The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg, and Other Stories

by Mark Twain

  THE ESQUIMAUX MAIDEN'S ROMANCE

  'Yes, I will tell you anything about my life that you would like toknow, Mr. Twain,' she said, in her soft voice, and letting her honesteyes rest placidly upon my face, 'for it is kind and good of you to likeme and care to know about me.'

  She had been absently scraping blubber-grease from her cheeks witha small bone-knife and transferring it to her fur sleeve, while shewatched the Aurora Borealis swing its flaming streamers out of the skyand wash the lonely snow plain and the templed icebergs with the richhues of the prism, a spectacle of almost intolerable splendour andbeauty; but now she shook off her reverie and prepared to give me thehumble little history I had asked for. She settled herself comfortablyon the block of ice which we were using as a sofa, and I made ready tolisten.

  She was a beautiful creature. I speak from the Esquimaux point of view.Others would have thought her a trifle over-plump. She was just twentyyears old, and was held to be by far the most bewitching girl in hertribe. Even now, in the open air, with her cumbersome and shapeless furcoat and trousers and boots and vast hood, the beauty of her face was atleast apparent; but her figure had to be taken on trust. Among all theguests who came and went, I had seen no girl at her father's hospitabletrough who could be called her equal. Yet she was not spoiled. Shewas sweet and natural and sincere, and if she was aware that she was abelle, there was nothing about her ways to show that she possessed thatknowledge.

  She had been my daily comrade for a week now, and the better I knew herthe better I liked her. She had been tenderly and carefully brought up,in an atmosphere of singularly rare refinement for the polar regions,for her father was the most important man of his tribe and ranked at thetop of Esquimaux civilisation. I made long dog-sledge trips across themighty ice floes with Lasca--that was her name--and found her companyalways pleasant and her conversation agreeable. I went fishing with her,but not in her perilous boat: I merely followed along on the ice andwatched her strike her game with her fatally accurate spear. We wentsealing together; several times I stood by while she and the family dugblubber from a stranded whale, and once I went part of the way when shewas hunting a bear, but turned back before the finish, because at bottomI am afraid of bears.

  However, she was ready to begin her story, now, and this is what shesaid:

  'Our tribe had always been used to wander about from place to place overthe frozen seas, like the other tribes, but my father got tired of that,two years ago, and built this great mansion of frozen snow-blocks--lookat it; it is seven feet high and three or four times as long as any ofthe others--and here we have stayed ever since. He was very proud of hishouse, and that was reasonable, for if you have examined it with careyou must have noticed how much finer and completer it is than housesusually are. But if you have not, you must, for you will find it hasluxurious appointments that are quite beyond the common. For instance,in that end of it which you have called the "parlour," the raisedplatform for the accommodation of guests and the family at meals is thelargest you have ever seen in any house--is it not so?'

  'Yes, you are quite right, Lasca; it is the largest; we have nothingresembling it in even the finest houses in the United States.' Thisadmission made her eyes sparkle with pride and pleasure. I noted that,and took my cue.

  'I thought it must have surprised you,' she said. 'And another thing;it is bedded far deeper in furs than is usual; all kinds of furs--seal,sea-otter, silver-grey fox, bear, marten, sable--every kind of fur inprofusion; and the same with the ice-block sleeping-benches along thewalls which you call "beds." Are your platforms and sleeping-benchesbetter provided at home?'

  'Indeed, they are not, Lasca--they do not begin to be.' That pleasedher again. All she was thinking of was the number of furs her aestheticfather took the trouble to keep on hand, not their value. I could havetold her that those masses of rich furs constituted wealth--or would inmy country--but she would not have understood that; those were not thekind of things that ranked as riches with her people. I could havetold her that the clothes she had on, or the every-day clothes ofthe commonest person about her, were worth twelve or fifteen hundreddollars, and that I was not acquainted with anybody at home who woretwelve-hundred dollar toilets to go fishing in; but she would not haveunderstood it, so I said nothing. She resumed:

  'And then the slop-tubs. We have two in the parlour, and two in the restof the house. It is very seldom that one has two in the parlour. Haveyou two in the parlour at home?'

