Lost (Bad Boys with Billions Book 1)

by Laura Marie Altom

  I got up, fished out the can, rinsed it, then put it in the recycling bin.

  Nathan leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, sneering at me. “Sometimes I really miss Rose Springs. Recycling’s a pain in the ass—kind of like you.”

  His statement hurt, but I couldn’t blame him for being mad. When we’d moved into this place, we’d been a team. Now, I think we both sensed I was on the verge of moving out. I knew Liam wanted me to live with him. More importantly, I wanted to live with him. Waking this morning alongside him had made me jubilant. The sun, the surf’s rhythmic rolling crashes, the warmth radiating from his hold, the fact that I’d slept the night through with no light, just the certainty of my love—all of it combined into a glowing ball of joy that resonated in me far greater than even my soaring Frisbee. I loved Liam.

  I wrapped my arms around Nathan, resting my head on his chest. “I’m sorry. Please, try to be happy for me.”

  “How can I, when he’s only going to hurt you?”

  Liam

  “Do you love her?”

  I sipped from my aged scotch. Owen’s question couldn’t have come at a worse time. We sat on opposite ends of my office’s sofa, staring out at the setting sun. “Funny, that’s the second time in an hour I’ve been asked that.” Carol had hit me up first.

  “Well?”

  Christ . . . I raked my free hand through my hair.

  “It’s not that hard of a question. Either you love her or you don’t. If you don’t, let her go. Knock off this contract BS I know you’ve been working on with Garrett, and cut the strings.”

  “What if I can’t?” What if the thought of not having her with me for just this one night is making my chest ache? Was she with Nathan right now? Was he trying to convince her to stay with him?

  “Can’t love her or leave her?”

  I arched my head back and groaned. “Both.”

  “Look . . .” Owen swirled his dirty martini. “Me and you go way back. I think it’s pretty safe to say I know you better than anyone. That said, I’ve never seen you like this. I don’t know shit about Ella, but I know you, Liam, and this girl’s got you tied in knots—just the way Nat used to have me. I was there the night your mom passed. I’ve seen what that did to you, but dude, you’ve got to get on with your life. Fucking marry this girl. Have babies. Have her sign a pre-nup and if it doesn’t work out, shower her with cash and go your separate ways. But what if it does work? What if she makes you as soul-deep happy as Nat makes me?”

  I looked at my friend to find his eyes shining and his lips curved into a sappy-sweet smile.

  “It’s true—happy wife, happy life.”

  “Marriage?” I shook my head. “That’s a huge step. You were with Nat years before you popped the question.”

  “I also lived in a shitty basement apartment with you and Garrett. Where was I supposed to have put her? If you get tired of Ella, hell, store her in one of your eighteen houses.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I only have six—I think.”

  “Whatever. You know what I mean. Stop letting fear and old insecurities screw with your life. Do you ever stop to think how fucking blessed we are? I mean, seriously. You could have it all. The only thing you have to do is marry her. You don’t need ironclad contracts or schemes to keep her in your bed, just a ring.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “You make it sound so simple.”

  “When you find the woman you love, it is. Marry her, Liam. Your days of being hurt are over. You’re in control now, and I promise, no one’s ever going to hurt you again—they wouldn’t dare.”

  The entire drive to my Palo Alto home, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Owen had said. He really had made marriage seem easy, but I’d grown up in the fallacy of that statement. At one time in their lives, my parents had to have loved each other, so what had gone wrong? What led my father to become a raging lunatic and my mother suicidal?

  My housekeeper had left pork chops and trimmings. I heated it up and carried it into the movie room to eat. But instead of The Bourne Identity, I saw erotic ghosts of the night Ella and I had shared.

  I turned off the movie and ate the rest of my meal in the kitchen.

  I washed my own dishes.

  Would Ella be proud?

