Devoted: Emerson Falls, Book 5 (Emerson Falls Series)

by Harlow James

  “Hearing you come through the phone the other day was pure torture, do you know that?”

  “I still can’t believe we did that,” I reply as his lips press against the back of my knees. His touch is climbing higher and higher towards the apex of my legs and it’s making it harder for me to breathe.

  “Well, hopefully the actual thing is that much better.” Those are the last words Brooks speaks as his hands disappear beneath my dress and his fingers glide along the dampness of my thong. He tears the fabric down my legs, and then he’s pressing my dress up over my hips, exposing the most intimate part of me to him in the fractals of light coming through the blinds.

  I lean up on my elbows so I can see him, his eyes transfixed on the space between my legs. And then they flick up and lock on mine as he leans forward and drags his entire tongue across my pussy, igniting every nerve ending in a blaze of glory.

  “Oh, god,” I say on an exhale, never breaking eye contact with him. Our gaze is locked on each other as his tongue moves across my flesh and flicks at my clit, the burn and ache that was already there all evening now growing exponentially in a matter of seconds.

  Brooks dips his tongue deep in my core and then returns to my clit, exploring every inch of me while I watch him. It’s one of the most erotic things I’ve ever witnessed and ever experienced. He’s feasting on the spot between my legs, and that thought alone builds my orgasm quickly.

  As my breathing sharpens and I finally throw my head back in pleasure, Brooks picks up his pace and licks me every which way. Then his fingers enter me in one fluid moment and pulse in and out of me in time with his tongue. The pressure between my legs is climbing higher and higher until I reach forward and grip his hair when my orgasm hits.

  “Oh, yes!” I shout, grinding my hips against his face where his tongue is still moving, drawing out every ounce of pleasure from my body. And then I collapse, falling back on the bed in a heaping mess of chiffon fabric and sweat.

  “Damn, that was so much better in person,” he states, standing and wiping his face with the back of his hand. The man just ate me out and all I want to do is kiss him.

  “I agree. I can’t sit up.”

  Brooks enjoys my comatose state with a laugh and then stands, reaching for my hand to pull me up to sit. I smooth out my dress over my exposed skin and then stare up at him, his tall stature and rugged handsomeness gleaming in the moonlight.

  “Thank you.”

  “No, thank you. I’ve been dying to do that.”

  “Your turn?” I say more as a question, even though I’m not sure if Brooks expects the favor to be returned or not. But by the way his slacks are tented right now, I think it’s safe to say he probably needs a release too.

  He denies me with a shake of his head and then sits down on the bed next to me. “That’s unnecessary. I don’t want to rush anything if you’re not ready. But I’m glad you let me satisfy that craving.” One of his hands rises and then brushes my unruly hair behind my ear.

  “Brooks,” I exasperate. “It’s not that I’m not ready. I just…”

  His hand finds mine and squeezes. “You know you can talk to me, Jess. Remember, we agreed to be honest with each other.”

  I sigh and then decide to just bite the bullet. At least if he freaks out and runs for the hills, he gave me one hell of an orgasm before I lost him. “I’m afraid to sleep with you…”

  “O-kay,” he drags out. “Care to elaborate?”

  My eyes fall to my lap where his hand is still holding mine. “Well, remember how I said I haven’t had the best of luck in dating?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I think there’s a reason why.”

  “I need more details, Jess.”

  I roll my eyes and then face him again. “I’m getting there. It all started with Trent. He was this guy I dated in nursing school. We were hot together, sort of how I feel around you, but things didn’t work out. Turns out he was using me to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.”

  “What a douche.”

  “Agreed. We parted ways, I chalked it up for what it was, and then tried to move on. Only a few months later, I found out he reconciled with his ex and then proposed to her.”

  “Then they deserve each other.”

  “Yes. But then it happened again.”

  Brooks’ eyebrows draw together and he looks like I just asked him to solve a riddle. “What do you mean?”

  “The next guy I dated ended up proposing to the woman he dated after me. And then the one after that, and the one after that.”

