Fever Dreams

by Nicole Jordan

  He had fallen in love with her.

  Not a mere boy’s yearning, either, but an adult love, powerful and vibrant and terrifying.

  For a long moment Ryder sat stunned as the emotion he’d denied needing all his life abruptly swamped him. God help him, he loved Eve. He would have no defenses against her now at all.

  Not that he ever had. He’d never had any choice in loving her. Certainly not since coming to London and meeting her again.

  Beside him, he felt Eve shift slightly. When he turned his head, their gazes locked and Ryder’s breath caught in a hard knot in his throat.

  He yearned to reach out and clasp her hand, just for the pleasure of touching her, yet he didn’t dare. He had shocked her yesterday with his overwhelming passion, when he’d lost complete control. He couldn’t acknowledge the violent flame around his heart to her now, for fear of driving her away.

  Eve wasn’t ready to hear of his feelings yet. He could tell by her sudden stillness as she became aware of him, of his nearness. Her lips had parted, as if she was remembering the feel of him against her.

  Forcibly Ryder tore his gaze away to keep from unnerving her any further.

  At least now, however, he knew exactly what he wanted. He had vowed to win Eve for his bride, but he yearned for far more: He wanted to win her heart.

  His life had held little softness or warmth, and little love beyond a small circle of treasured friends. But he wanted to change that. He wanted to come out of the shadows, where he had lived for too long. He wanted a future with Eve—with love, with warmth, with laughter. The kind of life he’d seen others have.

  His mother had known true love with his father. Some of his friends did as well. Caro and Max. Thorne and Diana. Deverill and Antonia. Ryder wanted that kind of love for himself. He understood now why seeing his friends’ happiness had left him feeling hollow inside. Because of sheer envy.

  He wanted fervently to believe his dream of a future with Eve could someday come to fruition. The vision stirred a longing that made him ache inside.

  It was a tiny glimpse of heaven. One that for now was out of reach, Ryder reminded himself grimly.

  Keeping Eve safe had to be his main objective. It had made his heart hurt to see the anxiety behind her bright smile. Since the assault yesterday, he’d known he would have to set aside any other aspirations in favor of stopping her assailant. Winning her heart would have to wait.

  When he heard his name being called, Ryder shook himself out of his somber musings. “I beg your pardon, Lady Claire,” he murmured. “What did you say?”

  Claire gave him an understanding smile. “Only that I am glad you are escorting us to the Sudbury ball this evening. I much prefer your company to any of my other suitors.”

  “I am honored,” Ryder replied politely, realizing that he had missed half the conversation.

  “To be truthful,” Claire asserted, “I wish we didn’t have to attend. I would be perfectly happy to spend the evening quietly at home. In fact, every evening for the rest of the Season.”

  Eve took exception to Claire’s pronouncement. “You won’t be able to find a husband if you remain at home.”

  “I know, but it is all so wearying.” She sighed. “I have met countless marital prospects, and they have all bored me to tears.”

  Looking puzzled, Eve scrutinized her sister. “There are at least three gentlemen whom you said interested you.”

  “I have since changed my mind.”

  “I think you simply have not given them much of a chance.”

  “But I have, Eve. And I cannot see that any of them will improve with time. They are all so…superficial, with no substance. I cannot admire them…not the way I admire Sir Alex.”

  When Claire smiled at Ryder, Eve pressed her lips together in a worried frown. “Perhaps you merely need the opportunity to come to know them better, Claire. I could arrange a day’s outing to Richland for a picnic, for example. Or better yet, a house party at Hayden Park. It would allow you to become acquainted under less formal circumstances.”

  Claire shook her head. “I doubt that familiarity will do more than breed contempt. No, the trouble is that I cannot even like them very well, Eve. I certainly can’t imagine myself falling in love with any of them. And I have grown utterly weary of the marriage game. Aren’t you weary of it yet, Sir Alex?”

  Ryder hesitated to answer, not knowing where she was leading the discussion.