  The memory of those tubs made me gasp, but I recovered myself before shenoticed, and said with effusion:

  'Why, Lasca, it is a shame of me to expose my country, and you must notlet it go further, for I am speaking to you in confidence; but I giveyou my word of honour that not even the richest man in the city of NewYork has two slop-tubs in his drawing-room.'

  She clapped her fur-clad hands in innocent delight, and exclaimed:

  'Oh, but you cannot mean it, you cannot mean it!'

  'Indeed, I am in earnest, dear. There is Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt isalmost the richest man in the whole world. Now, if I were on my dyingbed, I could say to you that not even he has two in his drawing-room.Why, he hasn't even one--I wish I may die in my tracks if it isn'ttrue.'

  Her lovely eyes stood wide with amazement, and she said, slowly, andwith a sort of awe in her voice:

  'How strange--how incredible--one is not able to realise it. Is hepenurious?'

  'No--it isn't that. It isn't the expense he minds, but--er--well, youknow, it would look like showing off. Yes, that is it, that is the idea;he is a plain man in his way, and shrinks from display.'

  'Why, that humility is right enough,' said Lasca, 'if one does not carryit too far--but what does the place look like?'

  'Well, necessarily it looks pretty barren and unfinished, but--'

  'I should think so! I never heard anything like it. Is it a finehouse--that is, otherwise?'

  'Pretty fine, yes. It is very well thought of.'

  The girl was silent awhile, and sat dreamily gnawing a candle-end,apparently trying to think the thing out. At last she gave her head alittle toss and spoke out her opinion with decision:

  'Well, to my mind there's a breed of humility which is itself a speciesof showing off when you get down to the marrow of it; and when a man isable to afford two slop-tubs in his parlour, and doesn't do it, it maybe that he is truly humble-minded, but it's a hundred times more likelythat he is just trying to strike the public eye. In my judgment, yourMr. Vanderbilt knows what he is about.'

  I tried to modify this verdict, feeling that a double slop-tub standardwas not a fair one to try everybody by, although a sound enough onein its own habitat; but the girl's head was set, and she was not to bepersuaded. Presently she said:

  'Do the rich people, with you, have as good sleeping-benches as ours,and made out of as nice broad ice-blocks?'

  'Well, they are pretty good--good enough--but they are not made ofice-blocks.'

  'I want to know! Why aren't they made of ice-blocks?'

  I explained the difficulties in the way, and the expensiveness of icein a country where you have to keep a sharp eye on your ice-man or yourice-bill will weigh more than your ice. Then she cried out:

  'Dear me, do you buy your ice?'

  'We most surely do, dear.'

  She burst into a gale of guileless laughter, and said:

  'Oh, I never heard of anything so silly! My! there's plenty of it--itisn't worth anything. Why, there is a hundred miles of it in sight,right now. I wouldn't give a fish-bladder for the whole of it.'

  'Well, it's because you don't know how to value it, you littleprovincial muggings. If you had it in New York in midsummer, you couldbuy all the whales in the market with it.'

  She looked at me doubtfully, and said:

  'Are you speaking true?'

  'Absolutely. I take my oath to it.'

  This made her thoughtful. Presently she said, with a little sigh:

  'I wish I could live there.'

  I had merely m
eant to furnish her a standard of values which she couldunderstand; but my purpose had miscarried. I had only given her theimpression that whales were cheap and plenty in New York, and set hermouth to watering for them. It seemed best to try to mitigate the evilwhich I had done, so I said:

  'But you wouldn't care for whale-meat if you lived there. Nobody does.'

  'What!'

  'Indeed they don't.'

  'Why don't they?'

  'Wel-l-l, I hardly know. It's prejudice, I think. Yes, that is it--justprejudice. I reckon somebody that hadn't anything better to do starteda prejudice against it, some time or other, and once you get a capricelike that fairly going, you know it will last no end of time.'

