Heart of a Kingdom

by Lisa Bain

  “Do you remember that time when I was little?” he began. “When we were out on that winter walk in the woods?”

  “How can I forget?” She laughed somewhat hesitantly, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

  Fintan’s ears perked up. He hadn’t heard this story before.

  “I remember it like it was yesterday,” Fynnigan continued, brushing the blonde hair out of his face. “You were on one of your extended visits. It was lightly snowing, and there was a few inches of snow on the ground. Highly unusual for us and I wanted to play in it, even though you thought we should stay indoors until my Dad got home. I wasn’t going to wait, so you came with me. We were on our normal path near the lake, the one we always took. You saw them first, the wolves. I didn’t know what was happening. I just remember you stopping and pushing me behind you. You pulled a big-ass knife out of your boot, without taking your eyes off the wolves. At the time I’d never seen anyone carry a weapon. No one did that in my country. I was terrified. Of you, to be honest, until I saw the wolves. I think I may have started crying at that point.”

  “You somehow found a big stick,” he continued, “and you called me your brave Fynn and told me to get face down on the ground and not look up, no matter what. I felt you stand over me. Then I heard you talking. To the wolves. You told the wolves to leave. You told them I was yours. You demanded they recognize you, that you would be their Queen. You told them they could not have me, and that they needed to leave or die. I was only twelve, but I thought you were insane. Why the fuck were you bothering talking to a wolf? And what was this Queen nonsense? You were an art buyer, for God’s sake. And did you really think you could fight a pack of wolves with a knife and a stick? I wanted to run, but something made me trust you, so I remained face down in the snow. Then I heard a low voice reply, saying you were a cub and no Queen yet, and to step out of the way or face the consequences. You know, for years I told myself I’d imagined that part. Then I was invited to the Kingdom and learned magic was real.”

  “After a while I heard my Dad’s voice shouting from the other side of the lake. I looked up and could see him in the distance. He’d heard about the wolf sightings in town and come looking for us. I’d never seen him look afraid before, but there was a look of terror on his face. He was running towards us. Then I heard the crack of that stick, a wet thud and the wolf cry out. I heard the snarls and you yell, ‘No!’ I remember the feel of the snow clumps falling on my back as you jumped over me to attack. Then more whimpering. I was definitely crying by then, with my face buried in the snow, hands over my head. It felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes. Then there was only the sound of my dad’s voice, still far away, and you reaching for me asking me if I was okay.

  “By the time Dad got there the wolves had run off. I was still crying like a little girl and dove into his arms. It wasn’t until he let me go to look me over that I finally looked around. You were standing there covered in blood, some of it your own. There was a dead wolf lying in the snow a few feet away. Your black hair was blowing in the light breeze and the snow covered it like white lace. The sun had come out behind you and you were glowing with a pink halo like a warrior Goddess in one of those comic books I liked to read. I already loved you as my grown-up American friend because you never treated me like a kid, but that was the day you became my hero. I believed then that you were fearless and could do anything. For fuck’s sake you fought wolves and won! You saved me. I now understand you were afraid, but you did it anyway. You’re still my hero, Libby. I know you’re afraid, but this is just like the wolves, only now you have me and everyone else. You aren’t fighting this battle alone. You are still that warrior Goddess I saw that day. I believe in you.”

  Libby smiled through the tears that were now falling freely. She reached up and brushed the hair out of his face, resting her hand on his cheek.

  “My brave Fynn. My Fynnigan. It has been my honor to be part of your life. I’ve been blessed to watch you grow up into the amazing man you are. The day you agreed to join the knighthood was one of the happiest in my life. I still sometimes see that thoughtful sweet boy who stole my heart with those pink cheeks, brilliant blue eyes, and endless questions. I don’t know anything about being a hero, but I will do anything to protect those I love. And I love you too, kiddo.”

  She paused a few moments, replaying the memories, running her fingers over the faint bite marks that scarred her forearm, lasting reminders of that day in the woods. “Do you want to know a secret?” she asked.