  Thoughtfully Claire put a finger to her lips as she surveyed him. “You know, Sir Alex, it would be so much easier if we could simply marry each other. You would be spared all the bother of choosing a bride, and I would be saved from utter boredom. And Eve would be grateful to have my future secure, wouldn’t you, Eve?”

  Ryder’s eyebrow’s shot up while Eve stared blankly at her sister. Wondering what the devil Claire was up to, he feigned a smile. “The offer is tempting, but you have no desire to wed me, Lady Claire.”

  “Oh, but I do. I am quite fond of you. And you are fond of me too, I know it.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Well, if I must marry someone, I would far rather it be you. What objections would you have if I were to throw my cap at you?”

  When she gave him a flirtatious look from under her eyelashes, Ryder was struck with the suspicion that Claire was trying to rouse her sister’s jealousy.

  Rather than exhibit jealousy, however, Eve looked troubled. “Claire, your jest about throwing your cap at Sir Alex is not particularly amusing.”

  “But I am not jesting,” her sister replied innocently. “Oh, I know that the pinnacle of any young lady’s matrimonial aspirations should be to land a wealthy nobleman, but I don’t need wealth or a title. I want a husband I may be comfortable with. Sir Alex fits that bill. And at least he could be confident that I don’t simply want him for his fortune.”

  Ryder cast a glance at the aunts. Both ladies had stopped their needlework and were staring at Claire as if she had grown two more heads. They might be grateful that he had saved Eve’s life, but not enough to entertain the idea of his marrying into their family.

  Looking agitated, Eve rose suddenly to her feet. “Claire, may I speak to you alone?”

  Her guileless expression never changed as she said, “Certainly.” Rising as well, Claire followed Eve from the room.

  Ryder sat unmoving for a long moment, torn between dread, amusement, and the urge to shake Claire for her interference, no matter how well intentioned. If she was trying to rouse Eve’s jealousy, he sincerely doubted it would work. Instead, it would likely only raise her defenses further.

  “You don’t mean to marry Claire, do you, Sir Alex?” Cecil asked, looking puzzled.

  “I doubt it will come to that,” Ryder said evasively.

  “Good,” Cecil said in relief. “Can’t think what maggot has gotten into her head. You two wouldn’t suit in the least,” he added, shaking his own head at the vagaries of the feminine mind.

  Chapter

  Eight

  “You would not seriously contemplate marriage to Ryder, would you?” Eve asked as soon as she guided her sister into the library and closed the door behind them.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” Claire replied sweetly.

  “Because you are wholly unsuited to each other,” Eve said, feeling an inexplicable anxiety. She couldn’t picture her reserved young sister entering a marriage of convenience with her undeniable opposite—a dangerous, intensely passionate man like Ryder. Claire was no match for him.

  Claire, however, merely gazed back serenely. “You were the one who insisted he would make a splendid husband, Eve. His qualifications far surpass any of my other suitors, you know it. Sir Alex is a wonderful man, like a dear brother to me. I am much more comfortable with him than with any of the London bucks who are courting me.”

  Unable to dispute that assertion, Eve found herself struggling to reply. She couldn’t fathom why she felt such a desperate need to protest her sister’s wild notion, except that it f
elt entirely wrong. She could understand how Claire would be drawn to Ryder. His devilish charm and wicked allure might appeal to other women, but his chief attraction for Claire was that he set her at ease, treating her like a cherished younger sister.

  “I know you are fond of each other, but simply because you are comfortable together is not always the best basis for marriage. Sir Alex clearly doesn’t regard you in a romantic light, and brotherly affection is unlikely to lead to love.”

  “Perhaps love isn’t so important after all,” Claire responded. “As Mama is fond of saying, love isn’t necessary to a prosperous union.”

  Eve winced, hearing the echo of their mother’s voice remarking disdainfully, People of our class cannot let themselves be swayed by love. She shook her head. “Love is not necessary, true, but you must have at least some interests and aspirations in common to sustain a marriage over the long years ahead.”

  “You are worried I will be miserable wed to Sir Alex.”