  Brooks tilts his head to the side with a sly grin on his face. “So, you’re telling me that the last four guys you’ve dated have all gotten engaged to the women they’ve dated after you.”

  “Yes. And now… with you…”

  Instantly, recognition dawns on Brooks’ face. “You think it’s going to happen with me, don’t you?”

  “Sort of. I know it sounds crazy, but this is literally what has happened with the last four men I’ve dated.”

  A low chuckle escapes his lips and then he pulls my forehead to his. “Jess. Thank you for telling me. Although I hate that you’ve experienced this and you feel like this black dating cloud is following you around—”

  “I call it my curse.”

  Brooks really laughs now, and I’m not sure if I should be offended or not. “Okay, your curse. It sucks, but that doesn’t mean you’re cursed. What if the entire reason things didn’t work out with them is because they weren’t meant to?”

  “I know that’s a possibility, but I can’t say that the irony of it happening four times doesn’t rattle my confidence a bit, Brooks.”

  He nods and then presses his lips to mine in a quick peck. “I guess I can understand that. But hey, I don’t have any recent ex-girlfriends, and the only girl I could remotely see a future with is sitting right here with me.”

  My jaw drops slightly with his admission. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m crazy about you, Jess. Our relationship is so different. We can be serious with each other and playful. The physical attraction is obviously there. And the more I get to know about you, the more I thank God I moved back home.”

  Hearing Brooks reassure me that I’m not crazy but validated in my fear lessens the strain on my shoulders. And knowing that he’s truly invested in whatever this is between us definitely pushes me to want to move past this silly curse I’ve convinced myself I have.

  I honestly feel like since this all started happening after my mom died, it was a way for the universe to tell me not to get attached to someone for fear of hurting them like my dad hurt when my mother left us so suddenly—at least that’s how I interpreted it. But now with this man sitting in front of me, I’ve realized that he’s probably right. Those relationships didn’t work because they weren’t meant to. And if those men all found their future wives after we dated, it had to have been purely coincidental.

  “I’m glad you moved home too, Brooks. Thank you for not laughing at me and telling me I’m crazy. I just—I just thought you should know why I’m hesitant to sleep with you.”

  His hand cups my cheek. “First of all, I did laugh at you, but only because I’d never heard a girl call herself cursed before. But second, you never have to explain to a man why you don’t want to sleep with him, especially me, Jess. My dick might be sad right now, but I know it will be worth the wait.”

  I giggle through his honesty and then kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his neck as he holds me and makes me feel seen and heard for the first time in my life by a man. Brooks Bennet is truly perfect in my eyes and I can’t believe he’s choosing me.

  Until suddenly, he didn’t seem so perfect after all.

  Chapter 14

  Brooks

  “I’m beginning to question your sanity.” Jess shoots me a salty look as I take her hand and lead her up to the building where our date will take place tonight. I feel the buzz of my phone in my pocket, accompanied by a notification ding, but I
choose to ignore it. Tonight I want as few distractions as possible from my time with Jess.

  “Oh, I thought this was mild compared to zip lining. In retrospect, I probably should have done this first to get you warmed up.”

  She chuckles as I open the door and guide her inside, the smell of sawdust and timber hits our noses the second we walk in. I watch her eyes brighten as she takes in the room and accompanying noises. Cheering pulls our direction to the side behind a small pony wall where a woman just hit the bullseye with her axe.

  “You know what? You’re right. This might actually be fun. And I can’t wait to watch you channel your inner lumber jack.” She places a kiss on my cheek and then leans her head on my arm as we wait in line to pay.

  I wanted to take Jess on another date that would get our adrenaline pumping, but also something a little more low-key than zip lining. Ethan told me of this place, Lumber Jacks, after he took Mariah here for a date. He was adamant that this activity would ignite my competitive spirit and help me take out some aggression, so I took his suggestion to heart and planned the evening for us. Plus, I can’t wait to watch Jess throw an axe like a bad ass.

