Karma

by Sandrine Gasq-Dion

  Their very first Valentine’s Day together had been with their dates. They had gone out as a foursome and Paul had been watching Josh’s date all night. He didn’t like him. He was very touchy-feely and Paul could tell Josh was uncomfortable. Paul’s date was watching Paul. When Josh excused himself to dance with his date, Paul’s date spoke up.

  “Why don’t you tell him, Paul?”

  “Tell him what?”

  “You love Josh. It’s so obvious.”

  “I think you’re seeing things, Mike. Besides, if you’ve been watching Josh’s face, you’d know he’s very uncomfortable with Jerry touching him so much.”

  “He seems happy to me.”

  “Well, you don’t know him like I do.”

  Paul watched Jerry kiss Josh and he wanted to throw up. He didn’t want anyone touching Josh. They came back to the table and Josh and Mike excused themselves to go to the restroom, leaving Paul at the table with Jerry.

  “Josh tells me you two are best friends.” Jerry eyed Paul.

  “Yes, we are. And if you hurt him, I will hurt you.” Paul smiled.

  “Wow, he said you were protective. But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

  “I mean it — don’t fuck with him.”

  “I’ll do what I want, Paul. Josh is my boyfriend and if he lets me, I plan on making love to him tonight.”

  “That will never happen.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because Josh is very picky.”

  “Why don’t you just tell him, Paul, instead of watching him go out on dates? What if he falls in love with someone?”

  “He will still be in my life, and that’s all that matters.”

  Josh and Mike came back and the conversation changed. After another hour, Jerry and Josh got up to leave. Paul pulled Josh aside.

  “Are you okay leaving with him?’

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  Paul’s heart ached as Josh left with his date. Mike came up beside him.

  “If you don’t tell him, then someday you’ll lose him.”

  Paul pulled Mike in and kissed him hard. “You want to talk about Josh or be with me?”

  “Let’s go.” Mike grabbed his hand.

  Paul had gotten home to find Josh on his doorstep. He walked over slowly and sat down on the steps with him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I couldn’t. I…”

  “It’s okay, Josh.” Paul held him.

  “What’s wrong with me, Paul?” Josh sobbed.

  Paul wiped his tears. “Not a thing. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Paul hugged him tight.

  Josh stayed over that night and Paul held him. Josh had more than one nightmare that night and Paul tried hard to comfort him. He had finally fallen asleep with Josh wrapped in his arms.

  *~~~*

  Tanner was picking up Mark for dinner. Mark’s mother answered when he ran the doorbell.

  “Tanner.”

  “I know you’re mad at me.”

  “I’m not, Tanner; really I’m not. I’ll admit that I’m confused. But I just want Mark to be happy.”

  “That’s all I want, too.”

  “Just be careful with his heart, Tanner.” She hugged him hard.

  “I promise I will.”

  Tanner blindfolded Mark when they got into the car. They drove for a while before stopping. Tanner came around to Mark’s side and took him by the hand. They walked a little ways and then Tanner removed the blindfold. They were standing on the twenty-five-yard line of the high school football field. There was a table set with lit candles and glasses of sparkling cider.

  “What is all this?” Mark looked around.

  “This is where we first met.”

  “I love it!”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” Mark pulled him in and kissed him.

  “I have dinner coming, too.” Tanner winked.

  “Wow, what is it?”

  “Something you like,” Tanner whispered in his ear.

  “Tanner…” Mark sucked in a breath as Tanner’s lips nibbled his neck.

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.” Mark lifted his face. “I really do love it.”

  “I love you, Mark. I know I should have said it a long time ago. You were there for me when I was scared and having nightmares; you were the only one who understood. I just hope someday you can forgive me for the monumental ass I’ve been.”

  “We’re starting over; none of that matters anymore. We need to be completely honest from here on out, okay?”

  “I’ll do whatever you want. I love you, Mark. I just want a chance.”

  “Well, that’s what we’re doing.” Mark pulled Tanner in for a kiss.