  Eve fell silent. It was true that she fervently wanted Claire to marry the right husband and be spared the loneliness and misery she herself had endured in her cold marriage. But that wasn’t her only objection.

  Claire spoke before she could marshal her chaotic thoughts. “I don’t believe I would be miserable, Eve. In fact I imagine I would be perfectly happy with Sir Alex. And I would do my utmost to make him happy as well. If he proposes, I think I should accept.”

  Eve felt her stomach knot. She stared at her sister in dismay.

  “Besides,” Claire went on as if she hadn’t just dealt a painful blow, “marriage to me will help Sir Alex become accepted by society. Isn’t that what you want for him?”

  Certainly she did. But it was one thing to help Ryder find a bride; it was quite another for that bride to be her younger sister. Eve didn’t want to think of him marrying Claire and becoming such an intimate a part of their family, for it would be impossible to keep any real distance from him then.

  What was more, she didn’t want to envision Ryder touching Claire or showing her sister such intimate pleasure as he’d shown her.

  Which was ludicrous when she had no claim to Ryder herself.

  She certainly couldn’t share her irrational arguments with her sister, however.

  “I do want acceptance for him,” Eve finally replied, “but I want more for you to be happy with your chosen partner in life. And I don’t want you making an irrevocable mistake simply for the sake of expediency.”

  “You cannot keep me wrapped in swaddling forever,” Claire said softly.

  Eve took a deep breath, striving for calm. “Very well. Perhaps I am being overprotective. I won’t press further just now. But there is no need for you to make any hasty decision. Promise me you won’t accept any proposals for the time being, from Sir Alex or anyone else. I want you to have adequate time to make a suitable match, and two weeks are not nearly enough to judge.” When her sister hesitated, Eve’s tone sharpened. “Promise me, Claire.”

  “Very well, I promise. But I very much doubt I will find anyone I would rather wed than Sir Alex.”

  Watching as Claire let herself from the library, Eve stood quite still, feeling a desperation far out of proportion to her sister’s pronouncement. In the eyes of society, Claire and Ryder would make an acceptable match. And admittedly Claire would be lucky to have a husband like him.

  Yet she couldn’t bear to think of it, Eve acknowledged, biting her lower lip.

  She raised a hand to her aching brow. Somehow she would have to change Claire’s mind about wanting to marry Ryder—or alternatively convince Ryder not to propose.

  Ryder was waiting for Claire at the end of the corridor when she emerged from the library. Upon seeing him, she gave a guilty start and took a step in the opposite direction, as if hoping to slip away. But he crooked a finger at her, and with a sigh, she went to meet him.

  “Just what in the devil are you up to, minx?” he asked, keeping his voice low to prevent his words from carrying down the hall to where Macky stood performing his footman duties.

  “I am only trying to help you win Eve,” Claire admitted in a whisper. “I thought you could pretend to court me and I would pretend to return your interest.”

  “Forgive me,” Ryder said dryly, “if I fail to see how that would help anything.”

  “Why, by shaking Eve out of her complacency, of course. She is much too indifferent about your other marital candidates, but if she thinks you are considering me for your bride, she will eventually realize that she wants you for herself.”

  Able to follow her logic but suspecting her scheme had backfired, Ryder had difficulty biting back his exasperation. “I appreciate your concern, my sweet, but I prefer to fight my own battles.”

  Claire dimpled. “Well, it did provoke a reaction from Eve. She is highly disgruntled at the thought of us marrying.”

  “I don’t doubt it. She will defend you like a mother tiger, only now she will see me as the villain.”

  Claire instantly sobered. “She only wants my happiness, Sir Alex, so that her sacrifice won’t be in vain. She gave up her future for us, you know.”

  “I know,” Ryder said grimly.

  “And I was afraid to wait much longer, since Eve doesn’t seem to be responding to your subtle wooing.” Claire gave him an intent scrutiny. “You do still want to win her, don’t you, Sir Alex?”

  “Certainly I do, but I’ll thank you not to interfere from now on.”