  I rambled through the vast house, realizing the only personal mementos I had were awards the interior designer wanted to showcase and photos of Owen, Garrett and me during Phoenix’s early days. My favorite was a shot taken on a booze cruise during that trip to Cabo. Poor Garrett looked hung over and Owen held out a photo of Nat, as if he were pretending she’d been there alongside him, sharing in their good time. I’d never noticed it before—the picture within the picture. I’d never placed significance on the fact that on the trip, Owen had practically spent more time on the phone with her than with me.

  Why hadn’t Owen brought Nat with us? Had he been afraid of what we’d say? More specifically, what I’d say? Back in those days, I wasn’t yet far enough removed from being the class punching bag, but I’d showed them. I’d showed them all—especially my disgusting father. Yet in all my years of proving to everyone how talented I was, and how worthy I was of their admiration and love, I’d forgotten to love myself. And I’d sure as hell never taken the time to love anyone else. That is, until now.

  I did love Ella.

  But what was I going to do about it?

  In my bedroom, before climbing into the shower, I took my phone and punched out a text:

  I’m excited about tomorrow night.

  Moments later, she answered:

  Me, too! I miss you.

  Aw, I miss you, too, but you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder . . .

  Are you saying your heart cares about me? Maybe . . .

  I smoothed my thumb over her smiley, wishing I had the real version beside me now.

  I picked out your dress this afternoon. It’s the color of your eyes. Swoon . . .

  Wear your hair up. I have a surprise.

  What is it?

  If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.

  Meanie!

  That made me laugh. She acted so tough, but inside, she wasn’t any harder than I was. We’d both liked to pretend we were hard as steel and unstoppable, but now that we’d each shared our vulnerabilities, we’d also opened the door to other things. Things like waking up next to each other every morning, and riding bikes down winding trails, and once again celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter and President’s Day. Yes, my life with her would be different, but also better in every conceivable way.

  I love you.

  There was a long pause, then:

  Oh, Liam, I love you, too.

  Her words made me bold.

  Good night, my little kitten. Sweet dreams. Sweet dreams . . .

  I couldn’t stop grinning. Looked like I had more shopping to do . . .

  Ella

  I didn’t recognize the face staring back at me in the mirror Mimi had brought to the apartment. I wasn’t just beautiful in the blue crushed-velvet gown that perfectly matched my eyes, but radiant. My love for Liam seem to glow from my every pore. I didn’t just love him, but adored him. Sure, he still had his issues, but didn’t we all? I couldn’t wait to get to the party. To walk in on his arm, and have everyone in the ballroom know he was with me and I was with him. We were at long last together. And I couldn’t be more pleased.

  I wished Nathan would have stayed to share in my happy moment, but he’d claimed to be having dinner at a friend’s. I hoped he was telling the truth. I couldn’t bear knowing he’d spent New Year’s alone. Maybe one day, when he found a woman to love who loved him in return, we could be happy together and share Friday-night double dates. Until then, it was probably for the best that he wouldn’t be here when Liam arrived.

  “You’re gorgeous.” Mimi placed the final crystal pin in my hair. The style she’d created was upswept as Liam had requested, but also a complex nest of looped, crysta
l-studded curls. “Stand up, so we can add the finishing touches.”

  My neck looked long and regal, and white crystal Louboutins added five inches to my height.

  Rocco had a pair of long white gloves. He held them out, helping me tug them on, then released a sentimental sigh. “I’m jealous. I wanna fall in love.”

  “Aw, you will.” I crushed him in a happy hug. “Do you have any prospects in mind?”

  “Don’t you let him pull the pitiful act.” Mimi adjusted my plunging neckline. Sharing my disfigurement with Liam made me realize the scars didn’t define me any more than my marriage to Blaine. All of that was behind me. All I had to look forward to was good. “He’s got three guys wanting to ring in the New Year with him, and he still hasn’t decided which one.”

  “The guy I really want is Liam,” he said with a grinning pout.