  'That is true--perfectly true,' said the girl, reflectively. 'Like ourprejudice against soap, here--our tribes had a prejudice against soap atfirst, you know.'

  I glanced at her to see if she was in earnest. Evidently she was. Ihesitated, then said, cautiously:

  'But pardon me. They had a prejudice against soap? Had?'--with fallinginflection.

  'Yes--but that was only at first; nobody would eat it.'

  'Oh--I understand. I didn't get your idea before.'

  She resumed:

  'It was just a prejudice. The first time soap came here from theforeigners, nobody liked it; but as soon as it got to be fashionable,everybody liked it, and now everybody has it that can afford it. Are youfond of it?'

  'Yes, indeed; I should die if I couldn't have it--especially here. Doyou like it?'

  'I just adore it! Do you like candles?'

  'I regard them as an absolute necessity. Are you fond of them?'

  Her eyes fairly danced, and she exclaimed:

  'Oh! Don't mention it! Candles!--and soap!--'

  'And fish-interiors!--'

  'And train-oil--'

  'And slush!--'

  'And whale-blubber!--'

  'And carrion! and sour-krout! and beeswax! and tar! and turpentine! andmolasses! and--'

  'Don't--oh, don't--I shall expire with ecstasy!--'

  'And then serve it all up in a slush-bucket, and invite the neighboursand sail in!'

  But this vision of an ideal feast was too much for her, and she swoonedaway, poor thing. I rubbed snow in her face and brought her to, andafter a while got her excitement cooled down. By-and-by she drifted intoher story again:

  'So we began to live here in the fine house. But I was not happy. Thereason was this: I was born for love: for me there could be no truehappiness without it. I wanted to be loved for myself alone. I wantedan idol, and I wanted to be my idol's idol; nothing less than mutualidolatry would satisfy my fervent nature. I had suitors in plenty--inover-plenty, indeed--but in each and every case they had a fatal defect:sooner or later I discovered that defect--not one of them failed tobetray it--it was not me they wanted, but my wealth.'

  'Your wealth?'

  'Yes; for my father is much the richest man in this tribe--or in anytribe in these regions.'

  I wondered what her father's wealth consisted of. It couldn't be thehouse--anybody could build its mate. It couldn't be the furs--they werenot valued. It couldn't be the sledge, the dogs, the harpoons, the boat,the bone fish-hooks and needles, and such things--no, these were notwealth. Then what could it be that made this man so rich and broughtthis swarm of sordid suitors to his house? It seemed to me, finally,that the best way to find out would be to ask. So I did it. The girl wasso manifestly gratified by the question that I saw she had been achingto have me ask it. She was suffering fully as much to tell as I was toknow. She snuggled confidentially up to me and said:

  'Guess how much he is worth--you never can!'

  I pretended to consider the matter deeply, she watching my anxious andlabouring countenance with a devouring and delighted interest; and when,at last, I gave it up and begged her to appease my longing by tellingme herself how much this polar Vanderbilt was worth, she put her mouthclose to my ear and whispered, impressively:

  'Twenty-two fish-hooks--not bone, but foreign--made out of real iron!'

  Then she sprang back dramatically, to observe the effect. I did my levelbest not to disappoint her. I turned pale and murmured:

  'Great Scott!'

  'It's as true as you live, Mr. Twain!'

  'Lasca, you are deceiving me--you cannot mean it.'

  She was frightened and troubled. She exclaimed:

  'Mr. Twain, every word of it is true--every word. You believe me--you dobelieve me, now don't you? Say you believe me--do say you believe me!'

  'I--well, yes, I do--I am trying to. But it was all so sudden. So suddenand prostrating. You shouldn't do such a thing in that sudden way. It--'

  'Oh, I'm so sorry! If I had only thought--'

  'Well, it's all right, and I don't blame you any more, for you are youngand thoughtless, and of course you couldn't foresee what an effect--'

  'But oh, dear, I ought certainly to have known better. Why--'

  'You see, Lasca, if you had said five or six hooks, to start with, andthen gradually--'

  'Oh, I see, I see--then gradually added one, and then two, and then--ah,why couldn't I have thought of that!'

