Moonshine and Malice

by J Lee Mitchell

  “I knew it.”

  “Knew what? Don’t keep us in suspense. I’m dying to know why you're so fascinated with a rotten potato.”

  “There aren’t potatoes, Beecher, they’re truffles. Chinese truffles, to be more specific. See how they bend when I flex them? A real truffle doesn’t do that.”

  “I’m with Beecher. I don’t get what the big deal is,” Andy said.

  “Remember the day of the fire, when Lyle Chalford was pitching a fit about his ingredients getting damaged?”

  Andy laughed. “I sure do. I was worried that I might have to hold you back.”

  “Very funny. I knew as soon as I saw and smelled these truffles that they were imitation truffles and not high quality, but when I tasted his final dish during the competition, the truffles were white, not black, definitely the real deal.”

  “Okay, so the guy decided to up his game. What’s the big deal?”

  “When you questioned him, he swore he hadn’t left the Red Herring Inn since he arrived. You can’t buy white or black truffles anywhere within 50 miles of Castle Creek, so how did he get them?”

  “Maybe he borrowed them from another contestant.”

  “No one else used truffles in their dish, and I seriously doubt one of them just happened to have spare truffles lying around, since they cost more than two hundred dollars an ounce.”

  Andy had just taken a bite of biscuit and almost choked on it as he asked, “Did you say two hundred an ounce?”

  “Considering the quality of white truffle he used in his dish, I’d say that much or more. What I’m getting at is if he lied about leaving, what else did he lie about?”

  “Is he still here? Maybe we should have another chat with him.”

  Beecher stood and pushed his plate towards Q’Bita.

  “Fill me up with some more slaw and I’ll go check with the front desk.”

  Q’Bita reloaded her brother’s plate and watched Andy as he processed what she’d just explained.

  “Andy, maybe we should call Mike Collins. It’s probably best if we don’t question Lyle ourselves.”

  Beecher came back through the swinging doors before Andy could agree or disagree.

  “Lyle checked out earlier this afternoon and was in quite the hurry. He got a phone call while Julie was processing his credit card. He went outside to take the call and never came back. She’s left him two voicemails and he hasn’t returned her calls or come back for his credit card.”

  “I’ll admit that seems a bit odd, but I want to leave Mikey out of this for now.”

  “Okay, but we can’t just ignore this; it could be important.”

  “I don’t plan to ignore it, I was just thinking maybe there’s a better approach, is all.”

  “Better approach? I’m not sure I like the sound of that, Andy.”

  “Well, I can’t believe I’m even going to suggest this, but I was thinking maybe this is a job for Jamie.”

  Q’Bita and Beecher both turned to look at Liddy Lou, who’d been quietly peeling potatoes throughout their whole conversation.

  “Oh, now y’all want my opinion, do ya? Well, normally I’d pitch a fuss at the thought of Jamie violating his probation, but I suspect that Q’Bita already has him hip-deep in this manure pile, so my input is moot.”

  “Don’t worry, Liddy Lou, I’m not planning on asking him to hack NASA or add a few zeros to my bank account. I just want to see if he can tell us who called Lyle’s cell phone and try tracking it to see where he went or where he might be now.”

  Liddy Lou sneered at all three of them and Q’Bita felt like they’d just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. She hated upsetting her nana, but Andy was right, this was what Jamie did best and they could use the help.

  “Liddy Lou, you have my word that I won’t let anything happen to Jamie.”

  “If your future plans include ever becoming a permanent part of this family, then you’d better deliver on that promise or these potatoes aren’t the only thing that’ll be missing their skin.”

  The skin on Andy’s neck was starting to turn pink, and Q’Bita had to stifle a giggle as she watched the big, strong sheriff shrinking under the glare of her nana. She let him suffer for a few more seconds then decided to bail him out.

  “I’m sure Jamie will be just fine, Nana. Andy knows what’s at stake if Jamie gets caught. I’m sure he means it when he says he won’t let anything happen.”