  “Sorry,” I delivered a playful smack to his upper arm, “but he’s taken.” A knock sounded at the door.

  The Frisbee in my stomach soared, and it was accompanied by dozens of helium balloons and iridescent bubbles. Never in my life had I felt more gloriously alive.

  I forced a deep breath, then faced my friends. “You’re sure everything’s perfect?”

  “You’re breathtaking,” Mimi assured me.

  Rocco rolled his eyes. “Girl, now you’re just fishing for compliments. Go on, open the door for your prince.”

  Liam

  I saw her—my precious Ella—and knew the decision I’d made was right. I saw not just a spellbindingly beautiful woman, but my wife. The mother of my children. Children we’d raise together the way we’d deserved to be raised. My throat tightened and my eyes welled, but I held back my tears. Tonight would bring only smiles. As I never had before, I felt my mother beside me. So much so that I’d placed my favorite photo of her in my tux pocket, nestled right alongside Ella’s ring. I prayed that she would anoint herself with that magnificent diamond. I prayed for her to give me the strength and wisdom and courage to make my marriage what hers wasn’t.

  “Hi,” Ella said, placing her fingers to her throat. “You look . . .” She smiled. “Perfect.”

  “You, too.”

  Behind Ella, Rocco, the stylist who’d helped me size her dress, held the back of his hand to his forehead, faking a faint. I took this as a good sign.

  “Ready?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Rocco said.

  Ella and Mimi laughed.

  “You’re a mess,” Ella scolded. “And haven’t we already had this talk about Liam being my man?”

  He sighed, waving his hands at us to go away. “Go on, I’ll give in this time.”

  Mimi brushed him aside and gave Ella a hug. “Get out of here, and have fun. I’ll clean up and leave the key under the mat.”

  “She won’t be needing it,” I said, confident she’d be coming home with me—for good.

  After more giggles and hugging than I quite understood, we were finally on our own, with me holding Ella for safety on our way down the stairs.

  “You got us a limo,” she said when we exited the building to find the driver and vehicle waiting outside.

  “I didn’t buy it,” I teased.

  The driver opened the rear door. “Good evening, Ms. Patton. If you don’t mind my saying, you look lovely.”

  “Thank you,” she said.

  I helped her in, closed the door, then walked around to the other side.

  When I sat next to her, she asked, “How did he know my name?”

  I laughed. “He gets paid well to know all sorts of things.” As if on cue, the dividing window glided closed. “For instance, how to be discreet.”

  I leaned over to kiss her and felt as if after a long journey, I’d finally come home. She made me feel at peace. As if all my pain was gone. Erased. Cleansed by her love.

  “I’m kind of nervous,” she admitted. “How many people will be there?”

  “Five hundred—give or take a few.”

  When she whistled, I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “It’ll be all right. We’re in the VIP section, which means we don’t have to see anyone if we don’t want.”

  “I actually want to see everyone. I want to show you off.”

  I kissed her again. “Funny, I feel the same about you.”

  “Where are we going?” she asked, apparently just having noticed that instead of crossing the Golden Gate to enter the city, we were now headed down a desolate dirt road.

  “Remember my surprise?”

  “It’s out here?” Her eyes widened. “Liam, did you buy another house?”

  That really made me laugh. Although tonight, as high as I felt, I had a feeling someone could read me a stock report and I’d crack a smile.

  I took her hand, easing her cool, white-satin-covered fingers between mine. “Promise, I didn’t buy a house.” Though I spent enough to have purchased one. I took a black satin blindfold from my pocket. “Mind if I put this on you?”

  She giggled. “Liam . . . Mimi worked extra hard on my hair.”

  “I promise, your hair is safe with me.” I lowered my voice. “Although I can’t make any guarantees about the rest of you.”

  “Good . . .” she said with a breathy kiss that sprung my cock to life.

  The driver finally stopped.

  Seconds later, he opened Ella’s door, offering her his hand to help her outside.

