Songs For Cricket

by Terri E. Laine

  I was glad he hadn’t heard Billy. As much as I’d wanted to punch the guy, we didn’t need a fight until we’d proven ourselves on the field. Otherwise we would be labeled as troublemakers and possibly kicked off the team. I needed football to remain in school. My scholarship depended on my participation.

  “Are you okay with Finley playing?” I asked.

  August didn’t look thrilled, but his shoulders rose and fell. “She’s always wanted to. There’s no stopping her when she wants something.”

  Except your dad, I thought to myself.

  “Besides, she’s better than what we’ve got,” he added, then switched subjects. That was code for he’d talk about it later when there weren’t so many ears around. “This place is sick.”

  “It is. They said it’s supposed to be a home away from home. I think they just want us to play here instead of partying at the Omega house.”

  I hung up my equipment in the open locker.

  “For sure. Do you want to go to the café and get breakfast?” I nodded. “Cool. I’m going to grab a shower.”

  I got dressed, having already taken one. Today was a light day. Tomorrow would bring full on pads. I wasn’t exactly sure how I would handle Finley’s presence every day. She was already on my mind constantly. Seeing her, and possibly with Billy, made my gut clench.

  More muttered conversation about her had me heading outside afraid of what I might do. I couldn’t blame the guys being curious about her. She was gorgeous and could kick the hell out of a ball. I just couldn’t be around them while they gossiped like chicks.

  Out front, I leaned back on the wall watching a parade of girls carrying boxes. They wore school colors, the logo branded on tiny shorts and fitted shirts.

  After they headed inside one by one, I rested my head on the wall and closed my eyes.

  “Hey, Shepard.”

  I found the short brunette from last night standing directly in front of me. She was cute, I’d give her that. But she wasn’t Finley.

  “Hey,” I answered when things got awkward.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  I shrugged. She curled a finger. “It’s a secret.”

  Her shirt was low cut, and her tits were fantastic. Still, she wasn’t who I wanted. But I bent down anyway. There was no harm in hearing her out, or so I thought.

  7

  finley

  I left Coach’s office with a smile. The team had lost their punter and only had their kicker, Devon Bryant, to handle both positions. After we’d been broken up in groups, Bryant and I had been tested. I beat him every time in kicking drills but sucked as a punter. Coach decided for now, I was on the team.

  My head had soared so far in the clouds, I nearly stumbled over my feet when I walked outside.

  I’d texted August, and he said that they were going to the café for dinner. I was far too excited and nervous to eat. I’d planned to enjoy the walk home.

  But why did I have to see Shepard lip-locked with a cheerleader? I left so fast, I nearly jogged home to get away. The only reason I didn’t is because of the fear he’d see me running and guess at my silly misguided feelings for him.

  I put my earbuds in and set the shuffle on my happy playlist to get back in the right frame of mind. It wasn’t like I didn’t know Shepard would be a catch for any girl who wasn’t me.

  When I got home, I climbed the stairs in a somewhat better mood. The room was bare, and I couldn’t wait for my things to arrive. Too bad we hadn’t packed earlier like Mom suggested.

  After a shower, I sat and looked at my phone. I hovered over the send button a second before I mustered the courage to just do it.

  The phone rang a few times.

  “Beatrice, I don’t have a lot of time. I have a meeting in a few minutes.”

  Dad refused to call me Finley, and it was never worth the effort to fight him about it. He was only asserting his authority. After all, he had insisted that be my name.

  “Daddy.” I hated sounding like a little girl and took a cleansing breath. “I did it.”

  No warmth or nicknames for me when he spoke again. Just straight to the point. “Did what?”

  “I made the team,” I said as my heart raced.

  “Great. I’ll tell your mother, so she can add your game schedule to her calendar. I’ve got to go.”

  Before he could hang up, I said it. “Not soccer, Daddy. I made the football team as the kicker.”

  Silence. It was louder than anything he could have said in that moment.

  “Are you doing this to embarrass your brother?”

  Not brothers because August was the golden child, even though Cooper was the actual sports star out of all of us.

  “No, Daddy.”

  I couldn’t stop using that little girl word as tears filled my eyes.

  “Well, you’ve made your point. But now you have to quit.”

  “I won’t,” I said, adding strength with conviction.

  “You’ll just get hurt and cause undue attention to this family.”

  “Maybe, but then you might notice you have a daughter and another son.”

  I did something I’d never done before. I hung up on my father.

  Tears stung my eyes before they leaked out. I got up because August couldn’t see me like this. He’d pester me until he found out why I was upset. Then it would be World War III between him and Dad. I’d be the cause of their fight and would ultimately be blamed for any strife between them. It’s happened before.

  I threw open the door, and Shepard was there as if waiting for me. Seeing me, he rushed forward, closing the distance and cupped either side of my face in his hands.

  “What’s wrong? Did someone say something?”

  I shook my head as his thumbs brushed my cheeks like windshield wipers. I stepped back, wishing there had been glass between us because his touch wasn’t the balm I needed.

