Zombie's Excellent Adventure

by Zack Zombie

  Then the robots started shifting. . .

  “And just because you destroyed what I spent 30 years trying to build. . .”

  And then the robots started combining. . .

  “That doesn’t mean I can’t still destroy you!”

  Then Momma Mabel jumped into the pile of robots, and they all started to transform!

  TSCHE-CHU-CHU-CHE-CHE-TSCHE!

  “So get ready to be destroyed by. . . the THERMOMINATOR!”

  I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  But there she was, with her huge metalloid robot body and these giant, long probes for hands.

  CHUK, CHAK!

  “ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE?”

  I clenched my butt cheeks so tight, I started farting candy corn.

  “RUN!”

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  Me and the guys all scattered before she blasted us into next week.

  “It’s not over!” Momma Mabel yelled.

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  “After I destroy you, I’m going back in time to make Notch sign over all of Minecraft to me!”

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  “MUAHAHAHAHA!”

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  We all hid behind some trees behind Steve’s house.

  “Hey, guys, what are we going to do? She’s too powerful,” Skelly said.

  “Well, whatever we do, we have to destroy her Time Portal or we’ll be eating grass every day for like, ever,” Steve said.

  “I’m scared, Zombie,” Creepy said. “HSSSSSS. What are we going to do? HSSSSSS.”

  “We can try to all attack her at once,” Slimey said. “But I don’t know if it’ll be enough.”

  Then I looked over at Steve’s garage, and something caught my eye.

  “Oh, yeah, I think all of us will totally be enough!” I said pointing to Steve’s experimental portal.

  We all looked at each other, and we all knew what we had to do.

  Then Steve threw a smoke bomb potion to create a diversion.

  Then when Momma Mabel wasn’t looking, we all ran and dived head first into Steve’s garage. . .

  FFFZZZZZZZSSSH!

  Wednesday,

  Even Later That Day. . .

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  “Where are you? You little wretched mobs?!!! Momma Mabel yelled.

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  “You can hide as long as you like, because I am going to eventually get rid of all of you hostile mobs, and Minecraft will be mine once and for all!”

  PFFFZZT! BOOM!

  “Well Mabel, what you have totally underestimated about Minecraft Mobs. . .”

  THUMP!

  THUMP!

  THUMP!

  “. . .Is that there is more to us, than meets the eye!”

  “AUTO-MOBS, ATTACK!”

  “NOW, STEVE. . .FIST PUNCH!”

  “HYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

  BBBBBBOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

  Mabel didn’t know what hit her.

  I kinda felt bad punching a girl. . .in the face. . .

  . . .but I think Mabel totally deserved it.

  “Hey, guys, she’s getting up!”

  “NOW, SLIMEY. . .SUPER JUMP BODY SLAM!”

  BBBOOOOINNNNGGG!!!

  KABOOM!

  “Man, she’s super strong! That should’ve put her down, but she’s still getting up!”

  “SKELLY. . .BOW AND ARROW, NOW!

  THWIP!

  KRESH!

  FZZZZTTT, BBRRRRTT, BOOM!

  “Yeah, that did it. It totally fried her circuits!”

  “NOW, CREEPY. . .FINISHING TOUCH. . .DROP THE BOMB!”

  HSSSSSSSSSS. . .

  PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFRRRRTTTTTTT!

  “Ewwwwwwwww!”

  . . .ERRRRRRRR. . .CRASH!

  “She’s out cold! We did it!”

  We were so excited, we just started jumping up and down, celebrating.

  That is, until when we heard the police sirens.

  So then we jumped back into Steve’s Portal and turned back to normal.

  But instead of the regular police, it was the Cyber Police that surrounded us.

  “ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” somebody with a megaphone shouted.

  We just stood there frozen with our hands up.

  Then, suddenly, a black van pulled up and the front door opened.

  “You guys can put your hands down now,” a guy in a fedora said.