  “God, I missed you,” Tanner breathed.

  “I missed you, too.”

  Tanner noticed a delivery truck pulling up.

  “Food’s here.”

  “I’m not hungry anymore.” Mark gripped Tanner’s ass.

  “Okay, whoa, wait. One thing at a time, okay? Not that I don’t want to throw you on this table, but let’s take this slow. I want you, but I want to do this right.”

  Mark pulled him in tight. “Slow is good.” He kissed him thoroughly. “Slow is very good.”

  “Oh Jesus, Mark!”

  They ate dinner and talked about the day they met. Mark laughed when he remembered Tanner’s comment about his tight end. When they finished, Tanner took him home, walked him to the door and took his hand.

  “Goodnight, Mark.”

  “Not even a kiss goodnight?”

  Tanner leaned in and kissed him lightly. “I love you. Goodnight.”

  Tanner walked back to his car and Mark went inside. His parents were sitting on the couch watching TV.

  “How was your date?” She asked.

  “It was so special. Tanner took me to the place where we first met.”

  “I’m glad you had fun, Mark.”

  “I did. Tanner is different now. He’s more mature.”

  “As long as you’re happy.”

  “I am, Mom. I am.”

  *~~~*

  Matt was waiting for Kyle after class. They were going to have dinner at Kyle’s for Valentine’s Day. He couldn’t wait to be alone with Kyle. It had been a few days and Matt was starting to worry whether Kyle had changed his mind about being with him. He waited across the hall and noticed class letting out. Kyle walked out with another student and Matt smiled and pulled him aside.

  “Hey, how are you?”

  Kyle moved away. “I’m fine.”

  “Okay, well I’ll see you later.” Matt walked away and overheard Kyle telling the student they were friends.

  Matt stopped for a drink of water and then continued down the hall. Someone grabbed him and pulled him in to an empty classroom. Kyle was smiling happily.

  “I missed you.” Kyle pulled him in and kissed him.

  Matt pulled away. “You always kiss your friends like that?”

  “I’m sorry. You took me by surprise.”

  “I bet. So, dinner tonight, right?”

  “I have a study group, so how about sevenish?”

  “Okay.” Matt began to leave and Kyle pulled him back.

  “I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

  “I’ll see you later.” Matt left the classroom, and he watched from down the hall and as Kyle come out and checked both ways. “Alone is the operative word,” Matt sighed.

  Matt arrived at Kyle’s apartment at seven sharp and rang the doorbell. Kyle opened the door, stepped outside and shut it quickly behind him.

  “Hey! We’re running a little over. Can you come back in, like, fifteen minutes?”

  “Why can’t I just come in?”

  “You know why. How am I going to explain it?”

  “Uh — we’re friends?”

  “Yeah, but you’re gay. They’re going to think —”

  “You know what, Kyle? No problem.”

  �
��Matt, wait!”

  “No, it’s good. Go study.”

  Matt trotted down the stairs with Kyle on his heels.

  “Wait, Matt!”

  “Uh oh, be careful! Your friends are going to wonder why you’re chasing the gay guy.”

  “Will you just let me explain?”

  “Nah, I’m pretty sure I’ve got it, Kyle. I’m going home.”

  Kyle cursed as Matt squealed out of the parking lot. Dammit, why couldn’t he just be himself? If he wasn’t careful, he was going to lose Matt again and that was not an option.

  He returned to his apartment and wrapped up the study session in record time. Then he drove to Matt’s, relieved to see his car in the parking lot. He knocked on his door. Matt answered but he did not look happy.

  “Why are you here?”

  Kyle pushed him back into the apartment and shut the door. He pushed Matt against the door and kissed him. Matt resisted and then Kyle’s arms were around him and he deepened the kiss, pulling Matt into him and crushing their bodies together.

  “I’m sorry. I’m such an ass,” Kyle whispered.

  “Yeah, you are. But you’re a really good kisser.”

  “Am I forgiven?”

  “This time.” Matt smiled. He was hurt, but Kyle was worth it.

