get me liquored up?”
“They sell whiskey here. If I was trying to get you liquored up, I would be bringing you shots. Nah. This is payback for you talking to my crow.” He cleared his throat and paid attention to a basket with three street tacos in it. “I wasn’t so nice when you first met me, and you still look at me like I’m not a monster. I’ve been wanting to repay you for showing me patience when I didn’t earn it.”
“Another apology?”
Ramsey’s Adam’s apple dipped low as he swallowed hard. “Something like that.”
“You’re bad, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” he admitted low.
“It’s who you are?”
Another “yes” graced his masculine lips.
“If it’s who you are, you shouldn’t have to apologize all the time.”
Ramsey froze, mid-bite of taco. And then he chewed it slowly, studying her face with narrowed eyes. “You’ll just accept me the way I am.” He sounded suspicious as hell.
“Until it hurts me, yes. I’m not here to change you or mold you into a person who can match me. Live your life. Be you. Let me do the same. And if there comes a time when you hurt me with the man you are…then it’s time for apologies.”
“How will I know when that time comes?”
“I will cry,” she told him matter-of-fact. “I never cry. If you bring me to tears, you’ve messed up badly.”
Ramsey chewed on the side of his lip for a few seconds and then nodded. And then he leaned over to her, his face so close, for a second, she thought he would kiss her. She hoped he would. But instead, he hovered there, gaze dipping to her lips, and then he straightened again, taking her beer bottle with him. There was a chain on his jeans where a small bottle opener dangled, right near his beltloop. Like he’d done it a thousand times, Ramsey popped the bottle cap off and handed it back. And after he’d done the same for his, he did another cheers, except this time, unlike the one with their forks, he added words to the toast.
She thought they would be profound, the way he looked her so directly in the eyes, but what came out of his mouth was, “Here is a toast to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.”
Vina giggled and tinked the neck of her bottle against his. And then she took a long draw of the frosty beverage to match him.
“I think it’s sexy when you eat your food like an animal,” he muttered through a grin.
“Oh, zip it. I was trying to turn you off.”
“Mission not accomplished.”
Vina swatted him in the arm, and that’s when she heard it for the first time—his laugh. It was deep and booming, and the smile that came with it was stunning. Oh, that boy had been in the mud for a while but God, his smile could light up a night.
“Are you one of them shifters?” a man in a baseball cap asked loudly from a few tables over.
The laugh died in Ramsey’s throat immediately as he leveled the man with a look. When Ramsey didn’t answer, the man took off his old sweaty baseball cap, tossed it on the table, and wiped his forehead with a napkin. “I asked if you were one of them shifters. The crow ones.”
“I’m just trying to enjoy a meal with my girl,” Ramsey sa
id, leaning back from the table. “But if you want to row, I imagine I could rearrange your face and be back before her beer got warm.”
The man spit tobacco on the ground and held up his hands in surrender. “Just an innocent question. You gotta crow patch on your vest, and your eyes keep changing colors.”
The clearing went quiet as people focused their attention on Vina and Ramsey. What the heck? She knew the Two Claws Clan had outed shifters to the public, but the Darby Police Department so far had stopped it from spreading too far and wide. The video of a polar bear shifter Changing in town hadn’t even made it to the mainstream media outlets yet and had been deemed a hoax by most.
“Where did you hear about crow shifters?” Vina asked him.
“You people got websites now. One of them matchmaking ones went public.” The man jammed a finger at Ramsey. “That one looks like one of the guys on the website. And come to think of it, so do you.”
Shocked, Vina forced her gaze back to Ramsey, but he was frowning down at his phone. “What the fuck?” he murmured.
“What’s happening?”
“Drink that. We need to go.”
Panicked, Vina started chugging her beer.
“Slow,” Ramsey encouraged her. “You’re safe.”
“I’m sorry to say this,” a woman said a few tables back, “but ain’t none of y’all safe no more.” She held up her phone to a video of a news anchor’s grim face. “The news is breaking this story right now.”
Ramsey’s phone dinged. And dinged again. And again. Vina’s vibrated in her pocket, and when she pulled it out, there was a text from her mom. Where are you?
Ramsey looked calm and collected as he turned his phone volume down and shoved it in his back pocket. He leaned forward on both elbows and gave her a kind smile. “Trouble can wait. Ain’t nothing anyone can do to stop this now.”
Vina, I’m worried. Your face is on the news. Where are you?
Her mom would start calling relentlessly if she didn’t answer her. I’m safe, she texted, and even though this was the moment shifter lives would be changed for always, she really believed it.
Ramsey was a monster, but he’d told her with such confidence that she was safe.
Perhaps he didn’t realize it yet, but he was her monster.
Chapter Ten(Ten)
What did a respectable lady wear to a Red Dead Mayhem party? Oh sure, all hell was breaking loose, but Vina was choosing to ignore it for one day. One day, and then she would pour over the media coverage. One day, and she would figure out exactly what the human population thought of shifters. One day just to enjoy the fun time she was having with Ramsey and the new world he’d introduced her to.
Trouble could wait. Well said. She knew trouble was at her front door, but she didn’t have to let it in until tomorrow.
Today, she just wanted to have another night where she wasn’t alone, eating a TV dinner, and wishing for a crow to land in her tree.
Today had been amazing, and she didn’t want it tainted by the things the public said about the kind of creature she was. No, she wasn’t a runner by nature, but she could ignore the crap out of a problem.
Vina tapped her chin with her pointer finger and puckered out her lips in thought as she surveyed the plethora of ripped-up ho-clothes, as she liked to refer to the garments. She’d laid them all out across her bed in a tiny hoard. Ramsey had explained the clothes looked this way because of the biker culture, which she hadn’t really given much thought to when she’d sent in her application to the matchmaker. She’d focused on “crow.” Not all the stuff that came along with a crow. Which, as it turned out, was a vastly different lifestyle than her current one. Was she going to have to get a tattoo?
