Where I Belong

by Stella Andrew

  I caressed my best friend's face gently. She didn't touch my hand as usual. It lay limp on her sides. I could hear her Mom crying out aloud. Ryan trying to take me away. But I couldn't leave Sarah alone. What if Noah tries something again. You can never be too sure. I remained by her side. I threw a tantrum when the nurses tried to wheel Sarah away from me. My parents were called in. Ryan broke down. My friends had arrived. Everything around me was happening in a rush but my world had stopped.

  I started laughing hysterically, plopping myself down on the ground. The fear in my parents' eyes as they looked at me was still in my mind.

  It had taken a week for me to accept the truth. That's when I broke down crying and locked myself in my room, shutting the curtains and drowning myself in darkness.

  Sarah was gone. Forever

  The sound of heartbeats brought me back to the present. Removing myself from Ethan's grip, I stared at him blankly. His T-shirt was drenched. He stared back at me. Is it pity or worry I don't know. My chest heaved unsteadily with my irregular breathing. I was going into shock.

  "Amelia,"

  "Mia!"

  There was so much power in the voice that called out to me. Looking up I find Adrien. He was trying to catch his breath. Why is he panting?

  The look of worry on his gentle features were replaced with relief, then anger.

  "You fool!" He yelled so loud, I flinched. "Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?"

  His gaze sets upon Ethan, and his glare deepens.

  "What did you do?" I've never heard Adrien sound so mad. He was practically growling.

  "She looks dead. The same way she did when she first arrived in Lyon. What the fuck did you do Beckham!?" Adrien snapped. Ethan remained silent.

  Suddenly behind Adrien, Ninnon and Pierre appeared looking panicked. Ninnon rushed to me and pulled me to my feet, throwing her arms around me and sighing in relief.

  Warm. Why does she feel so warm? I realize I was shivering.

  "Amelia." Pierre voiced out with a weak smile. Ever since I got here, he has never shown this expression.

  Adrien took his blazer off and forced me into wearing it. I was only with my shirt, having left my blazer back in the classroom. He then grabbed my hand and started pulling me away from the group. Ethan was now on his feet.

  "She needs to get back home." He said to the other three.

  "You." He said nodding at Ninnon. "Bring her stuff over to my place." It was more like an order, but Ninnon accepted anyways. He quickly read out the address and dragged me away. I followed behind like a lifeless puppet.

  The house wasn't far away from school since uncle Cam wanted to stay closer to the school in case of an emergency and he was needed. All the way to the house, Adrien didn't let go of my hand. Once we arrived, he unlocked the front door and pulled me upstairs ignoring his Mom's calls.

  He pushed me onto the bed and shut the door, leaning on it while staring at me, looking as if he was trying to figure out some difficult puzzle.

  "What happened back there?" He finally spoke. I remained quiet staring blankly at my hands.

  "Mia!" once again I flinch when his tone rose. Slowly I make eye contact. He looked furious but his eyes held so much disturbance.

  Why? Why do I always make trouble for him? Why when I'm supposed to be lifeless I feel so secure and protected with him here?

  Adrien didn't say another word but kept looking at me expecting me to say something. Finally, the silence getting too overbearing, I speak.

  "Ethan did nothing wrong. He was only lending me a shoulder to cry."

  "Cry?" He asked and that's when he really, I mean really looked closely at me and saw the messy state I was in. Realization dawned on him.

  "You... you told him everything?" He asked and I give him a solemn nod. Adrien clicked his tongue, looking unpleased. He runs a hand through his hair, then uses both hands and messes his hair while groaning.

  "You alright?" He looks me in the eye. If I was my past self I would surely have wisecracked on the way his hair stood up. It was even more ridiculous than Pierre's.

  Alright? How could I be alright? I was far from being alright!

  "Are you getting along with the others in the class?" He did a whole 360' turn to change the topic. But this only made me scowl. Sighing he took a step forth and with three strides stood in front of me. Crouching he looked me in the eye.

  He's never done anything to approach me other than during lunch, so I stare at him speechless. Even when at home he keeps a distance like I'm the plague.

  "It's time you let go of it all Mia."

  Let go? Of what?

  He understood I was clueless.

  "Your past. Of what happened. Everyone knows it wasn't your fault. Neither was it your friend's." Adrien made sure he didn't mention her name. "What's happened is done. You have no power to change it. You being like this, so... so miserable and pathetic drowning yourself in darkness and not letting anyone get closer is breaking the hearts of your dear ones. That includes my parents and Camille. It’s high time you step out and live your life. For your sake and hers. I bet she's watching over you and yelling at how stupid you look."

  Unbeknownst I crack a light smile. That's so like Sarah. To always scold me for being a worry-wart. Tears brimmed in my eyes and trickled down my face.

  Getting to his feet, he walks to the door and opens it but doesn't walk out.

  "The best way to start living your life once again is to let it all out and share your grief with others. Starting with your friend or whatever those three are," he says hinting to Ninnon, Pierre and Ethan. He leaves, shutting the door behind him.