  I exited and met her on her side.

  “Mr. Phillips,” I said to the driver. “Would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?

  I’ll call you when we’re ready to head to the hotel.”

  “Certainly, sir.”

  “Where are we?” Ella asked after the driver was on his way. She shivered, and I removed my coat to set it over her bare shoulders.

  “On top of the world.” I carefully removed her blindfold, in the process, unwrapping the stars and all of San Francisco, spread like glittering jewels at her feet. The moon was high and almost full, casting her in a pale gossamer glow. She gasped. “It’s beautiful!”

  You’re beautiful. The view was nothing compared to her.

  “Thank you.” She wrapped me in a hug, and I remembered the skittish kitten she used to be. How afraid I’d been to even whisper her name for fear she’d bolt. Now, she came to me.

  How far we’d both come. “This is an amazing surprise. I love it.”

  God, I loved her. The fact that she took so much pleasure in merely seeing a pretty view.

  “Babe, there’s more . . .” I removed the large, square jeweler’s case I’d tucked in my empty pocket. “Taa-daa!” I opened it with a flourish. “Happy New Year!”

  In a scene right out of Pretty Woman, she gasped, then covered her mouth with her gloved hands. “Are you kidding me?”

  “Nope.” The vintage sapphire and diamond necklace drank from the moonlight, then sparkled like the stars. “Do you like it?”

  “Liam . . . I . . .” Her eyes teared. “I don’t know what to say. I’ve never even dreamed of owning something like this.”

  “I’ll put it on you.” When it was in place, I added matching earrings.

  “This is too much. You could feed a third-world country with what these must’ve cost.”

  “How about you keep the jewelry and we’ll feed a country anyway? You can even pick which one.”

  “You do know you’re crazy?”

  I laughed. “You might’ve mentioned it a time or two.” We kissed.

  “Ready for one last gift?”

  “You’ve already given me too much.”

  “Just one more, and I promise to never give you another thing.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far,” she teased. “But this is way more than enough for tonight.” I gripped the ring box in my other pocket and my pulse went haywire.

  Was I really doing this? Asking Ella to marry me?

  I grinned. Yeah. Hell, yeah. I flipped open the box while it was still hidden from her view, then tugged out the ring. The diamond was obscene. S
he’d need an armed guard to wear it to lunch. I didn’t care. I was only doing this once, and I wanted her to have the very best the entire world had to offer. When we walked into that party tonight, I wanted everyone in my world to know she was mine.

  “Ella . . .” I forced myself to breathe. “We’ve been through some tough times and some wonderful times. But I think—I mean, I hope—you’ll agree that together, we make an awesome team. You make me feel whole again, and that’s something I haven’t felt in a very . . .” Instead of smiling, she looked panic-stricken. “Babe? Are you okay?”

  “No, no, no . . .” A low groan began deep in her throat. “Please tell me you’re not doing this.”

  I pulled out her ring. Took her left hand. “Ella, you’re going to marry me. Right away. You’re always going to be mine, because I’m making you my wife. No more contracts—well, unless you count our marriage license.” Like a nervous dunce, I tried slipping her giant ring on her ring finger, but it wouldn’t go on over the glove. “Babe, help me get your glove off so I can put on your ring. You’re going to die when you see how big it is.”

  By now, she wasn’t just crying, but sobbing, and I just stood there like a tool, gripping her ring in my hand.

  “Babe, please tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t like the ring—if it’s not big enough— we can call the jeweler tonight.”

  “Liam, shut up! I-I can’t marry you. I-I thought you knew.”

  My stomach seized. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. What was she talking about? Right now, she was supposed to have been wildly kissing me, already chattering about plans for her flowers and gown. I vaguely remembered her once referring to her pig husband in the present tense, but that had just been my own fear scrambling her words, right? No way we’d gotten this far with her still being legally attached to another guy? She wouldn’t play me like that. “I don’t understand. You thought I knew what?”