There was this black fitted T-shirt, or this one, or this one, or the pink one, or this one over here that was black with silver sparkles. Ramsey had seemed to light up when she’d tried on the silver sparkles one. But she felt a little silly dressing in Harley stuff the first day of ever riding a motorcycle. Plus, he wasn’t the boss of her. Sure, she really really liked the way his face went all thirsty when he looked at her in her new clothes, but she was still herself. So she marched over to the dresser and compromised.
Black skinny jeans from her new haul, but the black sparkly sandals were hers, and so was the plum-purple flowy tank top with the high neck and a ruffle around the collar.
Now she was ready for beer pong, or whatever it was those rough-and-tumble men did at a party.
Her sensitive moose hearing picked up the throaty rumble of the Harley long before Ramsey turned onto her street. She already had the tenor of his motor memorized. Vina settled the long strap of a small purse across her chest and locked the front door. But when she turned to greet him with a wave, he was frowning at the pink lawn chair she’d left in her front yard.
Was this from last night?” he asked as she approached.
“Yes.”
“You waited for me to come?”
She stopped right beside his motorcycle where he stood straddled with both boots on the ground to balance the machine. No use lying to a crow. Birds saw every twitch of a face. They had pinpoint focus and paid attention. “Yes, I waited for you.”
Ramsey scratched his short blond beard with his thumbnail and then crossed his arms. His tattooed biceps pushed out against the thin white cotton material of his T-shirt. His eyes looked so blue as he studied her lawn set-up. “And the beers?”
“You’re making me feel pathetic,” she admitted, dropping her gaze to the spiderweb cracks in the concrete.
“What are the beers for?” he asked again.
“I thought I would see if you wanted to Change and talk to me. Last night. It was nice looking forward to your visits. I got spoiled on them quick.”
“You lonely?”
Vina shrugged. “Isn’t everyone in some way?”
Ramsey searched her eyes, but whatever he was looking for, she hadn’t a guess. “I locked myself in the bathroom last night so I wouldn’t come here.”
“Why did you do that? I felt silly waiting for you out here.”
“I did it because I was trying to spare you.”
“From what?”
Ramsey’s nostrils flared slightly as he inhaled, and then he huffed a sigh. “I was trying to spare you from me.”
“Because you have a mate,” she said low. She’d been too chicken to ask him about it over hot dogs and bison hash at the food trucks. But this was something she did need to know. It would change the course of their relationship. She wasn’t the type of girl to go after another woman’s man.
“I told you she didn’t have me back.”
“Is she still alive?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my gosh.” She shook her head over and over as thoughts tumbled around in her head. “I had convinced myself she was dead, that you were a widower, because that’s the only thing that made sense. Crows mate for life,” she said, wanting to retch on those words because that was why she was here, and he’d already given his animal to another.
“True. I am stuck with her.”
“Then why are you even here?”
“Because a selfish part of me wishes to be stuck with someone else.”
Ache consumed her heart, and with the wave of pain, she took a step back. That answer felt like a blow to her heart.
“I have a mate, but I didn’t matter the same to her,” he murmured, settling the motorcycle on the kickstand.
“What do you mean?” The air was so thick now she was having trouble dragging in a good breath.
“You said you weren’t a runner.”
“But I didn’t matter to someone else, Ramsey. I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be a replacement. Or second-place mate. Or some sick way to fill a void. I want to be the main event!” Okay, she was panicking.
Ramsey looked pissed. “Get on the motorcycle, Vina.”
“Screw you, Ram. I’m not here to mind you. I was here to bond, nothing more.”
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“Nothing more? Nothing more!” he barked, dismounting the bike and stalking her step for step. “It’s day one, and you’re asking for everything.”
“Wrong! It’s day four. I’ve been talking to your crow all week! Investing my time already. And I was hopeful, Ram!”
He ticked his head, and his eyes turned the color of the night sky as he approached with deliberate steps. “Hope is a slippery slope, Vina.”
“Stop right there!” She held out her hand. “I can’t think. I can’t think,” she murmured. “Wait. Just…stay back. Stay there.”
“Why?”
“Because when you get close to me, my head gets all messed up.”
“You mean cloudy? Where you can’t think about anything but what I’m saying? About my voice or every expression my face makes. Like that?”
“Yes,” she said on a breath.
“That’s big. So no, I ain’t gonna let you push me away over something I can’t do anything about. Get on the motorcycle!”
“I don’t want to go to the party.”
“Me either. You know what tonight is? It ain’t a party, Vina. It’s a celebration of life.”
“What is that?”
“A funeral. And I don’t want to fuckin’ do it. I don’t. I have to say goodbye to one of my people, and I’ve buried so many lately. So many. And do you know what that does to an Alpha? It guts him little by little. You know what else destroys an Alpha?”
“No.”
“A broken mating bond, Vina.” He swallowed hard, and his pitch-black eyes pleaded with her as he repeated softly, “A broken mating bond.” He sighed. “Day four. Okay, we’ll count the nights you’ve spent with The Crow because this week I was actually able to think about something else other than the fucked-up hole I dug myself into. And I don’t want to do this funeral without you. You’re fun, and light, and you have this energy about you that feeds the darkness in me, makes it less…needy.”
“That’s not fair on me,” she whispered. “I’m not just here to feed you.”
“I know. So let me show you something before you shut that door on me. Let me take you somewhere I never thought I would take anyone. Somewhere I hate, but I think you need to see it to see me.”