  How will things turn out, if I revealed the truth?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  What usually awaits me when I pass through the school gates in the morning are the stares and watchful eyes. The hateful stares of the majority of the female population and their silent prayers to god to make the earth swallow me whole for always walking beside their so-called prince charming. And then there's those who stare at me trying to figure out why I'm still in their school. It's pretty much exhausting having to walk through all this and enter the classroom. But today my attention was elsewhere. Ninnon, who is always early and seated in class ready for lessons to begin is standing a few feet away from me by the entrance. She seems to be waiting for someone.

  Today is the day of the most awaited school festival. Adrien left early which was a shock to the world, for final preparations. There has never been a festival which hasn't been praised by the public, so mistakes were not an option. Which is why the lazy bone is working hard.

  I walk up to where Ninnon is. She looks my way and gives me a light wave.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask and she raises a brow.

  "Good morning to you too." She replies. I give her a sheepish smile which catches her off guard. Well, I can't blame her. It's not like I've been all sunshine and glory since I transferred.

  It’s been two days since the incident with Ethan and Adrien. I stayed away from school afterward, unsure of how to face Ninnon, Pierre and Ethan. More importantly, I was unsure of myself. But now I suppose I’m ready.

  "I was waiting for a certain blockhead." She cuts through my train of thought.

  I stare at her confused.

  "Since when do you and baseball head meet up and walk to class together? "

  Her eyes widen when she gets what I mean and slaps the side of my arm.

  "Don't even joke about it. Who would stay for that cerveau d'oiseau? I was waiting for you. You!" She scoffs. Ninnon rarely uses, no scratch that, she's never used French words when speaking to me. I guess I ticked her off.

  "Ever since that day, you never came to school. As we never exchanged phone numbers, I had no way of contacting you to see if everything was alright. When I came to hand over your bag, it was Vice Prez's Mom who answered the door and told me regretfully that you were asleep. I've been waiting patiently for you to return." Ninnon says sighing.
I give her an apologetic smile.

  "Sorry about that Ninnon. I bailed on you that day, leaving you to handle all the work." I say. Ninnon and I had been in charge of filling a dozen balloons with water. My class is hosting a water balloon brawl booth. Where you have to hit a certain target with three balloons given to per person to win prizes. Or something of that sort.

  While in the midst of filling the balloons, I started feeling sick with my thoughts clouded and left leaving Ninnon behind without a word.

  "Yeah, you bailed on me as you put it. I kept waiting but you never returned. I looked everywhere possible, but I couldn't find you." She says to me as we start walking towards the school building. "So I went to the only person, I knew who could help me."

  I stop and look at her curiously wondering who this person is. Would it be uncle Cam?

  "The Vice prez." She finishes taking e by surprise.

  Woah. What?

  "I barged in on his meeting with the Student Council President and Secretary. When I told him you were nowhere in sight, the look on his face startled me, Amelia. A mix of worry, fear, and tension. I've never seen him so- so nervous. He just dashed out of the room and I followed him. I don't know when and how, or from where he appeared but when I looked behind me I saw Bird brain following us."

  And just like how it happened the other day, Pierre appeared once again. He's skipping while waving eagerly at everyone he passes. He suddenly comes to a halt when he's within eye reach and stares at Ninnon and me.

  "Ameliaaaa!!!" he yells and dashed towards me with his arms wide open. Throwing them around me he engulfs me in a bear hug, while somehow managing to choke me to death. I'd rather slap him hard and kick him to the moon for his death assault, but today is different. I'm different. So I welcome his embrace. It's also pretty obvious he had missed me.

  "Are you alright!?" he yells unaware of how close we are. I flinch at the loudness and throw him a glare. First, he tries to kill me and now he's planning to make me deaf. Some passing by students stared at us curiously.

  "Yeah, why not yell and let the whole school know something had been wrong with me." I scowl. He gives me a playful grin. I groan at his childishness. This guy!

  "In all my years here, I've never seen the school so lively," Pierre says as he looks around in awe.

  I'd been so occupied with baseball head and Ninnon, I hadn't glanced around. Sure enough, the school did look very much lively. You could definitely feel the brimming energy in the air. Students and teachers were scrambling about to put finishing touches to the stalls and booths. Food stalls aligned from midway of the entrance to the school building. Colorful flags, banners, and posters were hung up.

  "Wow, all your life? You've been in school for what, like 60 years?" Ninnon scoffs at Pierre's stupidity.

  I ignore their bickering and continue staring at every single detail.

  Adrien pops up in a distant. He's with a group of students who were talking to him in a rush while showing him some leaflets or a book or something. It's hard to tell from where I'm standing. No matter how much troublesome or delinquent-like Adrien looked, he's still looked up to and admired by the students. The Student Council President and the Secretary were with him.

  Adrien's eyes meet mine, and unintentionally I stand up straight without slouching.

  Woah what is with me?

  He throws me an arrogant smirk. The jerk. Being the brat I am, I stick my tongue out at him. Wow, real mature Amelia.

  He stares dumbfound while the President chuckles clearly finding this amusing. He gives me a gentle smile but I look away. I'm not gonna smile at some stranger I barely know just cause he's the school idol and has a pretty face.