  Her nana shot her a raised eyebrow and went back to peeling potatoes as if the conversation had never happened.

  Andy was still looking a little sheepish but managed to work up the courage to ask if there was any pie, a move that seemed to lighten the mood for the time being.

  By the time they finished dessert and Q’Bita had cleared their dishes, all the food was prepped and ready for the next day. Q’Bita sighed in relief that this day had final ended and they could all get some much-needed rest.

  Chapter 17

  Morning came too soon and Q’Bita had to force herself to wake the handsome man snoring beside her. She knew today wasn’t going to be easy for Andy, and she felt guilty disturbing him while he was sleeping so peacefully.

  “Five more minutes, I promise.”

  “Okay. I’ll start the coffee, but don’t get too comfortable.”

  As she left the room, Andy tossed a pillow at her. She turned back to protest and saw him pulling the blankets over his head. By the time she reached the kitchen he was snoring again.

  While she waited for the coffee to finish, she pulled her phone from the charger and checked it for any messages or missed calls from Jamie. Andy had called Jamie as soon as they’d gotten to her suite last night, and Jamie jumped at the chance to help.

  Despite Andy’s attempt to console her nana, Q’Bita was also nervous about Jamie doing any type of hacking. He was still on probation, and getting caught was a one-way ticket directly to jail.

  She jumped and almost dropped the phone as it rang in her hand.

  “That was fast. Were you sitting on your phone? Oh wait, the hunky lawman is there, so I’m guessing you wouldn’t need to sit on the phone to get your kicks.”

  “Um, don’t go there, Jamie.”

  “Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

  “Sorry, I guess I’m a little on edge. Andy hasn’t fully come to terms with Jock’s death yet and I’m worried this funeral will break him. I know it sounds selfish, but I just want today over and done with.”

  “It’s not selfish to protect the people you love, Q’B-Doll. It’s part of what makes you, well, you.”

  Q’Bita wiped a stray tear from her cheek with the back of her hand and sniffled.

  “Okay, Hallmark moment’s over. Now let’s get down to the good stuff, shall we?”

  “Did you find Lyle?”

  “Not exactly, but the call he got was from a phone registered to the Social Proof Moonshine company.”

  “Okay, probably related to the contest so not really helpful.”

  “I didn’t get to the good part yet. The call came from somewhere near the warehouse district downtown, which just happens to be the last place I was able to place Lyle’s cell phone. Since then neither phone has been used, and the tracking isn’t active on either phone.”

  “The warehouse district? That’s weird. Why would Lyle be hanging out down there?”

  “That’s what I wondered, too, so I did some digging and found a property registered to the Social Proof Moonshine Company. It’s not far from where Lyle’s phone signal dropped off the grid.”

  “So, what’s next, then?”

  “Since everyone in town will be at the Red Herring Inn after the funeral, I thought maybe I could do a little reconnaissance on my way there. I just want to take a peek at the Social Proof Moonshine property and see if everything looks on the up and up.”

  “Jamie. Be careful. Something seems off about all this to me, and if Lyle does turn out to be connected to Jock’s death in some way,
it could be dangerous.”

  Jamie was quiet for a few seconds and then sighed.

  “Okay, I hear you. Would it make you feel better if I take Hadleigh with me? She can be my lookout.”

  “As long as you arm her with a Taser and she has 911 on speed dial.”

  Jamie laughed and Q’Bita relaxed a little.

  “Q'B-Doll, we’ll be careful, I promise. Besides, Beecher already told Hadleigh there’s going to be ham and biscuits after the services. She skipped breakfast this morning just to save room, so I’m sure she won’t let me snoop long enough to even get in trouble.”

  “You tell her that I’ll save a whole plate of them just for her if she promises to keep you out of trouble.”

  Q’Bita could hear Andy moving around the bedroom.

  “Andy’s up. I gotta go. Come find me where you get to the church and we can talk more.”

  Q’Bita hung up just as Andy made his way to the kitchen.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Q’Bita closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Andy. He returned her embrace and they stayed that way for a few minutes. Andy pulled back first and whispered, “Coffee” in a pleading voice.