  It’s been a week since Cash and Piper’s wedding and the first time that Jess and I have been able to spend some time together outside of the hospital. That night when she opened up to me about her ‘curse’, things started to click for me about why she’s been cautious about our connection. I personally haven’t had many relationships that have lasted longer than a few weeks of hooking up, so I can’t relate to what she must have felt as men she invested time in moved on from her to their happily ever after’s. But after seeing the fear in her eyes that it would happen again with me, I knew I didn’t want to give her any reason to doubt what we’ve been building. It’s difficult to accept that the physical part of our relationship will progress slower than I wanted now when I fight the natural instinct to claim her every time she’s near, but I do know that Jess is the type of woman that is worth that patience.

  And watching her get excited over trying something new reminds me of why I’ve been so adamant in pursuing her. Her joy is bringing light to my clouded world right now—and that’s exactly what I need from her tonight.

  It’s been rough watching my mom grow weaker and more frail in the past few weeks. She’s due for another treatment next week and I know the days that will follow will be the worst. I’m mentally preparing myself for it, while also assessing how much longer I can keep my mother’s diagnosis from Jess.

  Most people wouldn’t understand why I want to keep that a secret—but until you go through watching the one person you love more than anything battle for their life, knowing they might not make it in the end—well, a shield of denial forms that you rely on to block it out whenever you get the chance. You start to compartmentalize your life into boxes, and you put that illness in its own box for fear of it infecting the others. It’s like television or reading for some people. It’s an escape from reality, and that’s what time with Jess has become.

  Even though the feelings I’m developing for this girl are definitely real.

  Since the venue is pay-by-the-hour, I purchase an hour of lane time for the two of us and then we walk over to our assigned station where our axes and instructor are waiting for us. The woman explains the do’s and don’ts of throwing an axe and then leaves us to it.

  “Do you want anything to drink? I’m going to go to the bar before we start.”

  “They serve alcohol? That doesn’t seem intelligent for an activity like this.” Jess’s concern is so freaking cute, I wanna press her up against the wall and shove my tongue down her throat.

  “Well, bars let you play darts while drinking? I’m guessing it’s probably along those same lines of thinking.”

  She teeters her head back and forth before agreeing. “Touché. I’ll have a vodka and cranberry then, please.”

  “Coming right up.”

  As I stand in line to order our drinks, my phone buzzes in my pocket again. Noticing I have a moment before it’s my turn, I retrieve it and see that my aunt has texted me three times in the past twenty minutes. I scan the messages asking me to stop by the store to pick up a few things for my mom’s house on my way home, shaking my head in annoyance when I absorb that as much as I need this night away from responsibilities, they’ll always be there.

  I stuff my phone back in my pocket and step up to the bar to order, realizing there’s a limit on drinks to prevent over-inebriation, which provides some level of comfort knowing people throwing sharp metal objects around can’t get too out of control.

  The bartender hands me my beer and Jess’s cocktail and I return to the table stationed to the side of our lane against the wall. Two white lines are drawn on the floor beside us and the two targets are hanging several feet down the aisle. I’m a pretty competitive person by nature, so I’m curious to see if Jess has that same edge to her as well.

  “Here you go, babe.” I hand her the drink and then take a long sip of my beer before sighing in contentment. “Fuck, that’s good. Nothing like the first sip of an ice cold beer to quench your thirst and help you relax.”

  “It has been a long week, hasn’t it?” Jess sips her cocktail before standing and pulling her jeans up and then smoothing her shirt over her waist.

  “Damn right it has,” I reply as my eyes dance up and down her body. I couldn’t help but study the way the denim hugged her hips when I picked her up and walked her to my car. The black shirt she paired with them is form fitting too, giving me a perfect glimpse of the voluptuous little body she has on her short frame. The top half of her hair is pulled back though, giving in to my compromise when I texted her and asked her to wear it down. And as I watch her walk to the station where the axes are waiting, all I can picture is her thick legs wrapped around my waist later as I carry her through my house to my bedroom.