  He seems taken aback, surely not having expected this kind of a reaction. Clearly, no girl has ever done something like turn her face away when he smiles. Well sorry to burst your bubble dear Prez, but I’m no typical French girl who’d swoon at you.

  The students who were with the Student Council members scurried away and the three of them walked our way. Adrien hits my head lightly with the book he’s holding.

  “Morning girl who sleeps weirdly.” He says as he’s passing me with amusement in his tone.

  Weird way? Why would he say that?

  Wait.

  Oh, my fucking shit!

  This morning when I woke, I found myself on the floor, with my legs still on the bed. My shirt was raised showing off a great deal of my stomach and my hair sprawled all over the place. Don’t tell me he actually saw my ridiculous sleeping position this morning!?

  I stare at his back mortified. He turns back slightly and seems to understand I figured out what he meant. He holds back his laugh very painfully, wanting to burst out at any moment. My scowl deepens.

  “Oh, and one more thing.” He says. What more could ruin my day? “My rolled omelets are Mia free today.” And he disappears out of sight along with the Prez and Secretary who also seemed like they wanted to laugh. I click my tongue in a very unladylike manner. I wasn’t able to sabotage his omelets today. Shit!

  “Well aren’t you two all lovey-dovey this morning.” A new voice enters. It’s Ethan.

  Wait did he just use a cliché word as lovey-dovey?

  “Ethan.”

  “Hey. Nice to see you again miss I-just-left-without-a-word.” He says, a smirk playing on his lips.

  Seriously, what’s with guys and their smirks!?

  I feel slightly guilty towards him more than Ninnon. I mean after everything, I just left with Adrien. Okay more like he dragged me away but still. Ethan deserved more than just a yell from Adrien and me walking away even without turning back once.

  “Can I talk to you?” I ask him and he gives me a nod. I ask Ninnon and Pierre to go straight to the class and I’d meet them there. Pierre clearly wanting to join the conversation left with a pout, while being pulled away by the blazer sleeve by Ninnon.

  Ethan and I walk to the back of the school. The place wasn’t entirely empty but there were fewer students which was a relief.

  “So?” Ethan speaks up, pushing his hands into his pockets and staring at me.

  “Ethan... I- I’m truly very sorry for leaving that day.”

  “well, you had no choice. That guy dragged you off,” he says with a shrug.

  “Yeah, but still. I feel guilty. After you opened up to me about your past and I told you mine and just cried my eyes out on your shoulder, you should have gotten a proper goodbye. “ I apologize.

  Ethan places a hand on my shoulder. I look up at his face which held a warm smile.

  “It’s alright. I don’t mind. I’m just happy you opened up to me.”

  I smile back at him appreciatively.

  “It’s nice to have you back. I was worried when you didn’t show up at school for two days straight.”

  “Yeah wanted some time to clear my thoughts.”

  And so with few words passed between us, we make our way to our classroom.

  Somehow or the other word had gotten to almost every ear in school that I’d killed my best friend.

  The rumors circulating me was that I’d murdered her over a boy.

  Like what the fuck?

  Sarah and I fought over Noah? Puh-lease. He’d be the last boy I’d ever crush on!

  How dare these French kids spread such rumors. How do they even know about Sarah’s death?

  Ethan was as surprised as me. I’d never doubt him. I know he’s not the type to spread rumors nor give out my secret. Mocking and disgusted looks were thrown my way. Confused I keep walking towards the class. Some second years bump into me almost knocking me off my feet.

  “Hey!” I yell but they walk off snickering. Ethan asks me if I’m alright and I nod.

  “What the hell is going on?” I mumble to myself and continue heading to class.

  When I enter the classroom, all eyes are on me. Vivienne and crew look at me scornfully. The kids who were starting to get along with me were now staring at me with surprised expressions.

/>   What’s going on?

  “If it isn’t the murderer.” Vivienne’s sidekick, Noelle blurts out.

  “Noelle!” Theodore, the class president yelled. “There has got to be an explanation.” He turns and looked at me with worry and disappointment.

  “What’s going on? Why are you calling her a murderer?” Ethan backed me up. Vivienne swayed her hips left and right as she made her way towards us. She stopped in front of Ethan and batted her long fake lashes before turning to me, glaring at me like some girl with Aids.

  “You shouldn’t be supporting this girl Ethan love. It is bringing down your image as well.” She cooed as she turned back to Ethan who stepped back, not wanting her to touch him.

  “Whatever it is, can someone say it out to me clearly?” Ethan spoke aloud before I could demand an explanation from anyone.

  “We heard some unfortunate news about Amelia,” Theodore says looking forlorn.

  “And that is?” Ethan pressed.

  “That she killed her best friend.’ Theodore finished. Everyone turned and looked at me to see my reaction to this. If they thought I’d feel guilty and run away in shame, they’re dead wrong.

  I felt my blood boiling. I bet if someone touched me right now, they’d burn up.

  “Amelia? What is he saying?” From the back Ninnon’s voice came up. She pushed some kids aside and came to the front, looking at me with confusion.

  Pierre too stood beside her waiting for some kind of an explanation to clear this mess.