  “Always,” he answered, blue eyes sparkling.

  “You know my name means Dreamer, but did you know I sometimes dream about the future?”

  “I’ve heard talk,” he said cautiously, wondering where this was going.

  She sighed, deep in the memory. “I dreamt about you before I ever met you. Before I even met your dad. The first time your dad introduced us, I recognized you immediately. It was always the same dream. The two of us at the lake in the woods, with the wolves in the winter. It’s how I knew not to let you go alone that day, and how I knew to go armed. Well, at least as armed as would be allowed in your country. You loved those walks, and with the added enticement of the snow, I knew you’d go without me if I didn’t go with you. It was safe back then, and your dad never worried when you went off on your own. But that day was different because I knew what was coming. Since I couldn’t talk you out of it, I went with you. Truth be told, I treasured our daily walks. Those woods are still one of my favorite places. Leaving you to return home was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

  “For fuck’s sake! You knew? Really? Damn, Libby! You just leveled up to superhero status. Although you should maybe not tell Dad about the dreams. You know how he is about the stuff he can’t science. He never spoke of that day again. I’m not sure what freaked him out more, you standing there covered in blood after killing a wolf, the fact there were wolves that close to home, or that I could have been killed.”

  “Oh my God, can you even imagine?” she laughed. “Poor Bas, his engineer brain might explode. I have a hard enough time accepting the dreams and they’ve been part of my life since I was a child.”

  They both started laughing and he pulled her up off the wall to walk back to the armory. When he was a boy, she could rest her arm comfortably on his shoulders. He was small for his age back then. Now he was a head taller than she was and burly like a Viking. He reminded her a lot of his dad when she’d first met them. Now it was reversed, and he was the one with his arm on her shoulders, and she had her arm around his waist. Like Kurtis and Dyanna, Fynnigan was one of those young people who were as close as she’d ever get to being a mother. She hated physical violence but would do whatever it took to protect those she loved. Just like the day she stood over him facing off against a pack of wolves. He was right. She would face Jasper no matter what, and this time she wouldn’t be alone.

  For the first time in years, she didn’t fight back against the rest of the memories that went with that story. The anger and fear from Bastiaan. The realization he would never accept her for who she really was; who she was meant to be, and the tears as she packed up and left shortly thereafter. They’d kept in touch, mostly about Fynnigan, and would run into each other off and on over the years on their travels, but things would never be the same again. Libby examined the pieces of those memories. She realized she no longer resented Bas for how things ended. In that moment, she also forgave her younger self for the choices she’d made. She smiled as a flood of pink light and love washed over her. She couldn’t really explain how it all worked, but she liked it. She wondered if this was what Maggie and the other spirits meant by figuring out who the real Libby was, and that acknowledging the past was part of it. She knew Michael would be proud of her for figuring it out on her own.

  Libby didn’t know that Bas had witnessed her leaping over his son to defend him from the wolf. He was at a distance but had seen it all. He saw the wolf attack the woman he love
d, and then saw her kill it. He also saw the flash of blinding pink light that seemed to shoot out of her. His brain couldn’t process it, so he refused to acknowledge it.

  Fintan remained seated on the other side of the stone wall, deep in thought. Sometimes he struggled to wrap his mind around the magic-filled life that Aisling led. But the imagery of Van der Linden’s story was burned into his brain, and he knew he had to find a way to incorporate it into Libby’s story. His friend, Libby, the Queen of Wolves? Wolf Queen? Something with wolves needed to be included. That line about the lace snow veil; he’d never admit it to the young knight, but that was a great line.

  Chapter

  Dragons, Duels and Duty

  Libby woke up to the sun streaming through the open window and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore below. She rolled over and reached for Dale, before remembering he wasn’t there. That he’d never be there again. That was enough to wake the rest of her brain and remember where she was. She was in her top floor suite at the Caisleáin Óir Hotel in Annagry, one of her favorite places in Donegal. The owners always took great care of her, and in this case all fifteen of their traveling party. This was always her first choice when she came through town. Annagry was one of those border towns that made a perfect gateway between the Kingdom and the world outside the barrier. With a population of just a few hundred people, and off the beaten path of tourists, they didn’t have to be as careful coming and going. She wanted a comfortable place to rest before confronting Jasper.