  Suddenly, my dick is growing in my jeans, providing an obstacle in throwing an axe appropriately I’d assume. Needing to reel myself in, I squash my untimely thoughts as quickly as I can and then stand behind Jess as we each grab an axe.

  “You wanna go first?”

  She shakes her head and then looks up at me. “I’m sort of nervous to do it wrong or throw my back out. How about you go?”

  Our eyes both veer down range where two giant black circles are drawn on wooden pallets nailed to the wall. There are five circles with point values, the largest circle obviously being worth less points. I’m fairly confident this won’t take me too long to master, so I oblige and decide to go first.

  “Okay. Watch and learn, beautiful.” I flash her a wink and then move to the line, positioning my body in the way the instructor described—dominant hand on the top, pulling the axe all the way behind my head, rocking back, and then throwing my entire body forward before releasing the axe at eye-level, and watching it fly down range to hit the target.

  I land in the circle just outside of the bullseye, earning a respectable four points on my first throw. I’ll take it.

  “Nice. That didn’t look so hard.”

  I shrug like it was nothing, although I’m fairly certain I just used muscles I haven’t in a long time and will probably pay for this tomorrow. Good thing I’m just hanging out with my mom and have nothing strenuous planned.

  “Alright, Jess. Let’s see what you’ve got.” I nudge her playfully as she steps to the line, taking her time to get her grip correct. She goes through the movements and then releases the axe a little too late, throwing it into the ground down range.

  She pouts when she looks back at me and then throws her hands up in the air. “I tried?”

  Fuck. The purse of her lips is making me hard again. I laugh and then make my way back over to her after picking up her axe as my phone dings again. Because I’m a doctor it’s normal for my phone to blow up constantly, so I try to ignore it, but Jess doesn’t miss the sound.

  “Do you need to answer your phone?” Her eyes veer down to the pocket of my jeans and the
n back up at me.

  “No. It’s okay,” I grumble, feeling my irritation build as the notifications continue to ping even though I so desperately want to ignore them. I wish I could turn my phone off completely, but between my job and my mother’s state of health, it would be irresponsible of me to do so. “Try it again. I think you released it too late.”

  “Alright.” Her sweet smile pulls me back to the moment as I watch her prepare for her next attempt.

  Jess takes her time getting into position and uses her entire body, the smooth motion almost hypnotizing as we watch the axe fly, this time sticking it to the target in the second circle from the outside. “Oh, my god! I did it!” She shouts and then launches herself at me, my arms encircling her on instinct. The smell of her body spray hits my nose so I breathe her in deeply as she holds me tight, getting a hit of my new favorite drug.

  “You did! Damn, that was hot,” I growl in her ear. “Let’s keep going.” We get a few more practice throws in before I suggest we keep score.

  “I don’t know. I don’t like to lose,” she teases as she bites her lip.

  “Neither do I. Care to make it interesting?” I pop a brow at her as she grins playfully at me across the table, sipping on her drink.

  “Okay. I’m game. What’s the wager?”

  “Whoever wins gets an orgasm tonight,” I say without thinking, but by the way her lips curl up, I sense her mind was in the same gutter as mine. I know Jess wants to wait to have sex, but that doesn’t mean we need to be completely celibate in the meantime.

  “That’s the best bet I’ve ever heard.” She reaches across the table to shake on it, our palms meeting and exchanging a level of heat between them that fuels the competition. “Deal.”

  Jess and I each get a turn, but my throw beats hers by one point. Just that one glimpse of a potential loss has her throwing her game face on, and suddenly I’m regretting this competition because it’s only making it harder for me to stay on my best behavior. I’m filling in the scorecard, assessing my lead, when my phone rings loudly in my pocket. I pull it out and glance down at the screen to see four more text messages from my aunt, and when I see her name flashing on the call, I know my decision undoubtedly that I have to answer. I sigh in frustration but then wonder if something happened, accepting that I can’t ignore her any longer.