  “Now, what about dinner?”

  They went back to Kyle’s and ate dinner. Kyle cleaned up and then they sat on the couch to watch a movie. Matt leaned into Kyle and Kyle wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

  “Thank you Matt. I know I can be stupid; I never meant to hurt you.”

  “Well, if you kiss me extra special, I’ll forget the whole thing.”

  Kyle smiled and pulled him into his lap. He traced his finger along Matt’s features and kissed then kissed him. “I’m sorry.”

  “I forgive you.”

  “No, I think I need to kiss you some more.”

  “I’m not complaining.”

  Kyle brushed his lips lightly across Matt’s and then parted them with his tongue. He lifted Matt’s shirt and ran a hand up the smooth skin, then down into the waistband of his jeans. He unbuttoned them and slid a hand inside, gripping Matt’s dick.

  “Oh God, Kyle!” Matt gasped.

  Kyle kissed him harder and stroked faster; Matt’s moans were making him hard. Matt’s cock hardened and then he came with a loud cry. They stayed together, Kyle kissing Matt as his hand slowly stroked him until he finally stopped moving.

  “How was that?” Kyle whispered.

  “It was perfect.”

  “I haven’t really done anything like this, so …”

  “Has anyone ever jacked you off?”

  “Besides me? Nope.” Kyle laughed and winked.

  “Do you trust me?” Matt palmed his face.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Then let me show you something.” Matt took him by the hand and took him to Kyle’s bedroom.

  Matt undressed down to his boxers, then undressed Kyle down to his as well. He wanted to leave on a bit of clothing so as not to overwhelm Kyle. He lay him on the bed and settled between his legs.

  “If you don’t like something tell me, okay?”

  Kyle nodded. The sight of Matt in his boxers turned him on so much, he didn’t care what the hell he did to him as long as he was touching him. Matt ran his hands down Kyle’s chest, and paused with one hand hovering over his boxers. He slid a finger just a little bit under the waistband. His other hand played with a nipple. As soon as Kyle’s head went back, Matt rubbed the front of his boxers. His hand came in contact with skin for a brief moment and Kyle groaned. Matt wore a satisfied smile as his fingers crept inside, where they wrapped around Kyle’s hard cock and began a slow stroke. Kyle’s hips were rocking with the rhythm, so Matt tightened his grip. He pulled Kyle’s cock free from his boxers and took him in his mouth. Kyle almost flew off the bed, his hips bucked and pushed his cock to the back of Matt’s throat.

  “Holy shit!’

  “Matt! Oh God!”

  Kyle grabbed Matt’s hair and held on, coming hard. He couldn’t believe how good it felt. Matt was still sucking slowly watching Kyle’s face.

  “Oh God, you’re sexy,” Kyle breathed.

  Matt left light kisses on Kyle’s softening cock, then kissed his way up to his mouth.

  “How was that?”

  “Wow! I mean — wow!” Kyle pulled Matt into his chest. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  “I can do that.”

  Kyle watched Matt sleep. Kyle knew he had to get his act together. He had real feelings for Matt and he couldn’t lose him because he was afraid of coming out.

  “I’ll fix this, I promise,” Kyle whispered and kissed Matt’s forehead.

  *~~~*

  Josh and Paul had been sightseeing all over Greece. They finally hit the Temple of Zeus last. Josh went in and looked around. After a few minutes he realized not only were they the only ones there, but it was dark.

  “Paul?”

  “Yes?”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Come with me,” Paul whispered.

  “I don’t think we’re supposed to be out here; it’s blocked off.”

  “Not to us, it isn’t.”

  Josh felt Paul’s hand squeeze his and suddenly a spotlight came on highlighting a table in the center. There was a bottle of wine and it was set up for dinner.

  “Paul!” Josh’s face had a look of awe.

  Paul escorted Josh to the center and pulled him into his arms.

  “Now, I can dance with you.”

  “There’s no music.”

  “Says who?”

  Paul pulled him in and took his hand; music began to play and Josh’s heart raced. Then the tears came.