  “And pie?” Q’Bita asked with a small chuckle.

  “Pie for breakfast? I just might have to marry you, Q’Bita Block.”

  Q’Bita froze for a second then turned to look at Andy. This was the first time the M word had been spoken between them and she wasn’t sure how to react, but decided humor was the best option.

  “I think I’ve seriously underestimated your love of pie.”

  Andy reached out and took her hands in his.

  “You are the only thing in this world I love more than pie, and I need you to know that. Today is going to suck and I’m already a mess. If it wasn’t for you and your family, I don’t think Aunt Maggie, or I, could get through this. Losing my pap has shown me that time with the people we love it too short and not guaranteed. I know I’m kind of springing this on you out of left field, but when this is all over, I don’t want to waste any more of the time we have together.”

  A million thoughts chased each other through her mind as Andy spoke. Her marriage to Alain had only lasted a few years before his death, and while she loved Andy, she hadn’t allowed herself to even consider that their relationship might reach this point, so she was fully unprepared for this conversation.

  A knock at the door saved her from having to say anything.

  “You get the door, I’ll see if I can find the cat that got your tongue and snatch it back for you.”

  “My tongue is working fine, thank you. I was just distracted trying to picture what a wedding pie would look like instead of a wedding cake.”

  Q’Bita opened the door and saw the look of surprise on her mother’s face.

  “Wedding cake? Why are you two discussing wedding cake? Is there something I should know?”

  Q’Bita stepped back as her mother pushed forward with a garment bag in one hand and a big wicker basket in the other.

  “Andy, I hope you don’t think I over stepped my boundaries, but Mama mentioned that you were exhausted last night, so I borrowed Q’Bita’s keys and I went by your place. I picked up a suit, shirt, tie, and unmentionables. There’s warm bagels, fresh fruit, and cheese in the basket for you kids, too.”

  Q’Bita got weepy as Andy reached out and hugged her mother.

  “Thank you, Kari. I really don’t know what I’d do without this family.”

  “Which brings me back to my original question. Why were you two talking about wedding cake?”

  “Actually, it was wedding pie,” Andy added.

  Her mother’s eyes sparkled, and her smile was so wide she could have swallowed her own face. She clapped her hands together in delight and Q’Bita knew she needed to nip this in the bud now before her mother started planning the wedding.

  “It was just a discussion, Mother. If our relationship status changes, I’ll be sure to post it on Facebook and tag you so you don’t miss the news.”

  “You’re a fun sucker, just like your father. Just sucking the fun out of everything.”

  Her mother waited for a reply, but when Q’Bita didn’t take the bait, her mother turned back to Andy and rolled her eyes.

  “Okay, then, I guess that’s my cue to scoot. You kids enjoy your breakfast and go back to discussing whatever it was that my daughter doesn’t want to discuss with me.”

  Andy walked her mother to the door and thanked her again for taking care of his suit. He closed the door and then spun around to face her. They locked eyes and Q’Bita knew he was waiting for her to say something about their marriage discussion, but her mind had gone totally blank.

  “Okay, I won’t push you right now, but we’re going to continue this conversation later.”

  Q’Bita swallowed loudly and nodded in agreement, then picked up the garment bag and headed for the bedroom. She hung Andy’s suit on the bathroom door and sat down on the edge of the bed. She needed a minute before going back out to the kitchen. She didn’t get much time to think before she heard her phone ringing again.

  “It’s Beecher. Want me to answer?”

  “Ya, I’ll be right there.”

  When she reached the kitchen, Andy was leaning on the counter holding the phone a few inches from his ear. He threw her a look and shook his head.

  “Hey, Q’Bita just walked in. Why don’t you discuss this with her? I’m sure she knows more about this kind of thing than I do.”

  Andy held out the phone, covering it with his hand.

  “It’s not Beecher. It’s Rene. He wants to discuss outfits, something about wanting to look bereaved but timelessly chic. I have no idea what that even means.”

