My Truth My Time My Turn

by Shelia E. Bell

  “All right now, Victoria. May I have your phone number? Maybe when I’m in Memphis we can have lunch or dinner sometimes. No pressure, of course.”

  “No pressure and I’d like that, Stiles.”

  30

  "There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with." Harry Crews

  Ian and his new friend got ready for church. Ian hadn’t walked through the doors of Holy Rock since Xavier’s accident. He had no desire to and he was only attending today because he hoped Xavier would be there. If Xavier wasn’t there or if he didn’t give him the time of day then Ian was certain he was going to be done with trying to prove himself.

  Xavier decided he was not going to return to Holy Rock until he was on his feet again. He hated being confined to a wheelchair and unable to get around like he was used to doing. Every time he transferred to that dumb wheelchair, it reminded him of what he’d done. He was sick of beating up on himself. The only way he believed he could move forward with his life was to be completely healthy and whole again. Until that day came, he would stay inside, away from the public eye. Enough of the coddling that he got from well-meaning people at Holy Rock. Plus, he didn’t want to run into Ian. He thought of him often, and part of him missed him terribly, but the other part of him blamed Ian for the bad decisions he’d made, starting with the night he let Ian talk him into going to the club.

  Initially, after the accident, he didn’t remember much of what happened, but as time lapsed, his memory began to return.

  No, he hadn’t gone inside the club, but still look what had happened—he saw Leo, had to listen to his taunts again, and the end result was Leo got himself murdered. Good for him. Forgive me, God but it’s how I feel.

  “You should go, Pepper. You’ve been here all weekend. I know you’re sick of being stuck in this apartment with me. So go on to church.”

  “I am not going to leave you by yourself, Xavier.”

  “I’ll be okay. I know how to transfer into my chair if I want something to eat, or if I have to go to the bathroom. Why do you think they kept me in rehab for a month after I was released from the hospital? It was to teach me how to maneuver with this cast. So, please, go. Tell my mother I’m okay so she won’t be worried.”

  Pepper thought for a minute before making her decision. “Okay, but I’m going to the first service and then I’m coming back.”

  “But the installation services aren’t taking place until the third service.”

  “I don’t care; I’m not interested in some installation service. They’re boring.”

  “Okay, suit yourself. Just as long as you go. Do you have something to wear?”

  “Sure. I washed the clothes I left over here this past week. I’ll put on a pair of jeans and a pullover.”

  “Okay, cool.”

  Pepper left out of the bedroom and went into the bathroom and showered. The warm water relaxed her. She pined for the time Xavier would be back on his feet and able to join her. Hopefully, on his next visit Dr. Daniels would remove the cast and give him the okay to start getting up on his leg.

  So far, the brain damage Dr. Daniels told him about hadn’t really seemed to affect Xavier. Yes, he sometimes got moody and it was easier for him to get angry, but it wasn’t too far out of the ordinary that it caused her to be overly concerned.

  She came out of the bathroom in Pepper fashion. Xavier looked at her with wanting. It usually took her physically touching him for his body to become aroused. This morning was different. He found himself becoming excited without prompts.

  Pepper walked over and sat on the bed while reaching behind her to grab her jeans from the other side of the bed.

  Xavier sat fully up in the bed, and as she turned and leaned to get the jeans, he grabbed hold of her until they were face to face.

  Pepper looked at him curiously. “What’s up?” Unsure what was going on inside that mind of his.

  “This…” he pulled back the bed covers.

  Pepper smiled and without exchanging more words, Xavier pulled her 110-lb frame easily and covered any space that may have been between them. Their mouths united and their tongues explored each other’s like they were in search for sunken treasure. His hands made music with her softness and his excitement coursed through her crevice.

  Barely able to talk, the eagerness she felt from him gave her a new sense of urgency, but she spoke anyway. “Guess I’ll be missing the first service.” His deep kisses kept her from saying another word. All that escaped from her throat were whimpers of pleasure in tune with his guttural moans.

  31

  “I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Jimmy Dean

  Stiles’ installation service filled Pastor’s heart with joy. The service opened with music by Holy Rock’s choir following two songs by the guest choir, one which was Full of Grace. He felt proud that his church had turned out strong. Kareena, River, and some of the deacons were seated close to the front of the church and could easily be seen by Stiles. Other members were lined up on the pews behind them. Just about every member, if not every member, of the choir was present and accounted for. They sung his favorite song,” God Will Take Care of Me.”

  An installation service for an associate pastor wasn’t the norm, but in Khalil McCoy fashion, Khalil didn’t care about the norm. He wanted to recognize Stiles in this manner and he was glad he did. He read the scripture reading and one of two guest pastors rendered the invocation

  Normally, at a regular installation service, there would be a guest sermon but Stiles was given this charge. “It’s a blessing and certainly a privilege to stand before you this afternoon in the capacity of associate pastor of this divine church, Holy Rock Ministries. I want to first acknowledge God, then Pastor Khalil McCoy for extending this invitation to me. I thank him for giving me a second chance to come back to Memphis in this honorable position of associate pastor. I want to thank my Houston family, Full of Grace Ministries, for traveling to Memphis to share in this special occasion. Will you all please stand.” He extended his hand out toward the congregation. Over 200 people stood to their feet. The remaining congregation clapped. “And the choir,” he turned and extended his hand again for Full of Grace Ministries choir. “Thank you Full of Grace choir. For those of you who may not know, that song they just sang by VaShawn Mitchell is one of my favorites. How many of you are a witness that God will take care of you?”