  “I am sorry. I merely thought I could help. If you like, I will tell her that I have changed my mind.”

  “No,” Ryder said sternly. “Pray, don’t do me any more favors. Although…” He frowned thoughtfully. “You may have given me an opportunity to shake your sister out of her complacency, as you termed it.”

  Claire clapped her hands together with delight. “Then you have thought of a new plan! I knew you would.”

  “Enough, minx.” Placing his hands on Claire’s shoulders, he spun her around and aimed her back toward the morning room. “Now, go join the others and leave me to handle my affairs my own way.”

  When she returned to the morning room, Eve was glad to learn that Ryder had taken his leave. And eventually her family dispersed, leaving her in privacy.

  An hour ago, Eve would have felt uneasy being alone, knowing that her life was menaced by a furtive assailant. But now Mr. Macklin was standing guard just down the hall. And Claire’s recent declaration was worrisome enough to keep her from dwelling on anything else.

  She hadn’t yet managed to arrange an ideal match for her sister. The slow pace thus far, however, was not due to a lack of appropriate suitors. The dowry provided Claire by Richard was adequate enough to entice all but the poorest candidates. And Claire seemed to have lost much of her shyness, in large part due to Ryder.

  Which was perhaps the real difficulty. Claire had had no opportunity to become comfortable with any of her other prospects.

  Determined to redouble her efforts, Eve put her mind to solving the dilemma. Her notion of a house party was actually a good one, for it would give several young gentlemen the chance to seriously court her sister. And the sooner, the better.

  She could hold a weeklong gathering at Hayden Park, Eve decided, beginning next week. But she would have to hurry and make up the guest list right away in order to give everyone enough advance notice. And perhaps she could ask the aunts to help her write out the invitations this afternoon.

  She would not invite Ryder, though. And not simply because she was afraid of her own feelings for him, but because she wanted to keep him away from her sister. Eve had little doubt the aunts would support her, for they had been appalled at the idea of Claire marrying Ryder. She could use the excuse of Drucilla’s birthday next week as a valid justification for the party.

  Eve spent the next half hour at her desk, composing a long list of prospective guests for the house party. Besides her family and suitors for Claire, she would have to provide a proper mix of people to ensure the righ
t atmosphere. Some elderly ladies to keep the aunts company and to act as chaperones for the younger crowd. Perhaps some young ladies Claire’s age and some friends of Cecil’s—

  “Do you want to go riding with me, Evie?” her brother asked from immediately behind her.

  Starting violently, Eve clasped a hand over her heart and glowered at Cecil. “Will you please give me some warning before sneaking up on me?”

  “Beg pardon,” he said contritely. “Should have known you were still jumpy after yesterday.”

  Eve couldn’t dispute him; even though she had something else to preoccupy her, her nerves were still fragile as glass.

  “I merely came to ask you to ride,” Cecil explained. “You have been cooped up in the house since the mishap yesterday.”

  “Thank you, but I cannot spare the time. I must speak with Drucilla and Beatrice to gain their approval for the house party and then get off the invitations this afternoon.”

  “What house party?”

  “The one we are holding next week at Hayden Park, to give Claire a more comfortable setting in which to be courted. I’ve made up a list of potential guests. You might review it to see if I have included the friends you would like to invite.”

  Surprisingly Cecil didn’t argue. Instead he took the list from her and sprawled in a nearby armchair to read. “Yes, these chaps will do. But I see you left off Sir Alex’s name.”

  “Because I don’t mean to invite him,” Eve responded. “The whole point of the party is to separate Claire from Sir Alex, so she can concentrate on becoming better acquainted with her real suitors.”

  Cecil frowned at Eve. “But you must invite him. How else will he be able to protect you if he remains here in London?”

  “I expect Mr. Macklin would be willing to come if I ask him.”

  Her brother’s expression held genuine dismay. “That would be a grave mistake, Eve. No one will take better care of you than Sir Alex, not even Macky.”

  “I’m certain Macky will be able to provide adequate protection.”