Under the Covers

by K. C. Wells

  “So what do we do instead?”

  Jase had been thinking of nothing else. “We hang on till New Year’s,” he said emphatically. He hated that Chris sounded beaten, worn down.

  “And when we get a decent period of time that suits us both, one of us books a flight and doesn’t take no for an answer.”

  The grim determination in Chris’s tone made him smile. He’s not giving up on us. Then he had to add a codicil. Not yet, at least. It sounded like Chris’s resolve might be wearing thin. Not that Jase would blame him.

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “In which case, I’ll make plans to go stay with my parents. They’ll be thrilled to have me home.” A pause. “They want to meet you, of course. I didn’t tell them I hadn’t seen you for four months, so their chances of doing so were pretty slim.”

  Yeah, Chris’s resolve was wearing mighty thin. His heart pounding, Jase asked the question he’d been avoiding. “Still love me?”

  Chris chuckled. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, remember?”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  Chris paused before replying. “I look at my photos of you every day. I can be in the middle of a photo shoot with some absolutely beautiful guy who’s stark naked, and you know what? I’m thinking of you. Since Vegas, there hasn’t been a photo shoot like ours, not one that feels like it felt that day. So to answer your question, yes, I still love you, but I’m having to pull out photos to remind myself how you look, and that’s wrong. I ought to close my eyes and have you right there, in my head.” Another pause. “I’ll be thinking of you on Christmas Day. I’ll call you. But what I want? Is you in my arms.” Jase caught a doorbell in the background. “And that’s my next client. Sorry. I gotta go. Let’s talk soon, okay?”

  “Okay. Love you.” Jase waited, his heartbeat rapid.

  “Love you, Jase. Take care.” And he was gone.

  Jase stared at the phone for the longest time. For the first time, he was forced to admit what he’d tried to deny for a while now.

  This could break us. Over before we’ve had a chance to begin.

  When his phone rang, Jase’s breathing sped up at the idea that it might be Chris. When he saw Juliet’s number, he groaned inwardly. “Hey.” He strove to sound as normal as possible.

  “Have you ever seen any Coen brothers movies?”

  Jase chuckled. “Are you kidding me? Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona, True Grit…. I freaking love their movies.”

  “Then you’d hate the idea of auditioning for a part in their next movie, right? And it wouldn’t interest you in the slightest to know they approached me?”

  Holy hell. Jase’s mouth was about as dry as the Sahara. “Seriously?”

  Juliet laughed. “You sitting down, kid? Yeah, I got a call this morning. Apparently they saw some of the footage of your first movie, and they were impressed with what they saw.”

  “Wait—how did they get to see any of it? That’s not even out until late summer next year.”

  “What do I always tell you? It’s not what you know, it’s who you know—and in Hollywood, people talk. I’m guessing someone really liked your performance and the Coen brothers got to hear about it. And if you were a director and they asked to see some of the footage… hell, would you say no to the Coen brothers?” She sighed happily. “This is fantastic. I’ll go ahead and set up the audition, all right? They’re set to start shooting in the new year, so that’s perfect. The way I figure it, you’ll be done with your present filming just in time to work on this. I am so happy for you.” She snickered. “You gotta get the part first, but that’ll be a piece of cake. This is just the start.”

  When the call finished, Jase put down his phone and sagged into his chair. He had never been so conflicted in his life. His dream was finally coming true—but at what cost?

  Then he realized he was jumping the gun. I haven’t even got the part yet. Except the way things were going? It was like someone had sprinkled stardust all over him, and he couldn’t shake it off.

  Only thing was, right then all he wanted was a good strong dose of Chris.

  December 31, 2018

  THE red ball was about to descend in a few hours’ time, and Jase couldn’t have been more fucking miserable. He didn’t have the heart to do anything, not even watch the damn ball on TV.

  Besides, the only reason I’d be watching is that my heart is in New York.

  His phone warbled, and Jase gave it a cursory glance. He knew Chris would be calling at midnight, even with the time difference. That’s love. When he saw Chris’s text, his heart gave a little leap.

  Excited for 2019?

  Jase sighed as he typed a reply. Only if it brings me back to you.

  Aww. You want to see me?

  Stupid question. Of course I want to see you.

  It was a minute before Chris’s reply pinged. Then open the fucking door. I look like an idiot standing out here.

  Jase swore his heart almost stopped. He dropped the phone to the floor with a clatter, dashed to his front door, unbolted it, and yanked it open. Chris stood there, a thick scarf around his neck, a woolen hat covering his head, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his heavy-looking coat. “Wow. No wonder you’re here. It’s a sight warmer than New York.” He grinned. “You took your time.” That familiar twinkle in his eyes sent Jase’s spirits soaring.

  “Get your ass in here!” He pulled Chris inside, closed and bolted the door behind him, and grabbed him by the hand to lead him to the living room.

  Chris stopped him, enfolded Jase in his arms, and kissed him, his lips soft. Jase clung to Chris, afraid to let go.

  “Oh, sweetheart. If you only knew how happy I am to see you.”

  Chris’s eyes shone. “Show me.”