  'Never mind, child, it's all right--I am better now--I shall be overit in a little while. But--to spring the whole twenty-two on a personunprepared and not very strong anyway--'

  'Oh, it was a crime! But you forgive me--say you forgive me. Do!'

  After harvesting a good deal of very pleasant coaxing and petting andpersuading, I forgave her and she was happy again, and by-and-by she gotunder way with her narrative once more. I presently discovered that thefamily treasury contained still another feature--a jewel of some sort,apparently--and that she was trying to get around speaking squarelyabout it, lest I get paralysed again. But I wanted to know about thatthing, too, and urged her to tell me what it was. She was afraid. But Iinsisted, and said I would brace myself this time and be prepared,then the shock would not hurt me. She was full of misgivings, but thetemptation to reveal that marvel to me and enjoy my astonishment andadmiration was too strong for her, and she confessed that she had it onher person, and said that if I was sure I was prepared--and so on and soon--and with that she reached into her bosom and brought out a batteredsquare of brass, watching my eye anxiously the while. I fell overagainst her in a quite well-acted faint, which delighted her heart andnearly frightened it out of her, too, at the same time. When I came toand got calm, she was eager to know what I thought of her jewel.

  'What do I think of it? I think it is the most exquisite thing I eversaw.'

  'Do you really? How nice of you to say that! But it is a love, now isn'tit?'

  'Well, I should say so! I'd rather own it than the equator.'

  'I thought you would admire it,' she said. 'I think it is so lovely. Andthere isn't another one in all these latitudes. People have come all theway from the open Polar Sea to look at it. Did you ever see one before?'

  I said no, this was the first one I had ever seen. It cost me a pangto tell that generous lie, for I had seen a million of them in my time,this humble jewel of hers being nothing but a battered old New YorkCentral baggage check.

  'Land!' said I, 'you don't go about with it on your person this way,alone and with no protection, not even a dog?'

  'Ssh! not so loud,' she said. 'Nobody knows I carry it with me. Theythink it is in papa's treasury. That is where it generally is.'

  'Where is the treasury?'

  It was a blunt question, and for a moment she looked startled and alittle suspicious, but I said:

  'Oh, come, don't you be afraid about me. At home we have seventymillions of people, and although I say it myself that shouldn't,there is not one person among them all but would trust me with untoldfish-hooks.'

  This reassured her, and she told me where the hooks were hidden in thehouse. Then she wandered from her course to brag a little about the sizeof the sheets of transparent ice that formed the windows of the mansion,and asked me if I had ever seen their like at home, and I came rightout fr
ankly and confessed that I hadn't, which pleased her more than shecould find words to dress her gratification in. It was so easy to pleaseher, and such a pleasure to do it, that I went on and said--

  'Ah, Lasca, you are a fortunate girl!--this beautiful house, this daintyjewel, that rich treasure, all this elegant snow, and sumptuous icebergsand limitless sterility, and public bears and walruses, and noblefreedom and largeness and everybody's admiring eyes upon you, andeverybody's homage and respect at your command without the asking;young, rich, beautiful, sought, courted, envied, not a requirementunsatisfied, not a desire ungratified, nothing to wish for that youcannot have--it is immeasurable good-fortune! I have seen myriads ofgirls, but none of whom these extraordinary things could be truthfullysaid but you alone. And you are worthy--worthy of it all, Lasca--Ibelieve it in my heart.'