  She got out of bed to stand at the balcony and admire the view. The McDevitts’ ancestors had done well selecting this location to build their bar and then later the hotel. Nothing would ever come between them and the view of the North Atlantic. She noticed Awen and Harley on the rocks below, doing their morning yoga. Several others were already out on a morning run. She could see the uninhabited island she’d requested for the duel off in the distance but knew that’s not where the duel would happen. That was still a good two days’ ride away, but this was on the way and preferable to camping.

  The poet in her loved the meanings behind names. The literal translation of Caisleáin Óir was Palace of Gold, but that could also be stretched to mean building palaces in the sky or to have dreams that seemed impossible. Since Aisling meant Dreamer, it seemed like a good match and an appropriate place for her to set out from for her impossible duel. Her real-life poet agreed, and Fintan was practically drooling when he’d made the observation himself.

  A soft knock on the door was her morning coffee being delivered. She smiled, grateful. The McDevitts knew her well, but they took great care of all of their guests. Anticipating guest needs was one of their talents, and the level of service and care they provided gave visitors the feeling of being a guest in someone’s home. Despite the fact they’d filled the hotel so there were no other guests, she also knew that at least one of her team was hovering close by in the hallway. She opened the door to find Will was on duty. “Join me for coffee, Will?” she asked.

  He smiled, “How can I turn down a beautiful woman inviting me to her room for coffee?” he joked. She laughed. She was already wondering what Anita was cooking down in the restaurant. Her food was famous, and Libby would be sad to leave it behind for yet more campfire cooking. Oh, and there was still the matter of battling a dragon. She wasn’t in a hurry for that either.

  The day of the duel dawned bright and sunny. It was surreal to think this was it. It had been over a year since Dale had been cursed, and almost a year since he’d died. Jasper thought he was giving himself an edge by choosing the duel location at the site of Skarra’s camp and the beginning of Dale’s long slow painful death. The location was harder on Geoffrey and Hoss than it was on Libby since they’d been there, but the timing was rough on the entire group. Libby had made amazing progress, but the pain of the anniversary hit her hard, and Awen and Fintan were working overtime to keep the Queen’s energy clear and her strength up. Both were exhausted.

  Geoffrey’s stress level was even higher because of the private conversations he’d had with Awen. She’d explained that she was the back-up plan. That should Jasper fail to honor the terms, she’d use magic to destroy him before he had a chance to kill Libby. While she wasn’t strong enough on her own, pouring her life force into the spell would make it work. Just like Skarra did when she killed Dale. They couldn’t allow Libby to die. The part of him that was Senior Knight knew it was a sound plan and may be necessary to save the Kingdom. The part of him that loved her, refused to accept that she’d sacrifice herself, even if it was the heroic thing to do. Damn it!

  Geoffrey and the knights had set up a perimeter patrol, secure in the knowledge that nothing would get through the LIWs. It had been weeks since Libby went anywhere without a full security detail. No matter what Michie had said, they didn’t trust Jasper to honor the terms of the deal. After Galen, they knew that they couldn’t leave anything to chance.

  Libby was deep in meditation in her tent when Michie came to her. Today she was dressed like Libby, in modern tactical gear. Even her hair was cut short in a cute modern bob. It was a dark blue, not too different from Libby’s. Outside of the body armor, she could have been any young person cruising the streets of Tokyo, but with the gear and blue hair she was almost an anime.

  “Well Mago-chan, this is it.”

  “Do you think I can do it, Grandmother?”

  “Of course. You are stronger than I ever was, since I didn’t have magic. I also didn’t have the benefit of me as a teacher.” She winked.