  Q’Bita mouthed a silent sorry as she took the phone from Andy. Rene started talking before she even had a chance to say hello.

  “Tell him it means achieving the perfect mash-up of Jackie Kennedy and Zsa Zsa Gabor. I don’t want to get this wrong and show up looking like a mash-up of Madonna and Miley Cyrus. Oh, who am I kidding? With my legs, either one would be epic.”

  “Rene, can you take a battery out for a second?”

  “Hello, I called you for advice, Q’Bita. If I want to be insulted, I call Evie.”

  “I’m not trying to insult you. I’m just saying that it’s a funeral, and whatever you decide to go with should be somber and understated. We’re saying goodbye, not competing for the best dressed list.”

  “You sound so much like your brother that it’s depressing. Fine then, I’ll skip the leopard print cape and go with the zebra print ascot. I’ll probably catch my death from the chill, but I won’t have it be said that I didn’t support this family in its hour of need.”

  “I’m sure whatever you choose, you’ll be the most fabulously dressed person there.”

  “Thank you. At least someone in this family gets me. Now, what about accessories? Beecher says a parasol would be too much, but I worry about exposing my delicate complexion to all those nasty UV rays.”

  Andy smirked at her as he bit into a bagel and she could feel her stomach gurgling in protest.

  “I think Beecher is right on this one. Go with a good sunscreen and maybe a hat. Fedora, not fez. I hate to cut this short, but I have to go, Rene. See you at the church.”

  Q’Bita could hear Rene protesting as she hung up, and she felt a pang of guilt, but her brother-in-law could be as exhausting as the flu and she didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now.

  ***

  The service and the burial had gone better than Q’Bita had expected. Andy managed to keep himself pulled together. Unfortunately, this had not been the case with his Aunt Maggie. Seeing Maggie so upset had caused Q’Bita to lose it at least twice during the day, and she was emotionally spent.

  Normally she loved having large gatherings at the Red Herring Inn, but these were usually celebrations of special occasions, full of laughter and happiness, not somber events with
tears and hushed voices.

  The sudden sound of raised voices drew everyone’s attention. Q’Bita recognized Maggie’s voice and saw Andy was already up and heading toward the altercation. She chased after Andy, grabbing Beecher by the arm and dragging him along as she rushed past him.

  “I don’t give a raccoon’s furry tooty what your intentions were. You two have already done enough damage and you’re not welcome here.”

  “Now, Maggie, don’t go getting all riled up. Regardless of what Andy thinks, Jock was our friend.”

  Q’Bita skidded to a stop so fast Beecher banged into her and almost toppled them both over.

  “Oh crap, this isn’t going to end well. Beecher, do something before Andy ends up in jail.”

  “I got this,” Beecher said as he moved quickly, putting himself between Andy and the last two people anyone expected to see at Jock’s funeral.

  “You two a-holes have five seconds to get lost or I’m gonna beat your asses for the second time this week.”

  Q’Bita cringed at the volume with which Andy had just publicly threatened Earl and Beanie. To her relief, her father and Orvis Burr appeared on either side of the unwelcome duo.

  “Andy, why don’t you and Maggie go grab some coffee and pie? Orvis and I will show these two gentlemen to the door.”

  Andy’s feet stayed planted, and Q’Bita could see the rage simmering through him. She held her breath as Andy’s hands balled into fists. She said a silent prayer that his next move wouldn’t be to flatten Earl or Beanie in front of everyone in town.

  She exhaled in relief as Beecher took a step towards Andy and put an arm around his shoulder.

  “Andy, come on, let’s go get that pie before it’s all gone. First slice is on me.”

  Q’Bita took a cue from her bother and placed an arm around Maggie, steering her towards the dessert table as well.

  She heard Earl and Beanie mumbling in protest as her father and Orvis escorted them toward the front entrance. She could feel Maggie’s shoulders shaking as they walked.

  “What in the seven hells could those two halfwits have been thinking, showing up here like that? They’re just lucky Andy’s suspended and wasn’t armed.”