  “Don’t cry.” Paul gently wiped his face.

  “And you call me a romantic!” Josh kissed him sweetly.

  “I love you, Josh Reynolds. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

  “I love you, too, Paul.” Josh kissed him back.

  After a wonderful dinner, they returned to the hotel and Paul undressed Josh slowly. They stood in front of each other naked. Paul was in awe of Josh. He was absolutely gorgeous. He pulled him into his arms and kissed him softly. Josh took command of the kiss and Paul actually whimpered.

  “Hmm, the Reynolds kiss has affected the great and powerful Paul Greystone.” Josh grinned.

  “You weren’t lying all those years, were you? You really can kiss.”

  “Stop talking.” Josh covered his mouth with his own.

  They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, Josh fell asleep quickly.

  His dreams took him back to the first time Paul had come to him after his parents died. He’d had sex, and he wanted to talk to Josh. Josh listened, even though inside he was hurt that Paul had sex. On the other hand, he was happy he wasn’t in love with the person.

  “So, you just hit it and left?”

  “I don’t care anymore, Josh. I don’t want to have feelings for anyone. I want to hit it and leave. I’ll never let anyone close to me again.”

  “What about me?”

  “You’re different, Josh. You will always be close to me.”

  “Please be careful, Paul.”

  “Oh, I am”

  Over the next few years, Paul became cold and then colder to people. He always kept Josh close to him, but he was downright vicious to everyone else; Josh was starting to worry about him.

  “Paul, you’re starting to scare me.” Josh palmed his face.

  “Why?”

  “You’ve turned off everyone you know with your hard attitude.”

  “I don’t act that way with you.”

  “I’m the only one you are yourself with.”

  “Then stop complaining, Josh.” Immediately, Paul could see he had hurt his feelings. “Aw shit, I’m sorry, Josh.” He hugged him.

  “Please don’t ever be like that with me,” Josh whispered in his ear. “I can’t lose you.”

  “Hey.” Paul pulle
d away and met eyes with Josh. “I would never treat you like that, Josh. You understand me?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Josh smiled. Paul pulled him into a hug again and Josh wrapped his arms around Paul’s neck. It was scary to watch the Paul he knew become a cold, calculated asshole.

  “You going to ask me how it was?” Paul smiled.

  “Nope,” Josh laughed.

  Josh woke up to find Paul’s arms around him. He kissed his jawline and watched the smile form on Paul’s face. Paul pulled him in and kissed him hard.

  “Morning.”

  “Morning.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “Are you all right?” Josh asked.

  “I’m better than all right.”

  Josh watched Paul as he got up. He loved Paul, he really did, but he could see what the separation from Mark was doing to him. They hadn’t had sex and Josh knew why. He loved Tanner and Paul was in love with Mark. Josh sighed. He knew Paul better than he knew himself. As much as Paul professed to love him, it was obvious he loved Mark more. Now he just had to get Paul to realize they would never work.

  Because Mark was his life.

  Chapter Twenty

  Stefan found a note on the fridge when he got home. He pulled it off and read it, grinned and ran outside. Jordan, dressed in a tuxedo, was standing by the oak tree, surrounded by candles. When Stefan reached him, Jordan pulled him inside the circle.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Jordan kissed him.

  “It’s beautiful, Jordan.”

  Pastor Mike came out of the woods. “We are here to reaffirm the vows taken by Stefan and Jordan Youngblood.”

  “Baby?” Stefan’s eyes filled with tears.

  “I know I said Ireland, but I wanted to do it here first. This is where you asked me to marry you.”

  “Oh, Jordan!” Stefan threw his arms around Jordan.

  Jordan took his vows again, affirming he would do it for the rest of his life. He knew he belonged with Stefan; he always had. Jordan picked Stefan up and carried him to the house. He lay him on the bed and stripped him.

  “I’m going to make love to you, Stefan.” Jordan pushed Stefan back and settled between his legs. “I love you. It doesn’t matter how many years go by. I love you more and more each day.”