A Fire Upon the Deep
Page 95
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Note 1494
* [vsv] [ur] June 20, 1991 AWK repetition of “show”
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Note 1495
* [vsv] June 6, 1991 Does this time estimate conflict with size of the new Slowness
* [vsv] IMP SEQ INCON also does this distance to the Beyond conflict with the CHRON of Blabber?
June 20, 1991 FIXED so it doesn’t explicitly conflict, but it is a problem
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Note 1496
* [vsv] June 6, 1991 The phrasing in this paragraph may make it not an INCON that Woodcarver herself earlier had a theory of human superiority.
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Note 1497
* [jrf2] change “be all we can be” to avoid cliche
* [vsv] [ur] June 7, 1991 “all we can be” yecco
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Note 1498
* [vsv] TUF March 10, 1991
* PRB “inched” is the only verb that comes to mind, but the normal Tinish conversational distance is so great that an inch at a time would take forever to get together
* [jrf2] How about “creeped” instead of “inched”?
* [vsv] Repetition of “slow”
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Note 1499
* [vsv] June 7, 1991 CHK whether you used such phrasing as previous sentence during their original romance.
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Note 1500
* [vsv] June 7, 1991 CHK geometry
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Note 1501
* [vsv] CHK when tide would be high — I think this is okay. But this actually depends on exact nature of moon; also, is there lag?
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Note 1502
* [vsv] June 7, 1991 “behind” or “before”?
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Note 1503
* NÆH : QU INCON Should I make something of them being accompanied by bodyguards on this stargazing?
* [vsv] mARK March 10, 1991
* QU MG: Satellite galaxy of ours that might be as visible as Magellanics, but from 180degrees around the galactic disk? If so, what style of name might be appropriate? I think the Magellanics would be even more visible from Tines’ World than earth (though not by much). see c07 notes
* CHK that this is not too repetitive of an early scene description of Tyrathect’s.
* CHK get twilight program and check out when you could see the stars. Or simpler: At equinox, twilight should be easy to figure without any program. Simply geometry says that at the equinox at midnight, the sun will be 90-x degrees below the horizon, where x is the latitude of the point in question. Now Hidden Island is at x=69.67deg, so the sun is just over 21deg below the horizon (given my assumed axial tilt<?>). This is into astronomical night, I believe, and I think it will hold for several hours.
* QU somewhere, do I need to make more of the surprise of Ravna/Pham in learning of the fraud of math genius that Amdijefri have put over?
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Note 1504
* [vsv] CHKd 151 children; see c24
* [vsv] Note reference to Pham here [delete it]
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Note 1505
* [vsv] [ur] May 26, 1991 Don’t like the implication here that Pham might be sometime revivable
* [vsv] [ur] June 20, 1991 might be nice to have something that shows how the kids have saved her from mental bogglement and this might be a good place (tag: “love”):
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Note 1506
* [vsv] Following image not quite right:
* FRAG : The coming of humans was almost like the invention of hands by the handless.
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Note 1507
* [vsv] May 26, 1991 CHK with binoc vision estimates in the first part of novel. June 20, 1991 direct binocular vision, even with 30m dispersal would only range to about 4300m
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Note 1508
* [vsv] CHKd CHRON “till three years ago” — some might argue I should say 2.5 years ago.
* [vsv] Probably could do more here, hearkening back to Lynne and how this quest has ended something like the true Nyjoran adventures began.
* [jrf2] Yes. Excellent idea.
* [vsv] awkward 2’th sentence
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Note 1509
* [jrf2] “Tirolle and Glimfrelle”: Am I missing something, or didn’t you ever really describe them physically?
* [jdv] p871 mentioning possibility of Ramscoops. Make this clearer earlier on!
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Note 1510
* [vsv] June 7, 1991 Note that Straumli Realm would be in the galactic plane
* [vsv] June 20, 1991 CHKd geometry, distances. But not all this impacts SEQ BKG
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Note 1511
* [vsv] [ur] QU MG does blue-white giant make sense?
* [vsv] May 26, 1991 Also check that a star could be that bright
* [vsv] June 20, 1991 If model after Naos zeta Pup: O5, -7.3 abs mag I estimate it would be mag -3.3 at Straum and about mag -3.3 at Tines’ World. It really should be mag 5 or 6 to justify Amdi’s comment ( ==> -2.3 or -1.3 from Straum<?>). Ug, I think Venus can get to be -4 so that’s what I should shoot at here. Say -5 from Straum and 6 from Tines World. i.e. about 25000 times difference in luminosity or 158 factor difference in distance which would put it 38 light-years from Straum
* [vsv] [ur] June 20, 1991 slight INCON that Storlys would not be lost in the other bright stars of the disk.
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Note 1512
* [vsv] [ur] : This anger is a little out of place; even so, might tie it up with some unrelated low opinion that SjK has for Straumers. This comment also applies to the sarcastic you got it, kid a little before this point. — June 20, 1991 mellowed it a little.
* [vsv] [ur] June 20, 1991 One thing is probably to decide exactly what Ravna’s attitude is toward Straum now.
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Note 1513
* [vsv] June 20, 1991 see c38 for final Blight stats and from c37, about 152 ships left.
* [vsv] June 20, 1991 BKG SEQ implication that Beyonder/Transcend built ramscoops can get to at least 0.6c
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Note 1514
* [vsv] May 26, 1991 IMP the “stunting drugs” reference in the next paragraph which are a SOLN for some earlier PRB notes.
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Note 1515
* [vsv] [ur] May 26, 1991 Previous sentence awkward
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Note 1516
* [vsv] May 26, 1991 Does this drag? June 20, 1991 probably okay but TUF
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Note 1517
* [vsv] May 26, 1991 Middle of previous paragraph is awkward
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Note 1518
* [vsv] seems to me this stargazing goes on too long, and you are also missing some thoughts of Pham. These two problems can probably be used to solve each other. June 20, 1991 NÆH
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Note 1519
* NOTE to Copyeditor : The following, final, “epilog” should also be on a separate page. However, the page should be facing the epilog just finished, so the reader will not accidentally miss its existence.
* IMP The point of this last email is to get back at this jackass flamer (purely a writerly humor), and to make it clear that the Blight almost certainly was destroyed. I don’t want to give the impression that we are seeing a disaster that is still spreading. This guy is simply seeing the result of Pham’s Surge.
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Note 1520
* [vsv] [ur] May 4, 1991 What is the proper way to say the next line? June 20, 1991 light-hearted question for jrf mg hld jlc
* [vsv] [ur] May 4, 1991 CHKd
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Note 1521
* [vsv] QU IMP How about
a final epilog bringing us full circle back to the heart of the Blight? NÆH June 20, 1991
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Note 1522
* [ur] 26Aug1990 02:39:58pm [2:44] I’m done! Ha Ha, I’M DONE ! hahahahahahahahahah Hooray, I’m done I’m done, I’m done, I’m done. Heheheheheheheheh ha argle gobble gobblelskd adj kjkjoiqu.joij!
* [vsv] [ur] 20Jun91 03:54:04pm [3:56] Let me second the sentiments expressed so eloquently above (even though I still won’t have this thing in the mail till 22Jun91)
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Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Dedication
Behind the Scenes of A Fire Upon the Deep
A Primitive Form of Story Documentation
A Zoology of Annotations
A Little History
The Future of Annotations
PROLOG
PART I
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
PART II
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
PART III
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
EPILOG
NOTES