  That task required a bed, and Jase knew just where to find one.

  Who needs to watch a freaking red ball drop anyway? He had a better idea how to celebrate New Year’s.

  Valentine’s Day, 2019

  CHRIS looked for what had to be the twentieth time at the Valentine’s card Jase had sent him. It was beautiful. It was romantic as hell. But unless Jase was somehow tucked into the envelope too, it wasn’t what Chris wanted.

  They’d shared less than forty-eight hours at New Year’s, and Chris was starting to get tired of the aching distance between them. It looked like Jase’s career was skyrocketing, and Chris was happy for him, but Jase’s gain was their loss. Especially as his filming schedule didn’t show any signs of easing.

  This can’t go on. Chris didn’t want a long-distance relationship. He didn’t want to be living for the next visit, the next phone call, the next email…. And all of this was playing hell with his preparation for the exhibition. He had a deadline to keep, but he had no motivation. Jase occupied his thoughts, and finding the energy to chase down the models and take the photos was proving an enormous task. May was in sight, and he wasn’t ready. Not by a long shot.

  He sighed. “Then I guess I’d better do something about it.” And he wasn’t thinking about the photos.

  The only thing was, what he had in mind could go one of two ways. And one of them didn’t bear thinking about.

  March 2019

  JASE went down to the mailboxes for the building and opened his. Apart from the usual junk mail, he spied a long, creamy envelope, the address written by hand in a flowing script.

  A familiar script.

  He peered closer, and sure enough, there was Chris’s address. And just like that, Jase’s heartbeat slipped into a higher gear. Since when does anyone send letters anymore? He hurried up the staircase and along the veranda to his apartment, his mind working overtime. By the time he was seated in his chair, his fingers were trembling as he tore open the envelope.

  March 4, 2019

  Dear Jase,

  Now that I sit down to write this, everything I’d worked out in my head has disappeared. So I guess I’m winging it.

  You are an amazing man. No bullshit. You have so much
going for you—talent, looks, generosity, humor, kindness—and yet you’re this modest, unassuming guy who’s easy to talk to and who listens attentively. I scoured the internet for everything you’ve ever acted in, because I wanted to see that part of you too. I saw you in your commercials, your soaps…. You definitely have a future in acting, there’s no doubt about that.

  It’s whether or not we have a future that’s caused me to put pen to paper.

  Now don’t get me wrong. I love you. Nothing will ever change that. And I believe you when you say you love me. But we have to face facts here. If the last eight months or so have taught me anything, it’s that sometimes two people are not meant to be together. Or to put it another way—right people, wrong time. Lord knows we’ve tried to make this work. We gave it our best shot. We’ve called, we’ve sent texts, we’ve FaceTimed, we’ve emailed… and we’ve canceled more flights than I can bear to think about. The times we’ve gotten together have been glorious—but way too brief.

  So having said all that, I think we’re facing two options.

  1. We continue as we are, trying to make our damn lives mesh. But I’m going to be honest here. These short visits, the emails, the texts… it’s all so emotionally draining. And I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. My work is suffering, and before you start feeling guilty, it’s my fault. I’ve let it get this way. So, yes, we can struggle on, or…

  2. We call it a day.

  I think you can guess from the tone of this letter which option I’m proposing.

  We had a wonderful six days in Vegas. I’ll never forget them. And if we’d come back to New York and carried on with our lives, we’d probably have built on those six days, using them as the foundation for something wonderful. (Oh my God, I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Me and my analogies.) But I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

  You have your career, and I am so damn proud of you. I wouldn’t change that, believe me. You were meant for this. But… I don’t think I’m cut out for long-distance relationships, and if you’re honest, neither are you.

  There was a time when I thought having you in my life was sheer fantasy. Well, I had you there—for a brief moment—and it was awesome. So let’s finish it here, with our memories of being together. Because I’m sure there has to be someone out there who is perfect for you but who happens to live in the same time zone.

  I can’t wait to see your name on a billboard. To see you being interviewed on TV about your latest role. Because I truly believe that will come. So I’m going to wish you well in your career, and assure you I will always think of you with kind thoughts and affection. Yes, and with love.

  Thank you for making my fantasy a reality, even for a short while.

  Always yours,

  Chris

  Jase dropped the sheet onto his knee, his heart heavy. He’d known, deep down, that they couldn’t go on the way they were, a mess of missed opportunities and bad timing. But seeing it written there, so… final….

  But does it have to be? Is that how I want it to be?

  His present filming would be over by the start of April, hopefully. Juliet was already working on auditions, not to mention negotiating royalties for when his movies went to TV, DVD, and online. Any way he looked at it, three movies in a little over nine months was pretty damn phenomenal, and it looked like there were more to come.

  But if this is what I want, why does the prospect fill me with such… dread?

  His phone rang, and he gave a start, lost in his thoughts. Speak of the devil.

  “Hey, I was just thinking about you.”

  Juliet coughed. “Is there something you should have told me?”

  “What do you mean? About what?”

