The Helmet of Horror
Page 18
Chapter Eighteen
Nutscracker
I mean, who are we going to be?
Ariadne
Papa will tell us that now.
Nutscracker
How . . .
Monstradamus: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR
IsoldA: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR
Nutscracker: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR
Organizm(-: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR
Sartrik: PRE PARSIPHAE HUM HUM MINOSAUR
Monstradamus
No, anything but that! No!
Nutscracker
What? What? No I don't want that either. Nobody does. But why? Why?
UGLI 666
Stay calm.
Romeo-y-Cohiba
Don't panic.
Organizm(-:
Stay calm . . .
Monstradamus
Please, no!
UGLI 666
Just relax. You're our head, and that goes through first.
Monstradamus: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
IsoldA: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Nutscracker: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Organizm(-: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Sartrik: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Ariadne: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
UGLI 666: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Romeo-y-Cohiba: Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a! Wha-a-a!
Ariadne
Hi, little brother. My, but you're ugly.
Organizm(-:
So what, now we'll be the Minosaur. The ancient serpent.
UGLI 666
We always were, heh-heh. That human stuff was nothing but a nuisance. And all that bovine stuff too.
Organizm(-:
We'll be a dragon. We'll fly up to the clouds and dive down to the bottom of the sea. Maybe now things really will be easier.
Monstradamus
Easier? But we've got Sartrik stuck right in the middle of us. Now we'll feel like puking all the time. Constantly. No matter how deep we dive, no matter who we pretend to be. Even Lolita, even a Rolls-Royce.
Romeo-y-Cohiba
But what if Sartrik hits the drink so hard that he slips the hook too?
Nutscracker
Let's not have any gloom and doom. The helmet isn't coming off.
Organizm(-:
But Theseus took it off.
Nutscracker
Maybe he never even put it on. Otherwise where could he have got to? There's no way out of there. There's nothing but jeeps, surf and sunshine. And horror, of course. And I'm not just guessing, I'm speaking as a professional.
IsoldA
But where is he now?
Nutscracker
What does it matter to us? There's no stopping him now.
Monstradamus: I feel sick, xxx.
IsoldA: I feel sick, xxx.
Nutscracker: I feel sick, xxx.
Organizm(-: I feel sick, xxx.
Sartrik: I feel sick, xxx.
Ariadne: I feel sick, xxx. It's time to get out of here . . .
UGLI 666: I feel sick, xxx.
Romeo-y-Cohiba: I feel sick, xxx.
Sartrik
And my stomach's rumbling, xxx. Listen, Monstradamus. There's one thing I still don't get. Where did all this happen?
Monstradamus
Are you really that stupid or can you just not sober up? In the helmet of horror.
Sartriks
Oh. And who to?
Monstradamus
You.
*
Disclaimer: Not a single fictitious Ancient Greek youth or maiden was killed during the creation of this text.