  There were too many unresolved feelings on my part clouding the situation further. Even though we weren’t as close as we’d been as kids, years of friendship allowed me to speak without thought.

  “I told Dad.”

  I didn’t have to explain what. He instinctively knew and cursed.

  “He told you to quit.”

  It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway. Shepard understood more than maybe August. When his parents got divorced and his father got into legal trouble, it had been Mom who had championed him to move in with us when things at his mom’s didn’t work out.

  The space between us evaporated, and he was too damn close. His words feathered over my lips, creating a breeze against my mouth.

  “I hope you’re doing this for you and not him. Because if you aren’t, you don’t need to play.”

  As much as I’d sought my father’s approval, I loved the game.

  Something happened in that moment between words. My fantasy mixed with reality surely because his lips descended meeting mine. They were so soft, softer than I’d imagined. Then his tongue snaked across the seam of mine, and I parted my mouth, letting him in.

  He tasted of mint and Gatorade. For a second, I was lost in a dreamlike place until his hand threaded in my hair and down to the base of my neck. That instant contact of skin against skin broke the make-believe trance I’d entered. What the hell was I doing?

  I shoved him back.

  His wide eyes gave him the dazed appearance I’d felt. But that all cleared up when I pushed him.

  “I don’t need your pity. And I damn sure don’t want seconds after you had your tongue down that girl’s throat.” I wiped a hand across my mouth. “That’s just gross.”

  I marched for the bathroom, Shepard following close behind.

  “Wait,” he called.

  “No,” I half spun so fast, the end of my ponytail stingingly slapped at my cheek. “Stay away from me.”

  I shut the door in his face and let my tears fall. I rested my hands on the counter before grabbing
my toothbrush.

  Many nights I may have dreamed about Shepard doing what he’d just done but never with some other girl’s germs on his tongue.

  A door closed before I turned the water on. Good, he’d gotten the message. It was most certainly time for me to move on from childhood fantasizes of a father who loved me and a boy I’d wanted to be mine.

  I thought about the note Billy had slipped me after practice. He was cute, and he’d stood up for me when my brothers had said nothing. He may not be who I wanted, but maybe he was exactly what I needed.

  8

  shepard

  Banging my head on my forearm where it rested on the doorframe didn’t take away the colossal fuckup that had just occurred.

  There was no explaining to Finley about that stupid kiss. She’d been sure of what she’d seen.

  Lacey had tricked me into thinking she wanted to tell me something, and then her lips were on me before I could stop her. I’d pulled back in time to see Finley’s back. I thought maybe she missed whatever happened. I certainly hadn’t kissed Lacey back.

  I pounded my fist on the frame before deciding I couldn’t let my one shot go to waste. I would try to explain everything. I’d tell her the truth about how I felt. Who knew if I would get another opportunity before Billy or some other guy took that away from me.

  It took a few minutes, but finally she came out of the bathroom into the hall where I waited.

  “I told you to leave me alone,” she protested in an attempt to evade me.

  I caught her by the arm. “No, you’re going to listen because I didn’t kiss her.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and she barked a short laugh. “Oh what, they do sign language with tongues now?”

  The smirk on her face wasn’t friendly.

  “No, she kissed me.”

  She tried to wiggle out of my hold. “And that makes it better?”

  “I didn’t kiss her back. She told me she had something to tell me, and then she struck. You missed the moment. I pulled back and set her straight.”

  She relaxed some, closing her eyes for a second. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t need your pity either.”

  I didn’t get it. How could she not see like everyone else how I felt about her?

  “You think that’s pity? I—”

  My words were cut off.

  “What’s going on now?”

  We both turned to see August at the top of the stairs. I let my hands fall when his gaze landed on my grip on her. He didn’t look happy.

  “Nothing,” Finley said, wiping at her eyes before making a break for it into her room and closing the door.

  “Why is she crying?”

  August’s guard dog instincts were at the surface.

  Truthfully, I didn’t know if any of her tears were because of me. I hoped not. There were so many things I wanted from her that wouldn’t cause her to cry.

  “She talked to your dad,” I said.

  That much I knew for sure.

  He grimaced. “He told her to quit, I bet.”

  She hadn’t given me specifics, so I nodded.

  He pulled out his phone.

  “Don’t,” I said. “That’s not going to help.”

  Although on some level August knew he was his father’s favorite, he didn’t notice the backlash we all felt when he stood up for us.

  I let out the breath I was holding when he pocketed his phone. He folded his hands on top of his head. “What am I supposed to do?”

  August was many things, but loyalty was important to him. There were times he acted like a dick to Finley, but he would do anything for her.

  “Wait until she asks you for help.”

  He nodded, and we both stood there as Finley’s door opened again.

  “Where are you going?” August asked.

  Finley had changed quickly. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders, stopping my breath.

  “I have a date,” she announced.

  Her eyes sparkled with mischief, but she completely avoided direct eye contact.

  “With Billy?” August spat.