  “I mean, I’ve just seen a photo of your naked butt online. You got a secret career you haven’t told me about? Not that I’m complaining. It’s a very nice butt. It just kinda took me by surprise, that’s all. I didn’t know I should be looking for roles in those kinda movies.” She giggled.

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about.” And now he was starting to worry. Naked pictures online?

  Juliet sighed. “I’m yanking your chain. That photographer friend of yours in New York? He’s put out advance notice of an exhibition in May. It’s got a great title. The Man in the Mirror. There were a couple of teaser photos, and they were both of you.” She paused. “You did know about this, right? And if you did, how come I didn’t?”

  Shit. “Yeah, I knew about it. I just forgot to tell you.” His face grew warm. Chris was finally achieving his dream.

  “Are you going to fly to New York and attend the opening night?”

  “Well, that would depend on when it is and what I’m doing at the time. And speaking of which….”

  “Uh-oh, why do I get a bad feeling about this?”

  Jase’s heart pounded, but he had to get the words out. “We have to talk.”

  April

  JASE waited until the echo of his last words had faded before dropping to his knees, his heart hammering. He was emotionally and physically drained, but he knew in his heart he’d given it everything he had. He’d walked into that darkened theater feeling more alive than ever before, and from the moment he’d stepped onto that bare stage, felt that single spotlight on him, he knew he was ready. It didn’t matter that his flight had just touched down or that within two hours, he’d be on his way back to LA.

  If I pull this off, it’ll be worth the jet lag.

  “Thank you, Jase.” Ronny Felterman’s voice broke through the quiet. “And thank you for coming all this way. We have your agent’s contact details on file. We’ll be in touch once the auditions are over.”

  And that was that.

  Jase got to his feet and walked over to where he’d left his bag. “Thanks.” He wanted to ask how it had gone, just the tiniest bit of feedback, but he knew the score. He headed to the exit.

  “Oh, before you go, if you should be successful, rehearsals start the second week in May.” Ronny smiled. “In case you need to make plans.”

  Okay, that made Jase feel a whole lot better.

  He left the stage, out the stage door, and into the bright sunshine. The temptation to hail a taxi and go to Chris’s studio was huge, but he knew he was already pushing it.

  Just wait and see. If this came off, he’d see Chris soon.

  God, please?

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  May 3, 2019

  “YEAH, that’s it. Turn your head just a little toward the right. Perfect.” Chris clicked the shutter a couple of times.

  “Are we done yet?”

  Chris gave Michael a hard stare. “Whining is never attractive. Remember that. And we’ve been working for less than an hour.”

  “I know, but I’m hungry.” There was that whine again. “Surely you have enough photos by now?”

  Chris put down his camera. “This is your first book cover, correct?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you want to be on more book covers?”

  “Duh.” Michael rolled his eyes.

  “Then surely you want to make a good impression? Because that takes time. And of the two of us, who is the more qualified to say what would look good on a cover? Hmm?” He speared Michael with a hopefully piercing glance as he picked up the camera.

  Unfortunately Michael was unaffected by such things. “Yeah, okay. Just… speed it up a little? I’m meeting my girlfriend for dinner after this. I didn’t think it would take this long.”

  “You obviously came here because you know Chris is the best, so why don’t you let him get on with his job?”

  Chris spun around at the sound of that familiar voice, almost dropping his camera in the process. Jase was leaning against the wall, looking stunning in a pair of tight jeans, a white T-shirt that clung to his chest and abs, and a dark brown leather jacket.

  Chris lost the power of speech for a moment.

  Michael frowned. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Then his eyes widened. “
Hey, yeah, I know you! I’ve seen you on some of the books my girlfriend reads.”

  Jase smiled. “She likes romance?”

  Michael snorted. “Gay romance, more like. She’s got a whole shelf of those books. Come to think of it, you’re on most of ’em.”

  “And do you know how I got to be on that many?” Jase inclined his head toward Chris. “Because of that amazing guy there, who knows what he’s talking about. So if I were you, I’d follow his advice.”

  Michael blinked. “Sure thing.”

  Chris had never seen Michael so flustered. And right then, he didn’t want to see Michael at all. He cleared his throat. “Okay, seeing as you’re my last client for today, you can go early. On the proviso that if the publishing company is not happy with the photos, we organize a second shoot. You got that?”

  Michael nodded eagerly and proceeded to put on his shirt. Jase watched from his position, saying nothing. That was just fine by Chris, since it gave him a few moments to gather his scattered thoughts. He got on with putting away his camera, conscious of Jase standing a few feet away.

  I can’t believe he’s here. He’s really here. Then another thought flitted through Chris’s mind. But why? There hasn’t been a word from him since I wrote him that letter. It’s over between us. Isn’t it?

  With a final wave to Chris, Michael was gone, the door slamming shut behind him. Chris stood by his desk, his heart hammering. “Hey.”

  Jase walked over to him, coming to a halt a couple of feet away. “Surprise.” He gave a half smile.

  “Oh, it’s certainly that.” Damn it. Since when did talking get so difficult? “What brings you to New York?”

  “Apart from your exhibition?” Jase tilted his head to one side. “You were gonna tell me about it, weren’t you?”