  “Thank you for everything.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. You still have to defeat the dragon.”

  “Any last minute tips?”

  “Yes. Do not forget who you are. You are the Queen. The only force in this universe powerful enough to stop you, is you. Remain confident. Remember we are all here with you, and more importantly that we believe in you.”

  With that, the rest of the Spirit Council appeared, along with one extra.

  “Dale?”

  Before he could answer, her father spoke. “Aisling Elisabeth, you’ve been preparing for this moment your entire life. You’d always believed you’d married a king, but you were the one who was destined to rule the Kingdom, just like Michie. Never forget who you are.”

  Dale jumped in. “He’s right. You gave me this life. You were my Queen only because you made me King. You can do it, Babe; I know you can.”

  “I love you,” she said. “I love all of you. I do this knowing I have all of you at my back. I won’t let you down.”

  “Don’t worry about us, young one,” Michie encouraged. “We love you. No matter what.”

  Maggie chimed in, “And it’s all about love. At the end of the day, love is all that matters.” Maggie placed her hand on Libby’s heart center. “Whenever you feel doubt, you know where to return to; to who you really are.”

  Libby nodded and opened her eyes as she heard Awen and Scarlett talking outside.

  With a big sigh, and a “Let’s do this,” under her breath, she stood up, straightened her crown, and stepped outside.

  As Libby emerged into the sunlight, her team gathered around her. This was it. There was no more preparation to be done. There was nothing else for them to do but wait. It was all up to her now.

  Will looked at her closely and nodded approvingly. She’d come a long way in the last year. It was hard to remember the broken shell of a woman who couldn’t stand without help and needed a machine to breathe. The wounded woman who could barely hold her sword and shield was now a fierce warrior–one who had a real chance of defeating a dragon. He was proud of her, standing tall in her enchanted tactical armor, blue hair blowing in the breeze, sun behind her creating a glowing halo that you didn’t have to possess magic to see.

  Fintan noted all of it as well, already mentally composing the tale of her epic victory. He was scared for her, of course, but felt surprisingly hopeful. She was ready. He felt the excitement in his soul that comes when you
can feel you’re at a pivotal moment in history. It was up to him to make sure the future knew what happened here today.

  Dyanna and Kurtis were nervous but in awe of their aunt Libby. Dyanna was memorizing every detail about her stance, and the words that she was saying. Libby was always good at words when it counted. This is what it is to be a queen, she thought. To face your fears and do whatever it takes to protect your people, no matter how much it hurts. Aunt Libby is so badass!

  Kurtis thought about how proud their uncle Dale would be if he could see her right now. The two young people had matured over the course of their journey. They were both scared but stood tall in their matching body armor and emerald cloaks emblazoned with the royal ash tree. Libby had selected them, instead of Geoffrey and Scarlett, to accompany her to the duel. She’d received a lot of flak about that decision, but it was hers to make. They felt proud. Excited. And scared.

  Libby looked around at the group assembled. She loved them beyond description. She nodded at Fynnigan who set up a video conference call from his phone back to the palace so the knights and LIWs left behind, the Co-Regents, and wizards could be part of this.

  “There’s no precedent on how to address your bravest warriors, fiercest friends, and your family on the day you’re supposed to fight a dragon.” She smiled and nervous chuckles made their way around the group. “I can’t thank you enough for your loyalty. Without your love and protection, I wouldn’t have survived losing Dale. You’ve not only saved me, you’ve saved our kingdom, and both the physical and spiritual realms. Now it’s my turn. I would gladly lay down my life for you, but that’s not how this works. Today I will live for you, for our people, and for the rest of the world.”

  The small group burst into applause and cheering on both sides of the video link. Libby nodded at her niece and nephew. It was time to go. They’d been working with Libby daily for months, and knew they had important roles to play. They weren’t going to let her down. Kurtis wordlessly extended a hand to help Dyanna into her saddle, before mounting his horse. Then they headed out to confront the dragon. Following protocol, the rest of the party followed a short distance behind.