  Another round of applause, Amens, and Hallelujahs resonated through the expansive sanctuary.

  “I think it’s appropriate that I take my text from Matthew chapter eighteen, verse twenty-one, English Standard Version: Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ Today, allow me for just a short time to talk about “Second Chances.”

  His twenty minute sermon stirred the over capacity crowd and people could be heard shouting and praising God as he delivered the Word.

  The last part of the service, Khalil returned to the pulpit and gave Stiles his duties.

  Stiles, in response, promised to uphold the duties of associate pastor.

  “There will be a reception in the church banquet hall for our associate pastor, Full of Grace members, as well as our visiting pastors and choirs. We want to feed you before you leave our presence,” Khalil announced after the benediction.

  Fancy mingled with the guests and met many of the members from Full of Grace, including Kareena, whom she found to be a beautiful, graceful woman. It was a shame Stiles let her slip through his fingers, but then again, as Fancy thought about it, it was a good thing because from what Victoria said, last night was a success. Stiles had asked Victoria for her phone number, and Victoria said he even called, not texted, her last night to make sure she made it home safely, and to ask her if s
he would be attending his installation services today. Fancy was ecstatic. Maybe Victoria and Stiles’ would find love and happiness in each other, and she would be responsible for it!

  She took a brief exit out of the banquet hall to check on Xavier. She hadn’t seen or heard from him or Pepper. She ran into Victoria as she was getting ready to enter the banquet hall.

  “Hey, girl, you look good.”

  “Thanks, Fancy. I like that suit you’re wearing too. Girl, can you believe I’m here? You know me, normally by this time of afternoon I’m at home chillin’ and watching The Real Housewives or something or getting ready for work tomorrow.”

  “I told you the two of you were going to hit it off.” Fancy laughed.

  “I don’t know. It’s too early to tell. But anyway, I like him. So get to praying for a sista.”

  “I already am. Look, have you heard from Pepper? I didn’t see Xavier or her at the first or second service and I still haven’t seen them.”

  “Yes, Pepper texted me and told me she planned on coming to first service but Xavier wanted to stay in.”

  “Oh, I better call and check on him. I hope he’s all right. I still worry about him.”

  “I don’t think anything’s wrong. I believe they were just tired from last night.”

  “Okay, but I’m going to make a quick call just to make sure.”

  “Girl, you worry too much. Anyway, I’m going in here and see if I can speak to Reverend Graham and then I’m going to get out of here.”

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you this week. Keep me posted if you hear from him.”

  “You know I will.” With that, Victoria vanished into the banquet hall.

  “Honey, are you okay?” Fancy asked when Xavier answered the phone. “I didn’t see you at church.”

  “I changed my mind. I wasn’t feeling it today.”

  “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Fancy pressed.

  “Ma, didn’t I say I was good? Now, please stop treating me like a kid.”

  “I’m sorry, son. I just worry about you. That’s all.”

  “No need. Like I said, I’m good.”

  Fancy heard the aggravation in the tone of his voice. He used to be such a mild-mannered young man, easy going, and slow to anger, but now he could snap at a moment’s notice. She told herself it was the effects of the brain injury. Do not take it personally, Fancy.

  “Okay, well, I’ll bring you something to eat when I leave church. The installation service has ended and I’m at the reception now.”

  “Don’t do that. Pepper already got us something. Plus, we still have food left from last night. They packed a lot.”

  “Oh, good. Well, I’m going to go back into this reception. I’ll check on you later.”

  “Yea, bye, Ma.” The call ended before she could respond. She shook her head and then turned to go back into the hall but stopped when she heard someone say, “Excuse me?”

  Fancy looked around and met the most gorgeous eyes belonging to none other than Dr. Daniels.

  “Aren’t you, uh, my patient’s mother? Xavier McCoy?”

  Fancy smiled. “Yes, I am, Dr. Daniels. What are you doing here?”

  “My pastor is the one who gave the first invocation. I’m his head deacon. I accompany him when he visits other churches as much as I can, or when time permits. And you?”

  “My son is the senior pastor. Khalil McCoy.”

  “Oh, I recall you saying your son was a pastor but I didn’t put two and two together—you know Xavier McCoy and Khalil McCoy.”

  “That’s understandable. It’s a small world, isn’t it, Dr. Daniels?”

  “Yes, it is. And please, call me Micah.” He extended his hand toward Fancy.

  “And you should call me Fancy,” she said coyly.

  “Fancy? What an interesting name. I like it. It suits you perfectly.”

  “Thank you. Uh, were you going to the reception?”

  “Yes, I am. And you?”

  “Yes, I just stepped out here for a minute to check on my son.”

  “Xavier?”