  It made her infinitely proud and happy to hear me say this, and shethanked me over and over again for that closing remark, and her voiceand eyes showed that she was touched. Presently she said:

  'Still, it is not all sunshine--there is a cloudy side. The burden ofwealth is a heavy one to bear. Sometimes I have doubted if it were notbetter to be poor--at least not inordinately rich. It pains me to seeneighbouring tribesmen stare as they pass by, and overhear them say,reverently, one to another, "There--that is she--the millionaire'sdaughter!" And sometimes they say sorrowfully, "She is rolling infish-hooks, and I--I have nothing." It breaks my heart. When I was achild and we were poor, we slept with the door open, if we chose, butnow--now we have to have a night-watchman. In those days my fatherwas gentle and courteous to all; but now he is austere and haughty andcannot abide familiarity. Once his family were his sole thought, but nowhe goes about thinking of his fish-hooks all the time. And his wealthmakes everybody cringing and obsequious to him. Formerly nobody laughedat his jokes, they being always stale and far-fetched and poor, anddestitute of the one element that can really justify a joke--the elementof humour; but now everybody laughs and cackles at these dismal things,and if any fails to do it my father is deeply displeased, and shows it.Formerly his opinion was not sought upon any matter and was not valuablewhen he volunteered it; it has that infirmity yet, but, nevertheless,it is sought by all and applauded by all--and he helps do the applaudinghimself, having no true delicacy and a plentiful want of tact. He haslowered the tone of all our tribe. Once they were a frank and manlyrace, now they are measly hypocrites, and sodden with servility. In myheart of hearts I hate all the ways of millionaires! Our tribe wasonce plain, simple folk, and content with the bone fish-hooks of theirfathers; now they are eaten up with avarice and would sacrifice everysentiment of honour and honesty to possess themselves of the debasingiron fish-hooks of the foreigner. However, I must not dwell on these sadthings. As I have said, it was my dream to be loved for myself alone.

  'At last, this dream seemed about to be fulfilled. A stranger came by,one day, who said his name was Kalula. I told him my name, and he saidhe loved me. My heart gave a great bound of gratitude and pleasure, forI had loved him at sight, and now I said so. He took me to his breastand said he would not wish to be happier than he was now. We wentstrolling together far over the ice-floes, telling all about each other,and planning, oh, the loveliest future! When we were tired at last wesat down and ate, for he had soap and candles and I had brought alongsome blubber. We were hungry and nothing was ever so good.

  'He belonged to a tribe whose haunts were far to the north, and I foundthat he had never heard of my father, which rejoiced me exceedingly. Imean he had heard of the millionaire, but had never heard his name--so,you see, he could not know that I was the heiress. You may be sure thatI did not tell him. I was loved for myself at last, and was satisfied. Iwas so happy--oh, happier than you can think!

  'By-and-by it was towards supper time, and I led him home. As weapproached our house he was amazed, and cried out:

  '"How splendid! Is that your father's?"

  'It gave me a pang to hear that tone and see that admiring light in hiseye, but the feeling quickly passed away, for I loved him so, and helooked so handsome and noble. All my family of aunts and uncles andcousins were pleased with him, and many guests were called in, and thehouse was shut up tight and the rag lamps lighted, and when everythingwas hot and comfortable and suffocating, we began a joyous feast incelebration of my betrothal.

  'When the feast was over my father's vanity overcame him, and he couldnot resist the temptation to show off his riches and let Kalula seewhat grand good-fortune he had stumbled into--and mainly, of course,he wanted to enjoy the poor man's amazement. I could have cried--but itwould have done no good to try to dissuade my father, so I said nothing,but merely sat there and suffered.

  'My father went straight to the hiding-place in full sight of everybody,and got out the fish-hooks and brought them and flung them scatteringlyover my head, so that they fell in glittering confusion on the platformat my lover's knee.

  'Of course, the astounding spectacle took the poor lad's breath away.He could only stare in stupid astonishment, and wonder how a singleindividual could possess such incredible riches. Then presently heglanced brilliantly up and exclaimed:

  '"Ah, it is you who are the renowned millionaire!"

  'My father and all the rest burst into shouts of happy laughter, andwhen my father gathered the treasure carelessly up as if it might bemere rubbish and of no consequence, and carried it back to its place,poor Kulala's surprise was a study. He said:

  '"Is it possible that you put such things away without counting them?"

  'My father delivered a vain-glorious horse-laugh, and said:

  '"Well, truly, a body may know you have never been rich, since a merematter of a fish-hook or two is such a mighty matter in your eyes."