  “Hey, look, it’s Notch!” Steve yelled.

  “Notch!”

  We were so happy, we just tackled him with hugs.

  “All right, you guys. It’s good to see you too.”

  “But I thought you sold out to MicroCraft?” I asked Notch. “So what happened?

  “Well, when I saw you last, I was about to sign my baby over to MicroCraft. But, when I saw them take you away, I remembered your letter.”

  “What letter?” Steve asked.

  “Oh nothing. . .nothing,” I said. “Go on, Notch.”

  “Well, I couldn’t give up my baby that easily, so besides making sure they fired that witch Mabel, I created the Cyber Police to make sure nobody ever messed with Minecraft ever again.”

  We were so happy to hear that, that we tackled Notch again.

  “Oh, and by the way, there’s one more thing I made sure to change,” Notch said looking at me. “Hey, Zombie, you want a job? There’s a Mob Game Coder internship that I think you’d be perfect for.”

  “Me. . .seriously?!!!”

  “Yeah, it’s there whenever you want it,” Notch said.

  Whoa! That was like the best news I had ever heard.

  I was finally going to see my dream come true.

  “What about me?” Steve asked. “You know, I am the ‘Chosen One’ after all.”

  “Well, you just stick with your Roblux game,” Notch said with a smile. “Just keep working on that name.”

  “So what are you going to do with Momma Mabel?” Steve asked.

  “Well, we have a special device in the basement of the Cyber station that I think would be perfect for her. It’s kinda old school. I think they called it the Sheepinator,” Notch said.

  “Seriously?!!!”

  “Naw, just kidding. I think she’s going to have plenty of time to think about what she did after a nice, long and very hot stay in the Nether Fortress.”

  “Nice!”

  Sunday,

  a few days later. . .

  Well, Minecraft is back to normal again.

  And now, not only is Minecraft better than ever, I’m going to start an internship to become a game developer tomorrow.

  And who knows, maybe I’ll be part of the team that releases he next Minecraft update.

  I think they said it had something to do with oceans or something.

  Anyway, me and Steve were finished with our time traveling for now.

  Well, forever actually. That’s because the Cyber Police took away our Time Portal and Momma Mabel’s too.

  But the Cyber Police did let us keep the Craftformer portal.

  They said something about calling us in case they ever have another cataclysmic world-ending event.

  Now, me and the guys did combine a few more times.

  It really made our Craftformer games so much more fun.

  But it got kind of weird when we started to become too much like each other.

  I mean, I got really tired of smelling my own farts.

  But Steve and Skelly still use it to play pranks
on Villagers, though.

  Momma Mabel is in Nether Fortress now.

  They got her scooping Ghast poop most of the time, which serves her right.

  But, I think I might go visit her soon.

  I know, why would I want to visit that witch, right?

  But you know, she just wanted to make Minecraft safe for kids, which was pretty cool.

  Even though she was a bit. . .

  So, maybe she’s not that bad deep down.

  Like deep, deep, deep, deep down.

  But you know what I really learned from my Excellent Adventure?

  Well, I learned that you should never put candy corn where it doesn’t belong.

  I also learned that instead of worrying about all the mistakes you made in the past, you should probably just think about how you can learn from them, so you can become a better person.

  And, I learned that you can sell your gaming company for a kazillion dollars and still not be a sellout.

  So tomorrow, I start my internship to be a game developer.

  And, who knows, maybe I’ll come out with the next awesome game that changes the world.

  Or at least makes it a better place for kids everywhere.

  Or. . .makes me a kazillion dollars.

  But however it turns out, I know it’s going to be. . .

  Most Excellent!

  Find out what happens next!

  Zombie, Steve and their friends discover that they must visit the Ocean monument to help prevent the world of Minecraft from being plunged into the depths of the sea!

  They’ll have to battle of the biggest and weirdest undersea hostile mobs ever. But can they save Minecraft from being plunged into a watery grave forever?