  He wasn’t happy about it, and neither was I. Billy saw her as a conquest while I saw her as my forever.

  Her head tilted as one hand landed on her hip. “I know we have the same birthday. But I can do what I want, and don’t interfere this time. Remember he’s the starting quarterback, and you want to be on this team.”

  She had him there. I balled one fist wanting to punch something, anything.

  When her eyes finally glanced my way, I silently pleaded with her to stay. Either she was turning me down, or she couldn’t understand my pleading gaze. She just disappeared down the stairs, leaving August and me to look at each other.

  “I don’t like that guy,” he said.

  “Me either, but she’s right. He’s captain of the team and has Coach’s ear.”

  Cooper appeared and had apparently overheard our conversation. “Maybe not for long.” He glanced between us. “You’re talking about Billy, right?” He paused for our agreement. “He has a bad shoulder and stays in the pocket. Coach will put me in before the end of the season. Besides, Finley can handle herself.”

  The youngest brother was a keep-to-himself kind of guy. It was always a bit of a shock when he spoke up. But when he did, he made perfect sense.

  “Don’t worry,” he added, patting his brother’s shoulder. “Once he’s out, then you can kick his ass for Finley.”

  He said it so matter-of-factly, August and I were left to consider his words when he closed himself in his room.

  We laughed as we always did when Coop decided to leave his role-playing world of Dungeons and Dragons, or whatever the latest game was, and enter the real one.

  “Sometimes I worry about him,” August said.

  I chuckled. “Sometimes?”

  When we calmed down, August dropped the bomb before heading to his bedroom.

  “I invited a few girls over, so go get ready.” He turned back. “Oh, and I brought you some food since you didn’t go to the café.”

  The last thing I wanted was for a bunch of girls to be in the house when Finley returned.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  I went downstairs hoping she hadn’t left yet. We needed to straighten things out before she went with Billy. What if she started to like the guy?

  No fucking way if I had my say. But downstairs was empty. I took out my phone and sent her a text. She didn’t respond. After several minutes, I tried again, begging her to call so I could explain. Nothing.

  Clearly, she wasn’t interested in me. Why was I killing myself to set this right? I guessed I’d read things wrong earlier. It had been comfort she needed, not me. I went upstairs to change.

  9

  finley

  I arrived at the pill-shaped shiny metal building for my date. Everything was retro including the inside. It was like I’d walked into the 1950s. The narrow building held booths that lined the windowed wall facing the front. I searched right, and then left, before I spotted her in the last booth with her back to the wall. Though I’d led August and Shep to believe I was going out with Billy, I was really there to have dinner with Emily.

  “Hey,” she greeted.

  I slid in opposite her and waved. “Hey.”

  “Thanks for meeting me.”

  Talk about awkward. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just stuck with the obvious.

  “Why’d you want to see me?”

  Somehow she’d gotten my number, maybe from a mutual friend in high school.

  She surveyed me before saying, “I thought we could clear the air.”

  I wasn’t sure what air was dirty. Yeah, she’d dated my brother and broke his heart. But from the little I gathered from August, it was more about the fact she’d moved halfway across the country.

  “About August?” I asked.

  “Yes. I want to get any questions you have out in the open because I hope we
can be friends.”

  So far, my scoreboard was zero on the friend front. The only person I’d talked to at the party was Billy and the girl in front of me.

  “Whatever happened between you and my brother is your business.” She sagged a little at the same time her smile ratcheted up. “Though, I do want to know why you broke up with him.”

  I couldn’t be friends with someone I didn’t trust. Her answer would give me a clue if I could or not.

  Quickly, her expression morphed, pinching the skin between her eyebrows together.

  “I didn’t break up with him. He did. He said because our parents wouldn’t let us visit each other, what was the point. He—”

  I held up a hand to stop her. “Like I said, it’s your business. I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t intentionally hurt him.”

  “I didn’t. I swear,” she said.

  So I would believe her unless my brother came clean and told me otherwise. I was easy like that. I reached a hand halfway across the table, catching her off guard. “Friends?”

  She studied my offered hand before shaking it. “Friends.”

  “Why don’t you tell me more about Kevin?” I asked, changing the subject.

  Her cheeks instantly brightened. Before she could answer, a waitress arrived with a milkshake in one of those old-fashion fountain glasses. It looked good. She asked if we were ready to place an order. I pointed to the delicious-looking vanilla shake.

  “Can I have one of those?” I asked.

  “Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry.”

  I went with my favorite. “Strawberry, please.”

  She tipped her head, and somehow the tiny blue hat that matched the too short old-time uniform stayed put on her head.

  “So,” I said, trying to get to know my new friend. “Where were we?” I put my finger to my lips. “Oh right, Kevin.”

  She laughed at my overly dramatic segue.

  “Fine. I’ll answer your question—”

  “Truthfully,” I cut in.

  “Truthfully, as long as you answer one of mine . . . Truthfully.”

  I folded my hands and placed them on the table after nodding my agreement.