  'Kalula was confused, and hung his head, but said:

  '"Ah, indeed, sir, I was never worth the value of the barb of one ofthose precious things, and I have never seen any man before who was sorich in them as to render the counting of his hoard worth while, sincethe wealthiest man I have ever known, till now, was possessed of butthree."

  'My foolish father roared again with jejune delight, and allowed theimpression to remain that he was not accustomed to count his hooks andkeep sharp watch over them. He was showing off, you see. Count them?Why, he counted them every day!

  'I had met and got acquainted with my darling just at dawn; I hadbrought him home just at dark, three hours afterwards--for the days wereshortening toward the six-months' night at that time. We kept up thefestivities many hours; then, at last, the guests departed and the restof us distributed ourselves along the walls on sleeping-benches, andsoon all were steeped in dreams but me. I was too happy, too excited, tosleep. After I had lain quiet a long, long time, a dim form passed by meand was swallowed up in the gloom that pervaded the farther end of thehouse. I could not make out who it was, or whether it was man or woman.Presently that figure or another one passed me going the other way. Iwondered what it all meant, but wondering did no good; and while I wasstill wondering I fell asleep.

  'I do not know how long I slept, but at last I came suddenly broad awakeand heard my father say in a terrible voice, "By the great Snow God,there's a fish-hook gone!" Something told me that that meant sorrowfor me, and the blood in my veins turned cold. The presentiment wasconfirmed in the same instant: my father shouted, "Up, everybody, andseize the stranger!" Then there was an outburst of cries and curses fromall sides, and a wild rush of dim forms through the obscurity. I flew tomy beloved's help, but what could I do but wait and wring my hands?--hewas already fenced away from me by a living wall, he was being boundhand and foot. Not until he was secured would they let me get to him. Iflung myself upon his poor insulted form and cried my grief out uponhis breast while my father and all my family scoffed at me and heapedthreats and shameful epithets upon him. He bore his ill usage with atranquil dignity which endeared him to me more than ever, and made meproud and happy to suffer with him and for him. I heard my father orderthat the elders of the tribe be called togethe
r to try my Kalula for hislife.

  '"What!" I said, "before any search has been made for the lost hook?"

  '"Lost hook!" they all shouted, in derision; and my father added,mockingly, "Stand back, everybody, and be properly serious--she is goingto hunt up that lost hook: oh, without doubt she will find it!"--whereatthey all laughed again.

  'I was not disturbed--I had no fears, no doubts. I said:

  '"It is for you to laugh now; it is your turn. But ours is coming; waitand see."

  'I got a rag lamp. I thought I should find that miserable thing in onelittle moment; and I set about that matter with such confidence thatthose people grew grave, beginning to suspect that perhaps they had beentoo hasty. But alas and alas!--oh, the bitterness of that search! Therewas deep silence while one might count his fingers ten or twelve times,then my heart began to sink, and around me the mockings began again, andgrew steadily louder and more assured, until at last, when I gave up,they burst into volley after volley of cruel laughter.

  'None will ever know what I suffered then. But my love was my supportand my strength, and I took my rightful place at my Kalula's side, andput my arm about his neck, and whispered in his ear, saying:

  '"You are innocent, my own--that I know; but say it to me yourself, formy comfort, then I can bear whatever is in store for us."

  'He answered:

  '"As surely as I stand upon the brink of death at this moment, I aminnocent. Be comforted, then, O bruised heart; be at peace, O thoubreath of my nostrils, life of my life!"

  '"Now, then, let the elders come!"--and as I said the words there was agathering sound of crunching snow outside, and then a vision of stoopingforms filing in at the door--the elders.

  'My father formally accused the prisoner, and detailed the happenings ofthe night. He said that the watchman was outside the door, and that inthe house were none but the family and the stranger. "Would the familysteal their own property?" He paused. The elders sat silent manyminutes; at last, one after another said to his neighbour, "This looksbad for the stranger"--sorrowful words for me to hear. Then my fathersat down. O miserable, miserable me! At that very moment I could haveproved my darling innocent, but I did not know it!