  “Yes.”

  “What? Is he experiencing complications?”

  “Oh, nothing like that. It’s just me being a mother, you know.”

  Micah smiled and Fancy thought her heart would melt.

  “Did your wife come with you?”

  “No. I don’t have a wife. Is your husband…or boyfriend here with you?”

  “No, I don’t have a husband…or a boyfriend.”

  “Umm, looks like we have something in common already, Fancy. Shall we go inside?”

  “Yes, we shall.” she blushed again and they walked into the banquet hall.

  32

  “You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.” Love & Other Drugs

  “Your installation ceremony was nice.”

  “Yea, it was. I was glad to look out in the congregation and see you sitting there. You were almost front and center.”

  “Can you believe it? I usually sit as close to the back exit as possible.”

  “Oh, I see. You’re one of those people who like to dash out before the benediction.”

  “Yea, you got me.”

  Stiles and Victoria chuckled. He was at home relaxing in his man cave and Victoria was at home in her lady lair, drinking a glass of Moscato. She often closed her evening with a glass of wine. It helped her mentally relax and get her in the frame of mind for the next day.

  Stiles was drawn to Victoria like a bee to pollen. In the 24 hours he’d officially known her, she had made him laugh more than he’d laughed in a long time. He learned, unlike Kareena who was just twenty something years old, Victoria was thirty-nine, closer to his 44 years. It wasn’t that their ages made a difference, but it still felt nice to have someone closer in age.

  “How much longer will you be in Memphis?”

  “I’ll be flying back to Houston Saturday morning.”

  “Oh, so you’ll be here for the rest of the week.”

  “Yes, and I won’t return until November, unless I’m needed or wanted in Memphis before that time.”

  Pause.

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes, you never know when Pastor Khalil might have a change of plans and needs me to fill in for him.”

  They continued to laugh and talk for almost an hour.

  “Well, I guess I better let you go. You have work tomorrow and so do I.”

  “I enjoyed talking to you, Stiles.”

  “Same here. Hey, if you have time or if you want to, I’d like to take you to dinner before I leave.”

  “Dinner?”

  “Yes. I mean, if you’re interested. I thought since we didn’t get a chance to really talk this weekend, maybe we could spend some time getting to know each other. I could use a friend in Memphis.”

  “What about Fancy and the other ministers and their wives?”

  “You’re right, but there’s something about you that makes me want us to become better acquainted.” Stiles hoped he wasn’t being too forward or worse yet acting like a wuss. He wanted to get to know Victoria but he didn’t want to give her the impression he was looking for anything serious. He wanted what he told her he wanted, a friend. That’s it, nothing more. If she wasn’t down with that then he had her pegged all wrong from the jump.

  “Dinner would be good. You can call or shoot me a text and let me know when.” She tried to stifle her yawn. The wine was doing what it was intended to do, make her relax.

  “Okay, that’s my signal. You get some rest, Victoria.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yawn in the phone.”

  “No, it’s no problem. Have a good night and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

  “Okay, goodnight, Stiles.”

  “Gnite.”

  Khalil lay in his bed, hands propped behind his head, thinking about the success of this weekend’s events. Everything had gone off without a hitch, and eve
n better than he expected. Stiles had been received with open arms back into the family of Holy Rock. That would give Khalil more freedom to pursue some other things he had planned to expand his ministry and his pockets. So far, he wasn’t doing so bad. As a matter of fact, he was doing darn good, better than good.

  He looked around his room, surveying his blessings. Music streamed in the background from his playlist. His mind shifted to something his mother had said. It’s time for you to find your first lady. Could she be right? Did he need to settle down? Could he settle down? Since he and Eliana had been messing around, he had tamed his wild hair somewhat and dismissed a lot of the females he once allowed into his circle. None of them were wifey material. If he put any real thought into it, he would have to say Eliana was the only one who met the criteria of being his ideal First Lady. They had little tension, and she seemed to get him. She wasn’t the jealous type even after seeing how some of the ladies at Holy Rock flaunted themselves around him. Eliana let it roll off her like water rolled off oil. She was one of the type of people who could cuss you out without using a cuss word and without you knowing she had ‘cussed’ you out. Khalil laughed at the thought.

  Looking to the left of him, he picked up the remote and turned off the music and flicked on the television to see if there was a game on or a movie perhaps that was watchable on Netflix. He would push thoughts about finding a First Lady out of his mind—for now.

  Fancy curled up on her sofa with a sandwich and a glass of iced tea. Maybe I need to get myself a dog or a cat. She laughed out loud. Me with a pet running around the house? Nah, on second thought, nix that.”

  She thought maybe having a dog or cat around the house would help erase the loneliness that sometimes washed over her when she was all alone at home. She had been used to having Hezekiah around, even though he spent hours upon hours away at Holy Rock, or God knows whatever he would be out there doing. But she found peace in knowing he would be home sooner or later. Then there were the boys. They always had something going on, something to keep her busy. Now that she wasn’t spending as much time at Holy Rock, hardly any time at Holy Rock, to be honest, she found it more difficult to fill up her days. But the nights were the worse.