  'The chief of the court asked:

  '"Is there any here to defend the prisoner?"

  'I rose and said:

  '"Why should he steal that hook, or any or all of them? In another dayhe would have been heir to the whole!"

  I stood waiting. There was a long silence, the steam from the manybreaths rising about me like a fog. At last one elder after anothernodded his head slowly several times, and muttered, "There is forcein what the child has said." Oh, the heart-lift that was in thosewords!--so transient, but, oh, so precious! I sat down.

  '"If any would say further, let him speak now, or after hold his peace,"said the chief of the court.

  'My father rose and said:

  '"In the night a form passed by me in the gloom, going toward thetreasury and presently returned. I think, now, it was the stranger."

  'Oh, I was like to swoon! I had supposed that that was my secret; notthe grip of the great Ice God himself could have dragged it out of myheart. The chief of the court said sternly to my poor Kalula:

  '"Speak!"

  'Kalula hesitated, then answered:

  '"It was I. I could not sleep for thinking of the beautiful hooks. Iwent there and kissed them and fondled them, to appease my spirit anddrown it in a harmless joy, then I put them back. I may have droppedone, but I stole none."

  'Oh, a fatal admission to make in such a place! There was an awful hush.I knew he had pronounced his own doom, and that all was over. On everyface you could see the words hieroglyphed: "It is a confession!--andpaltry, lame, and thin."

  'I sat drawing in my breath in faint gasps--and waiting. Presently, Iheard the solemn words I knew were coming; and each word, as it came,was a knife in my heart:

  '"It is the command of the court that the accused be subjected to thetrial by water."

  'Oh, curses be upon the head of him who brought "trial by water" to ourland! It came, generations ago, from some far country that lies noneknows where. Before that our fathers used augury and other unsuremethods of trial, and doubtless some poor guilty creatures escaped withtheir lives sometimes; but it is not so with trial by water, which isan invention by wiser men than we poor ignorant savages are. By it theinnocent are proved innocent, without doubt or question, for they drown;and the guilty are proven guilty with the same certainty, for theydo not drown. My heart was breaking in my bosom, for I said, "He isinnocent, and he will go down under the waves and I shall never see himmore."

  'I never left his side after that. I mourned in his arms all theprecious hours, and he poured out the deep stream of his love upon me,and oh, I was so miserable and so happy! At last, they tore him fromme, and I followed sobbing after them, and saw them fling him into thesea--then I covered my face with my hands. Agony? Oh, I know the deepestdeeps of that word!

  'The next moment the people burst into a shout of malicious joy, andI took away my hands, startled. Oh, bitter sight--he was swimming! Myheart turned instantly to stone, to ice. I said, "He was guilty, and helied to me!" I turned my back in scorn and went my way homeward.

  'They took him far out to sea and set him on an iceberg that wasdrifting southward in the great waters. Then my family came home, and myfather said to me:

  '"Your thief sent his dying message to you, saying, 'Tell her I aminnocent, and that all the days and all the hours and all the minuteswhile I starve and perish I shall love her and think of her and blessthe day that gave me sight of her sweet face.'" Quite pretty, evenpoetical!

  'I said, "He is dirt--let me never hear mention of him again." And oh,to think--he was innocent all the time!

  'Nine months--nine dull, sad months--went by, and at last came the dayof the Great Annual Sacrifice, when all the maidens of the tribe washtheir faces and comb their hair. With the first sweep of my combout came the fatal fish-hook from where it had been all those monthsnestling, and I fell fainting into the arms of my remorseful father!Groaning, he said, "We murdered him, and I shall never smile again!"He has kept his word. Listen; from that day to this not a month goes bythat I do not comb my hair. But oh, where is the good of it all now!'

  So ended the poor maid's humble little tale--whereby we learn that sincea hundred million dollars in New York and twenty-two fish-hooks on theborder of the Arctic Circle represent the same financial supremacy, aman in straitened circumstances is a fool to stay in New York when hecan buy ten cents' worth of fish-hooks and emigrate.